May 26, 2008 03:00
Tilte: Why The Cat Became The Lie
Pairing: RolloxLelouch (yes, you heard right).
Rating:Pg?
Warnings: One-sided Love, Half-incest, and mentions of murder...
Summary: Is there really much of a difference between the truth and a lie? One-shot.
“Obedience is Apathy’s finest staple-a liberator from the delusion called Life. As long as you do as you’re told, as long as you kill your heart, you will certainly find an absolute truth for yourself.”
This was a law that he’d learned to live by. Rollo could see himself as a mere child. Seemingly innocent and fragile, he robotically observed a world of people smiling and laughing. While those living things lived gaily, he sat on a shadowed shelf and watched that beautiful, meaningless world from above.
“You will never need affection. Let apathy nurture your existence.”
Yes, he was above them. Dead and innocent like a little doll--Rollo was above their pathetic kind in every sense. He’d killed his heart. He could kill and forget his killing sprees as easily as a child forgets an old toy. A hollow tool, he was the perfect assassin.
“Life is very long…A long, empty dream.”
He’d been watching it for ages now. There’d never been any room for hesitation. It was entirely logical for the weak die. Only the strong prosper. Death was also profitable. He felt no ecstasy in staining his hands with blood nor did he show any gratitude toward his superiors. They’d promoted him, giving him countless lives and identities. In the end, it all boiled down to the same emptiness. He was still far away from his promised truth-that certain future that would belong to only him. So very far away until…
“Why are you wondering about such a trivial matter? If you go on like this, you’ll never claim a future for yourself. Or does it really lie in my death?”
That empty world suddenly shone brighter. Zero, the eyesore that stood between Rollo and his wavering future, emerged like a god and taunted him. Before the young assassin could react another voice resounded through his ears, overpowering him.
“You don’t need to worry anymore. Your future is…with me.”
Rollo spun around to see Lelouch standing before him. His gentle words mercilessly pierced through the younger boy’s apathetic shell, twisting his heart. Those warm hands reached for Rollo, the lifeless doll, restoring something almost human to the boy’s deadened heart. Rollo felt his lips moving on their own. He could feel himself speaking words that fell deaf to his own ears yet at the same time, elicited a dominating smile from his feigned older brother.
"I promised you a new future, didn't I?"
Lelouch’s smile widened like a true prince and a real devil as he captured Rollo’s chin in his hand. As those lips descended on his own, Rollo heard those words again. A sweet and agonizing repetition. A poisonous promise…
“This is the only way to make the future certain. Rollo, you’re future is with m--”
Rollo Lamperouge awoke abruptly, amethyst eyes wide with shock. Feverishly, he sat up in bed. Light. He need light. His chest heaving, he hastily reached for the switch to the lamp nearest to his bedside. Rollo felt an odd alleviation as the soft light spread throughout his bedroom, banishing away the darkness that had eloped him. Both his mind and his heart raced. His pulses screamed. His blood howled through his veins as if it were liquid fire. Trembling, he tried to calm himself by ridding his mind of that illogical imagining--what most people would call a dream. Rollo had never dreamt before--not until this night. Subconsciously, he placed a trembling hand over his speeding heart, the other hesitantly grazed his lips. It’d all been a dream, a simple, illogical dream.
Glancing the ghost-like moon outside his window, Rollo concluded that there was no way that he’d be able to regain his lost sleep. He quietly got out of bed to retrieve a familiar book from the shelf. Still somewhat shaken, he held it close to his chest. It was, after all, one of his few treasures--a gift from Lelouch. A gift from his brother. It was all a lie, but Rollo had been playing the role for so long that he could no longer distinguish betwixt the deception and the reality.There isn’t much of a difference between the truth and a lie.
Rollo had forgotten where he’d heard that line. Still, there was a certain possessiveness in him that aimed for the longevity of the entire ruse. He felt an unexplainable desire to protect this lie at all costs. To protect Lelouch…
Clutching the book tightly, Rollo felt himself blushing--an action just as irrational as the dream had been. It disturbed him even more to think that part of him might’ve even longed for that kiss. He carried the book over to his bed and sat down. The tile, engraved in golden script, gave him a shimmering smile: The Master Cat.
‘The story of a cat who rose to nobility along with its master…’ Rollo thought. He’d taken a liking to the peculiar tale. It fit the reality before him almost perfectly. ‘But without the cat, its master was completely useless…So the cat manipulates everything, even his master, to get what he wants. He lies and lies until he becomes the lie…’
Perhaps he was more like the cat? He’d told many lies and manipulated his own share of scenarios. Was Lelouch like the cat’s master? No, he wasn’t as insecure and dependant, but for some bizarre reason he seemed to fit the fairytale role:
Self-interest. Magnetism. Manipulation. Lies.
These were certainly all the traits they possessed. Both he and Lelouch acted on their own self-interests. Lelouch was definitely the magnetism and excelled at manipulation--as did Rollo. Just as Lelouch wove fine threads of deceit, his younger brother was more than capable of doing the same. But no one excelled more at lying than Rollo himself. He’d been lied to ever since he came into his empty existence and had made an exquisite art out of it for himself.
In spite of all this, Rollo was fully away that he harbored something potentially dangerous toward Lelouch. It transcended any normal sense of obligation. It’d also caused him to double-cross his superiors and himself. There was something about that exiled prince that constantly tore ate his psyche, cutting his heart and mind asunder. A certain something that, all at once, brought out bloodiest murder in him and the most obedient sheep. Rollo knew that he was powerless against that untraceable force that bound him to Lelouch, but there was still something in him that hadn’t pledged complete loyalty to him.
Was he too apathetic, too insecure, or too selfish? Having been hollow for so long, Rollo barely knew how to handle the new waves of human emotion that Lelouch instilled him with. Being an assassin for as long as he could remeber, having countless identies, and having no true identity at all was bound to make him insecure. Damned straight he was selfish--selfish enough to believe that Lelouch was special--the only thing that made sense to him in such an empty world.
Rollo fell back onto his pillow, still holding the book in his arms.‘Lie until you become the lie.’ He told himself. ‘Lie until everything belongs to you…’
Something strange happened as he closed his eyes to recover the sleep he’d lost. A single tear slipped out from beneath his soft eyelash. It was the first tear he’d ever shed. It happened unconsciously, but the reality of it was painfully bitter. Somewhere along the way, he’d become like the cat: full of lies. By the time the sun rose, Rollo had overslept and was awakened by the ticklish sensation of lips lingering near his ear and whispering:
“Wake up…my sleeping prince.”
Rollo popped up like wild animal, eyes wide and chest heaving. Out of habit, he’d almost reached for the dagger he’d hidden beneath his pillow. Even as a student at Ashford Academy, he couldn’t rest easy. He flushed when he saw his older brother gazing back at him with a startled expression. Lelouch caught him off guard. Rollo felt like reaching for his pillow hide his embarrassment.
“Calm down. You’re like frightened rabbit.” Lelouch teased. “There’s a festival today. Both Milly and Shirley nominated you to participate in the main event. Hurry. Everyone’s waiting for you. Oh, one more thing…”
Rollo curiously waited for him to continue.
“That book…”
“Yes?” Rollo asked, trying to hide his flushing face.
“Would you like me to read it to you before bed next time?”
“I can read it myself!” Rollo argued, hurling his pillow at Lelouch.
Having missed his target, he was subjected in more teasing. Left alone, Rollo scolded himself for his silly reactions. Why was he acting so strangely? He got dressed and wearily made his way downstairs. It was highly unusual for him to lack energy, but the previous night had been mentally exhausting. Both the day and the festival progressed with all the usual high jinks that abounded at Ashford Academy (which suspiciously seemed to be invocated by Milly herself).
Just before the final event, Rollo, who was still thinking too much, was hauled off by Shirley and Milly. Both girls stuck him in the middle of costume/cross-dressing competition. Most weren’t surprised when he won first place for ‘cutest costume’ which happened to be an old fashioned sailor get-up. As the crowds went mad over him, Rollo nearly died of embarrassment. Lelouch’s personal announcement that his younger brother was the most adorable in all of Britannia only worsened the situation. It was more irritating than flattering. Right. Adorable. He was born to be adored, to wind his way into the hearts of others before slaughtering them. But coming from Lelouch, it was more delightful than he cared to admit.
Before the event was even over, Rollo snuck out and changed back into his uniform. He was much more content with not being the center of everyone’s attention. He had yet to overcome his shyness at the academy. Still dazed, he retired to the roof. It held splendid view of the academy’s grounds as well as the city lights that lied beyond them. Content with the silence, Rollo further held onto his lies and hoped that the façade would never end.
Life is very long…
Rollo closed his eyes. This was the one dream that he hoped to never wake from. Hadn’t he lied enough? Enough for this lie to become real? Which became the lie, the cat or…?
Then came the voice that shattered his contentment. The voice that put his very nerves on end. Rollo feigned ignorance, his heart slamming against his ribs. He mustn’t look. Looking into those eyes would only make things worse.
“Are you avoiding me?” Lelouch asked, scoring a perfect bull’s-eye.
Rollo reluctantly betrayed his desire to stay silent. The very moment that he felt those violet eyes prying into him, Rollo mentally retreated. Resorting to those familiar restraints that kept him from fully pledging loyalty, the younger boy proceeded to retreat altogether. Fed up with the alien emotions that kept bombarding him, Rollo felt like dropping the unspoken subject all together.‘As long as you do as your told--as long as you kill your heart…’ He thought as he bypassed a frowning Lelouch.
“Have you lost your faith in me?” Lelouch asked, his back facing Rollo’s.
Rollo froze. Lelouch had been reading his thoughts all along.
“Which is the lie and which is the truth?” Rollo accidentally allowed the question to slip past his lips.
“There isn’t a difference. That’s the reality before us. You needn't worry about--” Lelouch was suddenly cut short by the cross expression on Rollo’s face.
“Liar. There are secrets that you’re keeping only to yourself. Truths that you don’t consider fit for anyone but yourself!” Rollo accused.
“Hypocrisy isn’t very becoming on you, my dear brother. Of course I’m keeping secrets…because I don’t want to hurt you. I wasn’t lying when I called you adorable…” Lelouch continued, lips winding into a wicked grin. ‘Yes, Rollo. You’re much to hollow to vouch for a soul and yet at the same time you’re terribly unstable. You’re almost too adorable for this world. Just one more step and I’ll make you fall completely!’ Lelouch thought.
“You should’ve never dirtied your hands with mine. You’re much too pure to be involved in this world of bloodshed. I want to protect you from all of this because you’re all that I have left. Britannia betrayed me. Japan is on my side only because it has its own share of self-interests. No believes in me more than you, Rollo…”
Lelouch suddenly grabbed Rollo’s hand and starred deeply into the younger one’s eyes. All at once, he easily read every single thought that ran through the other’s mind.
‘That’s it, he’s falling. Just one more step. One more step until I crush him completely.’ Lelouch was far too smitten with the thought to focus on anything else aside from the relenting look in Rollo’s eyes.
Rollo suddenly jerked away his hand.
“I’m not the only thing that’s important, am I? You’re hatred toward Britannia is way more…!”
Lelouch smiled knowingly and reclaimed the younger one’s hand.
“Just like your ambition to kill Zero?”
Rollo jerked away his hand again.
“And what about Nunnally?”
“Don’t you desire a real identity?”
It turned into an awkward dance--a tug-o-war between Rejection and Acceptance.
“Don’t counter my questions with more questions!” Rollo yelled, clenching his fists.
Lelouch refused to admit defeat. He coolly continued on his path to victory.
“Which is the truth and which is the lie? Which becomes the lie? The cat or the truth itself? There’s no such thing as an absolute truth, Rollo. Have faith in me and I’ll build a world for you without any doubts, a future only for you. But you’re not entirely loyal to me, are you?” Lelouch asked, capturing the boy’s chin in his hand.
Rollo was speechless. Lelouch had known all along. All along, he had been the pitiful pauper and Lelouch--the true Master Cat. What compelled him to face him even more was the odd sense of deja vu that now ran rampant. Fully confident that this course of action wouldn’t warrant any harm on Rollo’s part, Lelouch continued to woo his prey into defeat.
“I’ll put all of your fears to rest. I’ll make it so that your loyalty will always lie with me and only me.” Lelouch went on, closing the distance between them.
“Stop…you’re supposed to be my…!” Rollo protested, struggling to grasp the word. “You’re treating me as if we’re even less than brothers!”
The ravishing, passionate looking in the violet eyes stopped Rollo cold.
“We are more than just that….” Lelouch whispered, his lips brushing against the other’s. Once he felt that every last trace of resistance was gone, the exiled prince initiated the final step.
‘Lies aren’t enough. Truths aren’t enough. But this will due just fine. With just this, all of you will belong to me, to my chessboard. Rollo, you’re an invaluable chesspiece that I can’t afford to lose. Fall and become my pawn!’
“Believe in me…”
Were the final words that decided Rollo’s fate. Forever alienated betwixt his new self and the hollow assassin that he’d always been, Rollo knew that there’d be no returning from the darkness that awaited them both. He knew that he was being lied to, but it was already far too late. Whether it was a new future, a new hell, or an absolute truth, everything lied in that fully elaborate yet poisoned kiss.
Tasting Rollo’s full loyalty at last, Lelouch crowned his victory...
‘Checkmate.’
After word:
Okay, I know I’ve failed epically but I just had to get this scenario out of my head. It drove me up the wall long enough for me to admit my new interest in LelouchxRollo or RolloxLelouch XD By the way, the tale of The Master Cat refers to the story of Puss in Boots. And yes, episode 4 of season 2 acted as my muse. *Is shot*
fanfic:lelouch/rolo