I don't think you're ready (for this jelly)
Title: I don't think you're ready (for this jelly) (prologue)
Characters: SHINee (main), SJ, 2pm and SNSD appear
Genre: Humour (crack crack crack)
Pairing: Various
Summary: High School AU. Jinki's drink is spiked.
They’re walking offstage after their last performance of “Ring Ding Dong” on Music Bank, Jonghyun bouncing around and into Kibum, who bounces him back into a wall. Taemin is giggling, his spindly legs shaking as the wild cheering of their fans filters through the door. Minho has the biggest smile Jinki’s ever seen, and is busy texting and talking to the maknae.
“We’re finished, no more Ring Ding Dong!” shrieks Kibum. He throws a handful of confetti he’d stolen into the air, “No more insomnia thanks to Jonghyun!”
“Hey,” says Jonghyun, “I don’t sing in my sleep anymore.”
Kibum points to his eye-bags. Beneath the layer of make-up caked on their faces, Jinki can’t really see them. In fact, Kibum’s daily night-time cleansing ritual that lasts for a whole episode of ‘Mythbusters’ makes sure he doesn’t have eye-bags.
“See these,” he says, “These are because of you.”
Minho laughs at something the person of the other end of the line says (since when was he on the phone? Thinks Jinki, How does he do that?); no doubt it’s a hyung. Minho doesn’t generally get calls from anyone else.
“Jinki!”
SHINee’s fearless leader turns to meet his impending doom. Kibum has his hands on his hips, one foot tapping the floor impatiently as he stares. Jonghyun is whining something but Jinki can’t quite make out what he’s saying.
“You agree with me right?” You will agree with me or I will crush you.
“Um…Yes?” He smiles hopefully and nods. This appeases the younger boy, who turns to smirk down (as much as he can with the minimal height difference) at the lead singer. Jonghyun’s jaw drops and he flaps his arms angrily.
“What? That is so not fair, you know it’s not fair; you always side with Kibum!” He glares accusingly at Jinki who pretends to be engrossed in Taemin’s hair.
“Hyung?” asks Taemin, very surprised and a little freaked out to find his hyung smelling him.
“It’s true,” says Minho, and Jonghyun crosses his arms, nodding happily.
“Minho!” cries Jinki, deeply wounded. Minho looks at him from the corner of his eye, mouth curling up on one side and Jinki knows this is because he reduced texting hours in the dorm.
“My beauty sleep is important!” Kibum argues on, “I can’t sleep with the dwarf across the room singing ‘Hi ho, hi ho!’ all the time!”
“Not a dwarf!” yells Jonghyun, “I’m above-average height, above-average!”
“I’m going to take a drink,” says Jinki and slips away from the duo to the other side of their dressing room. He grabs a bottle of water and takes as long as possible to drink every last drop. It tastes a little weird, a bit off. In fact, thinks Jinki pensively, it doesn’t taste like water at all and ow, my throat burns. The room starts to spin and Minho’s eyes become gigantic saucers.
“Hyung?” asks Taemin’s disembodied voice, “Hyung, what’s wrong?”
Jinki starts laughing-he can’t help it. Right now Taemin sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks on speed, and -he laughs even more-Kibum’s body has melded with Jonghyun’s so it looks like they’re performing some weird karma sutra pose.
“Shit, this isn’t water!” says the Kibum-Jonghyun shape. There are rainbows and sunbursts exploding all around (or maybe that’s their costumes?) and the leader’s body feels like he’s floating.
“It’s gooooooooood,” says Jinki, feeling good, “Really, really good.”
And then he passes out.
When he comes to, the sun is shining dangerously into his eyes - ow, my retinas-and a group of helmeted, bulky men surround him. Jinki squeals like a little girl and it all goes black.
“Hyung.” This voice is very familiar to Jinki. “Hyung, wake up.”
Someone taps his face lightly and he blinks, sky a mess of blue and white in his eyes. He groans, holds his head.
“It was the water,” he moans, “Poison, oh God, they’re targeting my liver!”
“I don’t think he’s ok,” someone says.
“Shit, I am going to pound that motherfucker for hitting our kicker,” someone else growls. The sound of metal being crushed is heard and Jinki winces.
“Hyung,” says the first voice and Jinki squints, head still reeling from the drink. Minho’s face swims into view and hey, why is he wearing that?
“What happened to your…Sparkle?” asks Jinki. Minho looks both confused and worried.
“What are you talking about hyung?”
“That’s it, I’m breaking that guy’s legs,” says the third voice.
“Kangin hyung?” asks Jinki, struggling to sit up. Minho helps him and he rubs his head and eyes. Ouchies, he thinks as his eyes begin to sting. In occurs to him that he’s just rubbed soil into his eyes. Minho kneels before him clad in a lime green uniform, holding a helmet to one side. His shoulders are unnecessarily bulked up and he’s got what Jinki interprets as war-paint, streaked all over his face. Kangin is being restrained by Taecyeon, Taecyeon-hyung? The rest of the guys are still helmeted, each wearing the same blinding uniform. Oh God I’m high, thinks Jinki, hands coming up to clutch at his face. He starts smacking himself, hoping to wake up.
“Stop it, stop it!” Minho grabs his hands and Jinki stops struggling.
“Listen to me,” he says seriously, “You were just tackled really hard. We’re going to take you to the nurse’s office, ok?”
“What? No, I’m high, this is all a dream, you’re all part of my dream so I’m going to wake up, wake up right now,” says Jinki, pitch rising higher. He tries clicking his heels together, chants “I want to go home, I want to go home, Iwantogohome! No! Wait!...Is this a hidden camera?”
Minho looks at Taecyeon who looks at Kangin who looks at Jinki. And cracks his knuckles.
“Sorry Jinki,” says Kangin, and swings his fist. As he falls into oblivion, Jinki’s last thought is that this is a very bad dream.
And as an afterthought, why were they holding an Iowa Hawkeyes helmet?
A/N: Wrote this a while ago in between writing Zombie!fic haha and have written a bit more. The new chapter of Zombie!fic should be out next week-sorry for the wait, I've been on break! Tbc?