I really need a job.

Nov 02, 2009 15:50

So, my grandfather is trying to get me a job in a Christian bookstore.

On the one hand, it'd be work. I really, really need a job. To the point where I can't turn down anything that pays more than minimum wage.

On the other... It's a Christian bookstore, and I live in the bible belt. And if I were held down and forced to identify with a particular religious philosophy on pain of death, I'd call myself a Stoic. Actually, I call myself a Stoic anyway; it's a noble philosophy which provides a code of conduct that makes sense even if you don't believe in a deity at all, and the number of people killed for refusing to convert to Stoicism is so low that I don't know of any. Not that there couldn't have been any, I imagine there was at least one would-be philosopher with an unfortunate weakness for drink who ended up starting a bar brawl or something...

But the point is, I'm not big on orthodox Christian dogma. I could totally do the work without complaint, but the second I'm required to have a conversation about how Obama is the antichrist or how all the gays will burn in Hell, or how all non-Christians will burn in Hell really, or how despite the fact that the God responsible for everything is omniscient and omnipotent, but the best plan he can come up with to prevent eternal damnation only has a 33% success rate... well, I know myself. I'm sure to say something unfortunate.

I can feel hilarity around me, threatening to ensue. Despite this, I'm still going to put in an application because I need work. Stay tuned, kids, this promises to be a LAFF RIOT.

~Chaotic Neutral 
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