Hello, friends. My phone dropped out of my pocket yesterday and is now being held hostage by the man who found it. Because I cannot afford to pay him the reward he's asking for, there's a good chance I won't have a phone for a while. Please don't call my phone, and disregard any calls you get from it. Other than that, I can be reached via email or
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Or tell him you're gonna pay him, set up a meeting, and get a bunch of friends to beat the shit out of that scumbag.
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