Fic: 21 | Brendon/Ryan/Spencer/Jon | NC-17
Title: 21
Author: cloviswest
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan/Spencer/Jon
Summary: "Attention" was the number one thing on Brendon's list of stuff he wanted for his birthday.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Notes: Thanks to J for the beta and C for the inspiration. I welcome all feedback, concrit included.
"Attention" was the number one thing on Brendon's list of stuff he wanted for his birthday.
"Is someone feeling lonely?" Spencer asked, blue eyes wide with faux sympathy. He patted Brendon's shoulder.
"Yes," Brendon said, because Spencer was mean, but not wrong. Anyway, if Spencer didn't want to give Brendon attention, he could also give him video games or new shoes (options two and three, respectively). Or he could try being nicer. But Brendon figured he'd probably end up with shoes.
*
Jon came up behind Brendon and slid his arms around Brendon's waist, making Brendon jump and nearly lose his balance. To be fair, that wasn't usually something that had to be preceded by surprise snuggle attacks. "I hear you're feeling lonely," Jon said into Brendon's ear.
"That's right," Brendon said, melting back into Jon's weight and letting Jon hold him up. Spencer was a dirty gossip, but Brendon wasn't going to be mad about it. "Fix it, Jon Walker."
"We will," Jon said. He kissed Brendon on the cheek, then released him.
"What?" Brendon asked.
"On your birthday," said Jon, and walked away.
Brendon frowned at his retreating back, then headed back to the lounge, where Ryan was sprawled on the couch listening to music and reading a book.
"Are you guys going to buy me a hooker for my birthday or something?" Brendon asked him.
"Not now that you've ruined the surprise," Ryan said, unfazed.
"I'm going to sit on you until you can't breathe," Brendon informed him.
Without looking up at him, Ryan said, "I know where you're ticklish."
Brendon glared at him. Ryan turned a page and continued reading.
"It better not be an ugly hooker," Brendon said finally.
"Don't worry," Ryan said, "We'll make sure you're blindfolded."
Sometimes the only thing to really do with Ryan was acknowledge that he had won and Brendon had lost. Since this occurred about eighty percent of the time - often when they weren't even playing a game, and sometimes when Ryan wasn't even actually there - Brendon knew when to cut his losses.
He sat on Ryan anyway.
Ryan tickled Brendon until he fell off the couch and bruised his knee.
*
The show went okay. Partying with his family went okay. The third beer could have gone better, since it was followed by Brendon deciding that it was too hot for a shirt and just because his whole family was there and cameras were everywhere didn't mean he should have to be overheated on his birthday. The party after the party was pretty awesome, because he found his shirt again and his family headed back to their hotel so they weren't around to watch him try and fail to wheedle anyone who would listen into letting him have twenty-one shots.
He had his hand on the one birthday cake shot the bartender would give him at a time when familiar thin fingers wrapped around his. Brendon leaned back automatically and tilted his head onto Ryan's shoulder, looking up at him. "You smell nice," Brendon said.
"Don't get drunk," Ryan said.
"But it's my birthday," Brendon said pitifully. Ryan threaded his fingers through Brendon's, carefully pushing the shot away until they were just holding hands.
"Don't get drunk," Ryan said, warmer, quieter, his breath hot against Brendon's ear.
"Okay," Brendon said. It came out a little more breathlessly than he'd intended.
Ryan grinned at him and kissed him on the cheek, then stole the shot and downed it. Brendon watched his throat work to swallow. "Okay," Ryan said.
He pulled away, and Brendon tried not to look too nakedly pining. When he turned back around, the bartender was staring.
"Another?" the bartender asked.
"Water," Brendon said.
*
The thing was, they hadn't been giving him attention. All day long they'd been busy, sure, at soundcheck, and Brendon had been with his family a lot, and Ryan and Spencer had had a radio interview to call into, and Brendon had gotten to sleep in since it was his birthday, but still, aside from happy birthdays from all of them and a birthday hug from Jon (but that wasn't special either, although of course Jon's hugs were always special - it was just that Jon gave morning hugs, and thank you for breakfast hugs, and I'm sorry I beat you at Guitar Hero hugs, and Tuesday hugs, too), there hadn't been anything, really. Spencer hadn't even gotten him shoes. As the party wound to a close, Brendon was starting to regret listening to Ryan; after all, maybe he could have found someone to take back to his hotel room with him if he had a little liquid courage, instead of ending up sober and lonely without any attention or presents.
Brendon fiddled with his last cup of water, waiting for Zack to find Spencer so he could herd all of them up to their rooms together. Jon and Ryan were in a deep discussion about something - plants? - and Brendon suspected they had smoked up at some point without him, which was even more egregious. Not only were they not giving him presents, they were practically taking them away. God, Brendon's bandmates were mean.
Brendon's moping was cut short by Zack's return with an itinerant Spencer; he tried puppy eyes on Zack, but Zack just squinted at him, clearly unable to read his mind, even after all these years. Brendon huffed and let Zack lead them to the elevators. At least they had hotel rooms. Bus call was ungodly early the next morning, but Brendon could order French fries in the middle of the night from room service if he wanted, and do cartwheels across the floor, and jump on the bed. Not that he would do any of those but the first, but hotel nights were special and he did appreciate that. He did. Also, the pay-per-view porn.
"Lobby at seven," Zack said. "Don't make me knock on the door." He gave Ryan a handful of keycards, and when Brendon held out his hand for one, Ryan just elbowed him gently aside and unlocked the nearest door.
"Um," Brendon said. He felt a hand on his back, and then Jon was pushing him in, Spencer following, and the door swung shut behind them. "A suite?" Brendon said, then closed his mouth because yes, judging by the fact that it was a suite - it was a suite. A nicer one than they usually ever got, when they didn't get separate rooms, which was most of the time. A suite with only two bedrooms off the main sitting area, as far as he could tell, so that was. That was. Huh. He looked at Ryan, who set the pile of keycards down on the side table below the mirror, where Brendon could see himself and the other three of them reflected, all looking at him.
"Happy birthday," Ryan said, and put his hands on Brendon's hips, and pushed up his shirt.
"Oh," Brendon said. He raised his arms obediently, letting Ryan take his shirt off. "But I thought," he said, his eyes on Ryan, feeling Jon and Spencer watching him too, waiting. "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore." They'd said - they'd all agreed, at the cabin, that they shouldn't, it wasn't a good idea. Even though it had felt good, like the best idea they'd ever had, really, the best since inviting Jon to join the band, the best since that one night after summer tour where they'd been stoned and easy with each other, and that was it, it was just easy, it was just right, it was just - but it ended, was what happened. And Brendon wasn't sad anymore, about it, not all the time. Just lonely sometimes.
"It's your birthday," Jon said. He cupped the back of Brendon's neck with one hand, and Brendon let his head drop, just a little, let his eyes slip shut. Jon rubbed his thumb over the hinge of Brendon's jaw, soft and reassuring.
When Ryan touched his face, it was different, the slide of silk against Brendon's cheek, one of Ryan's scarves. Brendon looked at him, and Ryan raised the scarf, letting Brendon see what he was doing, giving him time to say no before he let it settle over Brendon's eyes, soft on the rise of his cheeks, brushing his eyelashes when he blinked into the new darkness. "So it's all for you, okay?" Ryan said, and Brendon nodded. He felt Spencer behind him, taking the ends of the scarf and tying it in a firm knot. They were just shapes like this, the silhouette of Ryan in front of him, the feel of Jon and Spencer behind him.
"You can say if you want us to stop," Spencer said, close and warm against Brendon's neck, and Brendon shivered.
"Okay," Brendon said.
"Brendon," Ryan said, his voice low already, like Brendon remembered it used to get, back when - oh god, back when Ryan used to kiss him like this, sudden and fierce and hot, like all he needed right then was to climb on top of Brendon and kiss him until he couldn't breathe, hold him down and lick his way into Brendon's mouth until Brendon squirmed under him and begged Ryan to touch him more.
The force of Ryan's kiss pushed him back into Spencer, who said, "Let's get him to the bedroom," and maybe the words were normal matter-of-fact bossy Spencer, but the voice was soon-to-be-naked sexytimes Spencer, who was generally a lot less mean and a lot more hot. Ryan took his hand and tugged him forward, and Brendon let the momentum carry him too far, bumping against Ryan, nuzzling into Ryan's neck for a second until Ryan laughed softly and kissed Brendon's cheek, pushing him away. Brendon let them lead him, Ryan holding his hand, Spencer's hand on his lower back - it had to be, his hands felt different than Jon's. His fingers did, and Brendon flushed under the blindfold, remembering Jon's fingers moving inside him, how slow he always was.
"Bed," Ryan murmured, and Brendon shuffled forward enough to identify where the bed was, toed off his flip-flops and climbed on, only to be stopped by someone tugging at his belt loop. "Like this," Ryan said. Brendon felt the bed dip under Ryan's weight, and then Ryan took his wrist and dragged him close. He heard a patting sound, and paused, confused, until Ryan huffed out a laugh and pressed gently at the base of Brendon's spine until he sprawled across Ryan's lap. Ryan immediately started stroking Brendon's ass through his jeans, and Brendon wasn't complaining exactly, but what -
"Twenty-one, that's seven for each of us," Spencer said, and oh. Oh, okay. Brendon squirmed a little. Twenty-one spankings, that was kind of a lot, in Brendon's opinion. Brendon liked getting fucked, okay, he was into that, but pain had never quit been his thing. Ryan liked it pretty well, and Spencer got off on inflicting it more than any of them had expected, but both Brendon and Jon were pretty content with the basics. Spanking was. Not one of them.
"Don't worry, he'll be gentle," Jon said, a hint of warning in his tone, and Spencer sighed.
"Of course I will," he started, but Ryan must have shushed him, because the next thing he felt was Spencer petting his hair, curling his fingers behind Brendon's ear like he used to do. It felt strange, new and familiar at the same time, the feeling reduced to just that, feeling. He wriggled a little in Ryan's lap.
"Ready?" Ryan whispered, leaning in close, but Brendon didn't really get a chance to answer before Jon smacked him lightly. He could barely even feel it, really, and he knew Jon was going easy on him, knowing that Spencer would hit just a little harder than he meant to. Ryan counted off each smack, combing his fingers through Brendon's hair as Brendon breathed and took it. Spencer's hits were harder, like he'd expected, and Brendon squeezed his eyes shut and hid his face in the comforter. It wasn't a feeling he loved, each hit, but it felt good after, a slow burn over his skin, increasingly sensitive, enough to make it worth it, enough to surprise him. Still, he hesitated when Ryan said, "Pants down," didn't immediately lift his ass to let Ryan get at his fly underneath. Ryan scratched his fingernails curiously over the base of Brendon's spine, pushing just below the waist of his jeans. Brendon thought of Ryan's hands on his ass, stroking his long fingers over Brendon's cheeks before spreading him, and he swallowed and raised his ass to let Ryan get his jeans off.
It was Jon and Spencer that did it, that helped tug them down and off, climbing onto the bed with Brendon and Ryan as Ryan resituated them. Brendon felt really on display now, naked, bared to their eyes and submissive over Ryan's lap; even behind the blindfold, he still squeezed his eyes shut. He had their attention now, this was what he had wanted. Maybe this wasn't quite what he'd imagined (he'd been stoned when he'd written that list, anyway; the fourth and fifth options were teddy bears and a lifetime supply of Red Bull, and when he put down attention he'd really just meant snuggles, laughing at his jokes, playing video games with him and letting him win), but not in a bad way, just different, just. Just something he was still adjusting to, being like this again, with all of them.
"God, Brendon," Ryan said, his voice hushed, palming Brendon's ass, squeezing one cheek and then the other, just touching him like he'd forgotten what it felt like, like this was the first time. Brendon's breath was coming faster, and he was unbearably hard, his cock pushing against Ryan's through Ryan's pants as Ryan relearned him, and Brendon let himself think about it like he never did anymore. He let himself remember the real first time, how Ryan had parted his legs and pulled Brendon down on top of him, how Ryan asking to be fucked made Brendon want it too. He remembered Jon and Spencer watching, Jon sucking Ryan off after, how wrecked they'd all been from it, Ryan the worst of them. He'd thought that would be the last time, but it wasn't; he'd thought the cabin would be the last time, but it wasn't.
"Please," Brendon said, the word coming out choked, and he barely finished speaking it before Ryan's palm landed sharply on the curve of his ass. The shock made his hips jump, followed by sudden friction as his cock rubbed against Ryan's lap, and the blows came swiftly after that, covering every square inch of his bare ass until Brendon was panting against the bedcovers, squirming against Ryan. It hurt, his ass felt so hot, and he could just imagine what Jon and Spencer could see, how red his ass would be, scattered with outlines of Ryan's handprints, their marks on him, fuck, he needed, "Fuck me, please," he said. A flurry of movement followed, Ryan groaning and tugging him upward, kissing him hard and pulling him down onto the bed and over Ryan's body, Ryan reaching down and palming his cock, forcing his thighs apart so Ryan could lie between them, and then moving his legs so Brendon had to spread even wider.
Brendon didn't even want to think - he couldn't imagine how he looked, on display like that, naked and begging for cock. There were hands on him, Ryan's hands on his neck, pulling him down into a kiss, hands on his thighs, palming them, cupping his balls, rough fingers tracing over his smacked cheeks, seeking between. He felt a kiss pressed to one cheek, and one pair of hands vanished to tend to removing Ryan's pants, Brendon reaching down with shaking fingers to help unbutton Ryan's shirt. It centered him for just a moment, the focus off of him as he concentrated on feeling each button, getting Ryan's shirt open without the benefit of sight. Ryan's chest brushed his as he lifted up to shrug out of the shirt, and Brendon lowered himself down when Ryan was finished, feeling Ryan finally naked under him, hot and bare, his cock sliding against Brendon's until Brendon's hips were tugged back up into position.
Brendon almost whined, until he felt slick fingers prodding between his cheeks, the rough pad of a thumb stroking over his hole before one thick finger pushed in. That was Jon, he knew that, and the two hands spreading him open, that was Spencer, gripping him just a little too hard, reminding him of his freshly spanked ass. Jon worked in another finger, and Brendon did make a sound, a low noise that made Jon still, Ryan touch his jaw.
"Okay?" Ryan asked, and Brendon swallowed, nodded. It was just that he hadn't been with a guy since them, since any of them, it had been a long damn while and he wasn't really the type to invite girls to go there, unlike some Jon Walkers he knew. Jon seemed to get it, though, because he slowed down a little, working Brendon open with two fingers in and out until Brendon was almost completely relaxed, thrusting his cock lazily against Ryan's. Three still hurt a bit, but it was bearable, and he was already looking forward to the feel of a nice thick cock inside him.
He wondered what else was going to happen, if it was just going to be Ryan fucking him, if Jon and Spencer would suck each other off, if someone would get stuck with a lazy handjob (a risk in some of their more chemically-enhanced tumbles). Spencer's nails scratched lightly over his thighs as Ryan played idly with one of his nipples, rubbing over it before lightly flicking it. Jon said, "Me first."
Oh.
Jon first, okay, Brendon could go with that. It probably meant Spencer second and Ryan last, which was good because a guy had to be pretty relaxed and open to take all of Ryan's dick, not that Brendon was complaining, it was just that yeah, it would help to be kind of loose before. Oh god, loose, all wet and open, he remembered how much Ryan used to like that, how he would fit three or four slim fingers into Brendon's ass and fingerfuck him until Brendon begged for his dick and then he still would hold off until he was absolutely convinced Brendon was ready.
Yeah, he remembered that, and how Jon was always a very conscientious lover, and good about making sure he got off second. That was probably why he had reached for Brendon's cock already, only to get smacked away by Ryan's hand. Not that Ryan then replaced Jon's hand with his own, because he didn't, and that, Brendon thought a trifle hysterically, was probably because they didn't want him to get off until this little intra-band gangbang was finished. Oh, fuck.
"Fine, fine," Jon muttered, and there wasn't any warning as Jon pushed into him, just the thick slide of his cock into Brendon's ass, filling Brendon up.
Brendon dropped his head to Ryan's shoulder, moaning hotly against Ryan's chest and spreading his legs wider. Ryan ran a hand up his back, soothing him as Jon started to thrust.
It wasn't like he had forgotten what it was like, being fucked, but there was a difference between the memory and actually being there again, feeling it. Fucking was generally pretty fantastic, and Brendon enjoyed it a lot, but getting fucked was on a different level. Without the distraction of Jon's hand on his dick, it became apparent that Jon was a bit rough, not in a bad way, but just in a way that needed to be distracted from with a handjob. Brendon couldn't even look at anything, couldn't focus on anything but the feel of Jon's dick inside him, fucking in and out, pushing him forward onto Ryan's body.
"Hey," Ryan whispered, and tangled his fingers in Brendon's hair, pulling him down for a kiss. Brendon went willingly, opening his mouth when Ryan urged him to, letting Ryan guide the kiss, catching and releasing Ryan's mouth as Jon's thrusts pushed his body forward. It was easy like that, being pushed and pulled between them, feeling Spencer's hands stroking down his back, his ass, keeping him open for Jon until Jon finished, shoving in hard enough to make Brendon's teeth knock against Ryan's mid-kiss.
"Hey, careful with Ryan," Spencer said, and Brendon looked up sightlessly.
"Ryan?" he said, outraged, and Jon laughed behind him, pulling out and making Brendon's indignant huff dissolve into a moan.
"I meant both of you," Spencer said, which was so obviously a lie, but Brendon found it hard to be mad at someone who was about to start fucking him. What would he even do in retaliation, pull off of Spencer's dick? That sounded like a horrible plan. Besides, Spencer was really good at this, he always had been. They were rarely the first to start with each other, but Brendon always liked it when it happened, and he liked that Spencer was generally a little more laidback for the next few days after they'd fucked, more likely to indulge Brendon's cuddles and watch Brendon do a dramatic retelling of Round 384 of Zack vs. The Fangirls without getting up to leave halfway through. So this was going to be like the gift that kept on giving, really. Brendon suddenly remembered that he'd been hoping Spencer would buy him shoes. Maybe he could get Spencer to buy him shoes anyway.
"Hey," Ryan said under him, and Brendon directed his attention downward, leaning in gradually until he could feather a kiss against Ryan's cheek, easy with Spencer's slow rhythm. Spencer was never in any particular hurry when they did this, which Brendon found refreshing. "Are you gonna be okay for me?"
Brendon bit his lip, exhaling slowly. "Yeah," he said, even though it was more like a probably; he could already feel the beginning of an ache, but nothing too bad. He thought about how used he would feel when they got done with him, and groaned quietly at the thought, already looking forward to the memories. Yeah, totally the gift that kept on giving.
"Good," Ryan said, tucking Brendon's hair behind his ear. "Because I'm really looking forward to fucking you."
Brendon had to kiss him again, then. That always did it for him, Ryan talking dirty, and Ryan always knew it, knew how easily he could get Brendon going. Brendon would have accused him of using his powers for evil, but Ryan wasn't exactly a cocktease. In fact, Ryan would actually get mad if Brendon didn't rush off to hook up with him when he asked, which was why it was probably better that they had Jon and Spencer, too. Brendon wished he could see Ryan's face; sure, he could feel everything pretty clearly, Spencer fucking him, hands on his sore ass, Ryan under him, occasionally shifting his hips up to brush their cocks together, but it would have been nice to look at Ryan, too. He didn't want to ask, though. Brendon had never been the type to ask.
"Spencer," said Ryan, impatience creeping into his voice.
"This was your idea, Ryan," Spencer told him, and Brendon was gratified to hear at least some exertion there, because he sure felt like he was getting worked over. Ryan's hand crept over his shoulder, and he felt Ryan and Spencer link their hands together. A few moments later, Spencer shuddered and stilled. Brendon slumped down onto Ryan. Ryan exhaled and ran his knuckles down Brendon's spine.
The calm didn't last. Beneath him, Brendon could feel Ryan shaking, and he was already thrusting his hips up slightly, sliding his cock against Brendon's as Spencer carefully pulled out and flopped onto the bed beside them.
"Let me," Ryan said. Brendon swallowed, already knowing he'd let Ryan do anything he wanted. "Brendon, let me up," he said, voice raw, and Brendon felt his heart stop for just a moment. Ryan just rolled them over, though, as soon as Brendon let him, and Brendon ended up on his back, staring up at nothing with Ryan between his legs. Ryan's hands were on his thighs, and on his back like this Brendon was again aware of the burn from being spanked, from being fucked. "Brendon," Ryan said again, rubbing the head of his cock against Brendon's hole, raw and stretched and wet now, and even after Jon and Spencer he'd never felt more ready to be fucked in his life.
"Now, please," Brendon begged, and Ryan pushed in.
It hurt. Even now Ryan was still a lot to take, and Brendon had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. Ryan took Brendon's cock in his fist and started stroking and Brendon's hips bucked, letting Ryan push even deeper.
"Hey, it's okay," Jon said quietly, near enough to Brendon's ear to startle him a bit, making Jon chuckle. "Scream if you need to, there's no one here but us."
"And an entire hotel full of people," Spencer said.
"Thank you, Spencer," Ryan said, and Brendon choked on a laugh, but stopped muffling the noises he wanted to make. Every thrust made him moan out loud, and he let himself, reaching out blindly to touch Ryan, to touch anyone. He curled his fingers around Ryan's, clenching his own thigh, and suddenly Jon and Spencer were touching him too, Jon nuzzling his shoulder, Spencer tweaking a nipple, and finally both slipping down his stomach, Jon kissing and Spencer biting at his skin until they met over his cock. "You can take the blindfold off," Ryan told him, and Brendon did just in time to see Jon and Spencer tongue at the head of his cock.
Brendon made a helpless, incoherent noise as Spencer took his cock in, letting the motion of Ryan pounding him work Brendon's cock into his mouth as Jon licked at his balls. Frankly, Brendon was impressed at himself for lasting more than six seconds with all of that going on. Ryan pushed in deep and stayed, and Brendon gave it all up, trying to push back onto Ryan as he thrust up into Spencer's mouth and mostly just succeeding in coming hard enough to make Spencer choke.
Ryan came laughing at Spencer's misfortune.
Spencer sputtered, "Dude." He had some of Brendon's come on his chin.
"Nngh," Brendon said, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. Ryan pulled out and nudged Jon and Spencer out of the way enough to drape himself across Brendon's prone body. Brendon summoned up enough air for a happy sigh.
"Happy birthday to you," Jon sang.
*
"So, what did you all get me for birthday?" Brendon asked the next day, or technically the next afternoon, after they'd all stumbled blearily back to the bus to head to Arizona and Brendon had taken an epic nap.
"Shoes," Spencer said, gesturing toward a bag next to the couch.
"Awesome," Brendon said fervently.
"Video games," said Jon, pointing to a tell-tale rectangular package wrapped in Sunday comics.
"Yay!" Brendon threw his arms around Jon's neck.
"Um," said Ryan. He glanced down at his lap. Brendon followed his gaze, but he didn't see anything except for the usual vaguely threatening bulge of Ryan's monster cock, so unless he was hiding some kind of jewelry in his pockets Brendon was about to be indignant.
"Ryan," Jon said seriously, "you should at least put it in a box first." After a beat of silence, he and Spencer launched into a heartfelt rendition of Dick in a Box that lasted long past Ryan having fled in embarrassment with Brendon following after him.
"Hey." Brendon patted Ryan on the shoulder, squeezing tight enough to stop Ryan from making it into his bunk where he clearly planned to hide. "I was just kidding, I really liked it. Yesterday, I mean. Doing that again."
"Me too," Ryan said. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Brendon told him.
"Yeah?" Ryan looked up at Brendon through his eyelashes, and Brendon felt his heart stutter, just a bit. "I was thinking. It could kind of be like, an ongoing present. If you want. Well, just me."
"Just you?" Brendon asked. "Like just you and me?"
"Yeah." Ryan inhaled, but didn't appear to exhale.
Brendon kissed him full on the mouth.
"Jon, Spencer!" he shouted when he finally pulled away, leaving Ryan looking stunned. He grabbed Ryan's hand and lead him back out toward the front of the bus. "Ryan got me the best present!"
Spencer said, "You haven't even seen the shoes!"
Author: cloviswest
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan/Spencer/Jon
Summary: "Attention" was the number one thing on Brendon's list of stuff he wanted for his birthday.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Notes: Thanks to J for the beta and C for the inspiration. I welcome all feedback, concrit included.
"Attention" was the number one thing on Brendon's list of stuff he wanted for his birthday.
"Is someone feeling lonely?" Spencer asked, blue eyes wide with faux sympathy. He patted Brendon's shoulder.
"Yes," Brendon said, because Spencer was mean, but not wrong. Anyway, if Spencer didn't want to give Brendon attention, he could also give him video games or new shoes (options two and three, respectively). Or he could try being nicer. But Brendon figured he'd probably end up with shoes.
*
Jon came up behind Brendon and slid his arms around Brendon's waist, making Brendon jump and nearly lose his balance. To be fair, that wasn't usually something that had to be preceded by surprise snuggle attacks. "I hear you're feeling lonely," Jon said into Brendon's ear.
"That's right," Brendon said, melting back into Jon's weight and letting Jon hold him up. Spencer was a dirty gossip, but Brendon wasn't going to be mad about it. "Fix it, Jon Walker."
"We will," Jon said. He kissed Brendon on the cheek, then released him.
"What?" Brendon asked.
"On your birthday," said Jon, and walked away.
Brendon frowned at his retreating back, then headed back to the lounge, where Ryan was sprawled on the couch listening to music and reading a book.
"Are you guys going to buy me a hooker for my birthday or something?" Brendon asked him.
"Not now that you've ruined the surprise," Ryan said, unfazed.
"I'm going to sit on you until you can't breathe," Brendon informed him.
Without looking up at him, Ryan said, "I know where you're ticklish."
Brendon glared at him. Ryan turned a page and continued reading.
"It better not be an ugly hooker," Brendon said finally.
"Don't worry," Ryan said, "We'll make sure you're blindfolded."
Sometimes the only thing to really do with Ryan was acknowledge that he had won and Brendon had lost. Since this occurred about eighty percent of the time - often when they weren't even playing a game, and sometimes when Ryan wasn't even actually there - Brendon knew when to cut his losses.
He sat on Ryan anyway.
Ryan tickled Brendon until he fell off the couch and bruised his knee.
*
The show went okay. Partying with his family went okay. The third beer could have gone better, since it was followed by Brendon deciding that it was too hot for a shirt and just because his whole family was there and cameras were everywhere didn't mean he should have to be overheated on his birthday. The party after the party was pretty awesome, because he found his shirt again and his family headed back to their hotel so they weren't around to watch him try and fail to wheedle anyone who would listen into letting him have twenty-one shots.
He had his hand on the one birthday cake shot the bartender would give him at a time when familiar thin fingers wrapped around his. Brendon leaned back automatically and tilted his head onto Ryan's shoulder, looking up at him. "You smell nice," Brendon said.
"Don't get drunk," Ryan said.
"But it's my birthday," Brendon said pitifully. Ryan threaded his fingers through Brendon's, carefully pushing the shot away until they were just holding hands.
"Don't get drunk," Ryan said, warmer, quieter, his breath hot against Brendon's ear.
"Okay," Brendon said. It came out a little more breathlessly than he'd intended.
Ryan grinned at him and kissed him on the cheek, then stole the shot and downed it. Brendon watched his throat work to swallow. "Okay," Ryan said.
He pulled away, and Brendon tried not to look too nakedly pining. When he turned back around, the bartender was staring.
"Another?" the bartender asked.
"Water," Brendon said.
*
The thing was, they hadn't been giving him attention. All day long they'd been busy, sure, at soundcheck, and Brendon had been with his family a lot, and Ryan and Spencer had had a radio interview to call into, and Brendon had gotten to sleep in since it was his birthday, but still, aside from happy birthdays from all of them and a birthday hug from Jon (but that wasn't special either, although of course Jon's hugs were always special - it was just that Jon gave morning hugs, and thank you for breakfast hugs, and I'm sorry I beat you at Guitar Hero hugs, and Tuesday hugs, too), there hadn't been anything, really. Spencer hadn't even gotten him shoes. As the party wound to a close, Brendon was starting to regret listening to Ryan; after all, maybe he could have found someone to take back to his hotel room with him if he had a little liquid courage, instead of ending up sober and lonely without any attention or presents.
Brendon fiddled with his last cup of water, waiting for Zack to find Spencer so he could herd all of them up to their rooms together. Jon and Ryan were in a deep discussion about something - plants? - and Brendon suspected they had smoked up at some point without him, which was even more egregious. Not only were they not giving him presents, they were practically taking them away. God, Brendon's bandmates were mean.
Brendon's moping was cut short by Zack's return with an itinerant Spencer; he tried puppy eyes on Zack, but Zack just squinted at him, clearly unable to read his mind, even after all these years. Brendon huffed and let Zack lead them to the elevators. At least they had hotel rooms. Bus call was ungodly early the next morning, but Brendon could order French fries in the middle of the night from room service if he wanted, and do cartwheels across the floor, and jump on the bed. Not that he would do any of those but the first, but hotel nights were special and he did appreciate that. He did. Also, the pay-per-view porn.
"Lobby at seven," Zack said. "Don't make me knock on the door." He gave Ryan a handful of keycards, and when Brendon held out his hand for one, Ryan just elbowed him gently aside and unlocked the nearest door.
"Um," Brendon said. He felt a hand on his back, and then Jon was pushing him in, Spencer following, and the door swung shut behind them. "A suite?" Brendon said, then closed his mouth because yes, judging by the fact that it was a suite - it was a suite. A nicer one than they usually ever got, when they didn't get separate rooms, which was most of the time. A suite with only two bedrooms off the main sitting area, as far as he could tell, so that was. That was. Huh. He looked at Ryan, who set the pile of keycards down on the side table below the mirror, where Brendon could see himself and the other three of them reflected, all looking at him.
"Happy birthday," Ryan said, and put his hands on Brendon's hips, and pushed up his shirt.
"Oh," Brendon said. He raised his arms obediently, letting Ryan take his shirt off. "But I thought," he said, his eyes on Ryan, feeling Jon and Spencer watching him too, waiting. "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore." They'd said - they'd all agreed, at the cabin, that they shouldn't, it wasn't a good idea. Even though it had felt good, like the best idea they'd ever had, really, the best since inviting Jon to join the band, the best since that one night after summer tour where they'd been stoned and easy with each other, and that was it, it was just easy, it was just right, it was just - but it ended, was what happened. And Brendon wasn't sad anymore, about it, not all the time. Just lonely sometimes.
"It's your birthday," Jon said. He cupped the back of Brendon's neck with one hand, and Brendon let his head drop, just a little, let his eyes slip shut. Jon rubbed his thumb over the hinge of Brendon's jaw, soft and reassuring.
When Ryan touched his face, it was different, the slide of silk against Brendon's cheek, one of Ryan's scarves. Brendon looked at him, and Ryan raised the scarf, letting Brendon see what he was doing, giving him time to say no before he let it settle over Brendon's eyes, soft on the rise of his cheeks, brushing his eyelashes when he blinked into the new darkness. "So it's all for you, okay?" Ryan said, and Brendon nodded. He felt Spencer behind him, taking the ends of the scarf and tying it in a firm knot. They were just shapes like this, the silhouette of Ryan in front of him, the feel of Jon and Spencer behind him.
"You can say if you want us to stop," Spencer said, close and warm against Brendon's neck, and Brendon shivered.
"Okay," Brendon said.
"Brendon," Ryan said, his voice low already, like Brendon remembered it used to get, back when - oh god, back when Ryan used to kiss him like this, sudden and fierce and hot, like all he needed right then was to climb on top of Brendon and kiss him until he couldn't breathe, hold him down and lick his way into Brendon's mouth until Brendon squirmed under him and begged Ryan to touch him more.
The force of Ryan's kiss pushed him back into Spencer, who said, "Let's get him to the bedroom," and maybe the words were normal matter-of-fact bossy Spencer, but the voice was soon-to-be-naked sexytimes Spencer, who was generally a lot less mean and a lot more hot. Ryan took his hand and tugged him forward, and Brendon let the momentum carry him too far, bumping against Ryan, nuzzling into Ryan's neck for a second until Ryan laughed softly and kissed Brendon's cheek, pushing him away. Brendon let them lead him, Ryan holding his hand, Spencer's hand on his lower back - it had to be, his hands felt different than Jon's. His fingers did, and Brendon flushed under the blindfold, remembering Jon's fingers moving inside him, how slow he always was.
"Bed," Ryan murmured, and Brendon shuffled forward enough to identify where the bed was, toed off his flip-flops and climbed on, only to be stopped by someone tugging at his belt loop. "Like this," Ryan said. Brendon felt the bed dip under Ryan's weight, and then Ryan took his wrist and dragged him close. He heard a patting sound, and paused, confused, until Ryan huffed out a laugh and pressed gently at the base of Brendon's spine until he sprawled across Ryan's lap. Ryan immediately started stroking Brendon's ass through his jeans, and Brendon wasn't complaining exactly, but what -
"Twenty-one, that's seven for each of us," Spencer said, and oh. Oh, okay. Brendon squirmed a little. Twenty-one spankings, that was kind of a lot, in Brendon's opinion. Brendon liked getting fucked, okay, he was into that, but pain had never quit been his thing. Ryan liked it pretty well, and Spencer got off on inflicting it more than any of them had expected, but both Brendon and Jon were pretty content with the basics. Spanking was. Not one of them.
"Don't worry, he'll be gentle," Jon said, a hint of warning in his tone, and Spencer sighed.
"Of course I will," he started, but Ryan must have shushed him, because the next thing he felt was Spencer petting his hair, curling his fingers behind Brendon's ear like he used to do. It felt strange, new and familiar at the same time, the feeling reduced to just that, feeling. He wriggled a little in Ryan's lap.
"Ready?" Ryan whispered, leaning in close, but Brendon didn't really get a chance to answer before Jon smacked him lightly. He could barely even feel it, really, and he knew Jon was going easy on him, knowing that Spencer would hit just a little harder than he meant to. Ryan counted off each smack, combing his fingers through Brendon's hair as Brendon breathed and took it. Spencer's hits were harder, like he'd expected, and Brendon squeezed his eyes shut and hid his face in the comforter. It wasn't a feeling he loved, each hit, but it felt good after, a slow burn over his skin, increasingly sensitive, enough to make it worth it, enough to surprise him. Still, he hesitated when Ryan said, "Pants down," didn't immediately lift his ass to let Ryan get at his fly underneath. Ryan scratched his fingernails curiously over the base of Brendon's spine, pushing just below the waist of his jeans. Brendon thought of Ryan's hands on his ass, stroking his long fingers over Brendon's cheeks before spreading him, and he swallowed and raised his ass to let Ryan get his jeans off.
It was Jon and Spencer that did it, that helped tug them down and off, climbing onto the bed with Brendon and Ryan as Ryan resituated them. Brendon felt really on display now, naked, bared to their eyes and submissive over Ryan's lap; even behind the blindfold, he still squeezed his eyes shut. He had their attention now, this was what he had wanted. Maybe this wasn't quite what he'd imagined (he'd been stoned when he'd written that list, anyway; the fourth and fifth options were teddy bears and a lifetime supply of Red Bull, and when he put down attention he'd really just meant snuggles, laughing at his jokes, playing video games with him and letting him win), but not in a bad way, just different, just. Just something he was still adjusting to, being like this again, with all of them.
"God, Brendon," Ryan said, his voice hushed, palming Brendon's ass, squeezing one cheek and then the other, just touching him like he'd forgotten what it felt like, like this was the first time. Brendon's breath was coming faster, and he was unbearably hard, his cock pushing against Ryan's through Ryan's pants as Ryan relearned him, and Brendon let himself think about it like he never did anymore. He let himself remember the real first time, how Ryan had parted his legs and pulled Brendon down on top of him, how Ryan asking to be fucked made Brendon want it too. He remembered Jon and Spencer watching, Jon sucking Ryan off after, how wrecked they'd all been from it, Ryan the worst of them. He'd thought that would be the last time, but it wasn't; he'd thought the cabin would be the last time, but it wasn't.
"Please," Brendon said, the word coming out choked, and he barely finished speaking it before Ryan's palm landed sharply on the curve of his ass. The shock made his hips jump, followed by sudden friction as his cock rubbed against Ryan's lap, and the blows came swiftly after that, covering every square inch of his bare ass until Brendon was panting against the bedcovers, squirming against Ryan. It hurt, his ass felt so hot, and he could just imagine what Jon and Spencer could see, how red his ass would be, scattered with outlines of Ryan's handprints, their marks on him, fuck, he needed, "Fuck me, please," he said. A flurry of movement followed, Ryan groaning and tugging him upward, kissing him hard and pulling him down onto the bed and over Ryan's body, Ryan reaching down and palming his cock, forcing his thighs apart so Ryan could lie between them, and then moving his legs so Brendon had to spread even wider.
Brendon didn't even want to think - he couldn't imagine how he looked, on display like that, naked and begging for cock. There were hands on him, Ryan's hands on his neck, pulling him down into a kiss, hands on his thighs, palming them, cupping his balls, rough fingers tracing over his smacked cheeks, seeking between. He felt a kiss pressed to one cheek, and one pair of hands vanished to tend to removing Ryan's pants, Brendon reaching down with shaking fingers to help unbutton Ryan's shirt. It centered him for just a moment, the focus off of him as he concentrated on feeling each button, getting Ryan's shirt open without the benefit of sight. Ryan's chest brushed his as he lifted up to shrug out of the shirt, and Brendon lowered himself down when Ryan was finished, feeling Ryan finally naked under him, hot and bare, his cock sliding against Brendon's until Brendon's hips were tugged back up into position.
Brendon almost whined, until he felt slick fingers prodding between his cheeks, the rough pad of a thumb stroking over his hole before one thick finger pushed in. That was Jon, he knew that, and the two hands spreading him open, that was Spencer, gripping him just a little too hard, reminding him of his freshly spanked ass. Jon worked in another finger, and Brendon did make a sound, a low noise that made Jon still, Ryan touch his jaw.
"Okay?" Ryan asked, and Brendon swallowed, nodded. It was just that he hadn't been with a guy since them, since any of them, it had been a long damn while and he wasn't really the type to invite girls to go there, unlike some Jon Walkers he knew. Jon seemed to get it, though, because he slowed down a little, working Brendon open with two fingers in and out until Brendon was almost completely relaxed, thrusting his cock lazily against Ryan's. Three still hurt a bit, but it was bearable, and he was already looking forward to the feel of a nice thick cock inside him.
He wondered what else was going to happen, if it was just going to be Ryan fucking him, if Jon and Spencer would suck each other off, if someone would get stuck with a lazy handjob (a risk in some of their more chemically-enhanced tumbles). Spencer's nails scratched lightly over his thighs as Ryan played idly with one of his nipples, rubbing over it before lightly flicking it. Jon said, "Me first."
Oh.
Jon first, okay, Brendon could go with that. It probably meant Spencer second and Ryan last, which was good because a guy had to be pretty relaxed and open to take all of Ryan's dick, not that Brendon was complaining, it was just that yeah, it would help to be kind of loose before. Oh god, loose, all wet and open, he remembered how much Ryan used to like that, how he would fit three or four slim fingers into Brendon's ass and fingerfuck him until Brendon begged for his dick and then he still would hold off until he was absolutely convinced Brendon was ready.
Yeah, he remembered that, and how Jon was always a very conscientious lover, and good about making sure he got off second. That was probably why he had reached for Brendon's cock already, only to get smacked away by Ryan's hand. Not that Ryan then replaced Jon's hand with his own, because he didn't, and that, Brendon thought a trifle hysterically, was probably because they didn't want him to get off until this little intra-band gangbang was finished. Oh, fuck.
"Fine, fine," Jon muttered, and there wasn't any warning as Jon pushed into him, just the thick slide of his cock into Brendon's ass, filling Brendon up.
Brendon dropped his head to Ryan's shoulder, moaning hotly against Ryan's chest and spreading his legs wider. Ryan ran a hand up his back, soothing him as Jon started to thrust.
It wasn't like he had forgotten what it was like, being fucked, but there was a difference between the memory and actually being there again, feeling it. Fucking was generally pretty fantastic, and Brendon enjoyed it a lot, but getting fucked was on a different level. Without the distraction of Jon's hand on his dick, it became apparent that Jon was a bit rough, not in a bad way, but just in a way that needed to be distracted from with a handjob. Brendon couldn't even look at anything, couldn't focus on anything but the feel of Jon's dick inside him, fucking in and out, pushing him forward onto Ryan's body.
"Hey," Ryan whispered, and tangled his fingers in Brendon's hair, pulling him down for a kiss. Brendon went willingly, opening his mouth when Ryan urged him to, letting Ryan guide the kiss, catching and releasing Ryan's mouth as Jon's thrusts pushed his body forward. It was easy like that, being pushed and pulled between them, feeling Spencer's hands stroking down his back, his ass, keeping him open for Jon until Jon finished, shoving in hard enough to make Brendon's teeth knock against Ryan's mid-kiss.
"Hey, careful with Ryan," Spencer said, and Brendon looked up sightlessly.
"Ryan?" he said, outraged, and Jon laughed behind him, pulling out and making Brendon's indignant huff dissolve into a moan.
"I meant both of you," Spencer said, which was so obviously a lie, but Brendon found it hard to be mad at someone who was about to start fucking him. What would he even do in retaliation, pull off of Spencer's dick? That sounded like a horrible plan. Besides, Spencer was really good at this, he always had been. They were rarely the first to start with each other, but Brendon always liked it when it happened, and he liked that Spencer was generally a little more laidback for the next few days after they'd fucked, more likely to indulge Brendon's cuddles and watch Brendon do a dramatic retelling of Round 384 of Zack vs. The Fangirls without getting up to leave halfway through. So this was going to be like the gift that kept on giving, really. Brendon suddenly remembered that he'd been hoping Spencer would buy him shoes. Maybe he could get Spencer to buy him shoes anyway.
"Hey," Ryan said under him, and Brendon directed his attention downward, leaning in gradually until he could feather a kiss against Ryan's cheek, easy with Spencer's slow rhythm. Spencer was never in any particular hurry when they did this, which Brendon found refreshing. "Are you gonna be okay for me?"
Brendon bit his lip, exhaling slowly. "Yeah," he said, even though it was more like a probably; he could already feel the beginning of an ache, but nothing too bad. He thought about how used he would feel when they got done with him, and groaned quietly at the thought, already looking forward to the memories. Yeah, totally the gift that kept on giving.
"Good," Ryan said, tucking Brendon's hair behind his ear. "Because I'm really looking forward to fucking you."
Brendon had to kiss him again, then. That always did it for him, Ryan talking dirty, and Ryan always knew it, knew how easily he could get Brendon going. Brendon would have accused him of using his powers for evil, but Ryan wasn't exactly a cocktease. In fact, Ryan would actually get mad if Brendon didn't rush off to hook up with him when he asked, which was why it was probably better that they had Jon and Spencer, too. Brendon wished he could see Ryan's face; sure, he could feel everything pretty clearly, Spencer fucking him, hands on his sore ass, Ryan under him, occasionally shifting his hips up to brush their cocks together, but it would have been nice to look at Ryan, too. He didn't want to ask, though. Brendon had never been the type to ask.
"Spencer," said Ryan, impatience creeping into his voice.
"This was your idea, Ryan," Spencer told him, and Brendon was gratified to hear at least some exertion there, because he sure felt like he was getting worked over. Ryan's hand crept over his shoulder, and he felt Ryan and Spencer link their hands together. A few moments later, Spencer shuddered and stilled. Brendon slumped down onto Ryan. Ryan exhaled and ran his knuckles down Brendon's spine.
The calm didn't last. Beneath him, Brendon could feel Ryan shaking, and he was already thrusting his hips up slightly, sliding his cock against Brendon's as Spencer carefully pulled out and flopped onto the bed beside them.
"Let me," Ryan said. Brendon swallowed, already knowing he'd let Ryan do anything he wanted. "Brendon, let me up," he said, voice raw, and Brendon felt his heart stop for just a moment. Ryan just rolled them over, though, as soon as Brendon let him, and Brendon ended up on his back, staring up at nothing with Ryan between his legs. Ryan's hands were on his thighs, and on his back like this Brendon was again aware of the burn from being spanked, from being fucked. "Brendon," Ryan said again, rubbing the head of his cock against Brendon's hole, raw and stretched and wet now, and even after Jon and Spencer he'd never felt more ready to be fucked in his life.
"Now, please," Brendon begged, and Ryan pushed in.
It hurt. Even now Ryan was still a lot to take, and Brendon had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. Ryan took Brendon's cock in his fist and started stroking and Brendon's hips bucked, letting Ryan push even deeper.
"Hey, it's okay," Jon said quietly, near enough to Brendon's ear to startle him a bit, making Jon chuckle. "Scream if you need to, there's no one here but us."
"And an entire hotel full of people," Spencer said.
"Thank you, Spencer," Ryan said, and Brendon choked on a laugh, but stopped muffling the noises he wanted to make. Every thrust made him moan out loud, and he let himself, reaching out blindly to touch Ryan, to touch anyone. He curled his fingers around Ryan's, clenching his own thigh, and suddenly Jon and Spencer were touching him too, Jon nuzzling his shoulder, Spencer tweaking a nipple, and finally both slipping down his stomach, Jon kissing and Spencer biting at his skin until they met over his cock. "You can take the blindfold off," Ryan told him, and Brendon did just in time to see Jon and Spencer tongue at the head of his cock.
Brendon made a helpless, incoherent noise as Spencer took his cock in, letting the motion of Ryan pounding him work Brendon's cock into his mouth as Jon licked at his balls. Frankly, Brendon was impressed at himself for lasting more than six seconds with all of that going on. Ryan pushed in deep and stayed, and Brendon gave it all up, trying to push back onto Ryan as he thrust up into Spencer's mouth and mostly just succeeding in coming hard enough to make Spencer choke.
Ryan came laughing at Spencer's misfortune.
Spencer sputtered, "Dude." He had some of Brendon's come on his chin.
"Nngh," Brendon said, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. Ryan pulled out and nudged Jon and Spencer out of the way enough to drape himself across Brendon's prone body. Brendon summoned up enough air for a happy sigh.
"Happy birthday to you," Jon sang.
*
"So, what did you all get me for birthday?" Brendon asked the next day, or technically the next afternoon, after they'd all stumbled blearily back to the bus to head to Arizona and Brendon had taken an epic nap.
"Shoes," Spencer said, gesturing toward a bag next to the couch.
"Awesome," Brendon said fervently.
"Video games," said Jon, pointing to a tell-tale rectangular package wrapped in Sunday comics.
"Yay!" Brendon threw his arms around Jon's neck.
"Um," said Ryan. He glanced down at his lap. Brendon followed his gaze, but he didn't see anything except for the usual vaguely threatening bulge of Ryan's monster cock, so unless he was hiding some kind of jewelry in his pockets Brendon was about to be indignant.
"Ryan," Jon said seriously, "you should at least put it in a box first." After a beat of silence, he and Spencer launched into a heartfelt rendition of Dick in a Box that lasted long past Ryan having fled in embarrassment with Brendon following after him.
"Hey." Brendon patted Ryan on the shoulder, squeezing tight enough to stop Ryan from making it into his bunk where he clearly planned to hide. "I was just kidding, I really liked it. Yesterday, I mean. Doing that again."
"Me too," Ryan said. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Brendon told him.
"Yeah?" Ryan looked up at Brendon through his eyelashes, and Brendon felt his heart stutter, just a bit. "I was thinking. It could kind of be like, an ongoing present. If you want. Well, just me."
"Just you?" Brendon asked. "Like just you and me?"
"Yeah." Ryan inhaled, but didn't appear to exhale.
Brendon kissed him full on the mouth.
"Jon, Spencer!" he shouted when he finally pulled away, leaving Ryan looking stunned. He grabbed Ryan's hand and lead him back out toward the front of the bus. "Ryan got me the best present!"
Spencer said, "You haven't even seen the shoes!"