Changes (turn the face of strange)-DBSK fic
Title: Changes (turn the face of strange)
Rating: PG15
Summary: DBSK undergo some…developments in their DNA. The world is officially screwed.
Genre: Crack
Pairings: A few (:P)
A/N : Ok, this is written during exam time. Not exactly a good idea, but hey, couldn’t resist. It’s going to be a while before I post this…Edit:Posted! Enjoy!
The first one who noticed was Yoochun. Though to be fair, causing an earthquake after doing a hip thrust was pretty damn obvious. It’d been a little after midday as they practiced Rising Sun for their concert in Beijing and everyone (except Jaejoong) was really getting into practice (Jaejoong had gone off for a tea break). Yoochun had done a particularly violent hip thrust and the ground had rumbled, rocks crashed and Jaejoong’s face met his tea.
“What the hell?” said Junsu as he picked himself off the ground. Changmin groaned as he crawled back onto the stage; Yunho unplastered his face from the wall. Jaejoong shrieked as the hot tea scalded his skin and ran into Changmin who fell back down again with a moan, this time making sure to grab Jaejoong-“If I die you die too!”-who screamed even more and began to punch him as they fell. Yunho wandered up to the bewildered and slightly amused Yoochun who was surveying the damage caused.
“Right,” started their leader, “You did a hip thrust and there was a mini-earthquake. That can’t be possible…Who ever heard of hip thrusts that cause natural disasters?”
“Super Junior M,” muttered Changmin, “And KAT-TUN.”
“Yeah but it can’t be a coincidence! Only part of the stadium’s been damaged, the far end is still fine!” said Junsu.
“Let me try again,” Everyone shot panicked looks at him, “Gently this time,” finished Yoochun and proceeded to do a very gentle hip roll. A tremor passed beneath their feet.
“Woah,” said Junsu.
“That is beyond weird…”said Jaejoong, picking tea leaves out of his hair, “But do it again!”
“Hell yeah!” shouted Yoochun as he and Jaejoong simultaneously hip rolled. The far end of the stadium crumbled into dust and Junsu was thrown into Changmin’s hole, the former side-stepping with a sigh as the dolphin kissed the dust. Yunho had the foresight to grab a pillar and twitched as the ground slipped away beneath him.
“Right then…How are we going to pay for the damage?”
The second one to notice was Junsu as they walked along the sea in Shanghai.
“Do you ever get the feeling we’re being watched?” said Jaejoong.
“Yeah, all the time. They’re called fans hyung,” said Changmin sarcastically and Jaejoong reached out to kick him, Changmin dodging and poking his cheek.
“Yah! Shim Changmin you come back here now!”
“Jaejoong! Don’t tire yourselves out, we still have another show later!” called out Yunho as the Soul Fighters started throwing rocks rather viciously at each other.
“I don’t think that’s the real reason you’re worried about him getting tired,” Yoochun wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Yunho blanched for a second, before regaining his composure and looking away. Yoochun whooped in victory and began to hip roll.
“NO!” Junsu grabbed onto his hips but it was too late. The ground rumbled, trees shook, metal railings came undone and Junsu was flung squealing into the sea.
“Junsu!”
“Oh crap!”
“Yoochun!”
“……”
Crowding around the edge of the pavement they peered into the murky, polluted depths.
“I think I saw him! No…that was a dead fish.”
Suddenly a great tower of water rocketed out and a weird wailing noise filled the air. The tower of water made its way closer to them and they backed away slowly.
“Ok, on the count of three we run,” said Yunho, “One, two”
“Are those fish? And dolphins?” said Changmin. They all peered closer. The tower of water had dolphins pirouetting around it; mouths open in glorious ocean song as schools of shimmering fish jumped inside the tower, creating a rainbow.
“Wow…” was all Jaejoong could say before snapping a picture with his cellphone.
“Greetings mortals! It is I, your King!”
“Junsu!?”
Junsu emerged from the column, butt balanced perfectly on the noses of two dolphins who lowered him onto the pavement before squeaking reverently and slipping away. Junsu squeaked and the whole procession squeaked happily back before disappearing beneath the waves.
“WHAT THE HELL!?” Yoochun looked scared.
Junsu laughed cutely. Mini Yoochun blushed inside his head. Too…cute…
“When I fell into the sea I squealed and suddenly I felt myself being lifted by something. The dolphins took me a bit further out to a hidden cave and told me I was their King. I felt like a mermaid.”
“Dolphins…Told you, you were their King,” repeated Yunho. “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head or swallow too much water?”
“Mermaid?” Changmin shook his head in disdain.
“No really! I discovered I can talk to them! And the fish!” said Junsu. Changmin looked pensive as he stroked a rock. Jaejoong eyed him warily.
“Judging by the past minutes events I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. But you couldn’t speak to the dolphins in Fukuoka aquarium.”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
“I know, but when I was drowning I talked to them! Really! If Yoochun has hip swings of doom, then I deserve to talk to dolphins!”
“Does that mean you won’t eat any seafood? Because I’ll eat it for you,” offered Changmin eagerly. Jaejoong took the chance to whack him with a branch. Soul Fighter resumed battle and the other three turned away with a sigh.
“I don’t know…But I’m hungry,” said Junsu.
Yunho opened his mouth to reply but the darkening shadow behind him stopped any speech as he turned and began pointing frantically at the oncoming wave of fish.
“Oh my God,” was all Yoochun said as the wave of fish fell upon them in all their wet, scaly glory. Junsu popped up from beneath a mound of mackerel and waved at the dolphins who were clapping their fins.
“Thanks!”
The third was Yunho and his ‘development’ was revealed in not the most convenient way. Filming and practice left little private time and the 10 minute gap between a show was enough for him. Jaejoong had been driving him crazy for the past few hours, the subtle touches, hidden smiles and messages, the outright flirting with Changmin (who’d gone along with it for fun). The last straw had been when they were eating noodles, the way he’d handled the chopsticks should’ve been banned! All the stroking and licking, the way he’d licked the custard off his fingers as he ‘accidentally’ tore the custard bun; Yunho had announced his great need for a bathroom break and stormed off. Now they were backstage and Jaejoong was changing ever so slowly into his tight leather outfit. Yoochun and Junsu had wandered off to watch television, Changmin was reading in the next room and their manager was outside on the phone. Jaejoong turned to give a sultry smile as he slipped on the top and stretched, pale skin and muscles, cat-like. Yunho cracked. Grabbing Jaejoong he slammed him against the wall…And right through it. As the dust cleared and Yunho coughed, an outraged Jaejoong shoving him off to dust himself, Changmin raised an eyebrow from where he sat.
“Well…Someone was obviously very excited. Hyung, its’ your fault.”
Jaejoong glared at him as their manager and Yoosu ran back in, their manager through their door and Yoosu through Changmin’s. Yunho punched the rock trapping his feet and threw a large boulder off his thigh. Yoochun took a look at Jaejoong, half dressed , hair mussed and tight leather now torn; then to Yunho who was fully dressed, hair also mussed and tight leather showing a certain something that hadn’t fully disappeared.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Yunho coughed as he stood up, covered in dust. Jaejoong immediately rush over to pat him down, Yunho twitching as his hands lingered a bit too long. Changmin sighed and looked at them.
“I’m slightly worried as to what other things may develop. Not that anyone cares.”
Yoosu were on the floor in peals of laughter, Junsu making sure to hold onto and sit on Yoochun’s hips so when Yoochun laughed his hips didn’t swing too hard(the scene looked like something else entirely though); their manager was talking rapidly on the phone.
“Ok, we’re to go on with the show but you guys must be careful not to reveal anything! When we’re back in Korea next week you’re all going to get a check up…Junsu, please tell your…Subjects to stop leaving fish on the sidewalk. Residents are complaining…How did they even manage to get the fish so far inland anyway?”
Junsu nodded his head wisely.
“Flying fish.”
The flight back to Korea was pushed two days earlier after Jaejoong woke up screaming at an even higher pitch than usual, Yunho moaning in pain beside him. The other three rushed into their room to see a very naked Jaejoong standing in front of the mirror with a very confused (and horny) Yunho behind him in bed.
“Woah…” was all Junsu could say.
“I have a migraine,” said Changmin and wandered off to find some aspirin.
“Those have got to be double-D’s,” said Yoochun appreciatively and let out a wolf whistle, “Niiice.”
“Get out Get out Get OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!” screamed the eldest and rushed into the bathroom with a loud bang, long hair streaming and shiny (“Oooh, L’Oreal” said Junsu).
“I think he’s got PMS,” said Changmin from the doorway before a toothbrush hit his head.
A few minutes later, a very female Jaejoong sat despondently on the bed, wearing an over-sized shirt and jeans. Junsu looked jealous as he surveyed Jaejoong’s new butt.
“You must’ve had plastic surgery,” he concluded. Jaejoong stared.
“I was a man yesterday, I went to sleep-”
“What sleep?” said Yoochun and looked at Yunho.
“-A man, when and why would I want surgery!?”
“Jae, Boojae, calm down,” Yunho called out softly. Jaejoong whirled around to face him accusingly.
“You! This is your fault isn’t it! After we had sex I fell asleep and woke up a woman! It’s your sperm!”
Junsu choked on his apple. Changmin wandered off for more aspirin.
Yunho would’ve replied but an angry Jaejoong was turning him on. Again. Oh God. Yoochun was starting to look uncomfortable and tugged on his collar nervously. Junsu was squirming around in his seat (apple now safely dislodged from his throat), beads of sweat beginning to form.
“Hyung…Hyung…I feel strange.”
Yunho took no notice as he watched the still furious Jaejoong rummage through the suitcase for clothes. Yoochun had moved to hide behind the bed and was grabbing the sheets tightly. Junsu was holding onto a tableleg for dear life, squirming up and down unhappily. Jaejoong pouted.
“Oh God,” said Yoochun before he tackled Jaejoong to the ground. Jaejoong let out a yelp as their added weights caused them to break a table and go stumbling into a wall. Yunho watched with glazed eyes as Yoochun began to kiss the side of Jaejoong’s neck, hands holding the curvy waist. Jaejoong moaned in pleasure and Junsu yelled “Sorry!” to Yunho before positioning himself behind Jaejoong so he could ravish the other side of his neck, hands moving swiftly towards his chest. Changmin opened the door, shivered and left abruptly. Half of Yunho wanted to tear the others off Jaejoong, the other was screaming “GET IN THERE!!!”
“Something’s not right…” he managed to mumble before pulling the other three onto the bed. Jaejoong found himself kissing Yunho who was bending over upside down above him, whilst Yoochun licked his neck and stroked his leg. Junsu’s hands had gone beneath the shirt and were now working on the jeans. A large amount of cold water splashed over them and they stopped, blinking and cold. Changmin stood in the doorway, dustbin in hand (he couldn’t find a bucket).
“What am I? Oh crap!” Yoochun leapt off the bed and Junsu saw where his hands were and let out a frightened squeal as Yunho grabbed Jaejoong possessively, growling. Jaejoong looked like the cat that had caught the canary and resumed kissing Yunho. Yoochun and Junsu felt a haze enter their mind but Changmin grabbed their arms and yanked them outside, closing the door quickly. Yoochun blinked again and Junsu looked around.
“What? What happened?”
Changmin dialed their manager’s number.
“Seems that Jaejoong gives out some particularly strong pheromones in addition to being female.”
They all winced as the sound of someone being slammed against a wall (probably Jaejoong considering it didn’t break) echoed in the hotel room.
“Woah,” said Yoochun.
Their flight to Korea was moved to the next day when Changmin woke up as an octopus. A very pissed off octopus.
“Aww, you look so cute I could eat you!” said Jaejoong and cackled evilly, poking him with a stick. Changmin glared as best as he could and whacked Jaejoong with a tentacle.
“I’ll call the manager,” said Yunho.
“Does this mean I’m your King?” said Junsu, eyes lighting up at the prospect.
“Woah,” said Yoochun. Changmin resisted the urge to strangle him.
“You look like the octopus they have on takoyaki stands,” said Jaejoong, still cackling. Changmin gasped. Jaejoong burst into fresh tears of laughter.
“That’s it! The takoyaki!” He waved his tentacles frantically. Yoochun and Jaejoong burst out laughing.
“It’s just like Jaejoong’s octopus dance! AHAHAAHA!”
“No you idiots! The takoyaki we had in Japan!”
“We’ve had loads of takoyaki,” said Junsu.
“Manager’s on his way,” said Yunho, before taking the stick away from Jaejoong. Changmin made a noise of approval.
“No, the last day, when you and Yoochun wandered off for food and came back with some takoyaki. I knew the sauce tasted weird!”
Everyone stared.
“Riiiight, because of the takoyaki. It’s more likely we were exposed to radiation or hit with gamma rays or something. Or touched by a magical being,” said Junsu.
“Who’d Jaejoong get touched by? Certainly wasn’t Yunho!” cried Yoochun before being tackled by Jaejoong. Yunho felt hot.
“Jae…Please stop, you’re emitting pheromones again.”
Indeed, Yoochun hand’s had found themselves a comfy place between Jaejoong’s breasts and Junsu was holding his head out of the window, breathing in and out slowly. Changmin was the only one unaffected.
“He’s doing it on purpose,” said Changmin. Jaejoong stared. Everyone stared.
“No I’m not, it just happens,” said Jaejoong. Changmin shook his bright red bulbous head.
“No, I read your mind.” Silence.
“So you’re a mind reading squid?” asked Junsu, “AHAHAHAHAHAA!”
“I’m an octopus! And yes I can read minds, stop thinking about maid outfits hyung! Both of you!”
Yunho and Yoochun looked a mixture of guilty and freaked.
‘I’m not thinking about maid outfits, I’m not thinking about maid outfits, I’m not thinking about how good Jaejoong would look tied up in a pink outfit with lace, I’m not’
‘Oh crap, Ohh crap, Holy crap, Jaejoong would most certainly NOT look good in a maid outfit, damn these pants are tight…’
“Jaejoong, stop thinking about being tied up in a maid’s outfit! Gah, you two stop fantasizing! Junsu, I am NOT your subject!” Junsu looked disappointed. “Jaejoong stop releasing pheromones! And no, I don’t get turned on by you!” Jaejoong pouted.
Changmin scratched his chin thoughtfully and swam around in his bowl.
“I hope this isn’t permanent…YEAH I KNOW YOU DON’T MIND HYUNG!”
Jaejoong sniffed and pranced off into the bathroom to appreciate his new body more (Yunho and Yoochun following closely behind to help in appreciating).
“So…are you edible?”
Changmin squirted ink in Junsu’s face.
Edit: Exams are finally over!!! (although I wish we didn’t have to go back to school). I can’t wait for their new single!! Hopefully I can catch them in A-nation…Part 2 up in 2 weeks….when I’m freeeeeee!! Unlike now, where I look quite sad sitting in this café with my laptop…All to get unrestricted internet. Least my friend’s here so I don’t look like a loner. XP