i hate gravesides...ive never seen her cry before. ive never seen her fake a smile. she loved him, and now hes dead...im sorry jane...he was a great guy. and now hes...gone. another funneral i didnt cry at...another fight with myself. i should have, i should have cryed with her, but i stood there and sucked it in...like alwase. god damn it ( Read more... )

THANKSGIVING ( Read more... )

getting stronger...got to. january is almost here. itll make it ten years...i think. yea, ten whole years. wow... god i miss him...i wish it was me instead of him sometimes. i just miss him...cant cry. promised i wouldnt...especially on that of days. 12th i gotta wear colors...the flag, his mark of life...and the ones who took it. i hate them...i ( Read more... )

haha.."ouchies" are a joke too. im just playing around too. you dont hurt me..not at all.and the reason i didnt tell you was because i knew you would get scared..so i didnt say anything...about the secret. thats why i dont tell...people are like aww cant do that. im not going to break or anything. and it dosnt bring up memories... its not like that ( Read more... )

fuck it just fuck it. this is all to familiar, this is just like last time ( Read more... )

i cant take care of her on my own..and you know it. but i will... i just need you with me. i need you here lynda... and so does she. if you leave itll kill her.. itll tear her from the inside out and you know it. itll kill me too...I NEED YOU!! she needs you ( Read more... )

me and rachel are ok...but right now i cant think about it. im too worried about lynda... ill lose it if she leaves. i mean she understands things...she like family. i love her..and micheal ann to death. id be lost without the two of them. id go crazy... they alwase help with stuff...they are my friends. my true friends... i care about them more ( Read more... )

so much just went through my head...im worried. lynda if your reading this please dont so anyhting stupid...i could never forgive myself.id be alone...i need you here. please be here...please be ok.i dont want you to leave. i dont want to be alone anymore...please say something. please god...be at school tommorrow. i wont make it without you..or ( Read more... )

well it got boring...and well i was bored... but i didnt have to go to that stupid meeting for the people to people thing. hmm..mom wants to go to bed..

great i get to go to sleep...yea.haha..

Dead Dreams ( Read more... )