Ways to Say, "No"
Use of appropriate social skills is important because you do not want to be a "social reject" if you can avoid it. People don't like to be put down or disapproved of. If you put down others, or use other forms of verbal aggression, it can backfire on you.
Try to avoid phrases like:
Alcohol is evil
You guys are jerks for drinking
Alcohol is for losers
I don't like people who drink
Why might people feel the urge to speak aggressively and put others down when they say no to pressure? (talk about feeling people naturally have in pressure/stressful situations. For some people heightened anxiety prompts aggressive feelings)
Instead, be assertive. Assertive statements express feelings in a confident way to ensure the rights of self and others. It is your right to say no.
The first approach to try is an easy going, but firm approach. Imagine you are a vegetarian and you don't want to eat meat. Or perhaps you are on a diet and you don't want a piece of Cake or You have seen the Nutty Professor and don't EVER want to again, but that's where everyone wants to go.
No thanks. I don't eat red meat. ---No thanks. I don't drink.
No thanks. I'm fine right now. -----No thanks. I'm fine right now.
No thanks! Let's see________. ------No thanks! I'd rather have a coke.
People feel subtle social pressure all the time. It seems more important when you are a junior and senior high than it will later in life. In order to learn to say "No" assertively, it is like any other skill. It must be planned for and practiced.
Other approaches:
Try Humor:
"My horoscope said, "Not tonight!"
"Drinking gives me nightmares"
"I'm trying to be less popular"
Or Change the Subject:
Is the (Disturbed, Godsmack, Limp Bizkit) concert sold out? I heard it was.
Where did you get that shirt? It's a great color on you.
Do you know if _______ is here yet?
Move to Another Group:
Oh, there's Mark. Later...
Wow, Kayla looks hot. Got to go.
Or Offer Excuses Which Make Sense Such as
Consequences:
I can't. My parents will kill me and they ALWAYS find out.
My mother smells my breath when I come in.
I can't take a chance of being grounded. I'm going ________ tomorrow.
My parents would freak.
My coach will kick me off the team.
Safety:
I'm driving.
I'm the designated driver.
There are two alcoholics in my family. I'm not taking any chances.
I get hives, break out, etc.
Sports/Health
I'm in training.
It will affect my time, speed, etc.
Too many calories. I'm sticking to diet soda.
I've got practice/game/got to run/work out tomorrow.
I feel nauseous when I drink.
I vomit every time!
Most people your age would understand these reasons and probably feel some of the same worries too!
If the pressure becomes heavy and persistent, there is some relief in numbers. Join your closest friends and move on, or if that doesn't work, it is best to leave. Chances are, you weren't going to have fun anyway.
Oh, by the way... any grammar issues there can be taken care of this: [sic]
Just one more point added on for the ridiculousness.
Try to avoid phrases like:
Alcohol is evil
You guys are jerks for drinking
Alcohol is for losers
I don't like people who drink
Why might people feel the urge to speak aggressively and put others down when they say no to pressure? (talk about feeling people naturally have in pressure/stressful situations. For some people heightened anxiety prompts aggressive feelings)
Instead, be assertive. Assertive statements express feelings in a confident way to ensure the rights of self and others. It is your right to say no.
The first approach to try is an easy going, but firm approach. Imagine you are a vegetarian and you don't want to eat meat. Or perhaps you are on a diet and you don't want a piece of Cake or You have seen the Nutty Professor and don't EVER want to again, but that's where everyone wants to go.
No thanks. I don't eat red meat. ---No thanks. I don't drink.
No thanks. I'm fine right now. -----No thanks. I'm fine right now.
No thanks! Let's see________. ------No thanks! I'd rather have a coke.
People feel subtle social pressure all the time. It seems more important when you are a junior and senior high than it will later in life. In order to learn to say "No" assertively, it is like any other skill. It must be planned for and practiced.
Other approaches:
Try Humor:
"My horoscope said, "Not tonight!"
"Drinking gives me nightmares"
"I'm trying to be less popular"
Or Change the Subject:
Is the (Disturbed, Godsmack, Limp Bizkit) concert sold out? I heard it was.
Where did you get that shirt? It's a great color on you.
Do you know if _______ is here yet?
Move to Another Group:
Oh, there's Mark. Later...
Wow, Kayla looks hot. Got to go.
Or Offer Excuses Which Make Sense Such as
Consequences:
I can't. My parents will kill me and they ALWAYS find out.
My mother smells my breath when I come in.
I can't take a chance of being grounded. I'm going ________ tomorrow.
My parents would freak.
My coach will kick me off the team.
Safety:
I'm driving.
I'm the designated driver.
There are two alcoholics in my family. I'm not taking any chances.
I get hives, break out, etc.
Sports/Health
I'm in training.
It will affect my time, speed, etc.
Too many calories. I'm sticking to diet soda.
I've got practice/game/got to run/work out tomorrow.
I feel nauseous when I drink.
I vomit every time!
Most people your age would understand these reasons and probably feel some of the same worries too!
If the pressure becomes heavy and persistent, there is some relief in numbers. Join your closest friends and move on, or if that doesn't work, it is best to leave. Chances are, you weren't going to have fun anyway.
Oh, by the way... any grammar issues there can be taken care of this: [sic]
Just one more point added on for the ridiculousness.