We Can Explain, for jujuberry136, team-centric, gen
Title: We Can Explain
Author/Artist: darkhawkhealer
Recipient: jujuberry136
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: +/- 4,575
Warnings/spoilers: none
Summary/prompt: It's Monday morning and Hotch wants to know why he got a phone call from the Jersey police about Reid, Prentiss, and Garcia.
A/N: Thanks to the beta for the go ahead. jujuberry136, I sincerely hope you enjoy this.
Monday morning dawned gray and overcast, typical for autumn in Virginia. Aaron Hotchner pulled into his parking slot with smooth precision and got out, snagging his briefcase and locking his car before heading inside. His pace was measured and assertive, and he spared a nod and half smile for the mail girl as he passed her on his way into the bullpen.
Even that small hint of warmth faded when he saw three of his team lined up outside of his office door. Everything about them screamed guilt; from the way Reid picked at his nails to Garcia's subdued wardrobe (solid colors, only a hint of sparkle at her ears). Even Prentiss chewed her lower lip as she looked hesitantly up at him.
Morgan sat at his desk, staring up at them in undisguised curiosity. "What happened?"
"Later." Aaron said, as he passed Morgan's desk. His tone brooked no argument - not that it usually did - but this time the explanation really would have to wait. Aaron himself had little idea what had happened to put that look on his team's face. All he knew was that he'd received three separate phone calls from various police departments over the weekend, each from a different state, wanting to verify that these miscreants really did work for him.
Aaron unlocked his office door and stood aside to let them file passed him, feet dragging.
Somebody had some explaining to do.
***
Penelope fidgeted in place where she waited next to Reid. They were lined up outside of Hotch's office, studiously avoiding her chocolate seduction's catcalls. She'd already hissed at him that he was going to get them into trouble, but that didn't seem to be stopping him any.
Then Hotch walked in, and Penelope's heart leapt into her throat. He was looking distinctly displeased, and she hated putting that look on his face. He stalked silently passed the three of them and opened his office door, waiting expectantly as they turned and faced him. Penelope knew she had to lead everyone in, but she had to convince her feet not to do what she wanted (run in the opposite direction and hide in her office until he was done being mad at her) first.
Reid nudged her minutely and she started, then walked into the office to stand in front of his desk. Emily and Spencer followed her, and Penelope couldn't help twisting her bracelet nervously when Hotch closed the door behind him and settled into his desk.
He stared at each of them expectantly, letting the silence build. Penelope pressed a hand to the fluttering in her stomach briefly, wondering who was supposed to start.
Apparently, it was Emily.
"Garcia started it, sir!"
The traitor! Penelope's jaw dropped and she leaned forward to see Emily around where Spencer stood in the middle. "Emily!" Her tone was shocked, throwing her pitch higher than normal.
"Well, you did!" Emily hissed. "The kidnapping was totally your fault!"
"How do you figure?" she demanded, indignant now.
"You're the one who said we should go to The Noc Noc!"
"You're the one who thought the rum runners were a good idea!" She retorted.
"Who convinced Reid to dress in drag?" Emily demanded.
"You did!"
"Well, I definitely remember you being the one who said we should follow Reid when he left with those really big guys!"
"They were really big guys, what were we supposed to do, leave him at their mercy?"
"Do we really have to bring that up now?" Reid squeaked.
Penelope patted his arm absently. "Hush, Puppy."
"Don't call him that, you're giving me disturbing mental images!"
"Hey! I am a healthy American male, I can have sex!"
"Yes, but I don't need to picture it at work!"
"Don't listen to her, it's a perfectly cute nickname."
"ALRIGHT!"
Penelope jumped as Hotch leaned forward in his chair and waited until all three of them had fallen silent.
"Reid. Start."
***
Spencer straightened and tried not to fidget under Hotch's stern gaze. He took a deep breath and tried to remember how it had all started.
"Emily and Garcia went to a club to let off some steam after you gave us the weekend. I was there with a friend-"
"A girlfriend," Emily muttered.
"We're just friends," Reid said, ignoring Penelope's snort of disbelief. "And we happened to be in the same bar Emily and Garcia were at..."
***
Spencer wound his way through the crowded bar, ducking guys in studded leather and weaving around girls with orange eye shadow, looking for his companion for the evening.
"PUPPY!" The holler of his nickname caught his attention, and Reid turned to see Abigail Scuito waving him over to a side booth. Her ample cleavage was practically falling out of her corset and the high pigtails made him smile when he reached her. She tugged on his tie to get him to bend down for a chaste (for them) kiss.
"I made friends!" she announced, turning to share her water from the table and introduce him to her companions. "This is Emily and Penny! Can we take her home with us?"
Spencer blinked off his discomfort and looked down at her. "Which?"
"Either," Abby shrugged carelessly, obviously enjoying the look of surprise on the girls' faces.
Spencer grinned a little as he sat next to Abby, tugging affectionately on a pigtail. "Sorry, Kitten, Penny has a boyfriend and they're both my coworkers. Meet Garcia and Prentiss."
Spencer watched as Abby's gaze went from amused to surprised, then vaguely chagrined. "Really? Does this mean I shouldn't have mentioned our sexcapades to them?"
Dread pooled in his stomach. "Tell me you didn't."
"Oh, she did, you sex fiend!" Garcia exclaimed, sitting back and taking a long sip from her straw. "I'm impressed, Puppy, I didn't know you had it in you."
"Repeatedly." Emily interjected, smirking as Garcia erupted into giggles.
Spencer groaned. "Did you tell them about the lab or the taxi?"
"Both?" The buzzing of her pager saved her from his glare. "Oh, crap, I have to go. Wonder if I have time to go home and change first?"
"Go outside and check," Emily suggested. "If you don't, I'm sure Reid wouldn't mind helping you out. You could probably switch clothes with him."
"Emily!" Spencer squeaked, looking over in shock.
"Oh, I like her!"
"You would." Spencer shook his head wryly. "Alright, go see if you have enough time to swing by your place or if you have to go straight to the lab."
"Look at it this way," Garcia said as they all watched Abby leave the bar, "If you end up having to switch clothes with her, you'll be in good company tonight."
"There do seem to be an unusual number of cross-dressers here tonight," Emily noted. "And I don't get the feeling they're the kind who take themselves seriously, either."
"Mmmhmm," Garcia agreed, "Somebody should have told that boy to shave if he was going to go with the fishnets."
Spencer shook his head again. "What are you two even doing here, anyway? Half the reason I like to meet Abby here is because the chances of my running into someone I know from work are exceedingly small."
"I heard about this place," Garcia said, looking around. "And I have to say, I'm pretty impressed. Of course, I never thought we'd run into your girlfriend, either. You've been holding out on us!"
"She's not my girlfriend," he responded. "Why? Did she say she was?"
"Sure," Emily said. "I greet my not-boyfriends like that all the time."
"Abby's always been extremely affectionate, and 'girlfriend' implies a sense of permanency or exclusivity that isn't there. We both work too much for that."
"Damn," Emily said, tilting her head and looking at him thoughtfully. "That sounded almost rational."
Abby returned and wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck, earning a jump of surprise. "Puppy..."
He winced at her wheedling tone. "I don't see why you can't go in like that. You look very nice."
"The last time I went in like this, Tim and Tony couldn't concentrate because they kept staring at me! Gibbs had to smack them twice as much as he usually does! And then he glared at me! Please, Puppy? I don't know if they'll need me in the lab immediately or if I'll have time to change when I get there and I'd really rather not take the chance."
"Yeah, Puppy," Emily said. "Be a hero, help your friend out. After all, we already know you've done it before."
Spencer turned to stare at Abby, who shrugged apologetically. "I might have mentioned that you can rock it better than present company. But I didn't know who they were at the time, and I was totally bragging about how hot you look!"
Spencer sighed. "We'll be right back."
***
Hotch stared, gaze faintly disbelieving. "So you switched clothes with your friend, leaving you in a corset and a skirt."
"And the shoes," Garcia helpfully supplied. She faltered when he looked at her. "Well, it would have looked funny, him being in a skirt with no heels."
"I was going to go straight home and change," Spencer said.
"And it would have been fine," Emily added, "Except for that's when Reid got kidnapped. Remember how we said there were a bunch of other guys walking around in drag?"
***
Emily watched Reid and Abby walk away and shook her head. "I think I need another drink. I don't think I'm drunk enough yet."
"Easy, tiger. These rum runners are no joke."
Emily stared into her glass. It hadn't exactly been the easiest of cases. "Yeah, well..."
PG reached out and squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. "I know. I'm just saying, we should probably watch the booze. Hello," she perked up. "Abby was right, that boy looks GOOD in drag!"
Emily whipped around and craned her head to see over the crowd. "Oh, my god. Is he...?"
"Yeah," Penelope agreed breathlessly. "Wow."
"Well." Emily sat back and considered the sight before her. "I think I know who we're volunteering to do undercover work in the future."
They erupted into giggles, watching with fondness as Reid stomped over to the bar and bellied up, arms crossed in front of him and shoulders hunched. Emily was still amused when a big guy stepped up behind Reid and touched his waist to get his attention. She profiled the guy on instinct, knowing that Reid probably did the same thing when he turned and looked the guy up and down.
College student, maybe. Definitely in the younger end of his 20s. Well-dressed, but still in that young/edgy style. Definitely worked out, if the definition in his biceps and shoulders was anything to go by. Kind of needed a haircut.
So the last observation wasn't strictly a profiler's, but she had been drinking and she was a woman, so she noticed these things.
She also noticed when the guy's hand went to Reid's elbow and he started tugging. Noticed the way Reid planted his feet and resisted, before the guy looked around him to another, burlier man coming up behind Reid to push him along.
"What the hell?" Garcia muttered beside her, watching the same scene.
She may have been drinking, but there was definitely no mistaking the pleading, slightly desperate look Reid threw back at the girls as the two men dragged him outside.
"Did you see that?" Garcia demanded as they both jumped up and began weaving through the crowd. "I mean, did you see that?"
"Yeah, I saw it. Where's your phone?" Emily asked, coming to a stop in the door way, blocking the bouncer and the line waiting to get in. "The men that just came through here, two big guys and another guy in drag. Corset, skirt, collar and heels. Did you see which way they went?"
"Rossi's not answering!"
The bouncer gave them an unimpressed look. "Can you ladies step out of the way, please?"
"Which way did they go?" Emily demanded.
"I wasn't paying attention," he said.
"Emily! Emily, what do I do?"
"Call Hotch!"
"He took Jack to Wolf Mountain Lodge for the weekend!"
"Shit!" The indoor waterpark was a favorite of theirs in the winter. "Morgan?"
"He's in Chicago this weekend, remember?"
***
"Why didn't you call Reid himself?" Aaron asked curiously. "Or the police, for that matter?"
Prentiss had the grace to look embarrassed. "We had been drinking, sir. We didn't remember."
"And I may have left my cell phone at the bar, anyway," Reid volunteered, looking chagrined. "There wasn't exactly a pocket in that skirt."
Aaron spared a fleeting thought to the ibuprofen in his desk drawer. "Continue."
***
Emily looked up and down the empty street, searching for some sign of Reid and the men that took him. Nothing.
"Try Rossi again," Emily ordered, stalking up to the few cabs that were lined against the sidewalk, waiting to pick up responsibly inebriated passengers. She knocked on the window of one and then leaned down when he rolled it down. "Three guys just came out of here, two jocks and a skinny boy in drag. Did you see them?"
He shook his head and she moved on to the next one. "Three guys just came out; one in a skirt and two big jocks, did you see them?"
Another 'no', and now she wanted to cry, scared out of her mind for her friend.
She knocked on the last window. "Two guys just came dragging another, skinnier one in a skirt out of the bar. Did you see them?"
"Lady, there've been a bunch of guys in skirts tonight, and they've all made a mass exodus recently."
Garcia grabbed her arm. "Did you see which way they went?"
The cabbie pointed. "There's a parking garage about a block and a half that way."
Emily and Garcia traded a look and clambered into the back of the cab. "Can you take us there?"
"Lady, it's just a little up the road!"
"Please! We don't have time and this is faster!"
He shrugged and flipped on the meter, then pulled out into the street. He was right, it was a short drive; they were just pulling up to the parking garage when a dark gray van pulled out.
Emily felt her heart jumping into her throat when she recognized the guys sitting in the front. "Follow that van!" she shouted, making the cab driver wince. He sighed and pulled in behind the van, winding through the city and ending up on the highway.
"How long do you want me to follow them?" He asked.
Emily looked at him like he was crazy. "Until they stop!"
He gave her the same look back. "Alright, but I feel I should warn you that it could get expensive. Those are Maryland plates."
***
Aaron bit back a groan. "You crossed state lines."
"We did," Garcia confirmed, shifting in place. "And it would've been fine, except that sometime after we got into Maryland, the yahoos in the van realized that we were following them. So they sped up. So we sped up. And that's when two state patrol cars came up behind us and pulled us over."
***
The cabbie groaned and obediently slowed down onto the shoulder. He popped open the glove compartment and rummaged around in it. "If I get a ticket, you two are explaining it to my boss. And you're paying for it."
"License and registration?"
The driver handed them over without a word.
"Where y'all headed so fast?"
"Federales in the back seat are claiming somebody got kidnapped in the van."
The officer's eyebrows arched up. "Ladies?"
Emily and Penelope dug into their purses for their badges and then passed them up front.
"Please, sir, his name is Dr. Spencer Reid, and he was with us at the club about an hour back. We saw the two guys in the front seat of the van come up on either side of him and start pulling him towards the door, and he didn't know them." Penelope bit her lip. "We're sorry, we're not trying to cause trouble, we just want to know what the heck is going on!"
The officer inspected the badges and then looked over to where the driver of the van was out of the vehicle and leaning against the side of it. "I'm going to go see what's going on, y'all just sit tight."
Penelope laid her head on Emily's shoulder. "I hope he's okay."
Emily squeezed her hand. "It's going to be okay," she murmured, willing herself to believe it.
They watched as the two officers conferred, occasionally talking into the police radios on their shoulders. One of them stuck his head into the van and then the side door opened, and Spencer stumbled out.
"Oh!" Penelope and Emily breathed twin sighs of relief as the officers gave Spencer the once over and shook their heads. The one who had taken their badges walked back with him and opened up the back door so Spencer could climb in.
"I know y'all Feds like to look out for each other," the officer started as he handed back badges and licenses, "But the next time you think one of your boys has gotten kidnapped, the best thing for you to do is to call the police, and this whole mess could've been avoided. And you," here he gave the cab driver a stern look, "the next time two FBI agents commandeer your cab from a bar, call it in to your dispatch. I know you know better than to get caught speeding, so I'm not even going to lecture you on that one."
"Yes, sir."
"Y'all are free to go." He straightened and tapped the roof, then went back to the van while they pulled out onto the road again.
"Spencer!" Penelope exclaimed, "Are you all right? Did they hurt you? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
He shook his head. "I'm fine. Got caught up in some fraternity hazing. Apparently I still look young enough to be a rush, and all those guys in really bad drag that we saw at the bar? They were all pledges. When I switched clothes with Abby, they mistook me for one of them."
Penelope wrapped her hands around Spencer's arm and hugged tight, aware that it could have been much, much worse. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"Me, too. I think the driver of the van was under the influence. They were talking about keeping him there until they could get a breathalyzer."
"Uh, guys, while this is all very touching, my meter is still running and I'd like to know where to drop you off, so I can get home."
Penelope cringed, and very carefully did not look at the meter.
"Just take us to the nearest motel," Emily said, slumping down on the other side of Penelope. Penelope detached a hand from around Reid's arm and patted her gently. Poor thing had probably lost her buzz.
***
"Well, that explains the first phone call I got. Who wants to explain to me the circumstances behind the second phone call?"
"That might have been the Amtrak thing." Prentiss said.
Aaron's gaze narrowed. "What 'Amtrak thing'?"
"Well, we spent the night outside of Baltimore, right?" Reid started, "And we were in a taxi, so we didn't exactly have an easy way to get back."
"But there was an Amtrak station about five miles out," Garcia added. "So we didn't think it would be a big deal to just hop on a train. I mean, it's not like we had anything else planned for our weekend."
"And we were going to come straight home," Prentiss promised, "But then PG's purse got stolen."
Garcia made a face. "Sorry, sir, but it had my badge in it, and my house keys and my credit cards, and my favorite lipstick."
***
Reid stood behind Emily and Garcia in the ticket line, practicing his invisibility. They all looked a little worse for the wear after a night of sleeping in their clothes, and Reid was definitely getting more than a few second looks.
"Did anybody see where the restroom was?" Garcia asked, turning in a lazy, absent-minded circle. "I have to visit the little girl's room."
Emily tilted her head to the far side of the station. "There it is."
"Of course, it would be on the complete opposite end of us," she grumbled, looking around. "All right, don't forget me, I'll be right back." She resettled the strap of her purse on her shoulder and then made her way to the bathroom, completely focused on her destination.
Reid watched her walk away for a moment before edging closer to Emily. He didn't see what happened next, but he knew the sound of Garcia's voice anywhere. Her exclamation of surprise had both Reid and Emily turning to see her flat on the floor, already scrambling to stand as a man in a windbreaker and a baseball cap ran off, Garcia's purse clutched to his chest.
Instinct took over, he already knew Garcia was either okay or going to be so by the way she was rising to her feet. Her assailant, however, was already on his way through the bay doors, so he took off in hot pursuit. He dodged through the crowd, trying to decide which way he would have gone. One of the trains was boarding already, people filing in and out.
Garcia and Emily caught up with him, scanning the crowds as well.
"Did you see him?"
Reid shook his head, still looking, changing his focus from the windbreaker and ball cap to the purse. Being one of Garcia's possessions, it was distinctive enough to stand out in the crowd. A whistle sounded.
"There!" Emily cried, pointing to a man walking by on the loaded train, head ducked down and purse under his arm. She took off, both Reid and Garcia following her as she jumped on the train and headed in the direction they'd last seen him.
They were quiet as they filed through the aisles, trying to politely edge passed the people settling in. It was just their luck that the assailant turned check behind him as they got closer. He saw them and then bolted. They hurried after him, shouting for somebody to stop the man, but as with most instances like this, all people did was gawk and get in the way.
Finally, somebody in the next car over responded quickly, standing up and blocking the aisle to keep the guy from getting around him. He pushed the thief into the chair he'd just been sitting in, and continued to block the aisle as they came up to him, arms crossed over his chest.
"What is going on here?"
***
"And of course that was security," Garcia concluded. "He gave me my purse back, but then when we got off the train we had to file a report with the police and there were charges to press and it was all very long and involved."
"He probably called you because Reid doesn't look very credible in a corset," Prentiss added helpfully.
He had wanted to verify that their credentials were real, Aaron thought. "Keep going. I want to know how you got from Pennsylvania to Atlantic City."
Prentiss raised her hand guiltily. "My fault. We were so close anyway - closer than here, at least - and I knew from AC we could hop on a relatively cheap flight home."
"And let me tell you, sir, that cab fare from here, a hotel room and three train tickets on the fly were not cheap." Garcia said, "So we pimped Puppy here out!"
Reid cleared his throat and shot her a mild glare. "What she means to say is that since there are casinos in Atlantic City -"
"Never mind," Aaron said, pinching the bridge of his nose and giving in to the urge to grab the Tylenol. "I get it. How much did you make?"
"$2,528.87, sir."
Aaron raised an eyebrow and waited.
Reid flushed a little. "Travel, lodging, food. And a change of clothes from the casino gift shop for the three of us."
"Expensive weekend." The three of them looked a little guilty, but said nothing. "So you were finally out of your girlfriend's clothes," Aaron said, "And making money at the casinos. Did you get caught?"
"Not...technically?" Garcia asked, as if that answer would be enough.
Aaron sighed. "Prentiss?"
***
Emily leaned back in her seat at the casino bar and sighed. "Okay, so exactly what kind of laws are we about to be breaking?"
"Technically, none." Reid answered, "Counting cards isn't illegal, it's just highly frowned upon."
"In the breaking kneecaps sense." Garcia added. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Reid shrugged. "I'm pretty sure the kneecaps thing only happens in older, more established parts of Las Vegas. And yeah, it's a solid return on a small investment and an easy way to get back what we've spent all weekend." He smiled a little, lips quirking up at the corners. "Don't worry, I grew up in Vegas, I know better than to get caught."
"And what are we supposed to do while you do your thing?"
Penelope grinned, "Why, sit here and look pretty, obviously!"
Emily huffed a laugh and brought her margarita up for a toast. "Can't argue with that."
Reid smiled and stood. "Give me a couple hours. I'll be back."
Emily and Penelope sat there in the bar and indulged in a few more drinks, sharing idle conversation and bantering back and forth. Occassionally, they'd see Reid passing by as he wandered from one end of the casino to the other. He'd stop at a blackjack table, play a few hands and then go waste a couple dollars on the slot machines. He would get bored and then pass by a poker table and sit down, trading smiles and easy conversation with with other gamblers.
Two hours turned into three, and the girls finally settled up and left the bar. They wandered over to where he was just getting up from another poker table, and Emily touched his shoulder in greeting as they fell into step beside one another.
"Having fun?"
He flashed a self-concious smile. "Kind of. I'd be comfortable if we made about five hundred more, and honestly, I can make that at the slot machines. I'm trying to steer clear of any tables with more serious players. That's not conducive to keeping a low profile. Wait a second," he lowered his voice and came to a slow stop, staring at a blackjack table, "Are you seeing this? Guys, did you just see that?"
"What?" Penelope asked, staring in the same direction.
"No wonder I couldn't win at that table," he muttered, turning around and marching over to one of the hostesses who was walking around. "Excuse me, is there a loss-prevention specialist I can talk to?"
She made a curious face at him and nodded, pointing him to the cashiers. "Go ask for Michael, he can help."
"What are you doing?" Emily hissed, "This is not keeping a low profile!"
"They were being completely blatant about it, Emily. I wouldn't care except for the fact that its tasteless and offensive!"
"Oh, so it's okay to steal from the casino as long as you're subtle about it?"
He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Hi," he flashed a smile. "Can you get Michael for me?"
***
"Really?" Aaron asked. "They were doing the exact same thing you were doing, but you turned them in because they were being obvious about it?"
"Technically, they were doing something different, as I was working alone and didn't have a man on the inside dealing me dirty cards. I was just straight counting, not cheating." Reid responded.
"Apparently this is a very important distinction," Prentiss said dryly.
"Well, it is! Also, for the record, I'd like to point out that I'm always very careful to lose more than I make, anyway. At one point, I could have walked out of there with ten thousand dollars."
"Fine." Aaron leaned back in his chair. "But why did they ask me how old you were?"
Here Reid scowled and crossed his arms. "They didn't believe I was old enough to be gambling anyway."
Aaron finally cracked a smile, which turned into a chuckle, and then full blown laughter. He was aware of Reid, Prentiss and Garcia trading looks as he finally calmed himself. "You're all grounded," he said. "The next time I give you a long weekend, you are to spend it decompressing, quietly, in your homes. Get to work."
Author/Artist: darkhawkhealer
Recipient: jujuberry136
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: +/- 4,575
Warnings/spoilers: none
Summary/prompt: It's Monday morning and Hotch wants to know why he got a phone call from the Jersey police about Reid, Prentiss, and Garcia.
A/N: Thanks to the beta for the go ahead. jujuberry136, I sincerely hope you enjoy this.
Monday morning dawned gray and overcast, typical for autumn in Virginia. Aaron Hotchner pulled into his parking slot with smooth precision and got out, snagging his briefcase and locking his car before heading inside. His pace was measured and assertive, and he spared a nod and half smile for the mail girl as he passed her on his way into the bullpen.
Even that small hint of warmth faded when he saw three of his team lined up outside of his office door. Everything about them screamed guilt; from the way Reid picked at his nails to Garcia's subdued wardrobe (solid colors, only a hint of sparkle at her ears). Even Prentiss chewed her lower lip as she looked hesitantly up at him.
Morgan sat at his desk, staring up at them in undisguised curiosity. "What happened?"
"Later." Aaron said, as he passed Morgan's desk. His tone brooked no argument - not that it usually did - but this time the explanation really would have to wait. Aaron himself had little idea what had happened to put that look on his team's face. All he knew was that he'd received three separate phone calls from various police departments over the weekend, each from a different state, wanting to verify that these miscreants really did work for him.
Aaron unlocked his office door and stood aside to let them file passed him, feet dragging.
Somebody had some explaining to do.
***
Penelope fidgeted in place where she waited next to Reid. They were lined up outside of Hotch's office, studiously avoiding her chocolate seduction's catcalls. She'd already hissed at him that he was going to get them into trouble, but that didn't seem to be stopping him any.
Then Hotch walked in, and Penelope's heart leapt into her throat. He was looking distinctly displeased, and she hated putting that look on his face. He stalked silently passed the three of them and opened his office door, waiting expectantly as they turned and faced him. Penelope knew she had to lead everyone in, but she had to convince her feet not to do what she wanted (run in the opposite direction and hide in her office until he was done being mad at her) first.
Reid nudged her minutely and she started, then walked into the office to stand in front of his desk. Emily and Spencer followed her, and Penelope couldn't help twisting her bracelet nervously when Hotch closed the door behind him and settled into his desk.
He stared at each of them expectantly, letting the silence build. Penelope pressed a hand to the fluttering in her stomach briefly, wondering who was supposed to start.
Apparently, it was Emily.
"Garcia started it, sir!"
The traitor! Penelope's jaw dropped and she leaned forward to see Emily around where Spencer stood in the middle. "Emily!" Her tone was shocked, throwing her pitch higher than normal.
"Well, you did!" Emily hissed. "The kidnapping was totally your fault!"
"How do you figure?" she demanded, indignant now.
"You're the one who said we should go to The Noc Noc!"
"You're the one who thought the rum runners were a good idea!" She retorted.
"Who convinced Reid to dress in drag?" Emily demanded.
"You did!"
"Well, I definitely remember you being the one who said we should follow Reid when he left with those really big guys!"
"They were really big guys, what were we supposed to do, leave him at their mercy?"
"Do we really have to bring that up now?" Reid squeaked.
Penelope patted his arm absently. "Hush, Puppy."
"Don't call him that, you're giving me disturbing mental images!"
"Hey! I am a healthy American male, I can have sex!"
"Yes, but I don't need to picture it at work!"
"Don't listen to her, it's a perfectly cute nickname."
"ALRIGHT!"
Penelope jumped as Hotch leaned forward in his chair and waited until all three of them had fallen silent.
"Reid. Start."
***
Spencer straightened and tried not to fidget under Hotch's stern gaze. He took a deep breath and tried to remember how it had all started.
"Emily and Garcia went to a club to let off some steam after you gave us the weekend. I was there with a friend-"
"A girlfriend," Emily muttered.
"We're just friends," Reid said, ignoring Penelope's snort of disbelief. "And we happened to be in the same bar Emily and Garcia were at..."
***
Spencer wound his way through the crowded bar, ducking guys in studded leather and weaving around girls with orange eye shadow, looking for his companion for the evening.
"PUPPY!" The holler of his nickname caught his attention, and Reid turned to see Abigail Scuito waving him over to a side booth. Her ample cleavage was practically falling out of her corset and the high pigtails made him smile when he reached her. She tugged on his tie to get him to bend down for a chaste (for them) kiss.
"I made friends!" she announced, turning to share her water from the table and introduce him to her companions. "This is Emily and Penny! Can we take her home with us?"
Spencer blinked off his discomfort and looked down at her. "Which?"
"Either," Abby shrugged carelessly, obviously enjoying the look of surprise on the girls' faces.
Spencer grinned a little as he sat next to Abby, tugging affectionately on a pigtail. "Sorry, Kitten, Penny has a boyfriend and they're both my coworkers. Meet Garcia and Prentiss."
Spencer watched as Abby's gaze went from amused to surprised, then vaguely chagrined. "Really? Does this mean I shouldn't have mentioned our sexcapades to them?"
Dread pooled in his stomach. "Tell me you didn't."
"Oh, she did, you sex fiend!" Garcia exclaimed, sitting back and taking a long sip from her straw. "I'm impressed, Puppy, I didn't know you had it in you."
"Repeatedly." Emily interjected, smirking as Garcia erupted into giggles.
Spencer groaned. "Did you tell them about the lab or the taxi?"
"Both?" The buzzing of her pager saved her from his glare. "Oh, crap, I have to go. Wonder if I have time to go home and change first?"
"Go outside and check," Emily suggested. "If you don't, I'm sure Reid wouldn't mind helping you out. You could probably switch clothes with him."
"Emily!" Spencer squeaked, looking over in shock.
"Oh, I like her!"
"You would." Spencer shook his head wryly. "Alright, go see if you have enough time to swing by your place or if you have to go straight to the lab."
"Look at it this way," Garcia said as they all watched Abby leave the bar, "If you end up having to switch clothes with her, you'll be in good company tonight."
"There do seem to be an unusual number of cross-dressers here tonight," Emily noted. "And I don't get the feeling they're the kind who take themselves seriously, either."
"Mmmhmm," Garcia agreed, "Somebody should have told that boy to shave if he was going to go with the fishnets."
Spencer shook his head again. "What are you two even doing here, anyway? Half the reason I like to meet Abby here is because the chances of my running into someone I know from work are exceedingly small."
"I heard about this place," Garcia said, looking around. "And I have to say, I'm pretty impressed. Of course, I never thought we'd run into your girlfriend, either. You've been holding out on us!"
"She's not my girlfriend," he responded. "Why? Did she say she was?"
"Sure," Emily said. "I greet my not-boyfriends like that all the time."
"Abby's always been extremely affectionate, and 'girlfriend' implies a sense of permanency or exclusivity that isn't there. We both work too much for that."
"Damn," Emily said, tilting her head and looking at him thoughtfully. "That sounded almost rational."
Abby returned and wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck, earning a jump of surprise. "Puppy..."
He winced at her wheedling tone. "I don't see why you can't go in like that. You look very nice."
"The last time I went in like this, Tim and Tony couldn't concentrate because they kept staring at me! Gibbs had to smack them twice as much as he usually does! And then he glared at me! Please, Puppy? I don't know if they'll need me in the lab immediately or if I'll have time to change when I get there and I'd really rather not take the chance."
"Yeah, Puppy," Emily said. "Be a hero, help your friend out. After all, we already know you've done it before."
Spencer turned to stare at Abby, who shrugged apologetically. "I might have mentioned that you can rock it better than present company. But I didn't know who they were at the time, and I was totally bragging about how hot you look!"
Spencer sighed. "We'll be right back."
***
Hotch stared, gaze faintly disbelieving. "So you switched clothes with your friend, leaving you in a corset and a skirt."
"And the shoes," Garcia helpfully supplied. She faltered when he looked at her. "Well, it would have looked funny, him being in a skirt with no heels."
"I was going to go straight home and change," Spencer said.
"And it would have been fine," Emily added, "Except for that's when Reid got kidnapped. Remember how we said there were a bunch of other guys walking around in drag?"
***
Emily watched Reid and Abby walk away and shook her head. "I think I need another drink. I don't think I'm drunk enough yet."
"Easy, tiger. These rum runners are no joke."
Emily stared into her glass. It hadn't exactly been the easiest of cases. "Yeah, well..."
PG reached out and squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. "I know. I'm just saying, we should probably watch the booze. Hello," she perked up. "Abby was right, that boy looks GOOD in drag!"
Emily whipped around and craned her head to see over the crowd. "Oh, my god. Is he...?"
"Yeah," Penelope agreed breathlessly. "Wow."
"Well." Emily sat back and considered the sight before her. "I think I know who we're volunteering to do undercover work in the future."
They erupted into giggles, watching with fondness as Reid stomped over to the bar and bellied up, arms crossed in front of him and shoulders hunched. Emily was still amused when a big guy stepped up behind Reid and touched his waist to get his attention. She profiled the guy on instinct, knowing that Reid probably did the same thing when he turned and looked the guy up and down.
College student, maybe. Definitely in the younger end of his 20s. Well-dressed, but still in that young/edgy style. Definitely worked out, if the definition in his biceps and shoulders was anything to go by. Kind of needed a haircut.
So the last observation wasn't strictly a profiler's, but she had been drinking and she was a woman, so she noticed these things.
She also noticed when the guy's hand went to Reid's elbow and he started tugging. Noticed the way Reid planted his feet and resisted, before the guy looked around him to another, burlier man coming up behind Reid to push him along.
"What the hell?" Garcia muttered beside her, watching the same scene.
She may have been drinking, but there was definitely no mistaking the pleading, slightly desperate look Reid threw back at the girls as the two men dragged him outside.
"Did you see that?" Garcia demanded as they both jumped up and began weaving through the crowd. "I mean, did you see that?"
"Yeah, I saw it. Where's your phone?" Emily asked, coming to a stop in the door way, blocking the bouncer and the line waiting to get in. "The men that just came through here, two big guys and another guy in drag. Corset, skirt, collar and heels. Did you see which way they went?"
"Rossi's not answering!"
The bouncer gave them an unimpressed look. "Can you ladies step out of the way, please?"
"Which way did they go?" Emily demanded.
"I wasn't paying attention," he said.
"Emily! Emily, what do I do?"
"Call Hotch!"
"He took Jack to Wolf Mountain Lodge for the weekend!"
"Shit!" The indoor waterpark was a favorite of theirs in the winter. "Morgan?"
"He's in Chicago this weekend, remember?"
***
"Why didn't you call Reid himself?" Aaron asked curiously. "Or the police, for that matter?"
Prentiss had the grace to look embarrassed. "We had been drinking, sir. We didn't remember."
"And I may have left my cell phone at the bar, anyway," Reid volunteered, looking chagrined. "There wasn't exactly a pocket in that skirt."
Aaron spared a fleeting thought to the ibuprofen in his desk drawer. "Continue."
***
Emily looked up and down the empty street, searching for some sign of Reid and the men that took him. Nothing.
"Try Rossi again," Emily ordered, stalking up to the few cabs that were lined against the sidewalk, waiting to pick up responsibly inebriated passengers. She knocked on the window of one and then leaned down when he rolled it down. "Three guys just came out of here, two jocks and a skinny boy in drag. Did you see them?"
He shook his head and she moved on to the next one. "Three guys just came out; one in a skirt and two big jocks, did you see them?"
Another 'no', and now she wanted to cry, scared out of her mind for her friend.
She knocked on the last window. "Two guys just came dragging another, skinnier one in a skirt out of the bar. Did you see them?"
"Lady, there've been a bunch of guys in skirts tonight, and they've all made a mass exodus recently."
Garcia grabbed her arm. "Did you see which way they went?"
The cabbie pointed. "There's a parking garage about a block and a half that way."
Emily and Garcia traded a look and clambered into the back of the cab. "Can you take us there?"
"Lady, it's just a little up the road!"
"Please! We don't have time and this is faster!"
He shrugged and flipped on the meter, then pulled out into the street. He was right, it was a short drive; they were just pulling up to the parking garage when a dark gray van pulled out.
Emily felt her heart jumping into her throat when she recognized the guys sitting in the front. "Follow that van!" she shouted, making the cab driver wince. He sighed and pulled in behind the van, winding through the city and ending up on the highway.
"How long do you want me to follow them?" He asked.
Emily looked at him like he was crazy. "Until they stop!"
He gave her the same look back. "Alright, but I feel I should warn you that it could get expensive. Those are Maryland plates."
***
Aaron bit back a groan. "You crossed state lines."
"We did," Garcia confirmed, shifting in place. "And it would've been fine, except that sometime after we got into Maryland, the yahoos in the van realized that we were following them. So they sped up. So we sped up. And that's when two state patrol cars came up behind us and pulled us over."
***
The cabbie groaned and obediently slowed down onto the shoulder. He popped open the glove compartment and rummaged around in it. "If I get a ticket, you two are explaining it to my boss. And you're paying for it."
"License and registration?"
The driver handed them over without a word.
"Where y'all headed so fast?"
"Federales in the back seat are claiming somebody got kidnapped in the van."
The officer's eyebrows arched up. "Ladies?"
Emily and Penelope dug into their purses for their badges and then passed them up front.
"Please, sir, his name is Dr. Spencer Reid, and he was with us at the club about an hour back. We saw the two guys in the front seat of the van come up on either side of him and start pulling him towards the door, and he didn't know them." Penelope bit her lip. "We're sorry, we're not trying to cause trouble, we just want to know what the heck is going on!"
The officer inspected the badges and then looked over to where the driver of the van was out of the vehicle and leaning against the side of it. "I'm going to go see what's going on, y'all just sit tight."
Penelope laid her head on Emily's shoulder. "I hope he's okay."
Emily squeezed her hand. "It's going to be okay," she murmured, willing herself to believe it.
They watched as the two officers conferred, occasionally talking into the police radios on their shoulders. One of them stuck his head into the van and then the side door opened, and Spencer stumbled out.
"Oh!" Penelope and Emily breathed twin sighs of relief as the officers gave Spencer the once over and shook their heads. The one who had taken their badges walked back with him and opened up the back door so Spencer could climb in.
"I know y'all Feds like to look out for each other," the officer started as he handed back badges and licenses, "But the next time you think one of your boys has gotten kidnapped, the best thing for you to do is to call the police, and this whole mess could've been avoided. And you," here he gave the cab driver a stern look, "the next time two FBI agents commandeer your cab from a bar, call it in to your dispatch. I know you know better than to get caught speeding, so I'm not even going to lecture you on that one."
"Yes, sir."
"Y'all are free to go." He straightened and tapped the roof, then went back to the van while they pulled out onto the road again.
"Spencer!" Penelope exclaimed, "Are you all right? Did they hurt you? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
He shook his head. "I'm fine. Got caught up in some fraternity hazing. Apparently I still look young enough to be a rush, and all those guys in really bad drag that we saw at the bar? They were all pledges. When I switched clothes with Abby, they mistook me for one of them."
Penelope wrapped her hands around Spencer's arm and hugged tight, aware that it could have been much, much worse. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"Me, too. I think the driver of the van was under the influence. They were talking about keeping him there until they could get a breathalyzer."
"Uh, guys, while this is all very touching, my meter is still running and I'd like to know where to drop you off, so I can get home."
Penelope cringed, and very carefully did not look at the meter.
"Just take us to the nearest motel," Emily said, slumping down on the other side of Penelope. Penelope detached a hand from around Reid's arm and patted her gently. Poor thing had probably lost her buzz.
***
"Well, that explains the first phone call I got. Who wants to explain to me the circumstances behind the second phone call?"
"That might have been the Amtrak thing." Prentiss said.
Aaron's gaze narrowed. "What 'Amtrak thing'?"
"Well, we spent the night outside of Baltimore, right?" Reid started, "And we were in a taxi, so we didn't exactly have an easy way to get back."
"But there was an Amtrak station about five miles out," Garcia added. "So we didn't think it would be a big deal to just hop on a train. I mean, it's not like we had anything else planned for our weekend."
"And we were going to come straight home," Prentiss promised, "But then PG's purse got stolen."
Garcia made a face. "Sorry, sir, but it had my badge in it, and my house keys and my credit cards, and my favorite lipstick."
***
Reid stood behind Emily and Garcia in the ticket line, practicing his invisibility. They all looked a little worse for the wear after a night of sleeping in their clothes, and Reid was definitely getting more than a few second looks.
"Did anybody see where the restroom was?" Garcia asked, turning in a lazy, absent-minded circle. "I have to visit the little girl's room."
Emily tilted her head to the far side of the station. "There it is."
"Of course, it would be on the complete opposite end of us," she grumbled, looking around. "All right, don't forget me, I'll be right back." She resettled the strap of her purse on her shoulder and then made her way to the bathroom, completely focused on her destination.
Reid watched her walk away for a moment before edging closer to Emily. He didn't see what happened next, but he knew the sound of Garcia's voice anywhere. Her exclamation of surprise had both Reid and Emily turning to see her flat on the floor, already scrambling to stand as a man in a windbreaker and a baseball cap ran off, Garcia's purse clutched to his chest.
Instinct took over, he already knew Garcia was either okay or going to be so by the way she was rising to her feet. Her assailant, however, was already on his way through the bay doors, so he took off in hot pursuit. He dodged through the crowd, trying to decide which way he would have gone. One of the trains was boarding already, people filing in and out.
Garcia and Emily caught up with him, scanning the crowds as well.
"Did you see him?"
Reid shook his head, still looking, changing his focus from the windbreaker and ball cap to the purse. Being one of Garcia's possessions, it was distinctive enough to stand out in the crowd. A whistle sounded.
"There!" Emily cried, pointing to a man walking by on the loaded train, head ducked down and purse under his arm. She took off, both Reid and Garcia following her as she jumped on the train and headed in the direction they'd last seen him.
They were quiet as they filed through the aisles, trying to politely edge passed the people settling in. It was just their luck that the assailant turned check behind him as they got closer. He saw them and then bolted. They hurried after him, shouting for somebody to stop the man, but as with most instances like this, all people did was gawk and get in the way.
Finally, somebody in the next car over responded quickly, standing up and blocking the aisle to keep the guy from getting around him. He pushed the thief into the chair he'd just been sitting in, and continued to block the aisle as they came up to him, arms crossed over his chest.
"What is going on here?"
***
"And of course that was security," Garcia concluded. "He gave me my purse back, but then when we got off the train we had to file a report with the police and there were charges to press and it was all very long and involved."
"He probably called you because Reid doesn't look very credible in a corset," Prentiss added helpfully.
He had wanted to verify that their credentials were real, Aaron thought. "Keep going. I want to know how you got from Pennsylvania to Atlantic City."
Prentiss raised her hand guiltily. "My fault. We were so close anyway - closer than here, at least - and I knew from AC we could hop on a relatively cheap flight home."
"And let me tell you, sir, that cab fare from here, a hotel room and three train tickets on the fly were not cheap." Garcia said, "So we pimped Puppy here out!"
Reid cleared his throat and shot her a mild glare. "What she means to say is that since there are casinos in Atlantic City -"
"Never mind," Aaron said, pinching the bridge of his nose and giving in to the urge to grab the Tylenol. "I get it. How much did you make?"
"$2,528.87, sir."
Aaron raised an eyebrow and waited.
Reid flushed a little. "Travel, lodging, food. And a change of clothes from the casino gift shop for the three of us."
"Expensive weekend." The three of them looked a little guilty, but said nothing. "So you were finally out of your girlfriend's clothes," Aaron said, "And making money at the casinos. Did you get caught?"
"Not...technically?" Garcia asked, as if that answer would be enough.
Aaron sighed. "Prentiss?"
***
Emily leaned back in her seat at the casino bar and sighed. "Okay, so exactly what kind of laws are we about to be breaking?"
"Technically, none." Reid answered, "Counting cards isn't illegal, it's just highly frowned upon."
"In the breaking kneecaps sense." Garcia added. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Reid shrugged. "I'm pretty sure the kneecaps thing only happens in older, more established parts of Las Vegas. And yeah, it's a solid return on a small investment and an easy way to get back what we've spent all weekend." He smiled a little, lips quirking up at the corners. "Don't worry, I grew up in Vegas, I know better than to get caught."
"And what are we supposed to do while you do your thing?"
Penelope grinned, "Why, sit here and look pretty, obviously!"
Emily huffed a laugh and brought her margarita up for a toast. "Can't argue with that."
Reid smiled and stood. "Give me a couple hours. I'll be back."
Emily and Penelope sat there in the bar and indulged in a few more drinks, sharing idle conversation and bantering back and forth. Occassionally, they'd see Reid passing by as he wandered from one end of the casino to the other. He'd stop at a blackjack table, play a few hands and then go waste a couple dollars on the slot machines. He would get bored and then pass by a poker table and sit down, trading smiles and easy conversation with with other gamblers.
Two hours turned into three, and the girls finally settled up and left the bar. They wandered over to where he was just getting up from another poker table, and Emily touched his shoulder in greeting as they fell into step beside one another.
"Having fun?"
He flashed a self-concious smile. "Kind of. I'd be comfortable if we made about five hundred more, and honestly, I can make that at the slot machines. I'm trying to steer clear of any tables with more serious players. That's not conducive to keeping a low profile. Wait a second," he lowered his voice and came to a slow stop, staring at a blackjack table, "Are you seeing this? Guys, did you just see that?"
"What?" Penelope asked, staring in the same direction.
"No wonder I couldn't win at that table," he muttered, turning around and marching over to one of the hostesses who was walking around. "Excuse me, is there a loss-prevention specialist I can talk to?"
She made a curious face at him and nodded, pointing him to the cashiers. "Go ask for Michael, he can help."
"What are you doing?" Emily hissed, "This is not keeping a low profile!"
"They were being completely blatant about it, Emily. I wouldn't care except for the fact that its tasteless and offensive!"
"Oh, so it's okay to steal from the casino as long as you're subtle about it?"
He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Hi," he flashed a smile. "Can you get Michael for me?"
***
"Really?" Aaron asked. "They were doing the exact same thing you were doing, but you turned them in because they were being obvious about it?"
"Technically, they were doing something different, as I was working alone and didn't have a man on the inside dealing me dirty cards. I was just straight counting, not cheating." Reid responded.
"Apparently this is a very important distinction," Prentiss said dryly.
"Well, it is! Also, for the record, I'd like to point out that I'm always very careful to lose more than I make, anyway. At one point, I could have walked out of there with ten thousand dollars."
"Fine." Aaron leaned back in his chair. "But why did they ask me how old you were?"
Here Reid scowled and crossed his arms. "They didn't believe I was old enough to be gambling anyway."
Aaron finally cracked a smile, which turned into a chuckle, and then full blown laughter. He was aware of Reid, Prentiss and Garcia trading looks as he finally calmed himself. "You're all grounded," he said. "The next time I give you a long weekend, you are to spend it decompressing, quietly, in your homes. Get to work."