out of time
out of time
pg-13
this idea isn't mine. it came from my girlfriend, who suggested we try doing a little something with the same inspiration to see what happened. hers came first, and it's right over here with a little more insight into key's pov. my focus is on jonghyun. enjoy c:
for as long as he can remember, jonghyun’s always been this way. it’s something normal, something that’s a part of him, and something that he knows kibum isn’t willing to tolerate. he doesn’t know how they wound up in a relationship. he knows that he genuinely enjoys kibum’s company, he knows that he enjoys seeing him happy and that there’s something comforting about having him around. romantically, he knows what this is. he knows what he feels.
the problem is, it doesn’t stretch any further. and kibum’s patience is starting to wear thin.
since the first time, jonghyun has done it for kibum’s sake. he asked him on a date because of the way kibum looked at him, the way he made comments every time there was a commercial or a sign they passed that showed a couple out enjoying themselves. at the end of the night, kibum stared at him expectantly and jonghyun could see the flush on his cheeks and the hope in his eyes. so he kissed him, and he didn’t feel anything.
two years later, he still doesn’t feel anything. he can’t even count the number of kisses they’ve had and each one has been exactly the same. there are times when he feels guilty. there are times when kibum stares at him with something heavy in his eyes, panting, and jonghyun wonders what it feels like. wonders what it is that goes through his mind, because he’s never felt it. not even once.
not even when they’re on the couch and kibum is tugging jonghyun on top of him, writhing underneath him and threading fingers through his hair. he does it because kibum wants it, because by now he knows what he likes even if he can’t understand it. it does nothing for him to see the bruises he leaves on kibum’s neck, or the way he moans “jonghyun” when he climaxes, his thighs shaking and back arching in pure ecstasy.
in a way, it’s fascinating. in another, being so attached makes a small, strange part of jonghyun feel disgusted by it. it’s why he washes his hands afterwards, brushes his teeth, things that he thinks nothing of before coming back to the couch to resume watching t.v. secretly, he hopes kibum won’t ask. but he knows that he always does.
“do you want me to do anything for you? … can i?”
he used to ask it because he wanted them to be even, and jonghyun knows that. now, it’s different. it’s like he’s pleading, practically begging jonghyun for permission. jonghyun will never understand why kibum feels guilty; he doesn’t want it, and he never has.
“maybe stay the night?” he asks after a moment, because he knows kibum will want to. and he does like having him sleep next to him. it’s warm and comforting and nice. there’s silence, and so he pushes himself from the couch, deciding that maybe kibum’s hungry. maybe some dinner will brighten the mood.
“i’ll go make some dinner then.”
he always does everything for kibum’s sake, after all.
pg-13
this idea isn't mine. it came from my girlfriend, who suggested we try doing a little something with the same inspiration to see what happened. hers came first, and it's right over here with a little more insight into key's pov. my focus is on jonghyun. enjoy c:
for as long as he can remember, jonghyun’s always been this way. it’s something normal, something that’s a part of him, and something that he knows kibum isn’t willing to tolerate. he doesn’t know how they wound up in a relationship. he knows that he genuinely enjoys kibum’s company, he knows that he enjoys seeing him happy and that there’s something comforting about having him around. romantically, he knows what this is. he knows what he feels.
the problem is, it doesn’t stretch any further. and kibum’s patience is starting to wear thin.
since the first time, jonghyun has done it for kibum’s sake. he asked him on a date because of the way kibum looked at him, the way he made comments every time there was a commercial or a sign they passed that showed a couple out enjoying themselves. at the end of the night, kibum stared at him expectantly and jonghyun could see the flush on his cheeks and the hope in his eyes. so he kissed him, and he didn’t feel anything.
two years later, he still doesn’t feel anything. he can’t even count the number of kisses they’ve had and each one has been exactly the same. there are times when he feels guilty. there are times when kibum stares at him with something heavy in his eyes, panting, and jonghyun wonders what it feels like. wonders what it is that goes through his mind, because he’s never felt it. not even once.
not even when they’re on the couch and kibum is tugging jonghyun on top of him, writhing underneath him and threading fingers through his hair. he does it because kibum wants it, because by now he knows what he likes even if he can’t understand it. it does nothing for him to see the bruises he leaves on kibum’s neck, or the way he moans “jonghyun” when he climaxes, his thighs shaking and back arching in pure ecstasy.
in a way, it’s fascinating. in another, being so attached makes a small, strange part of jonghyun feel disgusted by it. it’s why he washes his hands afterwards, brushes his teeth, things that he thinks nothing of before coming back to the couch to resume watching t.v. secretly, he hopes kibum won’t ask. but he knows that he always does.
“do you want me to do anything for you? … can i?”
he used to ask it because he wanted them to be even, and jonghyun knows that. now, it’s different. it’s like he’s pleading, practically begging jonghyun for permission. jonghyun will never understand why kibum feels guilty; he doesn’t want it, and he never has.
“maybe stay the night?” he asks after a moment, because he knows kibum will want to. and he does like having him sleep next to him. it’s warm and comforting and nice. there’s silence, and so he pushes himself from the couch, deciding that maybe kibum’s hungry. maybe some dinner will brighten the mood.
“i’ll go make some dinner then.”
he always does everything for kibum’s sake, after all.