Somewhere, beyond the sea (somewhere, that's sparkle free)
Title:Somewhere, beyond the sea (somewhere, that's sparkle free)
Characters: SHINee, Narsha (BEG), Heechul cameos
Rating: PG for language
Genre: Humour, crack!fail
Pairing: Onew x Taemin, Jongkey if you squint really, really hard
Summary: Mermaid!Au (idek, I fail at this XD), I decided to write something more lighthearted than Zombie!fic and so... Jinki is onto Taemin and his evil plan for ocean-domination.
1.
“That’s it,” hisses Jinki, or Onew as he is known in his small circle of friends, “He’s doing it again.”
He watches the young merman currently twirling around in the most adorable way as he chases a school of fish. Jinki is certain that he’s a spy-why else is he always hanging around the Royal household? The Royal Prince, youngest member of the (mainly female) royal family, Kim Kibum aka Key, Diva extraordinaire, stares dumfounded from where he’s combing his silky tresses with a crab.
“What?”
Jinki wriggles closer, trying not to scrape his scales on the sharp pieces of designer coral Kibum had ordered from the Great Barrier Reef. He gestured wildly to the window.
“That, he’s doing it again, what do I do?”
Kibum sighs and releases the crab.
“What thing?” He checks his sea snail mail, flipping through the large pile disinterestedly. Party invite, party invite, baby shower, free samples (he was going to kill Jonghyun for subscribing him to Menopausal Mermaids), party invite, party invite, letter from his dearest, darlingest, and terribly in denial cousin Jaebum, some sheet about royal duties, party invite. Jinki can’t believe that at this time of great need, Kibum is more interested in what type of seaweed possesses more moisturizing benefits. Outside, the boy lets out a happy squeak and from nowhere, a pod of dolphins appears. They engage in a disgustingly cute game of tag.
“I told you, that flippy thing with his tail, where he flip-flops it and twirls and giggles and sparkles!” He looks at Kibum, hoping that he’d be able to understand something connected to his deep belief in sparkle motion. Kibum swims over to the window, purses his lips. There’s a group of mer-men swimming around outside-nothing unusual. There’s some gangly mer-kid (Taemin?) chasing after fish with a shaggy mop of brown hair that Kibum is dying to cut-quite cute, he thinks-but other than that he doesn’t see what Jinki’s talking about. And Jinki’s been talking about this for ages. Perhaps I should suggest Father moves Jinki out of the Royal Mews, he thinks, squirting a little squid ink onto his hair, I think he’d been kicked in the head too many times. Maybe getting him to neuter that great white was a bad idea.
“I don’t see it,” he says finally, “Have you been breathing oxygen again? I told you Jinki, oxygen poisons the mind, look what it did to Jonghyun! Irreversible mental damage-he’s going to be stunted both physically and intellectually for the rest of his life.” Kibum sniffs disdainfully.
Jinki’s mouth drops and a school of plankton swim in. He gags and spews them out onto Kibum’s bed. Silence fills the royal bedchamber and Jinki gulps, hand still cleaning out his mouth.
“Breathe,” mutters Kibum, tail flicking dangerously from side to side, “He can’t help it, you can help him. You were put on this Ocean to help lost cases.”
“I’m sorry Kibum!” says Jinki, backpedalling into his vanity dresser with extreme speed. Little bottles of perfume float down, as if in slo-mo, shattering into thousands of delicate glass and shell pieces, their contents spreading through the room. Kibum’s eye twitches and his hand is moving dangerously close to his trident (Jinki trembles, he’d thought the King had banned him from using that since…last time). Kibum’s hand reaches his trident. Jinki screams.
Later, when Minho unlocks him from the deepest, darkest jail in the coldest, deadliest part of the Kingdom -Jinki was this close to being mer-handled by a crab that just wouldn’t.stop.clicking-and Jonghyun takes a brief break from laughing at him, all he can say is,
“He was doing that flippy-flippy sparkle thing.”
2.
Back in the cave he shares with Minho, he sets about moping. Kibum has banned him from entering his chamber and refused to hear him out when he tried to approach the Prince-“Come near me and I blast your fins off you fishing sea slug, you clumsy son-of-a-squid!”-and most of the Royal Court now thought he was crazy.
“Why don’t you believe me?” he whines to Minho, forgetting he’s the older one, therefore supposedly more mature.
“Perhaps if you explain this ‘flippy flippy’ thing we-Kibum, might err…Understand what you’re worried about,” says Minho, polishing his helmet.
“You know; that thing he does when he moves! From the minute I saw him Minho, he sparkled in this ungodly way and not in the way Kibum sparkles! And not because the light catches his perfectly symmetrical aquamarine tail or scales!”
“…Right.” Minho nods encouragingly, give Jinki his ranting time and he’ll run out of steam eventually. If that doesn’t work he’ll slip away and go shark hunting. Taemin’s been wanting good shark’s fin for a while.
“He’s obviously a spy, how else do you explain why everyone likes him? Kibum learnt his name after a week, a week Minho, it took Kibum a year to remember mine. And-and-I wasn’t that popular when I arrived! The Oracle was the only one who spoke to me!”
Minho chooses not to tell Jinki that the Oracle has been dead for three centuries and that it was Jonghyun playing a trick on him, hiding behind the massive structure of the dead clam. He doesn’t think his hyung could take the revelation.
“Hyung, Taemin”
“Don’t say his name,” hisses Jinki, looking cautiously around the room. He edges closer and catches his fin in the rock, pitching forward. He gets back up, swims closer, “I think he’s bugged this room.”
“Maybe if you talked to him”
Jinki shakes his head, mouth flapping open as he tries to form a coherent sentence. Outside, Jonghyun is singing to his sea-snake Petunia.
“I can’t Minho; I don’t want to get dazzled like everyone else. Promise me you’ll stay away from him.”
Minho gives a reassuring smile.
“Sure hyung. Um…Now, can you stop nailing the door shut-I’m going hunting.”
Jinki looks up, sheepish. He stops hammering shells into the door. The hermit crab he’d been using as a hammer looks immensely relieved and clips his fingers as it swims away, eyes smug as the mer-man lets out a sob. Minho slips out, closing the door gently behind him. He smiles fondly at the memory of Taemin, who had presented him with freshly baked crab-cakes earlier today. The younger boy had eyes as big as turtle shells and had looked up from under his over-grown bangs. The inner girl within had wanted to squeal and rub his head, but Minho kept his manly cool. As Royal Hunter, he had an image to maintain.
“Hyung, are you going hunting?” asked Taemin.
Minho nodded. Taemin’s eyes became half moons and he clasped his hands in front of him, bobbing up and down. Silently the Hunter admired the pretty colour of his fins and the way they sparkled in the light.
“Do you think you could catch a shark this time? Umma’s been sick,” his fin drew small circles in the sand, “And shark’s fin is supposed to help.” He looked up hopefully, biting his lip.
OhdeargodtoocuteofcourseIwill, thought Minho.
“Sure,” he said, nodding once more. Taemin beamed, causing surrounding squids to release ink simultaneously, blinding a passing Jonghyun; the mer-man vanished in a cloud of ink and fell down into the abyss. Minho didn’t notice.
“Thanks hyung!” His smile…Was so…Dazzling…Taemin waved goodbye and disappeared in the direction of the palace. Minho raised a hand, placing it over his heart. Damn.
“He did it didn’t he? He got you too!” wails Jinki, when he catches Minho cutting off the shark’s fin.
“His mother’s sick,” says Minho, “I’m just being a good friend.”
Jinki almost has a heart attack.
“Friend? You’re friends?! No…No…I need to warn Kibum and Jonghyun!” He swims off, faster than Minho’s ever seen him swim. The younger mer-man watches as various structures come toppling down in his wake, shakes his head and Jinki lets out a multitude of pained sounds. I think Taemin wanted this shark’s fin for dinner, he thinks absentmindedly. He throws in a couple pearls for good measure. And then the rest of the shark.
3.
Jonghyun watches as Jinki babbles on about ‘sparkle motion’ and ‘dazzling’ at light speed.
“I’m telling you Jonghyun, he got to Minho! Minho never, gives up a prize shark’s fin. Ever.”
Jinki’s eyes are bugging out of their sockets and he’s got dark shadows. Jonghyun’s a little freaked out at the moment.
“So…You think this is all a plan to get Kibum? Because we all know every stalker and suitor who’s tried to kidnap/molest/rape him has had their tails blown off, and not just by Kibum.”
Jonghyun shudders at the memory of Narsha-noona collecting the remains of suitor/stalker #2387 into a jar whilst cackling and singing to herself.
“Do you love meeeee? Do you love meeee?” she’d crowed at Jonghyun, curling one long fingernail at him. Jonghyun swore Kibum’s whole family was a bunch of psychopaths. Except maybe Jaebum-hyung, he could relate to Jaebum-hyung.
“Jonghyun,” said Jinki, looking extremely serious, “I think he’s bewitching everyone so he can take over the Kingdom. He’s getting close to everyone close to the royal family.”
“Get out of here,” said Jonghyun, “Kid seems harmless enough.”
Jinki’s face turned from @o@ to 0__0. A small current passed through.
“He talked to Heechul.”
“What? Heechul’s not mute, nobody in Kibum’s family is!”
Jonghyun honestly did not see the problem.
“It’s Heechul, he doesn’t speak willingly to anyone but his family, Siwon and that foreign guard,” said Jinki, “He even gave him cookies.”
Jonghyun waved a hand dismissively.
“Ok, but the guy’s got a few screws loose, major mood-swings,”
Like Kibum, he thinks sourly
“But have you any other proof?”
Jinki nods, leaning forward on the table.
“You know Bessie?”
Jonghyun is surprised.
“You mean Kibum’s large mutant stingray he feeds shark-flakes? Yeah, it tried to sting me last time I sang ‘You ain’t nothing but a stingray’ to it.”
Jinki’s voice turns grave.
“Well, Bessie let him pet him. He even let him ride him! Don’t you see Jonghyun; we have to stop him from bewitching everyone!”
Jonghyun is impressed, very impressed. He wonders if Taemin will show him how to ride Bessie too. Jinki’s face turns red at his slight smile and he coughs, turning that smile into a frown.
“So Taemin”
“DON’T SAY HIS NAME!”
“…This kid, he does a ‘flippy flippy thing’ and dazzles everyone into liking him so he can take over the Kingdom right?”
Jinki nods, thankful that someone is finally getting it. He’s spent the last three hours explaining his whole conspiracy theory and breakdown of the ‘flippy flippy thing’ as best as he can, and as slowly as he can to Jonghyun. Poor boy, he’d been born near land.
“So...I just have to avoid talking to him?”
“And looking him in the eye. Face. Anywhere on his whole sparkly body.”
Jonghyun sighs in relief, “Cool.”
Jinki leaves a while later-“I’m going to distribute flyers!”-and Jonghyun settles back, practicing the National Anthem. He moves on to other classics like ‘Under the Sea’, ‘I’ll go swimming’ and ‘Coral fields forever’ when a movement out of the corner of his eye causes him to stop. The figure tries to duck, but their brown hair floats above the windowsill.
“Hey, who’s there?” asks Jonghyun, deepening his voice. Wow, he thinks, my first fangirl.
Two gooey brown eyes, deep like the lava pits, stare up at him.
“I’m sorry, I was passing by and I heard you singing…” A lower lip wibbles.
“That’s ok!” He says it with a bit too much gusto, “Why don’t you come in and listen properly?”
“Really?” says his new-found fan. Jonghyun can’t quite tell at this point whether it’s a girl or boy-he’s betting girl-but it doesn’t really matter, someone appreciates his singing. Ten minutes later he’s told the kid everything he knows about the palace, Kibum, Jinki, Minho, and is singing another soulful rendition of ‘I’ve got you, under my scales’ when he realizes he doesn’t know the kid’s name.
“Taemin,” says the kid, gummy smile and shiny teeth. His scales glitter in the fading light and his fins shift between aquamarine and turquoise.
Damn, it’s a boy, thinks Jonghyun.
4.
“Kibum, Kibum, he got to Jonghyun too!” cries Jinki, pounding the bed, “Please, we don’t have much time; I think he’s onto me!”
“Uh huh,” says Kibum, applying more eye-liner, “Damnit, I’m almost out of ink…SLAVE I NEED MORE INK!”
The lobster snaps to attention and scuttles away.
“He’s everywhere I go Kibum, in the Mews, outside my house, at the market! I was at the public bath-house and someone starts scrubbing my fins and it’s him! You guys are the only ones who know about my,” he shivers, “weakness to fin-scrubbing. I barely made it out alive.”
“So he rubbed you the right way,” says Kibum, snickering at Jinki’s flushed face, “And he charmed Minho and praised that big-headed sea slug Jonghyun. I don’t think he’s after the Kingdom, Jinki, he’s not stalking me. And I’m the most stalkerable person in this whole Ocean.”
“He’s getting to you through us, through your family! He even got to Heechul,” says Jinki, eyes roaming around to check for bugs. The room seemed safe…But he knew better. He clutched the can of sea-salt spray close to his chest. Kibum rolls his eyes.
“You’re such a drama queen.”
Jinki can’t believe what he’s hearing, but for the sake of the Kingdom and everyone’s sanity, he must persevere. Kibum will thank him later.
“I’m telling you; don’t look him in the eyes! I’ve already distributed flyers warning everyone.”
I know, thinks Kibum darkly, Father had a fit about the increase in pollution and I had to sort it out
“He always smiles at me in this knowing way; he’s evil Kibum, pure, evil! I swear; he must’ve been human in a past life!”
Kibum gasps at the H-word. Jinki’s actually serious about this…
“I think you’re making a volcano out of a mud-pit. I also think you’re heavily in denial.”
Jinki’s heart shatters into millions of tiny pieces; his last remaining hope, Kibum, doesn’t believe him and what is he in denial about?
“Please, Kibum, beware of the sparkle-sparkle and flippy-flippy!”
Kibum smiles benevolently, as a future ruler should, and then points to the door.
“Get out, I’m busy. Send me a snail if you’ve recovered later.”
As Jinki is escorted out of the door, a familiar flash of aquamarine strikes him and he grips the nearest doorway.
“Come in~” sings Kibum from inside his room, “You look so cute today!”
“Hello!” chirps the spawn-of-evil, blinking and showing all his teeth (I bet he was a fisherman, thinks Jinki bitterly), “Want to try a cookie?” He offers a plate of freshly baked sea-cucumber cookies, garnished with mackerel. My favourite, thinks Jinki, the horror of it all sinking it.
“Get away from me, spy!” he cries, swimming as fast as he can backwards, bumping into numerous artifacts Kibum has collected over the years. The one Jonghyun found-“It’s a dildo, I heard the humans say it’s for pleasure *perverted grin*”-bumps him on the head and he screams, zooming away from he-who-must-not-be-named and Kibum.
5.
“Hyung,”
“Don’t talk to me.”
Jinki cowers under his blankets, a make-shift fort of rocks and shells standing between him and Minho. Strings of rotting seaweed and sea anemones hang from the roof of the cave with ancient incantations written all over the walls. Minho sighs and removes the octopus from his head, releasing it back outside. He clicks his tongue; he’s got suction-cup marks all over his forehead.
“I’ve been talking with the others,”
“Words of madness; wait, put that octopus back on!”
“-and we all decided this is ridiculous and Kibum can’t keep distracting the King from locking you up,”
“That’s exactly what he wants, don’t try to deny it!”
“And for your own good,”
“I was only looking out for you all!” wails Jinki.
“I think you should admit there is no ‘flippy-flippy thing’ before Kibum tridents you up the tail-fin”
“NEVER!”
“-and just admit you like him.”
“…What?” Jinki is worried at how depraved and bewitched Minho has become, how far he’s fallen under that thing’s dazzling spell. Perhaps tonight he could pack his belongings and travel far away, to the next Kingdom, where he doesn’t have to worry about sparkle motion and ‘flippy flippy’ tail motions; no happy, gummy smiles and moon-like eyes.
“You like him, L.I.K.E,” drawls Jonghyun, munching a cookie. Jinki’s eyes widen-poisoned cookies of doom!
“Don’t eat those!”
“Why? They’re good, wanna try?” asks Jonghyun in a sing-song voice, dangling one before his face, “Taemin (I know, don’t say his name, geez hyung, I’m not stupid) said you ran away earlier.”
“He’s probably put a potion in there! To bewitch you all and take over!” Jinki grabs the cookies and destroys it, smashing the tiny crumbs for good measure. His heart gives a little tweak of sadness at the waste of food, but he brushes it away.
“You’re such a little mer-girl,” sniffs Kibum, “You really hurt his feelings. All he’s ever done is be nice to you and you act like a raving lunatic. I don’t even know why I picked you as my charity case when clearly, you’re too far gone.”
He signals; Minho and Jonghyun coming over to grab his arms. Jinki grabs his bed, holds on for dear life.
“You won’t take me too!” he squeals, flapping his tail wildly, but alas, in vain. The duo drags him outside.
“Now listen,” snaps Kibum, “You’ve already screwed up but thankfully I’m such a nice person I’m going to help you. So don’t mess this up.” He glares at Jinki, who flinches. From around the corner he can see someone approaching.
“NOOOOOO,” he screams. Wordlessly, Minho stuffs a sponge into his mouth.
“You called for me, hyung?”
Kibum coos and glides over to hug the evil one.
“Jinki,” he gives said mer-man a hard look, “Wanted to apologize for earlier. And everything else.”
He leads the evil one over to Jinki, still trying to get the sponge out. Minho and Jonghyun release his arms and flit away to join Kibum, watching him. Jinki is pretty sure this is all part of some voodoo spell and the sponge is a gateway to the human world or something, and that he’s going to be possessed and turned into the worst of the worst-a salesman. The very thought alone makes him want to cry. He searches for possible escape routes-Kibum smiles in a threatening way and points at his trident. He gulps, trying not to swallow bits of sponge.
“Need help?” asks the evil one, taking the sponge out. Jinki tries not to flinch and looks at his fins, no, I can see his fins! Must avoid the sparkle!
‘Say sorry,’ mouths Jonghyun, ‘Just say it and Kibum won’t nag!’
Minho nods in agreement.
“Sorry,” mumbles Jinki, feeling the end closing in on him. He’s lost the energy to fight and would like to die in one piece. He avoids looking at the other, intent on keeping his mind as long as he can.
“I made those cookies for you, you know?” says the evil one softly, “Minho-hyung told me you liked them.”
Minho, my dear old friend, how could you? Sobs Jinki in his mind, you have doomed us all
“Um,” he replies, folding his hands.
“Have I done something wrong to upset you, I-I-I-don’t know, you always avoid me and I even scrubbed your tailfins and you swam away,” his voice trembles, shaking like boats in a tsunami, “I even trained Bessie so we, you, could ride him.”
Must…Not…Give in to cute voice…Stay…Strong Jinki!
“Sorry,” he mumbles again, “I didn’t know.”
“You don’t know anything,” scoffs Kibum, trying to keep quiet and failing.
“I really like you hyung,” says the evil one and what? Jinki makes the mistake of looking up and oh. The younger one’s eyes are watery, his cheeks are flushed and his hands are clenched by his sides. The light is really setting off his scales, which is not helping Jinki’s predicament. His hair floats like a halo around his small face. “Really, really like you.”
He looks up and sparkle motion be damned, Jinki falls.
“ASKDFJGKAJHGD,” he says.
“The fish?” says Jonghyun, “What the fish did he say?”
“Hyung…You’ve got sponge still in your mouth,” says Minho. Kibum facepalms.
Taemin smiles shyly.
“Let me?”
Jinki freezes, watching as Taemin closes in, reaches into his mouth to pull a tiny bit of sponge out. He’s lost the ability to speak, a funny tingling making its way from his tail to his heart. His tongue flicks out, touching one finger and Taemin goes pink.
“Thanks?” he manages to say, “And…Um, I think, I really…Um, emotionally-not to say physically you’re aren’t a fine specimen!-err, like…”
“JUST KISS ALREADY!” orders Kibum, waving his trident, little sparks shooting out. Jinki ‘eeps’, Kibum is way too trigger happy.
“Ok hyung!” says Taemin and suddenly he’s pressing against Jinki and his heart is pumping more water than is necessary and his tail is flapping happily and there are millions of sparkles everywhere. Taemin’s eyes are closed as he pulls away, bobbing up and down before Jinki, who raises who hand to his lips, touching them.
“Noob,” snorts Jonghyun, “I should’ve found another dildo thing for him.”
“Sparkle!” exclaims Jinki, “Sparkle-sparkle!”
“What?” exclaim Kibum and Jonghyun. Minho gets it.
“You’re doing it, the flippy-flippy thing and the sparkle-sparkle.”
“What?” asks Taemin, pouting, and it’s the most adorable thing Jinki’s ever seen and he wants it all for himself.
“Do it again,” he says, “Please?”
The smile he receives could light up the whole ocean. The sparkles he sees afterwards dazzle him for a very, very long time. In the background, Kibum cheers and Jonghyun starts singing ‘My heart will go on’. Minho smiles and thanks Poseidon they didn’t have to strap Jinki to a rock as Kibum originally planned. Jinki might’ve passed out from that one.
Taemin’s hands are holding Jinki’s shoulders whilst his hands are wrapped around Taemin’s thin waist. The younger mer-man brings their bodies together, wrapping his tail around Jinki’s. His tail-fin sneaks up, then down, stroking Jinki’s scales. It gives him a happy feeling and he’s pretty sure Taemin knows. Taemin pulls back, mouth red, stars in his eyes. His voice is breathy and in his eyes, Jinki can see his own reflection.
“Get a room,” crows Jonghyun.
“Stop speaking aloud,” says Minho, “It’s hard enough trying to sleep with Jonghyun in the same room.”
Jinki doesn’t hear them, doesn’t see them at that moment.
“Hey,” whispers Taemin, still on a high. His eye crinkle up in undeniable mischief and his tail-fin stops stroking Jinki’s.
Jinki whines at the loss of contact.
“Hyung,” says Taemin, voice dropping even lower, husky, “If we go to the bath-house I’ll wipe your tail-fin for you.”
And just because he’s just that nice, Kibum buys the bath-house for them.
A/N: I've been all serious (OK, not that serious) with zombies and then I thought, "Hey, nobody's done mermaids before (I think?), OOoh, Taemin would make an awesome mermaid." First time writing OnewxTaemin-it was going to be Onhyun or Onkey but oh well 8D. I will update zombie!fic soon though! Comments/constructivecritiscism is appreciated and loved!
Characters: SHINee, Narsha (BEG), Heechul cameos
Rating: PG for language
Genre: Humour, crack!fail
Pairing: Onew x Taemin, Jongkey if you squint really, really hard
Summary: Mermaid!Au (idek, I fail at this XD), I decided to write something more lighthearted than Zombie!fic and so... Jinki is onto Taemin and his evil plan for ocean-domination.
1.
“That’s it,” hisses Jinki, or Onew as he is known in his small circle of friends, “He’s doing it again.”
He watches the young merman currently twirling around in the most adorable way as he chases a school of fish. Jinki is certain that he’s a spy-why else is he always hanging around the Royal household? The Royal Prince, youngest member of the (mainly female) royal family, Kim Kibum aka Key, Diva extraordinaire, stares dumfounded from where he’s combing his silky tresses with a crab.
“What?”
Jinki wriggles closer, trying not to scrape his scales on the sharp pieces of designer coral Kibum had ordered from the Great Barrier Reef. He gestured wildly to the window.
“That, he’s doing it again, what do I do?”
Kibum sighs and releases the crab.
“What thing?” He checks his sea snail mail, flipping through the large pile disinterestedly. Party invite, party invite, baby shower, free samples (he was going to kill Jonghyun for subscribing him to Menopausal Mermaids), party invite, party invite, letter from his dearest, darlingest, and terribly in denial cousin Jaebum, some sheet about royal duties, party invite. Jinki can’t believe that at this time of great need, Kibum is more interested in what type of seaweed possesses more moisturizing benefits. Outside, the boy lets out a happy squeak and from nowhere, a pod of dolphins appears. They engage in a disgustingly cute game of tag.
“I told you, that flippy thing with his tail, where he flip-flops it and twirls and giggles and sparkles!” He looks at Kibum, hoping that he’d be able to understand something connected to his deep belief in sparkle motion. Kibum swims over to the window, purses his lips. There’s a group of mer-men swimming around outside-nothing unusual. There’s some gangly mer-kid (Taemin?) chasing after fish with a shaggy mop of brown hair that Kibum is dying to cut-quite cute, he thinks-but other than that he doesn’t see what Jinki’s talking about. And Jinki’s been talking about this for ages. Perhaps I should suggest Father moves Jinki out of the Royal Mews, he thinks, squirting a little squid ink onto his hair, I think he’d been kicked in the head too many times. Maybe getting him to neuter that great white was a bad idea.
“I don’t see it,” he says finally, “Have you been breathing oxygen again? I told you Jinki, oxygen poisons the mind, look what it did to Jonghyun! Irreversible mental damage-he’s going to be stunted both physically and intellectually for the rest of his life.” Kibum sniffs disdainfully.
Jinki’s mouth drops and a school of plankton swim in. He gags and spews them out onto Kibum’s bed. Silence fills the royal bedchamber and Jinki gulps, hand still cleaning out his mouth.
“Breathe,” mutters Kibum, tail flicking dangerously from side to side, “He can’t help it, you can help him. You were put on this Ocean to help lost cases.”
“I’m sorry Kibum!” says Jinki, backpedalling into his vanity dresser with extreme speed. Little bottles of perfume float down, as if in slo-mo, shattering into thousands of delicate glass and shell pieces, their contents spreading through the room. Kibum’s eye twitches and his hand is moving dangerously close to his trident (Jinki trembles, he’d thought the King had banned him from using that since…last time). Kibum’s hand reaches his trident. Jinki screams.
Later, when Minho unlocks him from the deepest, darkest jail in the coldest, deadliest part of the Kingdom -Jinki was this close to being mer-handled by a crab that just wouldn’t.stop.clicking-and Jonghyun takes a brief break from laughing at him, all he can say is,
“He was doing that flippy-flippy sparkle thing.”
2.
Back in the cave he shares with Minho, he sets about moping. Kibum has banned him from entering his chamber and refused to hear him out when he tried to approach the Prince-“Come near me and I blast your fins off you fishing sea slug, you clumsy son-of-a-squid!”-and most of the Royal Court now thought he was crazy.
“Why don’t you believe me?” he whines to Minho, forgetting he’s the older one, therefore supposedly more mature.
“Perhaps if you explain this ‘flippy flippy’ thing we-Kibum, might err…Understand what you’re worried about,” says Minho, polishing his helmet.
“You know; that thing he does when he moves! From the minute I saw him Minho, he sparkled in this ungodly way and not in the way Kibum sparkles! And not because the light catches his perfectly symmetrical aquamarine tail or scales!”
“…Right.” Minho nods encouragingly, give Jinki his ranting time and he’ll run out of steam eventually. If that doesn’t work he’ll slip away and go shark hunting. Taemin’s been wanting good shark’s fin for a while.
“He’s obviously a spy, how else do you explain why everyone likes him? Kibum learnt his name after a week, a week Minho, it took Kibum a year to remember mine. And-and-I wasn’t that popular when I arrived! The Oracle was the only one who spoke to me!”
Minho chooses not to tell Jinki that the Oracle has been dead for three centuries and that it was Jonghyun playing a trick on him, hiding behind the massive structure of the dead clam. He doesn’t think his hyung could take the revelation.
“Hyung, Taemin”
“Don’t say his name,” hisses Jinki, looking cautiously around the room. He edges closer and catches his fin in the rock, pitching forward. He gets back up, swims closer, “I think he’s bugged this room.”
“Maybe if you talked to him”
Jinki shakes his head, mouth flapping open as he tries to form a coherent sentence. Outside, Jonghyun is singing to his sea-snake Petunia.
“I can’t Minho; I don’t want to get dazzled like everyone else. Promise me you’ll stay away from him.”
Minho gives a reassuring smile.
“Sure hyung. Um…Now, can you stop nailing the door shut-I’m going hunting.”
Jinki looks up, sheepish. He stops hammering shells into the door. The hermit crab he’d been using as a hammer looks immensely relieved and clips his fingers as it swims away, eyes smug as the mer-man lets out a sob. Minho slips out, closing the door gently behind him. He smiles fondly at the memory of Taemin, who had presented him with freshly baked crab-cakes earlier today. The younger boy had eyes as big as turtle shells and had looked up from under his over-grown bangs. The inner girl within had wanted to squeal and rub his head, but Minho kept his manly cool. As Royal Hunter, he had an image to maintain.
“Hyung, are you going hunting?” asked Taemin.
Minho nodded. Taemin’s eyes became half moons and he clasped his hands in front of him, bobbing up and down. Silently the Hunter admired the pretty colour of his fins and the way they sparkled in the light.
“Do you think you could catch a shark this time? Umma’s been sick,” his fin drew small circles in the sand, “And shark’s fin is supposed to help.” He looked up hopefully, biting his lip.
OhdeargodtoocuteofcourseIwill, thought Minho.
“Sure,” he said, nodding once more. Taemin beamed, causing surrounding squids to release ink simultaneously, blinding a passing Jonghyun; the mer-man vanished in a cloud of ink and fell down into the abyss. Minho didn’t notice.
“Thanks hyung!” His smile…Was so…Dazzling…Taemin waved goodbye and disappeared in the direction of the palace. Minho raised a hand, placing it over his heart. Damn.
“He did it didn’t he? He got you too!” wails Jinki, when he catches Minho cutting off the shark’s fin.
“His mother’s sick,” says Minho, “I’m just being a good friend.”
Jinki almost has a heart attack.
“Friend? You’re friends?! No…No…I need to warn Kibum and Jonghyun!” He swims off, faster than Minho’s ever seen him swim. The younger mer-man watches as various structures come toppling down in his wake, shakes his head and Jinki lets out a multitude of pained sounds. I think Taemin wanted this shark’s fin for dinner, he thinks absentmindedly. He throws in a couple pearls for good measure. And then the rest of the shark.
3.
Jonghyun watches as Jinki babbles on about ‘sparkle motion’ and ‘dazzling’ at light speed.
“I’m telling you Jonghyun, he got to Minho! Minho never, gives up a prize shark’s fin. Ever.”
Jinki’s eyes are bugging out of their sockets and he’s got dark shadows. Jonghyun’s a little freaked out at the moment.
“So…You think this is all a plan to get Kibum? Because we all know every stalker and suitor who’s tried to kidnap/molest/rape him has had their tails blown off, and not just by Kibum.”
Jonghyun shudders at the memory of Narsha-noona collecting the remains of suitor/stalker #2387 into a jar whilst cackling and singing to herself.
“Do you love meeeee? Do you love meeee?” she’d crowed at Jonghyun, curling one long fingernail at him. Jonghyun swore Kibum’s whole family was a bunch of psychopaths. Except maybe Jaebum-hyung, he could relate to Jaebum-hyung.
“Jonghyun,” said Jinki, looking extremely serious, “I think he’s bewitching everyone so he can take over the Kingdom. He’s getting close to everyone close to the royal family.”
“Get out of here,” said Jonghyun, “Kid seems harmless enough.”
Jinki’s face turned from @o@ to 0__0. A small current passed through.
“He talked to Heechul.”
“What? Heechul’s not mute, nobody in Kibum’s family is!”
Jonghyun honestly did not see the problem.
“It’s Heechul, he doesn’t speak willingly to anyone but his family, Siwon and that foreign guard,” said Jinki, “He even gave him cookies.”
Jonghyun waved a hand dismissively.
“Ok, but the guy’s got a few screws loose, major mood-swings,”
Like Kibum, he thinks sourly
“But have you any other proof?”
Jinki nods, leaning forward on the table.
“You know Bessie?”
Jonghyun is surprised.
“You mean Kibum’s large mutant stingray he feeds shark-flakes? Yeah, it tried to sting me last time I sang ‘You ain’t nothing but a stingray’ to it.”
Jinki’s voice turns grave.
“Well, Bessie let him pet him. He even let him ride him! Don’t you see Jonghyun; we have to stop him from bewitching everyone!”
Jonghyun is impressed, very impressed. He wonders if Taemin will show him how to ride Bessie too. Jinki’s face turns red at his slight smile and he coughs, turning that smile into a frown.
“So Taemin”
“DON’T SAY HIS NAME!”
“…This kid, he does a ‘flippy flippy thing’ and dazzles everyone into liking him so he can take over the Kingdom right?”
Jinki nods, thankful that someone is finally getting it. He’s spent the last three hours explaining his whole conspiracy theory and breakdown of the ‘flippy flippy thing’ as best as he can, and as slowly as he can to Jonghyun. Poor boy, he’d been born near land.
“So...I just have to avoid talking to him?”
“And looking him in the eye. Face. Anywhere on his whole sparkly body.”
Jonghyun sighs in relief, “Cool.”
Jinki leaves a while later-“I’m going to distribute flyers!”-and Jonghyun settles back, practicing the National Anthem. He moves on to other classics like ‘Under the Sea’, ‘I’ll go swimming’ and ‘Coral fields forever’ when a movement out of the corner of his eye causes him to stop. The figure tries to duck, but their brown hair floats above the windowsill.
“Hey, who’s there?” asks Jonghyun, deepening his voice. Wow, he thinks, my first fangirl.
Two gooey brown eyes, deep like the lava pits, stare up at him.
“I’m sorry, I was passing by and I heard you singing…” A lower lip wibbles.
“That’s ok!” He says it with a bit too much gusto, “Why don’t you come in and listen properly?”
“Really?” says his new-found fan. Jonghyun can’t quite tell at this point whether it’s a girl or boy-he’s betting girl-but it doesn’t really matter, someone appreciates his singing. Ten minutes later he’s told the kid everything he knows about the palace, Kibum, Jinki, Minho, and is singing another soulful rendition of ‘I’ve got you, under my scales’ when he realizes he doesn’t know the kid’s name.
“Taemin,” says the kid, gummy smile and shiny teeth. His scales glitter in the fading light and his fins shift between aquamarine and turquoise.
Damn, it’s a boy, thinks Jonghyun.
4.
“Kibum, Kibum, he got to Jonghyun too!” cries Jinki, pounding the bed, “Please, we don’t have much time; I think he’s onto me!”
“Uh huh,” says Kibum, applying more eye-liner, “Damnit, I’m almost out of ink…SLAVE I NEED MORE INK!”
The lobster snaps to attention and scuttles away.
“He’s everywhere I go Kibum, in the Mews, outside my house, at the market! I was at the public bath-house and someone starts scrubbing my fins and it’s him! You guys are the only ones who know about my,” he shivers, “weakness to fin-scrubbing. I barely made it out alive.”
“So he rubbed you the right way,” says Kibum, snickering at Jinki’s flushed face, “And he charmed Minho and praised that big-headed sea slug Jonghyun. I don’t think he’s after the Kingdom, Jinki, he’s not stalking me. And I’m the most stalkerable person in this whole Ocean.”
“He’s getting to you through us, through your family! He even got to Heechul,” says Jinki, eyes roaming around to check for bugs. The room seemed safe…But he knew better. He clutched the can of sea-salt spray close to his chest. Kibum rolls his eyes.
“You’re such a drama queen.”
Jinki can’t believe what he’s hearing, but for the sake of the Kingdom and everyone’s sanity, he must persevere. Kibum will thank him later.
“I’m telling you; don’t look him in the eyes! I’ve already distributed flyers warning everyone.”
I know, thinks Kibum darkly, Father had a fit about the increase in pollution and I had to sort it out
“He always smiles at me in this knowing way; he’s evil Kibum, pure, evil! I swear; he must’ve been human in a past life!”
Kibum gasps at the H-word. Jinki’s actually serious about this…
“I think you’re making a volcano out of a mud-pit. I also think you’re heavily in denial.”
Jinki’s heart shatters into millions of tiny pieces; his last remaining hope, Kibum, doesn’t believe him and what is he in denial about?
“Please, Kibum, beware of the sparkle-sparkle and flippy-flippy!”
Kibum smiles benevolently, as a future ruler should, and then points to the door.
“Get out, I’m busy. Send me a snail if you’ve recovered later.”
As Jinki is escorted out of the door, a familiar flash of aquamarine strikes him and he grips the nearest doorway.
“Come in~” sings Kibum from inside his room, “You look so cute today!”
“Hello!” chirps the spawn-of-evil, blinking and showing all his teeth (I bet he was a fisherman, thinks Jinki bitterly), “Want to try a cookie?” He offers a plate of freshly baked sea-cucumber cookies, garnished with mackerel. My favourite, thinks Jinki, the horror of it all sinking it.
“Get away from me, spy!” he cries, swimming as fast as he can backwards, bumping into numerous artifacts Kibum has collected over the years. The one Jonghyun found-“It’s a dildo, I heard the humans say it’s for pleasure *perverted grin*”-bumps him on the head and he screams, zooming away from he-who-must-not-be-named and Kibum.
5.
“Hyung,”
“Don’t talk to me.”
Jinki cowers under his blankets, a make-shift fort of rocks and shells standing between him and Minho. Strings of rotting seaweed and sea anemones hang from the roof of the cave with ancient incantations written all over the walls. Minho sighs and removes the octopus from his head, releasing it back outside. He clicks his tongue; he’s got suction-cup marks all over his forehead.
“I’ve been talking with the others,”
“Words of madness; wait, put that octopus back on!”
“-and we all decided this is ridiculous and Kibum can’t keep distracting the King from locking you up,”
“That’s exactly what he wants, don’t try to deny it!”
“And for your own good,”
“I was only looking out for you all!” wails Jinki.
“I think you should admit there is no ‘flippy-flippy thing’ before Kibum tridents you up the tail-fin”
“NEVER!”
“-and just admit you like him.”
“…What?” Jinki is worried at how depraved and bewitched Minho has become, how far he’s fallen under that thing’s dazzling spell. Perhaps tonight he could pack his belongings and travel far away, to the next Kingdom, where he doesn’t have to worry about sparkle motion and ‘flippy flippy’ tail motions; no happy, gummy smiles and moon-like eyes.
“You like him, L.I.K.E,” drawls Jonghyun, munching a cookie. Jinki’s eyes widen-poisoned cookies of doom!
“Don’t eat those!”
“Why? They’re good, wanna try?” asks Jonghyun in a sing-song voice, dangling one before his face, “Taemin (I know, don’t say his name, geez hyung, I’m not stupid) said you ran away earlier.”
“He’s probably put a potion in there! To bewitch you all and take over!” Jinki grabs the cookies and destroys it, smashing the tiny crumbs for good measure. His heart gives a little tweak of sadness at the waste of food, but he brushes it away.
“You’re such a little mer-girl,” sniffs Kibum, “You really hurt his feelings. All he’s ever done is be nice to you and you act like a raving lunatic. I don’t even know why I picked you as my charity case when clearly, you’re too far gone.”
He signals; Minho and Jonghyun coming over to grab his arms. Jinki grabs his bed, holds on for dear life.
“You won’t take me too!” he squeals, flapping his tail wildly, but alas, in vain. The duo drags him outside.
“Now listen,” snaps Kibum, “You’ve already screwed up but thankfully I’m such a nice person I’m going to help you. So don’t mess this up.” He glares at Jinki, who flinches. From around the corner he can see someone approaching.
“NOOOOOO,” he screams. Wordlessly, Minho stuffs a sponge into his mouth.
“You called for me, hyung?”
Kibum coos and glides over to hug the evil one.
“Jinki,” he gives said mer-man a hard look, “Wanted to apologize for earlier. And everything else.”
He leads the evil one over to Jinki, still trying to get the sponge out. Minho and Jonghyun release his arms and flit away to join Kibum, watching him. Jinki is pretty sure this is all part of some voodoo spell and the sponge is a gateway to the human world or something, and that he’s going to be possessed and turned into the worst of the worst-a salesman. The very thought alone makes him want to cry. He searches for possible escape routes-Kibum smiles in a threatening way and points at his trident. He gulps, trying not to swallow bits of sponge.
“Need help?” asks the evil one, taking the sponge out. Jinki tries not to flinch and looks at his fins, no, I can see his fins! Must avoid the sparkle!
‘Say sorry,’ mouths Jonghyun, ‘Just say it and Kibum won’t nag!’
Minho nods in agreement.
“Sorry,” mumbles Jinki, feeling the end closing in on him. He’s lost the energy to fight and would like to die in one piece. He avoids looking at the other, intent on keeping his mind as long as he can.
“I made those cookies for you, you know?” says the evil one softly, “Minho-hyung told me you liked them.”
Minho, my dear old friend, how could you? Sobs Jinki in his mind, you have doomed us all
“Um,” he replies, folding his hands.
“Have I done something wrong to upset you, I-I-I-don’t know, you always avoid me and I even scrubbed your tailfins and you swam away,” his voice trembles, shaking like boats in a tsunami, “I even trained Bessie so we, you, could ride him.”
Must…Not…Give in to cute voice…Stay…Strong Jinki!
“Sorry,” he mumbles again, “I didn’t know.”
“You don’t know anything,” scoffs Kibum, trying to keep quiet and failing.
“I really like you hyung,” says the evil one and what? Jinki makes the mistake of looking up and oh. The younger one’s eyes are watery, his cheeks are flushed and his hands are clenched by his sides. The light is really setting off his scales, which is not helping Jinki’s predicament. His hair floats like a halo around his small face. “Really, really like you.”
He looks up and sparkle motion be damned, Jinki falls.
“ASKDFJGKAJHGD,” he says.
“The fish?” says Jonghyun, “What the fish did he say?”
“Hyung…You’ve got sponge still in your mouth,” says Minho. Kibum facepalms.
Taemin smiles shyly.
“Let me?”
Jinki freezes, watching as Taemin closes in, reaches into his mouth to pull a tiny bit of sponge out. He’s lost the ability to speak, a funny tingling making its way from his tail to his heart. His tongue flicks out, touching one finger and Taemin goes pink.
“Thanks?” he manages to say, “And…Um, I think, I really…Um, emotionally-not to say physically you’re aren’t a fine specimen!-err, like…”
“JUST KISS ALREADY!” orders Kibum, waving his trident, little sparks shooting out. Jinki ‘eeps’, Kibum is way too trigger happy.
“Ok hyung!” says Taemin and suddenly he’s pressing against Jinki and his heart is pumping more water than is necessary and his tail is flapping happily and there are millions of sparkles everywhere. Taemin’s eyes are closed as he pulls away, bobbing up and down before Jinki, who raises who hand to his lips, touching them.
“Noob,” snorts Jonghyun, “I should’ve found another dildo thing for him.”
“Sparkle!” exclaims Jinki, “Sparkle-sparkle!”
“What?” exclaim Kibum and Jonghyun. Minho gets it.
“You’re doing it, the flippy-flippy thing and the sparkle-sparkle.”
“What?” asks Taemin, pouting, and it’s the most adorable thing Jinki’s ever seen and he wants it all for himself.
“Do it again,” he says, “Please?”
The smile he receives could light up the whole ocean. The sparkles he sees afterwards dazzle him for a very, very long time. In the background, Kibum cheers and Jonghyun starts singing ‘My heart will go on’. Minho smiles and thanks Poseidon they didn’t have to strap Jinki to a rock as Kibum originally planned. Jinki might’ve passed out from that one.
Taemin’s hands are holding Jinki’s shoulders whilst his hands are wrapped around Taemin’s thin waist. The younger mer-man brings their bodies together, wrapping his tail around Jinki’s. His tail-fin sneaks up, then down, stroking Jinki’s scales. It gives him a happy feeling and he’s pretty sure Taemin knows. Taemin pulls back, mouth red, stars in his eyes. His voice is breathy and in his eyes, Jinki can see his own reflection.
“Get a room,” crows Jonghyun.
“Stop speaking aloud,” says Minho, “It’s hard enough trying to sleep with Jonghyun in the same room.”
Jinki doesn’t hear them, doesn’t see them at that moment.
“Hey,” whispers Taemin, still on a high. His eye crinkle up in undeniable mischief and his tail-fin stops stroking Jinki’s.
Jinki whines at the loss of contact.
“Hyung,” says Taemin, voice dropping even lower, husky, “If we go to the bath-house I’ll wipe your tail-fin for you.”
And just because he’s just that nice, Kibum buys the bath-house for them.
A/N: I've been all serious (OK, not that serious) with zombies and then I thought, "Hey, nobody's done mermaids before (I think?), OOoh, Taemin would make an awesome mermaid." First time writing OnewxTaemin-it was going to be Onhyun or Onkey but oh well 8D. I will update zombie!fic soon though! Comments/constructivecritiscism is appreciated and loved!