I say a little prayer for you (Shinee Heaven/Hell AU fic)
Title: I say a little prayer for you
Characters: Shinee, mentions of DBSK
Pairing: None, minor Onkey and Jongkey Bff-ery
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: In which Hell gets a new recuit
A/N: I don’t know what I’m doing, I have an exam in the morning and I end up writing this (have not written everything in my head as I’d probably be thinking about the wrong things in the morning) but I had the greatest urge to write Angel/Reaper Shinee fiction. Oh well, enjoy! Thanks to all who commented on my HP Au story, comments are love!
“Oh my God,” screeched Key, flying into the dining hall (Or the Hall of Heavenly Experience as was its original name), “Oh my God, ohmmyGod, OH MY GOD!”
“What the Hell? WhattheHell? WHAT THE HELL?!” cried Jong Hyun dramatically, holding his spoon to his forehead. Key glared and Jong Hyun shrunk back.
“You’ll never guess what I just heard,” said Key, choosing to speak to those who would actually listen and not to idiotic best friends who thought just because they were what, a century older, knew everything.
“What hyung?” asked Taemin, rookie Reaper and the most adorable thing to have died and gone to Hell. Also known as Key’s unofficial/but somehow official adopted son (Key made sure all those other harp playing b**ches in Heaven stayed away from his son).
“Apparently, God’s Right hand, Yunho was caught with Jaejoong, the head of my Squad, in a compromising position involving animal suits in a theme park,” whispered Key conspiratorially, making sure nobody was listening.
“As in Yunho of the Heavenly Sword?” asked Minho, Angel of the 2nd degree as he sniffed the soup suspiciously, trying to see if a bit of stray cloud had blown in. Jong Hyun snickered.
“Heavenly Sword indeed, I’ll bet Jaejoong enjoyed being his sheath-OW!”
Key glared at the other Angel.
“What are you, like, 400?”
“What are you, like, 200?” mimicked Jong Hyun, flapping a hand and rolling his eyes.
“Shut up, you’re only a century older!”
“Shut up, you’re just jealous of my superiority in life! You’ve never been able to let go of the fact you had shampoo and proper toilets!”
“Well excuse me for caring about personal hygiene you primitive piece of unevolved DNA!”
“Oh so we’re getting technical are we?”
“Yeah we are!”
“It’s on!”
“Bring it beeyatch, I’ll scythe your Heavenly ass!”
Minho sighed and swapped soup with Jong Hyun who didn’t look like he was going to eat anytime soon. Taemin pouted and Minho reached over to swap Taemin’s cream puff with Kibum’s. As the other boys argued Minho felt a headache coming on (sadly Angels were not immune to sickness) and cleared his throat.
“There’s a new Reaper joining you hyung,” Key stopped pulling Jong Hyun’s cheeks, “He used to be an Angel but higher ups think he’d be better off in Hell helping you all.”
“What?! Sounds more like he got demoted to me,” said Kibum, pursing his lips.
“I see him, I see him!” Taemin was practically bouncing up and down in his seat in excitement. They watched as a rather awkward (but cute in Key’s mind, like deer in headlights about to be hit cute) boy stuck his head through the doorway and peered nervously at the dining hall before shuffling in to line up for food.
“What’s his name?” asked Jong Hyun, “I wonder which Squad or department he was in.”
The boy collected his tray and walked a step before stopping, beginning to resemble a lost puppy as he gazed forlornly around the hall for a familiar face, taking one step forward before going one step back. He did this repeatedly, moving nowhere other than rotating in a circle; his movements gathering interest of other Reapers and Angels. Minho sighed (Key on the other hand was getting sadistic pleasure out of this) and raised a hand, waving to the other boy who looked confused before brightening up, an equally bright (‘Pearly,’ thought Key absently) smile on his face as he all but floated towards them…And tripped.
“Onew,” said Minho as if the weight of the world was on him, “His name is Lee Jinki but you can call him Onew.”
“Onew,” chorused Key and Jong Hyun eerily and stared at the newcomer.
“Onew hyung!” said Taemin and flicked back his hair (to the dismay of Key and the joy of a million happy nunas everywhere).
Onew peeled his face off the floor and gave a sheepish smile.
“Hi?”
~~~~
“You’re going to hate Hell,” said Jong Hyun, nodding his head gravely, “It’s full of sadistic, cruel Reapers who love nothing better than taking the souls of those who didn’t make it to Heaven and laughing as they try to do mental arithmetic.”
“It never gets old,” chuckled Key, “I love it when they start mixing up their times tables.”
Onew looked scared.
“Oh you’ll love it,” said Key although this sounded more like an order, somewhat along the lines of you-will-love-it-or-else, “I mean, where else can you have barbeques all year long?”
The elevator ‘dinged’ and Key shoved Onew inside as the doors opened, pulling Taemin in with them.
“Send me a dove!”
“I’m a Reaper you retard, I don’t do doves!”
“See you later!” beamed Taemin, causing rainbows to break out all over the Earth.
“See you!” Jong Hyun made a rude gesture at Key which was dually returned and Minho waved good bye as the doors closed and the elevator zoomed down, down where no Angel had ever gone before (Yunho however…). Onew gulped and sweat broke out all over his forehead, eyes moving slowly to observe the two Reapers next to him. Key was staring into a mirror and Taemin , Taemin was humming and bobbing along to the goddamn elevator music and ohgodtoocute. The temperature seemed to rise inside and Onew tugged at his collar nervously, wringing his hands and wiping his head in a manner his hoped was discrete (the Reaper Key gave him the evil eye so he supposed not). Finally they reached ground level and Onew reached for the button and yelped as it burned. He suspected he might melt from heat overdrive and turn into a white puddle of Heavenly goo.
“Oh,” said Key looking thoughtful, “Sorry, I forgot to tell you it’s much much hotter down here. But you’ll get used to it.”
“Um,” said Onew because there was nothing else to say.
“Welcome to Hell!” said Taemin, looking utterly overjoyed and unbelievably comfortable. And Onew said nothing this time because really, there just wasn’t any point and stared at his surroundings (fire and brimstone, torture chambers, people being led into a darkened room, more fire, more brimstone, someone who looked like Adolf Hitler, brimstone) until Key smacked him on the head.
“Stop daydreaming, this isn’t Heaven! Now march, we need to get you assigned!” and Onew found himself being frog marched towards the main office.
“I haven’t a hope in Hell,” he moaned and Key smacked him twice, once for the horrible pun and twice because he could.
A/N: Comment are love, this will probably be a series of drabbles for this AU.