this chapter is very much so draging out but it did indeed end contently rather then beautifully so I'm here to say , no this isn't hard just a pain. and a pain is what drives me to keep going. I'm on top and i will not break so let this be a lesson .... love is.

i never knew what was a heavy heart ( Read more... )

the chapter never ended beautifully.... its still fucking going. it became ugly and now when all hope is lost..... the chapter peeks.....

the best part is how you dont tell anyone. you really think no one influences you but you feel like shit if they said i told you so. and you feel like shit ( Read more... )

the clear sky above me finally spoke. the thoughts in the smoke formed a real picture. the warmth of the sun didn't burn. its all over now. nothing but excitement for myself and hope for the best. i stumbled upon a dead lizard with my eyes. it could only represent so much the way i saw it. but this isnt about complexity. its about how simple it all ( Read more... )

so its come to the point of a week that my instability is overwhelming and showing in school. i have extreme highs and lows like a manic depressive but thats ok cause i can still see i'm having them and im not lost in them. so! their best described as clicks. click on click off. i call on as in me being logical and simply focusing on reality while ( Read more... )

yea so i ve come to realize i did set myself up. though the actions were wrong and it was a terrible blow to me i guess i should of handled it better.

so time has repeated itself and i m going insane. i didn't think i have the strength to do this again. i cant believe when i finally learned what love really was when i finally was ready to get over my past and move on forever from high school bullshit emotions.... i get one more blow to the face. and its so familiar to the point that i could ( Read more... )

this is getting tot he point of where the churning feeling in my gut is getting me to scream out WHY THE FUCK DID IT HAPPEN THIS WAY. why is it that ever sure feeling i had with someone turns to shit or i never got that chance and when i have the chance they find someone AND experience everything i could of gave them. WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO ( Read more... )

i hit a new low now.

i officialy admit i need a woman in my life to control me and have me take care of her in order to avoid a drug adict sex aholic life style. but i wont go back to jessica she deserves better.