thanks to rachel...
I wonder when people will realize that the "scene" has become
homogeneous. It's full of 14 year old girls with uneven bangs, black
and white striped shirts, and tattered low-top black Chuck Taylors, who
swoon over homosexual kissing and pathetic whiny lyrics and overuse the
symbols.
Their favorite quote is, invariably, "The truth is you could slit
my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for
bleeding on your shirt" because it like, so totally describes their
relationship with that one HAWT sophomore who totally ripped their
hearts out when they were like, SO in love with him.
Their favorite type of music is, of course, "emo, screamo, and
hardcore", three terms which, in their minds, invariably include the
bands Taking Back Sunday, Thrice, and Hawthorne Heights.
Their AIM screennames often include x's, the words "electrikk",
"disaster", or some play on their favorite song from their favorite
band, you know, the one they saw on MTV like a couple times, but
shouldn't be on MTV because they're like, way too emo for that.
They take hundreds of black and white pictures with way too much
contrast of themselves looking plaintively down at the ground, pointing
a gun made of their fingers at their heads, or kissing the camera while
displaying their expert application of lip gloss around their labret
piercing and the thick dark eyeliner that circles their eyes.
They embrace the "dork" that is inside their polished, fashionable
exteriors by writing in their LiveJournals or Xangas about how they and
their friends had an 'N Sync sing-a-long at one of their sleepovers
because, remember, 'N Sync is soooo not popular anymore and they like,
sooo wouldn't follow any of the fads of today, so they embrace the fads
of yesterday.
They adore "retro fashion", meaning anything from the 80's,
because they totally used to wear neon colors and big beaded bracelets,
even though they were born in, at the earliest, 1988 and remember jack
shit about the fashion and culture of the 80's.
It's full of "emo boys" who often are difficult to differentiate
from "emo girls", who have meaningless tattoos even though they're 15,
smoke a lot of cigarettes, drink a lot of hard liquor, and are in some
shitty band that plays a couple of gigs in someone's basement because
they're "too cool to go mainstream" when really, they just suck.
They weigh roughly 90 pounds, wear girls' jeans that hug their
asses in just the right places, belts buckled somewhere around the side
of their right leg, tight striped 80's style polo shirts or band
t-shirts, and skater shoes, even though they don't skate because that's
soooo lame.
They write awful poetry about the dark abyss of their souls and
how the gun is pointed at their heads, the trigger poised to blast away
the bloody memories of a failed romance. They cried when Blink-182
broke up, and they have a secret obsession with Avril Lavigne because,
like, she really IS kinda hot even though her music totally sucks.
They spend more time at the mirror than their female counterparts
do, making sure that the long black shock of hair at the front of their
heads lies covering one eye just so, that their lip piercing is
perfectly placed so that it looks hot when they kiss other boys, that
their pants are the right degree of tightness so as not to exude
gayness.
Emo boys and girls often use the suffix "Xcore" to describe
themselves, using a number of adjectives or nouns to accomplish this
task. This is a play off hardcore music, or "hXc". Some of these
descriptive words include "fashionXcore", "retroXcore", or even
"yournamehereXcore."
This way of speaking is retarded or nonsensical to everyone else
except those "in the scene", but it totally doesn't matter because
they're too nonconformistXcore for anyone to truly understand their
"scene".
They couldn't name a Sunny Day Real Estate or Rites of Spring song
if it came up and bit them on their Gap Jeans-clad asses, and they
claim to like the Smiths because Jesse Lacey of Brand New said they
were cool.
Sure, they listen to some new "emoXcore" bands, but they're all pretty much the same five bands:
1. Taking Back Sunday
2. Senses Fail
3. Thrice
4. Hawthorne Heights
5. Story of the Year
To these promising young firecrackers, music takes a backseat to fashion in their scene of choice.
Emo girls just want to kiss emo boys, emo boys just want to kiss
other emo boys, and they all want to wear tight pants and take lots of
pictures of themselves. End of story. Because honestly? It's electrikk!