Letter to Fuji
Title: Letter to Fuji
Characters: Fuji Syuusuke
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I have so many things to say to fujiiko but I'm not getting through to him. I don't even know how I'm supposed to play him anymore when his intentions and mine are so different. I'm not going to have a repeat of tensaiteki's heartache if I can help it.
Fuji, what am I going to do with you?
In the first place, I sent you to Paris because I thought distance would be the only way for you to forget. You love Paris; it's romantic and beautiful, and it's where you found success and friendships. Paris was what made you who you are, from well-cared tresses to the crisp Armani shirt you are wearing, down to well-tailored Versace pants and seasoned leather shoes. This is who you are and this was who I set you out to be. Worldly and other-worldly, gorgeous and glamorous and yet not unapproachable even if that is what you portray with the gentle crook of your wrist, Yves Saint Laurent cigarette in between poised fingers. Smile because it holds your secrets. You want them to think you have secrets, but the biggest secret of all is the fact that you don't have any.
Supposedly.
Fuji, Fuji, Fuji.
He's lovely in his own ways, but he isn't for you. He has his heart on other things. He thinks of you, but not enough. You deserve more than this. If he doesn't love you, Fuji, I do. I want the best for you - sometimes I tell you to look at the other boys. Isn't Niou a handsome one, and Tezuka is wonderful, isn't he? But Fuji, why are you looking at the other side of the bar again? Fuji, are you listening to me?
You're not supposed to step into the plane with your heart still in shreds, but you do because you don't want to escape anymore (the truth is you want to see him again). Fuji, I've had enough. I want you to stop and think about this. You don't want to lose his friendship, and yet this friendship is the curse of the love you bear inside your heart. Fuji, stop looking at him and look at me. I see the blue so clearly, like light and day, and you are still smiling at me and nodding your head but - Fuji, why are you lying to me?
You're going to say "I'm alright, why would you think otherwise?" and anyone else would believe that smile. But I don't. I'm horrified and I don't know what to do. You keep smiling at the sky, so blue they're almost bluer than your own eyes, and you look like you know what you're going to do. I don't. Fuji, Fuji, he's not the one for you. It hurts because I know and you don't. Or you pretend not to.
What are you going to do now, stepping out of the plane? Your steps are light and so is your gaze, but I see the sadness behind your smile. In spite of everything, you've come back.
For him.
Stay in Paris. Don't return. Or look for love in the right places. Go back to fucking. Have at it with whiskey. Have a smoke. Why are you stopping for him? What's the point?
You're still smiling, Fuji.
You're not listening to me.
Characters: Fuji Syuusuke
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I have so many things to say to fujiiko but I'm not getting through to him. I don't even know how I'm supposed to play him anymore when his intentions and mine are so different. I'm not going to have a repeat of tensaiteki's heartache if I can help it.
Fuji, what am I going to do with you?
In the first place, I sent you to Paris because I thought distance would be the only way for you to forget. You love Paris; it's romantic and beautiful, and it's where you found success and friendships. Paris was what made you who you are, from well-cared tresses to the crisp Armani shirt you are wearing, down to well-tailored Versace pants and seasoned leather shoes. This is who you are and this was who I set you out to be. Worldly and other-worldly, gorgeous and glamorous and yet not unapproachable even if that is what you portray with the gentle crook of your wrist, Yves Saint Laurent cigarette in between poised fingers. Smile because it holds your secrets. You want them to think you have secrets, but the biggest secret of all is the fact that you don't have any.
Supposedly.
Fuji, Fuji, Fuji.
He's lovely in his own ways, but he isn't for you. He has his heart on other things. He thinks of you, but not enough. You deserve more than this. If he doesn't love you, Fuji, I do. I want the best for you - sometimes I tell you to look at the other boys. Isn't Niou a handsome one, and Tezuka is wonderful, isn't he? But Fuji, why are you looking at the other side of the bar again? Fuji, are you listening to me?
You're not supposed to step into the plane with your heart still in shreds, but you do because you don't want to escape anymore (the truth is you want to see him again). Fuji, I've had enough. I want you to stop and think about this. You don't want to lose his friendship, and yet this friendship is the curse of the love you bear inside your heart. Fuji, stop looking at him and look at me. I see the blue so clearly, like light and day, and you are still smiling at me and nodding your head but - Fuji, why are you lying to me?
You're going to say "I'm alright, why would you think otherwise?" and anyone else would believe that smile. But I don't. I'm horrified and I don't know what to do. You keep smiling at the sky, so blue they're almost bluer than your own eyes, and you look like you know what you're going to do. I don't. Fuji, Fuji, he's not the one for you. It hurts because I know and you don't. Or you pretend not to.
What are you going to do now, stepping out of the plane? Your steps are light and so is your gaze, but I see the sadness behind your smile. In spite of everything, you've come back.
For him.
Stay in Paris. Don't return. Or look for love in the right places. Go back to fucking. Have at it with whiskey. Have a smoke. Why are you stopping for him? What's the point?
You're still smiling, Fuji.
You're not listening to me.