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Continued from Here
I've no idea what woke me up. It might have been the sound of cars rushing by floating in from the open window. Or some bird twittering away close to said open window. Perhaps it was my neighbor being unusually loud while getting ready for work. Which was when I recalled we'd not exactly been quiet last night ourselves. We, being Cordelia and I.
Shifting a little, I glanced down at the women still asleep in my arms and smiled. Last night had been unexpected, but something we both needed. We'd taken comforting each other to a new level, that much was certain. But when I add all things up which had happened to us since she came back to live? Since...Fred had died? It's not all that odd.
Fred. The moment I thought of her, there was that old familiar pang tightening my chest. I will always love her. I've not yet mourned for her loss, but I do realize now that she's gone. Her soul evaporated into thin air. She was truly gone, nothing but a mere memory. But I was never going to forget her. Deep down I knew, Cordelia would never let me forget her either. She seemed to understand how important Fred is...was...is, in my live. Her body still walking around as though she were alive. But that wasn't Fred; it really was only her shell. It still hurt when Illyria called her body that.
Good god, Illyria. I suppose I should thank several deities she hadn’t shown up last night.
Shifting a little, I stretched out carefully, not wanting to wake up Cordy. I leaned on my elbow, putting my head on my hand and looked at her. Just watching, which made me snicker for a moment. I'd been expecting awkwardness, uncomfortable ness, perhaps even panic. But there was nothing of the kind. It still felt good. I still that I'd done the right thing. There were most certainly no regrets. I could only hope she'd feel the same and we'd not somehow managed to destroy the only friendship both of us had left.
It's amazing how our entire family had fallen apart. Fred, gone. Gunn, in hell and broken. Lorne has his memories back. I'm sure he'll be leaving soon. Angel...I've no idea what to think of Angel really. Their friend Doyle, died a long time ago, but never forgotten. Much like Fred, will never be forgotten. And then there were Cordelia and I.
I noticed I liked the sound of that. Cordelia and I. I and Cordelia. Funny how I've never noticed that before.
Leaning forward, I dropped a careful kiss on her forehead before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She shifted a little, making a small sound, which alerted me that she was waking up. My fingertip kept tracing the features of her face. Such a well-known face, such a beautiful face. Sometimes what you really need is in plain sight for years before you notice it. But I cannot believe Cordelia and I have been this blind.
I've no idea what woke me up. It might have been the sound of cars rushing by floating in from the open window. Or some bird twittering away close to said open window. Perhaps it was my neighbor being unusually loud while getting ready for work. Which was when I recalled we'd not exactly been quiet last night ourselves. We, being Cordelia and I.
Shifting a little, I glanced down at the women still asleep in my arms and smiled. Last night had been unexpected, but something we both needed. We'd taken comforting each other to a new level, that much was certain. But when I add all things up which had happened to us since she came back to live? Since...Fred had died? It's not all that odd.
Fred. The moment I thought of her, there was that old familiar pang tightening my chest. I will always love her. I've not yet mourned for her loss, but I do realize now that she's gone. Her soul evaporated into thin air. She was truly gone, nothing but a mere memory. But I was never going to forget her. Deep down I knew, Cordelia would never let me forget her either. She seemed to understand how important Fred is...was...is, in my live. Her body still walking around as though she were alive. But that wasn't Fred; it really was only her shell. It still hurt when Illyria called her body that.
Good god, Illyria. I suppose I should thank several deities she hadn’t shown up last night.
Shifting a little, I stretched out carefully, not wanting to wake up Cordy. I leaned on my elbow, putting my head on my hand and looked at her. Just watching, which made me snicker for a moment. I'd been expecting awkwardness, uncomfortable ness, perhaps even panic. But there was nothing of the kind. It still felt good. I still that I'd done the right thing. There were most certainly no regrets. I could only hope she'd feel the same and we'd not somehow managed to destroy the only friendship both of us had left.
It's amazing how our entire family had fallen apart. Fred, gone. Gunn, in hell and broken. Lorne has his memories back. I'm sure he'll be leaving soon. Angel...I've no idea what to think of Angel really. Their friend Doyle, died a long time ago, but never forgotten. Much like Fred, will never be forgotten. And then there were Cordelia and I.
I noticed I liked the sound of that. Cordelia and I. I and Cordelia. Funny how I've never noticed that before.
Leaning forward, I dropped a careful kiss on her forehead before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She shifted a little, making a small sound, which alerted me that she was waking up. My fingertip kept tracing the features of her face. Such a well-known face, such a beautiful face. Sometimes what you really need is in plain sight for years before you notice it. But I cannot believe Cordelia and I have been this blind.