"If you blame it on the rain, tell me what can begin?"

[codename_windy]

Today, for the first time in a long while, I cried during therapy. It was quite unexpected and unlike the cleansing effect that crying usually has, it left me feeling crappy and down for the whole day so far

Comments

[waterpuzzle_]

...I can fully relate to you, here, about the parents' part. See, my parents also treat things like this as being a dark dirty family secret that not a single other person on earth should know about, otherwise it would bring shame to the family. I thought my case was the typical stupid Asian family honor thing. But I guess it could very well be universal.

And I don't get it. I don't know why it's so important to keep a crispy clean public image. I do understand if they don't want the general public to look at their family in a different light, but then, after reading some of your backstories (and I'm sure I haven't read even most of it), and knowing my own history, as well as many of my other friends' or other "anonymous" people I've read about on the internet... It's probably safe to assume that the number of people with similar issues is so large that it's hardly proper to be calling it "not normal". Because the definition of "normal" (or, well, at least my definition of "normal") is when the majority conforms to something, and

[codename_windy]

With your parents it might be the Asian family honour issue; with mine I think it is at least partially the Finnish ideal of "grind your teeth and bear it

[larlar_ulysses]

All of that sounds so familiar... ALL of it and personally? I think you are doing WONDERFULLY and to have done so all on your own?! Christ, you should be so proud! *hug

[codename_windy]

To be fair, I haven't had to be all alone all the time. For a good few years, I did have a wonderful best friend who was great support. Regardless of the hurt and feelings of betrayal that it all ended up in, it doesn't negate the fact that she did offer tremendous amount of support through some very hard times

[ramika]

Personally, I've never understood the way your parents treat you, and I still don't. My parents are also people who don't believe in things like depression, and they've asked me several times why I don't just "get over it" and "pull myself together", but they've also tried to support me.
So I think you should be very proud for making it this far and for all the progress you've made, considering that you've had to do all that all by yourself.

*Hugs* Remember that I'm still here for you if you want me to be. Keep your head up.

[codename_windy]

I'm sure my parents have their reasons for being how they are. They're not bad people, they do love me and all that. Personally I suspect they just cannot deal with not being able to magically fix things for me, you know? That, combined with their problem of believing in mental issues that do not make one stand out being real. Perhaps with a dosage of disappointment in me not turning out strong and successful.

Can't make promises on managing to keep my head up, or even myself up, but I'll keep getting back to my feet after falling down. ^_~

[necrovalentine]

I know you love your parents, but I seriously think they're being unfair by not realizing how wonderful you are and how hard this has been for you to basically do on your own. You're amazing, and you need to remember that always. *hug*

[codename_windy]

I do love my parents and they do love me. I don't really want people thinking badly of them, which is one reason that I sometimes hesitate/feel bad about writing my feelings here. They are not bad people, they're simply choosing wrong way to handle this.
I mean, I do agree that my parents are being unfair to me in all this. I'm sure they don't mean to be and that there are reasons for their behaviour, such as possible issues of their own or inability to really cope with not being able to fix their child, but that doesn't mean I am wrong to feel hurt.

Thank you for the kind assessment of me and for the support. *hug*