So it comes to this!
My, my... so with another Year ended and listings beginning anew (argh!) I can now reveal my Top 10 Best and Worst films and games of 2009!
It has been a strenuous process this time... a lot of mediocre films this year! I won't take up any more of your friends' page. LJ cut of doom!
99 Films! *gasp*
Chronologically left-to-right
No Country for Old Men The Guardian In the Valley of Elah
Death Sentence Tea with Mussolini There will be Blood
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford 30 Days of Night
Enchanted Sicko Daywatch
Hamlet (1996) Restless Natives 10,000bc
Watchmen Ping Pong Kalifornia
The Talented Mr Ripley A Time to Kill
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead The Orhanage Sexy Beast
Dreamcatcher American Graffiti Cronos
American Psycho Perfume: The Story of a Murderer Ice Cold in Alex
The Wild Bunch X-Men Origins: Wolverine Resident Evil: Extinction
Star Trek Juno State of Play
Be Kind Rewind Son of Rambow Letters from Iwo Jima
Monsters Vs Aliens Angels and Demons Terminator Salvation
Tropic Thunder Amistad
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Resident Evil: Degeneration The Spirit
Carrie Inkheart The Hangover
Public Enemies The Bank Job Coach Carter
Garden State Defiance High Noon
The English Patient Harry Potter 6 The Taking of Pelham 123
In Bruges Friday the 13th (1980)
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Inglorious Basterds Funny People
Dead Again District 9 Dorian Gray
The Crying Game Dragon Wars Death Race
Slumdog Millionnaire Surrogates The Forbidden Kingdom
The Shipping News Bleach: Fade to Black
3D Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs Pandorum Velvet Goldmine
UP Zombieland Bonnie and Clyde
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus 9 Checkout
Body of Lies The Twilight Samurai Harry Brown
Men who Stare at Goats 2012 Click
Bolt Baraka Good Will Hunting
Gran Turino Gi Joe: The Rise of Cobra Intolerable Cruelty
Mulholland Falls Teeth Thank You for Smoking
Elizabeth Elizabethtown
(Let it be repeated... The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford IS A RETARDEDLY LONG TITLE FOR A FILM!!!!!)
Alright, the top ten BEST. In ascending order as always:
10 - Enchanted - Uplifting, fun and entertaining. Sure its story isn't original... but it is harmless fun.
09 - Bolt - Surprisingly good! I clearly underestimated this one; great animation.
08 - Public Enemies - Michael Mann back on form. Wonderfully shot in digital, capturing 1930s America
07 - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Still nostalgic fun, but a complete visual & narrative mess.
06 - Terminator Salvation - Unfairly bashed! Solid action movie, great addition to the series.
05 - Inkheart - Creative, witty and greatly entertaining! A underrated gem of storytelling.
04 - Cronos - Dark, bloody, morbid but with a snappy sense of purpose. Vampire films are never this good!
03 - Good Will Hunting - Greatly moving and compelling. I was very impressed with the story and acting.
02 - District 9 - Hard, bleak and intensely gripping. At last a unique sci-fi blockbuster!
01 - UP - Once again, Pixar pulls at heartstrings, tickles funny bones and dazzles eyes. This film truly stood out.
Notables:
Tropic Thunder, Garden State, Inglorious Basterds, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Star Trek, Hamlet (1996)
Now the WORST... in ascending (or indeed descending) order. The films you should really avoid:
10 - Juno - I didn't get it. Overrated, and the character developments make no sense.
09 - There Will be Blood - Boooring... didn't grip me at all, long and tedious to a "startling" miss-fire end...
08 - The Bank Job - Obnoxious and probably the least rivetting bank raid I've ever witnessed.
07 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I love Origin stories... or at least when they tell me something new...
06 - Daywatch - Wtf. Where did the atomic powered yo-yo come from?? Just... insane...
05 - The Crying Game - Boooring, so... so... boring.
04 - Body of Lies - Ridley Scott WHY are you making these films?? Not the least bit of care struck me.
03 - Resident Evil: Extinction - Why wouldn't this be here?
02 - Perfume the Story of a Murderer - It's not number 1! *Activate Uber Smelling power!* Utterly stupid.
01 - Zombieland - It missed all of its potential punches. Massively overrated and made a fatal mistake.
Not-Notables:
Friday the 13th (1980), Checkout, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Monsters Vs Aliens, Funny People, Baraka, 10,000bc
Games! Only 49 of these. (Bear in mind... the last three games are too recent to qualify into lists! Next year!)
Soul Calibur 4 Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Dash of Destruction
Wii Fit Peggle Nights The Maw (demo)
Resident Evil 5 (demo) Okami Psychonauts
Hawx (demo) Halo Wars (demo) Prince of Persia
Street Fighter 4 The Darkness Gears of War
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men Unreal Tournament 3 Rez HD (demo)
Mirror's Edge Assassin's Creed Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2
Frontlines: Fuel of War Battlefield: Bad Company Red Faction: Guerilla (demo)
Croc: Legend of the Gobbos Alien Vs Predator 2 Deadly Creatures
Madworld Banjo Tooie Red Faction: Guerilla
Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad Transformers 1 Vs 100
Peggle Secret of Monkey Island Prince of Persia Original
Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Batman: Arkham Asylum (demo)
Professor Layton and the Curious Village Hotel Dusk: Room 215 Fallout 3
WiiSports Resort Gears of War 2 Borderlands
Dead Space Final Fantasy 9 Lego Batman
Dragon Age: Origins
The BEST:
10 - Alien Vs Predator 2 - Play as the marine and this old game is still scary. Can't wait for the remake!
09 - Unreal Tournament 3 - Surprisingly fun. Maybe not as good as UT2004, but classic multiplayer fest!
08 - Mirror's Edge - Gorgeous visuals (pinching from Portal) and interesting gameplay.
07 - Assassin's Creed - While tedious and drawn out, it has fantastic visuals and gameplay mechanics.
06 - Lost Planet: Extreme Condition - Fighting colossal monsters in mechs? Why wouldn't I love this?
05 - Red Faction: Guerilla - Free Roaming, free destruction. Destroying everything has never been so fun.
04 - Okami - A beautifully crafted game, even uses the Wii to marvelous effect. Must play this more!
03 - Prince of Persia - Fantastic visual style, flawless, simplistic controls and witty dialogue. Easy, but fun!
02 - Professor Layton and the Curious Village - Put me in a new gear of gaming. Definitely occupied me!
01 - Borderlands - Tough call as I really want to play it more with friends! But great gameplay and style.
The WORST:
10 - Resident Evil 5 (demo) - As I still haven't got the full game... clearly the demo didn't grip me.
09 - Kane & Lynch: Dead Men - Quite... samey. Some retarded good enemy intelligence, ie, snipers...
08 - Battlefield: Bad Company - Showing its age, elements not as perfect as they could be.. pretty boring.
07 - Fallout 3 - Dreary looks makes "free-roaming" unapealling. Plagued by invisible walls and uncanny valley.
06 - Gears of War - What was the fuss about? Retarded testosterone nonsense. Unimaginative & repetitive.
05 - Hawx (demo) - When the multiplayer kicks off... planes circle themselves again.. and again... and again..
04 - Deadly Creatures - Lost so much potential, became sluggish and uninvolving.
03 - Transformers - So mind numbingly tedious! Wow, and I completed this on the Wii!
02 - Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad - Breasts, check. IMPOSSIBLE GAMEPLAY SECTIONS? Check.
01 - Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2 - Again... Breasts, check. Point? None.
Only Tommy would subject me to the worst game I've ever played!
*breath sigh of relief* I can let go of 2009 now, haha.
I hope you enjoyed reading over it all =)
It has been a strenuous process this time... a lot of mediocre films this year! I won't take up any more of your friends' page. LJ cut of doom!
99 Films! *gasp*
Chronologically left-to-right
No Country for Old Men The Guardian In the Valley of Elah
Death Sentence Tea with Mussolini There will be Blood
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford 30 Days of Night
Enchanted Sicko Daywatch
Hamlet (1996) Restless Natives 10,000bc
Watchmen Ping Pong Kalifornia
The Talented Mr Ripley A Time to Kill
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead The Orhanage Sexy Beast
Dreamcatcher American Graffiti Cronos
American Psycho Perfume: The Story of a Murderer Ice Cold in Alex
The Wild Bunch X-Men Origins: Wolverine Resident Evil: Extinction
Star Trek Juno State of Play
Be Kind Rewind Son of Rambow Letters from Iwo Jima
Monsters Vs Aliens Angels and Demons Terminator Salvation
Tropic Thunder Amistad
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Resident Evil: Degeneration The Spirit
Carrie Inkheart The Hangover
Public Enemies The Bank Job Coach Carter
Garden State Defiance High Noon
The English Patient Harry Potter 6 The Taking of Pelham 123
In Bruges Friday the 13th (1980)
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Inglorious Basterds Funny People
Dead Again District 9 Dorian Gray
The Crying Game Dragon Wars Death Race
Slumdog Millionnaire Surrogates The Forbidden Kingdom
The Shipping News Bleach: Fade to Black
3D Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs Pandorum Velvet Goldmine
UP Zombieland Bonnie and Clyde
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus 9 Checkout
Body of Lies The Twilight Samurai Harry Brown
Men who Stare at Goats 2012 Click
Bolt Baraka Good Will Hunting
Gran Turino Gi Joe: The Rise of Cobra Intolerable Cruelty
Mulholland Falls Teeth Thank You for Smoking
Elizabeth Elizabethtown
(Let it be repeated... The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford IS A RETARDEDLY LONG TITLE FOR A FILM!!!!!)
Alright, the top ten BEST. In ascending order as always:
10 - Enchanted - Uplifting, fun and entertaining. Sure its story isn't original... but it is harmless fun.
09 - Bolt - Surprisingly good! I clearly underestimated this one; great animation.
08 - Public Enemies - Michael Mann back on form. Wonderfully shot in digital, capturing 1930s America
07 - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Still nostalgic fun, but a complete visual & narrative mess.
06 - Terminator Salvation - Unfairly bashed! Solid action movie, great addition to the series.
05 - Inkheart - Creative, witty and greatly entertaining! A underrated gem of storytelling.
04 - Cronos - Dark, bloody, morbid but with a snappy sense of purpose. Vampire films are never this good!
03 - Good Will Hunting - Greatly moving and compelling. I was very impressed with the story and acting.
02 - District 9 - Hard, bleak and intensely gripping. At last a unique sci-fi blockbuster!
01 - UP - Once again, Pixar pulls at heartstrings, tickles funny bones and dazzles eyes. This film truly stood out.
Notables:
Tropic Thunder, Garden State, Inglorious Basterds, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Star Trek, Hamlet (1996)
Now the WORST... in ascending (or indeed descending) order. The films you should really avoid:
10 - Juno - I didn't get it. Overrated, and the character developments make no sense.
09 - There Will be Blood - Boooring... didn't grip me at all, long and tedious to a "startling" miss-fire end...
08 - The Bank Job - Obnoxious and probably the least rivetting bank raid I've ever witnessed.
07 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I love Origin stories... or at least when they tell me something new...
06 - Daywatch - Wtf. Where did the atomic powered yo-yo come from?? Just... insane...
05 - The Crying Game - Boooring, so... so... boring.
04 - Body of Lies - Ridley Scott WHY are you making these films?? Not the least bit of care struck me.
03 - Resident Evil: Extinction - Why wouldn't this be here?
02 - Perfume the Story of a Murderer - It's not number 1! *Activate Uber Smelling power!* Utterly stupid.
01 - Zombieland - It missed all of its potential punches. Massively overrated and made a fatal mistake.
Not-Notables:
Friday the 13th (1980), Checkout, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Monsters Vs Aliens, Funny People, Baraka, 10,000bc
Games! Only 49 of these. (Bear in mind... the last three games are too recent to qualify into lists! Next year!)
Soul Calibur 4 Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Dash of Destruction
Wii Fit Peggle Nights The Maw (demo)
Resident Evil 5 (demo) Okami Psychonauts
Hawx (demo) Halo Wars (demo) Prince of Persia
Street Fighter 4 The Darkness Gears of War
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men Unreal Tournament 3 Rez HD (demo)
Mirror's Edge Assassin's Creed Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2
Frontlines: Fuel of War Battlefield: Bad Company Red Faction: Guerilla (demo)
Croc: Legend of the Gobbos Alien Vs Predator 2 Deadly Creatures
Madworld Banjo Tooie Red Faction: Guerilla
Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad Transformers 1 Vs 100
Peggle Secret of Monkey Island Prince of Persia Original
Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Batman: Arkham Asylum (demo)
Professor Layton and the Curious Village Hotel Dusk: Room 215 Fallout 3
WiiSports Resort Gears of War 2 Borderlands
Dead Space Final Fantasy 9 Lego Batman
Dragon Age: Origins
The BEST:
10 - Alien Vs Predator 2 - Play as the marine and this old game is still scary. Can't wait for the remake!
09 - Unreal Tournament 3 - Surprisingly fun. Maybe not as good as UT2004, but classic multiplayer fest!
08 - Mirror's Edge - Gorgeous visuals (pinching from Portal) and interesting gameplay.
07 - Assassin's Creed - While tedious and drawn out, it has fantastic visuals and gameplay mechanics.
06 - Lost Planet: Extreme Condition - Fighting colossal monsters in mechs? Why wouldn't I love this?
05 - Red Faction: Guerilla - Free Roaming, free destruction. Destroying everything has never been so fun.
04 - Okami - A beautifully crafted game, even uses the Wii to marvelous effect. Must play this more!
03 - Prince of Persia - Fantastic visual style, flawless, simplistic controls and witty dialogue. Easy, but fun!
02 - Professor Layton and the Curious Village - Put me in a new gear of gaming. Definitely occupied me!
01 - Borderlands - Tough call as I really want to play it more with friends! But great gameplay and style.
The WORST:
10 - Resident Evil 5 (demo) - As I still haven't got the full game... clearly the demo didn't grip me.
09 - Kane & Lynch: Dead Men - Quite... samey. Some retarded good enemy intelligence, ie, snipers...
08 - Battlefield: Bad Company - Showing its age, elements not as perfect as they could be.. pretty boring.
07 - Fallout 3 - Dreary looks makes "free-roaming" unapealling. Plagued by invisible walls and uncanny valley.
06 - Gears of War - What was the fuss about? Retarded testosterone nonsense. Unimaginative & repetitive.
05 - Hawx (demo) - When the multiplayer kicks off... planes circle themselves again.. and again... and again..
04 - Deadly Creatures - Lost so much potential, became sluggish and uninvolving.
03 - Transformers - So mind numbingly tedious! Wow, and I completed this on the Wii!
02 - Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad - Breasts, check. IMPOSSIBLE GAMEPLAY SECTIONS? Check.
01 - Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2 - Again... Breasts, check. Point? None.
Only Tommy would subject me to the worst game I've ever played!
*breath sigh of relief* I can let go of 2009 now, haha.
I hope you enjoyed reading over it all =)