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[closeuri_s]

I'm beginning to think that maybe...just maybe, we fell for the image of us, more than we actually did for each other.

I don't know...you tell me.

*shrugs shoulders*

Comments

hey

[moreislezz]

that sounds like really good song lyrics.....can i use them? they would fit perfectly with something i jsut wrote not too long ago....

Re: hey

[closeuri_s]

of course you can.

[teartear]

why do you think that?

i don't feel that way at all. i fell hard for you, i know that much...

[closeuri_s]

I don't know...I KNOW I don't feel different, but I do feel that you do. Maybe I'm just thinking too into it, but the only reason I am is because now I'm the one falling hard...and it's taken a while for me to feel this way, but I do...and I'm really scared. It's just all the little things that make me think that way. I guess I just need to get over it.

Re:

[teartear]

there are certain things about me that you just have to understand. i'm horribly emotional. but privately. i'm bad at saying things i feel, bad about convaying them. i feel them, i just don't let people know i do most of the time. it's one of those compact little shell things. also, i have to let myself be and not think too much about everything, i have to just live, or i get all bogged down in emotions and forget to live, and then the days crawl by. i can't even explain it. i mean i know how i am, i know the things i do, but i can't put them into words. i guess i get so good at hiding at school, that i forget to drop the act other times. i'm working on it though. i really am. since that party, since amanda and nic know, since the two people that i thought would take it the wrong way, and would be the weirdest about it.... since they found out, and they actually respect me more now that they know... i've started to realize that it doesn't matter anymore what they think...what anyone else thinks... becuase it doesn't change

Re:

[closeuri_s]

it's things like that that I NEED to hear. I feel like I'm over here all alone, and that I'm the only one feeling anything. I don't care if you tell ANYBODY or nobody...but TELL ME. because I need to know. Those are things that I need to hear.

Jenni, I don't know what it is about you, but like I said, I'm falling, and I really want you here. Nothing in my life feels stable anymore, and as much as I'm used to change, I still need a feeling of stability. But the way I feel about you is the only thing steady in my life...and when that doesn't feel so solid, it's like my whole world is crashing. (I HATE FEELING LIKE THAT...I hate feeling like I need you around). I want you around, but I don't want to have to need you.

I know I have a lot of self adjustments to make, and I'm sorry for this little roller coaster I keep putting you through, but I'm not going anywhere, and I hope that neither will you.