like a fire
like a fire
nc-17
kibum knows that it shouldn’t turn him on. he knows it, but that knowledge doesn’t stop it from happening. it was fine when it was just a fantasy, just a passing thought. it was his secret, imagining what it would be like, allowing his mind to run wild with thoughts and images of jonghyun underneath him. it was easy then. but when jonghyun comes back, it’s not so easy anymore.
everything he could have imagined is nothing compared to the reality of jonghyun pushing himself, looking so small and consistently out of breath. he’s still the same jonghyun, cracking jokes and touching everyone between run throughs, too ready and willing to burst with affection after being away for so long. he has the same determination as always, but kibum finds his attention catching and lingering on the smaller things. like the way his face looks thinner, his jawline somehow even more pronounced. the way that the hard, defined muscles in his arms, back, shoulders, everywhere are suddenly lacking, making him so much smaller than what kibum remembers. it’s almost unreal, the difference that just a couple of months can make. it’s as if his fantasy, his secret, has stepped into reality. he knows that he won’t be able to control himself.
the recording goes smoothly. kibum wonders if jonghyun can tell. if anyone can tell. he wonders if it’s obvious how tense he is, how he’s detaching himself from the situation just to keep control. jonghyun tries. he laughs and jokes with kibum as usual, follows him around the stage like a lost puppy and presses into him. he’s hurt when kibum doesn’t respond and its obvious, but that just makes the burning itch in his stomach flare up all over again.
on the way back to the dorm, jonghyun is exhausted. he doesn’t sit next to key on the van (on purpose, just as stubborn as ever) and once they’re inside he disappears into the bathroom to shower. by then kibum’s heart is racing because he knows. jonghyun doesn’t, but he knows. because it doesn’t matter how stubborn he is. it never matters. at the end of the night, jonghyun always ends up in his bed. it’s unavoidable.
the noise of surprise that jonghyun makes when kibum finally touches him is satisfying. almost as satisfying as how small he feels, how easily kibum’s arms slide around bare skin, the towel already threatening to slip from his waist. “yah, what is this?” jonghyun’s voice is just how he wants it to be, filled with that same cocky tease that he loves (and hates) so much. but what he loves more is the undertone, the way that it’s laced with exhaustion and shaking just barely. kibum is the only one who would ever be able to tell, and they both know it.
he doesn’t answer the question. not with words, anyway. instead he allows himself to dip his head down to the crook of jonghyun’s neck and taste the drops of water still lingering from his shower, dripping out of that silver blonde hair. fuck, it isn’t helping anything, and neither is the way that a slow shiver works its way over jonghyun’s body. kibum finds himself wondering idly if he’s found the energy to jack off in the two months he’s been away.
“yah.” this time it’s more serious, as though he’s trying to get his attention. he already has it. “hey, listen. i can’t. not yet, i-it’s too much. i’m exhausted.” his breath hitches when kibum takes skin between his teeth, ignoring him. he knows what jonghyun means and it’s not what he wants. it’s not an option anymore, and he’s not sure if it ever was.
even if he wanted to, jonghyun won’t fight him off. he can’t, and he doesn’t want to. it’s been a long time. too long for both of them, he’s sure. he knows. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s aching and his mind is practically screaming at him to sleep, because right now his body is preoccupied. right now kibum’s fingers are all over him, feeling him like he’s never touched him before. like it’s the first time, and jonghyun has no idea what he’s thinking but he knows that it can’t be a bad thing.
still, he’s confused. it doesn’t matter that he’s been away for two months. he still knows kibum better than anyone. a stretch of time like that can’t erase years of something else, and he knows that kibum is mad at him. something is off. and maybe that’s why he feels nervous, on edge, even as his body is all too willing to give itself over to whatever kibum wants from him.
“careful.” the word is slipping out before he even realizes it, his head spinning just barely and suddenly he’s on his back and kibum is above him and he’s shivering harder, unsure if it’s from the feeling or how cold he is when his towel drops to the floor, water still clinging to his skin because he wasn’t able to dry off properly. kibum just chuckles, the sound low and warm and jonghyun can feel his cock pressing into his thigh, the way the energy is practically throwing itself onto him.
“you’re an idiot.” the words are harsh, but his voice isn’t. it’s nothing more than a low murmur pressed against jonghyun’s skin between kisses, his touches completely unrelenting and everywhere. “such a fucking idiot.”
jonghyun doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t know what to say, what kibum is getting at. and he really doesn’t know why his voice, his touches, the combination of everything is driving him as insane as it is. “look at you. you’re so small jonghyun, fuck.” jonghyun’s breath is catching in his throat all over again with the way kibum’s nails catch on his inner thigh, his palm slowly rubbing up and down the length of his cock. he doesn’t remember the last time he was like this with anyone. maybe never. it’s not in his nature to be so submissive, so needy. it’s unnatural and entirely unavoidable at the same time.
kibum doesn’t seem to mind. he falls into it so easily despite the fact that they’ve never done this before. of course he does, because it’s what he wants. what he’s wanted. what he’s thought about so many fucking times and jonghyun has no idea what it’s doing to him, having this opportunity. having him so small and completely vulnerable underneath him. it’s intoxicating in the best way.
the way that jonghyun is reacting is intoxicating, and despite everything kibum is glad to have the patience at least to go slowly. he doesn’t know what jonghyun’s experience is with this. they’ve never talked about it, but he’s already breathing faster when kibum slides one finger inside and slowly works him open. he doesn’t resist it even for a moment, and something about that only makes it even better. like he’s submitting to kibum completely, the idea only making his head spin further.
it’s so much better and so much fucking worse when jonghyun starts letting out these little whimpers, bringing up one of his hands just to bite his palm and try to muffle them so the rest of the members won’t hear. kibum might have been concerned if he didn’t know it was because he was brushing his fingers right up against jonghyun’s prostate, doing it on purpose to get him ready and just to feel the way he shakes and writhes slightly under him.
he doesn’t ask him if he’s ready. he doesn’t have to. from the first second kibum pushes his cock inside jonghyun’s body it’s perfect, even more fucking perfect than he ever could have imagined. it’s unreal, how good it feels. how tiny he feels. it’s like every single one of his nerve endings is on fire, and he can’t stand it.
it’s not the kind of sex that he would have expected when jonghyun came back. it’s the opposite in almost every way possible, rushed but quiet, kibum relishing in having jonghyun all for himself like this as much as he can. he loves the change in his breathing when he starts fucking him faster, loves it when he manages to coax his hips into joining his rhythm. he can’t keep up but he tries, just like he tries to breathe. the more labored it is the more turned on kibum gets, the deeper he finds himself fucking him, moaning into jonghyun’s ear and whispering things that he can’t even think about.
jonghyun stops biting his own palm in favor of latching onto kibum’s shoulder instead, his hands coming to slide up his back and try to find some kind of something to hold onto. because it feels like kibum is ripping him apart in the best possible way, feels so unreal. like a dream. he can still feel that same energy before, can feel the way that kibum is telling him everything he needs to in the way that he’s fucking him. jonghyun feels like he’s drowning, and he can’t get enough of it.
it’s almost disappointing whenever it has to end. he can’t take it forever, and his body definitely can’t. it’s too responsive and too fucking desperate for a break at the same time, jonghyun’s breath shaking and shuddering the closer that he gets before his orgasm crashes down on him completely. his moans are more gasps of kibum’s name than anything else, the breathy sound enough to tug him down with him, and when kibum comes it isn’t soft or gentle his fingers are gripping on and around jonghyun’s hips tightly, focusing on fucking him hard and deep and thorough because fuck, he doesn’t know when he’ll get to do this again and he has to do it right. it’s more than worth it for the way that jonghyun’s voice breaks even though the soft little sounds he’s making, for the way that once he comes and everything comes back into focus jonghyun is still unable to catch his breath.
kibum takes a few long moments to look at him, making sure to take in the way that his hair is sticking to his forehead and the way that he so fucking wrecked. not the kind of wrecked that comes from the rough sex they would usually have, but with being so completely exhausted from the inside out. it’s perfect. perfect to have him here like this, even though that’s something kibum would never say out loud.
“you really are an idiot,” is what he says instead, his tone coming out flat but not entirely. jonghyun is still struggling, pushing against him somewhat but both of them know that he doesn’t mean it.
“yah.” it’s smaller this time, wavering. “shut up.” he wants to protest further but he can’t, and he thinks that’s enough anyway. it must be, because as he’s drifting back and forth between sleep and something warm and comfortable he barely feels kibum cleaning off his stomach and sliding into his spot pressed up against his side.
the last thing he hears is a contented sigh. it’s unavoidable.
alright, so i started randomly drabbling this out in the middle of lecture today and i decided i was gonna finish it and post it even if i thought it wasn't so great. just trying to keep myself from slacking. originally this was going to go in an entirely different direction, with jonghyun worshipping key's body to get back on his good side. then it was going to be raw smut because i wanted some with jonghyun being so tiny and submissive and then as i was writing it ... it changed its mind. don't worry, i have ideas for more smut in the future. let me know what you think of how this turned out? c:
nc-17
kibum knows that it shouldn’t turn him on. he knows it, but that knowledge doesn’t stop it from happening. it was fine when it was just a fantasy, just a passing thought. it was his secret, imagining what it would be like, allowing his mind to run wild with thoughts and images of jonghyun underneath him. it was easy then. but when jonghyun comes back, it’s not so easy anymore.
everything he could have imagined is nothing compared to the reality of jonghyun pushing himself, looking so small and consistently out of breath. he’s still the same jonghyun, cracking jokes and touching everyone between run throughs, too ready and willing to burst with affection after being away for so long. he has the same determination as always, but kibum finds his attention catching and lingering on the smaller things. like the way his face looks thinner, his jawline somehow even more pronounced. the way that the hard, defined muscles in his arms, back, shoulders, everywhere are suddenly lacking, making him so much smaller than what kibum remembers. it’s almost unreal, the difference that just a couple of months can make. it’s as if his fantasy, his secret, has stepped into reality. he knows that he won’t be able to control himself.
the recording goes smoothly. kibum wonders if jonghyun can tell. if anyone can tell. he wonders if it’s obvious how tense he is, how he’s detaching himself from the situation just to keep control. jonghyun tries. he laughs and jokes with kibum as usual, follows him around the stage like a lost puppy and presses into him. he’s hurt when kibum doesn’t respond and its obvious, but that just makes the burning itch in his stomach flare up all over again.
on the way back to the dorm, jonghyun is exhausted. he doesn’t sit next to key on the van (on purpose, just as stubborn as ever) and once they’re inside he disappears into the bathroom to shower. by then kibum’s heart is racing because he knows. jonghyun doesn’t, but he knows. because it doesn’t matter how stubborn he is. it never matters. at the end of the night, jonghyun always ends up in his bed. it’s unavoidable.
the noise of surprise that jonghyun makes when kibum finally touches him is satisfying. almost as satisfying as how small he feels, how easily kibum’s arms slide around bare skin, the towel already threatening to slip from his waist. “yah, what is this?” jonghyun’s voice is just how he wants it to be, filled with that same cocky tease that he loves (and hates) so much. but what he loves more is the undertone, the way that it’s laced with exhaustion and shaking just barely. kibum is the only one who would ever be able to tell, and they both know it.
he doesn’t answer the question. not with words, anyway. instead he allows himself to dip his head down to the crook of jonghyun’s neck and taste the drops of water still lingering from his shower, dripping out of that silver blonde hair. fuck, it isn’t helping anything, and neither is the way that a slow shiver works its way over jonghyun’s body. kibum finds himself wondering idly if he’s found the energy to jack off in the two months he’s been away.
“yah.” this time it’s more serious, as though he’s trying to get his attention. he already has it. “hey, listen. i can’t. not yet, i-it’s too much. i’m exhausted.” his breath hitches when kibum takes skin between his teeth, ignoring him. he knows what jonghyun means and it’s not what he wants. it’s not an option anymore, and he’s not sure if it ever was.
even if he wanted to, jonghyun won’t fight him off. he can’t, and he doesn’t want to. it’s been a long time. too long for both of them, he’s sure. he knows. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s aching and his mind is practically screaming at him to sleep, because right now his body is preoccupied. right now kibum’s fingers are all over him, feeling him like he’s never touched him before. like it’s the first time, and jonghyun has no idea what he’s thinking but he knows that it can’t be a bad thing.
still, he’s confused. it doesn’t matter that he’s been away for two months. he still knows kibum better than anyone. a stretch of time like that can’t erase years of something else, and he knows that kibum is mad at him. something is off. and maybe that’s why he feels nervous, on edge, even as his body is all too willing to give itself over to whatever kibum wants from him.
“careful.” the word is slipping out before he even realizes it, his head spinning just barely and suddenly he’s on his back and kibum is above him and he’s shivering harder, unsure if it’s from the feeling or how cold he is when his towel drops to the floor, water still clinging to his skin because he wasn’t able to dry off properly. kibum just chuckles, the sound low and warm and jonghyun can feel his cock pressing into his thigh, the way the energy is practically throwing itself onto him.
“you’re an idiot.” the words are harsh, but his voice isn’t. it’s nothing more than a low murmur pressed against jonghyun’s skin between kisses, his touches completely unrelenting and everywhere. “such a fucking idiot.”
jonghyun doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t know what to say, what kibum is getting at. and he really doesn’t know why his voice, his touches, the combination of everything is driving him as insane as it is. “look at you. you’re so small jonghyun, fuck.” jonghyun’s breath is catching in his throat all over again with the way kibum’s nails catch on his inner thigh, his palm slowly rubbing up and down the length of his cock. he doesn’t remember the last time he was like this with anyone. maybe never. it’s not in his nature to be so submissive, so needy. it’s unnatural and entirely unavoidable at the same time.
kibum doesn’t seem to mind. he falls into it so easily despite the fact that they’ve never done this before. of course he does, because it’s what he wants. what he’s wanted. what he’s thought about so many fucking times and jonghyun has no idea what it’s doing to him, having this opportunity. having him so small and completely vulnerable underneath him. it’s intoxicating in the best way.
the way that jonghyun is reacting is intoxicating, and despite everything kibum is glad to have the patience at least to go slowly. he doesn’t know what jonghyun’s experience is with this. they’ve never talked about it, but he’s already breathing faster when kibum slides one finger inside and slowly works him open. he doesn’t resist it even for a moment, and something about that only makes it even better. like he’s submitting to kibum completely, the idea only making his head spin further.
it’s so much better and so much fucking worse when jonghyun starts letting out these little whimpers, bringing up one of his hands just to bite his palm and try to muffle them so the rest of the members won’t hear. kibum might have been concerned if he didn’t know it was because he was brushing his fingers right up against jonghyun’s prostate, doing it on purpose to get him ready and just to feel the way he shakes and writhes slightly under him.
he doesn’t ask him if he’s ready. he doesn’t have to. from the first second kibum pushes his cock inside jonghyun’s body it’s perfect, even more fucking perfect than he ever could have imagined. it’s unreal, how good it feels. how tiny he feels. it’s like every single one of his nerve endings is on fire, and he can’t stand it.
it’s not the kind of sex that he would have expected when jonghyun came back. it’s the opposite in almost every way possible, rushed but quiet, kibum relishing in having jonghyun all for himself like this as much as he can. he loves the change in his breathing when he starts fucking him faster, loves it when he manages to coax his hips into joining his rhythm. he can’t keep up but he tries, just like he tries to breathe. the more labored it is the more turned on kibum gets, the deeper he finds himself fucking him, moaning into jonghyun’s ear and whispering things that he can’t even think about.
jonghyun stops biting his own palm in favor of latching onto kibum’s shoulder instead, his hands coming to slide up his back and try to find some kind of something to hold onto. because it feels like kibum is ripping him apart in the best possible way, feels so unreal. like a dream. he can still feel that same energy before, can feel the way that kibum is telling him everything he needs to in the way that he’s fucking him. jonghyun feels like he’s drowning, and he can’t get enough of it.
it’s almost disappointing whenever it has to end. he can’t take it forever, and his body definitely can’t. it’s too responsive and too fucking desperate for a break at the same time, jonghyun’s breath shaking and shuddering the closer that he gets before his orgasm crashes down on him completely. his moans are more gasps of kibum’s name than anything else, the breathy sound enough to tug him down with him, and when kibum comes it isn’t soft or gentle his fingers are gripping on and around jonghyun’s hips tightly, focusing on fucking him hard and deep and thorough because fuck, he doesn’t know when he’ll get to do this again and he has to do it right. it’s more than worth it for the way that jonghyun’s voice breaks even though the soft little sounds he’s making, for the way that once he comes and everything comes back into focus jonghyun is still unable to catch his breath.
kibum takes a few long moments to look at him, making sure to take in the way that his hair is sticking to his forehead and the way that he so fucking wrecked. not the kind of wrecked that comes from the rough sex they would usually have, but with being so completely exhausted from the inside out. it’s perfect. perfect to have him here like this, even though that’s something kibum would never say out loud.
“you really are an idiot,” is what he says instead, his tone coming out flat but not entirely. jonghyun is still struggling, pushing against him somewhat but both of them know that he doesn’t mean it.
“yah.” it’s smaller this time, wavering. “shut up.” he wants to protest further but he can’t, and he thinks that’s enough anyway. it must be, because as he’s drifting back and forth between sleep and something warm and comfortable he barely feels kibum cleaning off his stomach and sliding into his spot pressed up against his side.
the last thing he hears is a contented sigh. it’s unavoidable.
alright, so i started randomly drabbling this out in the middle of lecture today and i decided i was gonna finish it and post it even if i thought it wasn't so great. just trying to keep myself from slacking. originally this was going to go in an entirely different direction, with jonghyun worshipping key's body to get back on his good side. then it was going to be raw smut because i wanted some with jonghyun being so tiny and submissive and then as i was writing it ... it changed its mind. don't worry, i have ideas for more smut in the future. let me know what you think of how this turned out? c: