Thank U
As some of you may know, I'm in a Creative Writing workshop and have been working on a short story. I recently completed the first draft and wanted to share it with those who have a few minutes to read. Any feed back would be amazing!
Thank U
youlearnyoucry: and so i think wed be fine!
DKross82674: I don't know Adrian...
youlearnyoucry: oh come ON! how can we sit around scared all the time?
youlearnyoucry: unless its just not important enough to u
DKross82674: Don't say that. You know how I feel about this.
youlearnyoucry: only sometimes u keep things lokecd up unless i bug u
youlearnyoucry: locked*
DKross82674: I have a job to worry about.
youlearnyoucry: right, a job...
DKross82674: Look, we agreed on a day, didn't we? I'm already doing a lot I shouldn't.
youlearnyoucry: yeah...
DKross82674: I promise it'll be worth it, okay?
youlearnyoucry: ok ok but it doesnt mean i have to be happy about it
youlearnyoucry: though...
youlearnyoucry: do u think about us u no, doin it?
DKross82674: Adrian...
youlearnyoucry: lol do u?
DKross82674: What are you trying to do to me here? Haha
youlearnyoucry: LOL thats a yes!
DKross82674: Okay, so what if I do?
youlearnyoucry: ever thought about havin me on your desk? that would be hott
DKross82674: Oh god...
youlearnyoucry: doin all those things u fantasize about w/me
DKross82674: I think I need to go before this gets too serious, a man can only take so much haha
youlearnyoucry: awww and leave me alone?
DKross82674: We'll see each other tomorrow.
youlearnyoucry: Deeeeereeeek! please stay!
DKross82674: It's late Adrian
youlearnyoucry: pretty please?
DKross82674: Just for a little more.
youlearnyoucry: aw i luv u <3
DKross82674: Heh Are you sure?
youlearnyoucry: lol of course! u no, its been a month.
DKross82674: A month?
youlearnyoucry: since we started dating!
DKross82674: Oh, right, it's been a month already?
youlearnyoucry: u forgot?
youlearnyoucry: so much for being important
DKross82674: Adrian, I love you.
youlearnyoucry: ...
youlearnyoucry: u think thats goin to work?
DKross82674: I was hoping so?
youlearnyoucry: ok it did teehee <3
DKross82674: Heh I have to sleep now, we'll talk tomorrow, alright?
youlearnyoucry: o alright... dream of me, ok? <3
DKross82674: Haha Sure thing, good night Adrian.
youlearnyoucry: night night see u in class tomorrow! <3
7:26 a.m. It still bothers me that this time exists, let alone people happily embracing it. I could hear chatter in the hallway start to get louder as the building started to get more populated, competing with the gargle from the coffee machine my shadow loomed over. I watched the steam push against the pot, begging me to release it from the mechanical prison and bask in the warmth that contrasted with the rest of the room as I downed the caffeine that would be my lifeline for the rest of my day, or rather, all my days.
“Derek!” I didn’t have time to react before I recieved a few obnoxious slaps on the back, a greeting I wasn’t ready to deal with. Pushing back my black framed glasses I have become so fond of back up to their original position before the assault, I turned to a grinning man who wanted nothing more than to ‘brighten my day.’ “How’s your morning, Mr. Kross? Ready for another day of dealing with these brats?” He held his clip board nonchalantly while assertively holding his hands at his waist, wearing shorts that shouldn’t be legal on a man at that length.
“Not really.” The glorious chime from the machine finished my sentence for me, my hands quickly disarming it and liberating the pot from its heated grasp. I grabbed a cheap styrofoam cup and filled it with the dark brew that would help me get through the next seven hours. I gave the clock another glance as I replaced the pot back and risked a sip out of my cup, knowing it’d be too hot like every other day, turning away from the P.E. teacher, or coach, or whatever he wanted to call himself. There were a few others in my situation, looking to pass out on their bagels and fast food breakfast fixes before they could make it to their classrooms. It was such a miserable sight, how people lived with themselves knowing they’d be doing this for the rest of their lives was way past my comprehension. As soon as I can, I’m out of here. I don’t belong in a place like this.
“You know, I never asked…” It was too good to be true that once my coffee would be done that all my worries were over. Had it been any later, I would have at least looked at him out of politeness, though I don’t think he ever noticed my distaste for idle chit-chat. “Is there a Mrs. Kross? You never talk about that sort of thing.” I felt his eyes intrusively trying to spot a reaction, trying to pry some answer out of me for more conversation or sucker me to another inane teacher-only after school event. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, too busy with my drink and watching one of the older English teachers fall asleep in the midst of eating her McGriddle, still wrapped in her sweater to guard her from the November cold that came on strong this morning.
“No.” I heard the standoffishness in my own voice as I hoped he would stop asking questions. He gave me a puzzled look, ready to ask the why’s and how come’s. The bell rang before he could interrogate me any further, waking up the poor lady from her slumber into embarrassment, finishing up her food quickly as if there was nothing else that could make her morning worse. “I believe that’s our call.” I started towards the door before he could run anything past me, unfinished coffee still in hand as I reached for the door leading to the now crowded hallway.
“We’ll have to talk about that sometime later! Guys night out or something, you know?” He called out before I could leave. I gave him a nod as I disappeared from his sight, taking another swing of coffee. Teenagers zoomed past me as they hurried to class, trying to shrink in size whenever they passed an adult who looked like they could get them in trouble. I thought about the possibility of a ‘guy’s night out,’ imagining myself with a bunch of out of shape middle-aged men at some smelly sports bar with scantily clad waitresses serving them beer and buffalo wings. I almost winced at the image while trekking down the hall amongst high-schoolers, barely any of them dreaming of matching my height as I waded past them to my classroom. I contemplated how I could make this day go by any faster as my coffee started to disappear, unsure if I could actually make it through the day. Last night startled to trickle into thought, remembering the conversation I had with the only person who could bring me warmth more enjoyable than anything a barista could offer me. A cough rose from my lungs in reminder to not think to deeply on the matter, at least, within the confines of my job.
Reaching the familiar door that held my prison behind it, I downed the rest of my beverage before opening the door and entering, feeling the eyes of multiple demons synchronizing their vision upon me. I offered only another nod, tossing the cup into the trash by the door before crossing the room to my desk, which I had tucked in a corner to be as far away from the rows of desks as possible. It looked rather spartan, having only a calendar the school passed out to all the teachers and a place to rest my laptop. My fingers rummaged through my pockets, fishing out a key that quickly disabled the lock on my file cabinet, which contained the cheap laptop supplied to us. Closing the cabinet drawer, I went through the annoying process of setting it up, not minding the second bell that rang for the day as my brain started to kick in and start to understand the messages the screen was flashing at me. Some students started talking by now, with about as much enthusiasm for the day as I was thinking, while others were already armed with their notebooks and pens with some sick want for the French Revolution so early in the morning.
It wasn’t until I scanned the class for attendance that I realized this day was going to be a lot more grueling than I was anticipating. Rising from my seat, I felt the attention of the class refocus upon me, waiting for any instruction on what to do with themselves. “Good Morning.” I didn’t even try to make that sound sincere as I headed to the board at the front of the room, picking up one various worn dry-erase markers waiting to be used for another lesson in Advanced Placement World History. I gave another look to the class as if to say “let’s get this over with” before starting my lecture.
“By 1789, the cogs were in place to start the revolution in Paris, which would eventually overthrow the absolute monarchy in France. The two notable events we shall look at today are the Tennis Court Oath and the storming of Bastille. In July of that year…” I started to tune out my own voice as I started to write a basic version of what I was saying without much of a warning, hearing the rustling of paper and scratching pens. I remember when all of this used to be interesting, seeing how the actions of the past shaped us today. But now it’s just cannon fodder, something to make parents feel like their kids are learning something most didn’t until college, which is a shame. Though my students knew it took me a bit to start up and dive into the more interesting bits of history, they still treated it all the same, striving for a letter grade rather than the actual knowledge.
The sound of the door opening and closing rather haphazardly broke me back out of my thoughts, careening my attention to the subject that leaned against the entryway, out of breath. “I’m sorry, I tried to get here as fast as I could…” The blonde offered me a sheepish smile, secretly knowing he was exempt from any sort of disapproval on my part. I felt that cough rise up again before I could think anymore on it and turned back to the board.
“It’s fine Adrian, take a seat.” I managed to get out before completing my thoughts on the board, hearing the class resume their writing as well. I couldn’t help but be slightly distracted now, having that strange feeling in my chest as I continued lecturing. I dared a look to the class, seeing Adrian digging through his bag for various materials to catch up with the rest of the class. As I tried to keep my speech on King Louis XVI coherent, I couldn’t help but be sidetracked when he played with the end of his pen in his mouth as he searched through his notebook. Oral fixation my ass, if there was a real demon in this room, it was disguised as an angel. I turned back to the board to write ‘guillotine’ before anyone could interrupt me on its spelling as I remembered a college friend’s advice against blondes, flashing a quick grin to myself before facing the class in teacher mode.
The rest of the class felt like a cross between tug-of-war and charades, losing my professional thoughts to blonde hair and blue eyes and barely keeping it covert from the host of teenagers judging me with every word and facial expression I allowed them to see. I found myself keeping the clock within my periphery and rolling up the sleeves to my button-down shirt as I finished up the lecture. The class looked either bombarded with facts or unconscious, which reminded whatever part of my brain in need of caffeine to cry for more coffee. “And that’s it for today.” I heard myself sound slightly out of breath and tried to give the best look of indifference I could muster. “Any questions?” Big mistake. I wanted to eat my words when Adrian raised his hand, the other propped up on his desk with his head resting on it, looking at me like a lion would to an antelope, a smile playing at his lips that was only meant to torture my vision. “Yes, Adrian?” Some of the class shot glares at him for prolonging the dead horse that was the beginnings of the French Revolution, and I myself almost wanted to shake my head in protest.
“I’m sorry, I think I mixed something up…” I took in a breath as he looked back down to his notes, biting down on his pen again before looking back up to continue in his tempting tenor voice. “How long after the Tennis Court Oath was Bastille stormed? A month?” He batted his eyes in faux innocence, digging his claws in and raking me in for the kill, amazing me with how a boy who barely met the half foot mark in the five feet range could intimidate a man almost a foot taller. The bell rang suddenly, the class didn’t even wait for me to answer Adrian’s question before starting to pack and leave their seats. I quickly retreated to my desk, needing to recuperate for my next class, leaning over to my laptop that apparently put itself in sleep mode along with the rest of the class during my lecture. “Mr. Kross?”
I peered over my glasses towards the origin of the voice, seeing Adrian walk over as the rest of the class escaped the cold confines of my room. He still wore a bit of that smirk, though it was turning into a smile as he approached my desk. I cast a suspicious look in his direction as his aquamarine eyes lit up when my attention focused on him. “Adrian. What can I do for you?”
I could tell he was entertaining something incriminating behind those eyes, clutching his notebook close to his chest as he dared to prolong the conversation. “I really enjoyed your lecture today.” He leaned on the desk with his hip, angling his shoulders towards me as he spoke. My eyes checked the door as my heart rate threatened to increase with the thought of someone intruding upon this scene. “But I could definitely use some help studying for the quiz on Thursday… I was hoping maybe I could meet you before then for some extra help? Maybe after school?” Adrian slowly slid himself onto my desk, watching my eyes widen in reaction to this behavior out in public.
“Adrian, I don’t think-”
Taking advantage of my position, the young blonde leaned in and grabbed the back of my head, connecting our lips together before I could pull away, or react in any sort of manner. I watched his eyes close as his mouth moved against mine, golden strands of hair pushing against my glasses along with a warm scent of vanilla brushing against my scenes. Just as I broke from the shock of the advance, his lips departed mine with a teasing tug at my bottom lip, his breath light against my skin. I thought eyes only fluttered open in cheesy romance novels, but Adrian’s blue eyes opened beneath angel’s wings before ending our moment in one sing-song line.
“And what it all comes down to… is that everything is gonna to be quite alright.”
DKross82674: So, that was just a little uncalled for.
youlearnyoucry: teehee i no u liked it, u were speechless when I left
DKross82674: It was because I didn't think you'd be so reckless. We could have been caught.
youlearnyoucry: but we didnt n thats all that matters
DKross82674: Adrian... You have no idea what you do to me.
youlearnyoucry: little ol me?
DKross82674: Yes, you. It's a trial to have you so early in the morning before I have my defenses up.
youlearnyoucry: lol could u handle me now?
DKross82674: Of course I could.
youlearnyoucry: then let me come over
DKross82674: You know that we shouldn't. It could lead to things we might regret.
youlearnyoucry: but u said u can handle me!
DKross82674: You can be very tempting Adrian. I don't want to chance it. I promised that when you turned 18 we could be alone together.
youlearnyoucry: but june is soooo far away. i want u now
DKross82674: It's for the better. We're already crossing lines, you're my student.
youlearnyoucry: im ur boyfriend
DKross82674: Adrian, don't make this harder than it already is.
youlearnyoucry: i dun understand y we cant just study together. its not like u have anyone else around
DKross82674: Still, it's against the law.
youlearnyoucry: then u dont love me
DKross82674: Adrian, don't say that. I do love you. I love you enough to wait until we can be a legal relationship.
DKross82674: Adrian?
DKross82674: Don't be mad.
youlearnyoucry: im comming over
DKross82674: Adrian, you can visit me in my room after school tomorrow, okay?
youlearnyoucry: no im comming now
DKross82674: How? You've only seen my place once.
youlearnyoucry: ill find my way somehow, ill walk it out
DKross82674: You know it's quite the walk from your house, right?
youlearnyoucry: i dont care
DKross82674: Adrian, stop it.
youlearnyoucry is not available
I didn’t think something, or someone, could make me so frantic in my entire life, with all these questions and doubts plaguing my mind whenever they decided to remind me how they’ve handcuffed themselves to my being. My eyes darted across the road and sidewalks from behind my Civics’ windshield, noting the frost collecting in the most inconvenient areas as I looked for a tuft of blonde hair trudging rebelliously through the cold weather. The voice in the back of my head kept screaming all the warnings that usually held me back, what if we were seen together, what would happen to me, my job, my reputation? But the image of Adrian succumbing to the cold as the day started to fade away trumped any thought of going to prison. My foot was jittery on the gas pedal, reminding myself that going fifty in a twenty MPH zone would draw more attention than any interaction with Adrian. I unconsciously reached to turn on the heat, but knowing the history of this car, it was more of a dice roll than anything, which seemed to be everything when you were in the teaching profession. It was nearer to his house that I saw him walking with determination, seeming to have just left his house without much thought, wearing what he came to school in. I brought the car to a stop as the window wound down, letting in a blast of cool air from the outside.
“Adrian, get in.” I called out to him, not bothering to hide the concern in my voice. He turned his attention to me, his eyes glowing in resolve.
“I’m not going home, don’t bother.” He kept walking without another word, passing my car to the direction I had some from. I fumbled to put the car in reverse, trying to keep him in the frame of the window. He tried to keep his shuddering hidden from view, his jaw moving from within his mouth in reaction to the cold weather.
“Adrian…” I huffed in defeat, putting the car in park. “Get in, I’ll take you back to my place.” Adrian’s defiant demeanor quickly changed to elation, grabbing at the door handle after I unlocked it and started winding up the window. I watched him as he buckled himself in tentatively and rubbed his arms to conjure heat before looking to me with that smile. I could only smirk back as I took the car out of park and headed back to where I lived. The car ride was both tense and simple, more so Adrian basking in his victory while I did back flips in my mind over having a minor in my house. An attractive one at that. “Did you at least bring your history book?” I knew his attentions were far from reviewing French history, but my conscious needed some reason to calm down.
“Of course, what do you take me for?” He asked, turing his attention away from outside the window to me, smiling in the corner of my vision as if I couldn’t hear it in his voice already. I kept my eyes on the road to avoid giving in anymore, knowing the boy could cause an accident if given the chance.
We rolled up to the parking lot of my apartment complex after a few minutes of driving and quickly hurried for refuge of the building, climbing up the stairs littered with various cigarettes to the second floor. “Look, you got me so worried, I forgot to lock my door.” I pulled open the door to room two-eighteen, quickly ushering Adrian in before I escaped the biting cold for the comfort of my apartment. My first impulse was to close the blinds, feeling like some child molester about to advance on my unsuspecting prey.
“Hmm, so this is what it looks like on the inside.” Adrian commented as he poked around the bookshelf in the living room, taking only momentary interest in the various paleontology books that met him eyelevel on the shelf. “Not much of a decorator, are you?” I heard him ask as I trekked to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses.
“I don’t need much, don’t get a lot of company. Want something to drink?” I asked back as I grabbed the carton of water from my fridge, my throat still feeling a bit raw from the amount of lectures I did today. His polite decline came from further in the interior of my apartment, continuing to explore the contents of my home. I left the empty glass for him on the counter as I returned the water to the fridge after I poured my own, taking gulps as I entered my living room. I spotted his discarded bag on my couch as he exited my bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest, having inspected my minimalist of a living space. “So?” I felt my eyebrow rise in question as I stood behind the couch when he started to approach me.
“I don’t know how you do it.” He shook his head as he casually flopped down on the couch, reaching for his bag and looking through it. There was this awkward silence as he did so, my brain trying to find something to say and make this process painless. “Derek?” He looked to me expectantly, his eyes pulling me in before I could tear away to stand my ground. I walked around the couch and sat next to him, placing my glass on the coffee table. I heard his bag drop to the ground before I caught him advancing to me, surprising me as he did earlier with an intense kiss. There was something sweeter about his actions, though direct, it was as if we were barely touching but sharing the passion at the same time. I felt myself give in as he tugged at the collar of my shirt, effectively pulling my larger frame on top of his, barely giving myself the chance to brace myself against the arm of the couch.
“Adrian-” I barely could annunciate his name as his light kisses seduced me into something more than physical pleasure, trying to ignore the motions his hands made with my shirt as I tried to concentrate on talking. “We can’t go too- far- Adrian, listen.” I drew back to align his eyes with mine, lightly brushing his hair out of his vision, lowering my voice to a whisper. “I don’t want you to do anything you will regret.”
“I’m almost an adult, and I haven’t done anything yet.” His words washed over me as temptation, but the seriousness of his words added an invisible weight to my body, wanting to hold him close from losing that cheerfulness he held onto. “I’ve thought about it every day since we realized what was between us. Can I trust him? Will he take care of me?” I noticed my reaction to say ‘of course I will’ in the middle of his thoughts, my own feelings betraying what I should actually do. “I’m not really sure what to do, but…” He looked over off the couch and to his bag. “I’ve had this… fantasy. For when we first… you know.” I leaned off of him as he reached towards it and grabbed a paperback book, flipping through the pages. “Don’t make fun of me.” I watched as color crept into his features as a blush before he handed the book to me, opened in the midst of the story. “Read it.” The confusion I felt tugged at my eyebrows as I looked through my glasses and to the small print of the book. Ideas inched to the forefront of my mind as I glanced at what was written on the pages.
“He lightly laid me on the bed, his smooth caresses and passionate kisses on my neck quickly obscuring any thought other than feeling his body against mine.” As I read the words, I felt his hand gingerly push me in the direction of the other end of the couch, intertwining his legs with mine as he placed his smaller body on top of me, light touches on my neck following the rhythm of my reading of the romance novel he gave me. “I didn’t resist him this time as his stripped me of the security of my shirt-” I heard the clumsy snaps of my button-down being undone, and stole a glance at the boy who so quickly put me into submission. He caught my gaze with a nervous look, lacking the usually coy attitude he used to rile me into his grasp. Looking back at the novel, I continued to read. “tossing it aside and out of reach for the night.” I felt Adrian tug at the arms of my shirt, and I complied with him taking it off as I kept reading. “All I could feel were his hands dancing across my skin, warm against the cold air that enveloped my body- Hey!” I stopped reading as I felt one of his hands flirting with my belt buckle, but couldn’t help but smirk at the odd mix of innocent deviousness he was able to pull off. “We’re not at that part yet.” Light lips claimed mine yet again after Adrian knocked the book out of my hands and redirected them onto his small build, forcing me to crumble to the desires I held secret ever since I first saw him.
“They died in the end anyway.”
youlearnyoucry: i had a fun time yesterday
DKross82674: As did I.
youlearnyoucry: i guess that means were together forever now?
DKross82674: Heh if you want it to be. Having regrets?
youlearnyoucry: not at all! i want to do it again
DKross82674: Woah there, let's take our time with this haha
youlearnyoucry: Derek?
DKross82674: Yes?
youlearnyoucry: Will we get to hold hands when im 18?
DKross82674: Maybe, if you're good.
youlearnyoucry: no teasing!
DKross82674: Haha Alright, we can. We can do anything you want.
youlearnyoucry: thank u
DKross82674: For what?
youlearnyoucry: picking me up in the cold
youlearnyoucry: and holding onto me like the world was going to end
DKross82674: You've been reading too many romance novels heh
youlearnyoucry: i feel like im in one now
youlearnyoucry: but were not going to die or anything
youlearnyoucry: do you regret what we did?
DKross82674: I regret ignoring this part of me for so long.
youlearnyoucry: its ok
youlearnyoucry: do u think well get a happily ever after?
DKross82674: Of course, if you get an A on tomorrow's quiz.
youlearnyoucry: ...
youlearnyoucry: can i come over?
Thank U
youlearnyoucry: and so i think wed be fine!
DKross82674: I don't know Adrian...
youlearnyoucry: oh come ON! how can we sit around scared all the time?
youlearnyoucry: unless its just not important enough to u
DKross82674: Don't say that. You know how I feel about this.
youlearnyoucry: only sometimes u keep things lokecd up unless i bug u
youlearnyoucry: locked*
DKross82674: I have a job to worry about.
youlearnyoucry: right, a job...
DKross82674: Look, we agreed on a day, didn't we? I'm already doing a lot I shouldn't.
youlearnyoucry: yeah...
DKross82674: I promise it'll be worth it, okay?
youlearnyoucry: ok ok but it doesnt mean i have to be happy about it
youlearnyoucry: though...
youlearnyoucry: do u think about us u no, doin it?
DKross82674: Adrian...
youlearnyoucry: lol do u?
DKross82674: What are you trying to do to me here? Haha
youlearnyoucry: LOL thats a yes!
DKross82674: Okay, so what if I do?
youlearnyoucry: ever thought about havin me on your desk? that would be hott
DKross82674: Oh god...
youlearnyoucry: doin all those things u fantasize about w/me
DKross82674: I think I need to go before this gets too serious, a man can only take so much haha
youlearnyoucry: awww and leave me alone?
DKross82674: We'll see each other tomorrow.
youlearnyoucry: Deeeeereeeek! please stay!
DKross82674: It's late Adrian
youlearnyoucry: pretty please?
DKross82674: Just for a little more.
youlearnyoucry: aw i luv u <3
DKross82674: Heh Are you sure?
youlearnyoucry: lol of course! u no, its been a month.
DKross82674: A month?
youlearnyoucry: since we started dating!
DKross82674: Oh, right, it's been a month already?
youlearnyoucry: u forgot?
youlearnyoucry: so much for being important
DKross82674: Adrian, I love you.
youlearnyoucry: ...
youlearnyoucry: u think thats goin to work?
DKross82674: I was hoping so?
youlearnyoucry: ok it did teehee <3
DKross82674: Heh I have to sleep now, we'll talk tomorrow, alright?
youlearnyoucry: o alright... dream of me, ok? <3
DKross82674: Haha Sure thing, good night Adrian.
youlearnyoucry: night night see u in class tomorrow! <3
7:26 a.m. It still bothers me that this time exists, let alone people happily embracing it. I could hear chatter in the hallway start to get louder as the building started to get more populated, competing with the gargle from the coffee machine my shadow loomed over. I watched the steam push against the pot, begging me to release it from the mechanical prison and bask in the warmth that contrasted with the rest of the room as I downed the caffeine that would be my lifeline for the rest of my day, or rather, all my days.
“Derek!” I didn’t have time to react before I recieved a few obnoxious slaps on the back, a greeting I wasn’t ready to deal with. Pushing back my black framed glasses I have become so fond of back up to their original position before the assault, I turned to a grinning man who wanted nothing more than to ‘brighten my day.’ “How’s your morning, Mr. Kross? Ready for another day of dealing with these brats?” He held his clip board nonchalantly while assertively holding his hands at his waist, wearing shorts that shouldn’t be legal on a man at that length.
“Not really.” The glorious chime from the machine finished my sentence for me, my hands quickly disarming it and liberating the pot from its heated grasp. I grabbed a cheap styrofoam cup and filled it with the dark brew that would help me get through the next seven hours. I gave the clock another glance as I replaced the pot back and risked a sip out of my cup, knowing it’d be too hot like every other day, turning away from the P.E. teacher, or coach, or whatever he wanted to call himself. There were a few others in my situation, looking to pass out on their bagels and fast food breakfast fixes before they could make it to their classrooms. It was such a miserable sight, how people lived with themselves knowing they’d be doing this for the rest of their lives was way past my comprehension. As soon as I can, I’m out of here. I don’t belong in a place like this.
“You know, I never asked…” It was too good to be true that once my coffee would be done that all my worries were over. Had it been any later, I would have at least looked at him out of politeness, though I don’t think he ever noticed my distaste for idle chit-chat. “Is there a Mrs. Kross? You never talk about that sort of thing.” I felt his eyes intrusively trying to spot a reaction, trying to pry some answer out of me for more conversation or sucker me to another inane teacher-only after school event. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, too busy with my drink and watching one of the older English teachers fall asleep in the midst of eating her McGriddle, still wrapped in her sweater to guard her from the November cold that came on strong this morning.
“No.” I heard the standoffishness in my own voice as I hoped he would stop asking questions. He gave me a puzzled look, ready to ask the why’s and how come’s. The bell rang before he could interrogate me any further, waking up the poor lady from her slumber into embarrassment, finishing up her food quickly as if there was nothing else that could make her morning worse. “I believe that’s our call.” I started towards the door before he could run anything past me, unfinished coffee still in hand as I reached for the door leading to the now crowded hallway.
“We’ll have to talk about that sometime later! Guys night out or something, you know?” He called out before I could leave. I gave him a nod as I disappeared from his sight, taking another swing of coffee. Teenagers zoomed past me as they hurried to class, trying to shrink in size whenever they passed an adult who looked like they could get them in trouble. I thought about the possibility of a ‘guy’s night out,’ imagining myself with a bunch of out of shape middle-aged men at some smelly sports bar with scantily clad waitresses serving them beer and buffalo wings. I almost winced at the image while trekking down the hall amongst high-schoolers, barely any of them dreaming of matching my height as I waded past them to my classroom. I contemplated how I could make this day go by any faster as my coffee started to disappear, unsure if I could actually make it through the day. Last night startled to trickle into thought, remembering the conversation I had with the only person who could bring me warmth more enjoyable than anything a barista could offer me. A cough rose from my lungs in reminder to not think to deeply on the matter, at least, within the confines of my job.
Reaching the familiar door that held my prison behind it, I downed the rest of my beverage before opening the door and entering, feeling the eyes of multiple demons synchronizing their vision upon me. I offered only another nod, tossing the cup into the trash by the door before crossing the room to my desk, which I had tucked in a corner to be as far away from the rows of desks as possible. It looked rather spartan, having only a calendar the school passed out to all the teachers and a place to rest my laptop. My fingers rummaged through my pockets, fishing out a key that quickly disabled the lock on my file cabinet, which contained the cheap laptop supplied to us. Closing the cabinet drawer, I went through the annoying process of setting it up, not minding the second bell that rang for the day as my brain started to kick in and start to understand the messages the screen was flashing at me. Some students started talking by now, with about as much enthusiasm for the day as I was thinking, while others were already armed with their notebooks and pens with some sick want for the French Revolution so early in the morning.
It wasn’t until I scanned the class for attendance that I realized this day was going to be a lot more grueling than I was anticipating. Rising from my seat, I felt the attention of the class refocus upon me, waiting for any instruction on what to do with themselves. “Good Morning.” I didn’t even try to make that sound sincere as I headed to the board at the front of the room, picking up one various worn dry-erase markers waiting to be used for another lesson in Advanced Placement World History. I gave another look to the class as if to say “let’s get this over with” before starting my lecture.
“By 1789, the cogs were in place to start the revolution in Paris, which would eventually overthrow the absolute monarchy in France. The two notable events we shall look at today are the Tennis Court Oath and the storming of Bastille. In July of that year…” I started to tune out my own voice as I started to write a basic version of what I was saying without much of a warning, hearing the rustling of paper and scratching pens. I remember when all of this used to be interesting, seeing how the actions of the past shaped us today. But now it’s just cannon fodder, something to make parents feel like their kids are learning something most didn’t until college, which is a shame. Though my students knew it took me a bit to start up and dive into the more interesting bits of history, they still treated it all the same, striving for a letter grade rather than the actual knowledge.
The sound of the door opening and closing rather haphazardly broke me back out of my thoughts, careening my attention to the subject that leaned against the entryway, out of breath. “I’m sorry, I tried to get here as fast as I could…” The blonde offered me a sheepish smile, secretly knowing he was exempt from any sort of disapproval on my part. I felt that cough rise up again before I could think anymore on it and turned back to the board.
“It’s fine Adrian, take a seat.” I managed to get out before completing my thoughts on the board, hearing the class resume their writing as well. I couldn’t help but be slightly distracted now, having that strange feeling in my chest as I continued lecturing. I dared a look to the class, seeing Adrian digging through his bag for various materials to catch up with the rest of the class. As I tried to keep my speech on King Louis XVI coherent, I couldn’t help but be sidetracked when he played with the end of his pen in his mouth as he searched through his notebook. Oral fixation my ass, if there was a real demon in this room, it was disguised as an angel. I turned back to the board to write ‘guillotine’ before anyone could interrupt me on its spelling as I remembered a college friend’s advice against blondes, flashing a quick grin to myself before facing the class in teacher mode.
The rest of the class felt like a cross between tug-of-war and charades, losing my professional thoughts to blonde hair and blue eyes and barely keeping it covert from the host of teenagers judging me with every word and facial expression I allowed them to see. I found myself keeping the clock within my periphery and rolling up the sleeves to my button-down shirt as I finished up the lecture. The class looked either bombarded with facts or unconscious, which reminded whatever part of my brain in need of caffeine to cry for more coffee. “And that’s it for today.” I heard myself sound slightly out of breath and tried to give the best look of indifference I could muster. “Any questions?” Big mistake. I wanted to eat my words when Adrian raised his hand, the other propped up on his desk with his head resting on it, looking at me like a lion would to an antelope, a smile playing at his lips that was only meant to torture my vision. “Yes, Adrian?” Some of the class shot glares at him for prolonging the dead horse that was the beginnings of the French Revolution, and I myself almost wanted to shake my head in protest.
“I’m sorry, I think I mixed something up…” I took in a breath as he looked back down to his notes, biting down on his pen again before looking back up to continue in his tempting tenor voice. “How long after the Tennis Court Oath was Bastille stormed? A month?” He batted his eyes in faux innocence, digging his claws in and raking me in for the kill, amazing me with how a boy who barely met the half foot mark in the five feet range could intimidate a man almost a foot taller. The bell rang suddenly, the class didn’t even wait for me to answer Adrian’s question before starting to pack and leave their seats. I quickly retreated to my desk, needing to recuperate for my next class, leaning over to my laptop that apparently put itself in sleep mode along with the rest of the class during my lecture. “Mr. Kross?”
I peered over my glasses towards the origin of the voice, seeing Adrian walk over as the rest of the class escaped the cold confines of my room. He still wore a bit of that smirk, though it was turning into a smile as he approached my desk. I cast a suspicious look in his direction as his aquamarine eyes lit up when my attention focused on him. “Adrian. What can I do for you?”
I could tell he was entertaining something incriminating behind those eyes, clutching his notebook close to his chest as he dared to prolong the conversation. “I really enjoyed your lecture today.” He leaned on the desk with his hip, angling his shoulders towards me as he spoke. My eyes checked the door as my heart rate threatened to increase with the thought of someone intruding upon this scene. “But I could definitely use some help studying for the quiz on Thursday… I was hoping maybe I could meet you before then for some extra help? Maybe after school?” Adrian slowly slid himself onto my desk, watching my eyes widen in reaction to this behavior out in public.
“Adrian, I don’t think-”
Taking advantage of my position, the young blonde leaned in and grabbed the back of my head, connecting our lips together before I could pull away, or react in any sort of manner. I watched his eyes close as his mouth moved against mine, golden strands of hair pushing against my glasses along with a warm scent of vanilla brushing against my scenes. Just as I broke from the shock of the advance, his lips departed mine with a teasing tug at my bottom lip, his breath light against my skin. I thought eyes only fluttered open in cheesy romance novels, but Adrian’s blue eyes opened beneath angel’s wings before ending our moment in one sing-song line.
“And what it all comes down to… is that everything is gonna to be quite alright.”
DKross82674: So, that was just a little uncalled for.
youlearnyoucry: teehee i no u liked it, u were speechless when I left
DKross82674: It was because I didn't think you'd be so reckless. We could have been caught.
youlearnyoucry: but we didnt n thats all that matters
DKross82674: Adrian... You have no idea what you do to me.
youlearnyoucry: little ol me?
DKross82674: Yes, you. It's a trial to have you so early in the morning before I have my defenses up.
youlearnyoucry: lol could u handle me now?
DKross82674: Of course I could.
youlearnyoucry: then let me come over
DKross82674: You know that we shouldn't. It could lead to things we might regret.
youlearnyoucry: but u said u can handle me!
DKross82674: You can be very tempting Adrian. I don't want to chance it. I promised that when you turned 18 we could be alone together.
youlearnyoucry: but june is soooo far away. i want u now
DKross82674: It's for the better. We're already crossing lines, you're my student.
youlearnyoucry: im ur boyfriend
DKross82674: Adrian, don't make this harder than it already is.
youlearnyoucry: i dun understand y we cant just study together. its not like u have anyone else around
DKross82674: Still, it's against the law.
youlearnyoucry: then u dont love me
DKross82674: Adrian, don't say that. I do love you. I love you enough to wait until we can be a legal relationship.
DKross82674: Adrian?
DKross82674: Don't be mad.
youlearnyoucry: im comming over
DKross82674: Adrian, you can visit me in my room after school tomorrow, okay?
youlearnyoucry: no im comming now
DKross82674: How? You've only seen my place once.
youlearnyoucry: ill find my way somehow, ill walk it out
DKross82674: You know it's quite the walk from your house, right?
youlearnyoucry: i dont care
DKross82674: Adrian, stop it.
youlearnyoucry is not available
I didn’t think something, or someone, could make me so frantic in my entire life, with all these questions and doubts plaguing my mind whenever they decided to remind me how they’ve handcuffed themselves to my being. My eyes darted across the road and sidewalks from behind my Civics’ windshield, noting the frost collecting in the most inconvenient areas as I looked for a tuft of blonde hair trudging rebelliously through the cold weather. The voice in the back of my head kept screaming all the warnings that usually held me back, what if we were seen together, what would happen to me, my job, my reputation? But the image of Adrian succumbing to the cold as the day started to fade away trumped any thought of going to prison. My foot was jittery on the gas pedal, reminding myself that going fifty in a twenty MPH zone would draw more attention than any interaction with Adrian. I unconsciously reached to turn on the heat, but knowing the history of this car, it was more of a dice roll than anything, which seemed to be everything when you were in the teaching profession. It was nearer to his house that I saw him walking with determination, seeming to have just left his house without much thought, wearing what he came to school in. I brought the car to a stop as the window wound down, letting in a blast of cool air from the outside.
“Adrian, get in.” I called out to him, not bothering to hide the concern in my voice. He turned his attention to me, his eyes glowing in resolve.
“I’m not going home, don’t bother.” He kept walking without another word, passing my car to the direction I had some from. I fumbled to put the car in reverse, trying to keep him in the frame of the window. He tried to keep his shuddering hidden from view, his jaw moving from within his mouth in reaction to the cold weather.
“Adrian…” I huffed in defeat, putting the car in park. “Get in, I’ll take you back to my place.” Adrian’s defiant demeanor quickly changed to elation, grabbing at the door handle after I unlocked it and started winding up the window. I watched him as he buckled himself in tentatively and rubbed his arms to conjure heat before looking to me with that smile. I could only smirk back as I took the car out of park and headed back to where I lived. The car ride was both tense and simple, more so Adrian basking in his victory while I did back flips in my mind over having a minor in my house. An attractive one at that. “Did you at least bring your history book?” I knew his attentions were far from reviewing French history, but my conscious needed some reason to calm down.
“Of course, what do you take me for?” He asked, turing his attention away from outside the window to me, smiling in the corner of my vision as if I couldn’t hear it in his voice already. I kept my eyes on the road to avoid giving in anymore, knowing the boy could cause an accident if given the chance.
We rolled up to the parking lot of my apartment complex after a few minutes of driving and quickly hurried for refuge of the building, climbing up the stairs littered with various cigarettes to the second floor. “Look, you got me so worried, I forgot to lock my door.” I pulled open the door to room two-eighteen, quickly ushering Adrian in before I escaped the biting cold for the comfort of my apartment. My first impulse was to close the blinds, feeling like some child molester about to advance on my unsuspecting prey.
“Hmm, so this is what it looks like on the inside.” Adrian commented as he poked around the bookshelf in the living room, taking only momentary interest in the various paleontology books that met him eyelevel on the shelf. “Not much of a decorator, are you?” I heard him ask as I trekked to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses.
“I don’t need much, don’t get a lot of company. Want something to drink?” I asked back as I grabbed the carton of water from my fridge, my throat still feeling a bit raw from the amount of lectures I did today. His polite decline came from further in the interior of my apartment, continuing to explore the contents of my home. I left the empty glass for him on the counter as I returned the water to the fridge after I poured my own, taking gulps as I entered my living room. I spotted his discarded bag on my couch as he exited my bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest, having inspected my minimalist of a living space. “So?” I felt my eyebrow rise in question as I stood behind the couch when he started to approach me.
“I don’t know how you do it.” He shook his head as he casually flopped down on the couch, reaching for his bag and looking through it. There was this awkward silence as he did so, my brain trying to find something to say and make this process painless. “Derek?” He looked to me expectantly, his eyes pulling me in before I could tear away to stand my ground. I walked around the couch and sat next to him, placing my glass on the coffee table. I heard his bag drop to the ground before I caught him advancing to me, surprising me as he did earlier with an intense kiss. There was something sweeter about his actions, though direct, it was as if we were barely touching but sharing the passion at the same time. I felt myself give in as he tugged at the collar of my shirt, effectively pulling my larger frame on top of his, barely giving myself the chance to brace myself against the arm of the couch.
“Adrian-” I barely could annunciate his name as his light kisses seduced me into something more than physical pleasure, trying to ignore the motions his hands made with my shirt as I tried to concentrate on talking. “We can’t go too- far- Adrian, listen.” I drew back to align his eyes with mine, lightly brushing his hair out of his vision, lowering my voice to a whisper. “I don’t want you to do anything you will regret.”
“I’m almost an adult, and I haven’t done anything yet.” His words washed over me as temptation, but the seriousness of his words added an invisible weight to my body, wanting to hold him close from losing that cheerfulness he held onto. “I’ve thought about it every day since we realized what was between us. Can I trust him? Will he take care of me?” I noticed my reaction to say ‘of course I will’ in the middle of his thoughts, my own feelings betraying what I should actually do. “I’m not really sure what to do, but…” He looked over off the couch and to his bag. “I’ve had this… fantasy. For when we first… you know.” I leaned off of him as he reached towards it and grabbed a paperback book, flipping through the pages. “Don’t make fun of me.” I watched as color crept into his features as a blush before he handed the book to me, opened in the midst of the story. “Read it.” The confusion I felt tugged at my eyebrows as I looked through my glasses and to the small print of the book. Ideas inched to the forefront of my mind as I glanced at what was written on the pages.
“He lightly laid me on the bed, his smooth caresses and passionate kisses on my neck quickly obscuring any thought other than feeling his body against mine.” As I read the words, I felt his hand gingerly push me in the direction of the other end of the couch, intertwining his legs with mine as he placed his smaller body on top of me, light touches on my neck following the rhythm of my reading of the romance novel he gave me. “I didn’t resist him this time as his stripped me of the security of my shirt-” I heard the clumsy snaps of my button-down being undone, and stole a glance at the boy who so quickly put me into submission. He caught my gaze with a nervous look, lacking the usually coy attitude he used to rile me into his grasp. Looking back at the novel, I continued to read. “tossing it aside and out of reach for the night.” I felt Adrian tug at the arms of my shirt, and I complied with him taking it off as I kept reading. “All I could feel were his hands dancing across my skin, warm against the cold air that enveloped my body- Hey!” I stopped reading as I felt one of his hands flirting with my belt buckle, but couldn’t help but smirk at the odd mix of innocent deviousness he was able to pull off. “We’re not at that part yet.” Light lips claimed mine yet again after Adrian knocked the book out of my hands and redirected them onto his small build, forcing me to crumble to the desires I held secret ever since I first saw him.
“They died in the end anyway.”
youlearnyoucry: i had a fun time yesterday
DKross82674: As did I.
youlearnyoucry: i guess that means were together forever now?
DKross82674: Heh if you want it to be. Having regrets?
youlearnyoucry: not at all! i want to do it again
DKross82674: Woah there, let's take our time with this haha
youlearnyoucry: Derek?
DKross82674: Yes?
youlearnyoucry: Will we get to hold hands when im 18?
DKross82674: Maybe, if you're good.
youlearnyoucry: no teasing!
DKross82674: Haha Alright, we can. We can do anything you want.
youlearnyoucry: thank u
DKross82674: For what?
youlearnyoucry: picking me up in the cold
youlearnyoucry: and holding onto me like the world was going to end
DKross82674: You've been reading too many romance novels heh
youlearnyoucry: i feel like im in one now
youlearnyoucry: but were not going to die or anything
youlearnyoucry: do you regret what we did?
DKross82674: I regret ignoring this part of me for so long.
youlearnyoucry: its ok
youlearnyoucry: do u think well get a happily ever after?
DKross82674: Of course, if you get an A on tomorrow's quiz.
youlearnyoucry: ...
youlearnyoucry: can i come over?