Wow! This was really excellent! :D I've never read a script-format fanfic before, and to tell you the truth, I didn't think I would like it. But it actually read very well, which I think speaks to your ability to put it all together in a natural way despite the script format. Very well done! And I like the story a LOT. Of course, I'm a big Atton/Exile softie, soooo... But this fic struck me because you had Atton turn things around on Urela, which I don't see very often. I really enjoyed it! And you know, I want more!! :D
Bravo bravo!!! I hope you can join more of our challenges! And rules, smules, it worked out, didn't it? ;)
Niiiice piece of work. I also happen to be a very big fan of what is collectively called 'drama' in the technical language of writers and critics. Basically means just what you did: work of literature destined or or perfectly adjusted for being played by actors.
Anyway, your Exile reminds me of Bastila, for some reason. And Atton's lines somewhat resemble the ones that Male Revan gets with her. But your fic was far more... well, moral than those dialogues. It contained a few lessons of character, which I'm also a very big fan of.
And lastly, my congratulations on managing to show the more dominant side of Atton, as opposed to how submissive most make him in relation with the Exile. He may be, as Kreia says, 'the fool', but usually if the player character wants to be liked, the player will have to give him his space. Pretty similar to what you did here.
I enjoy good dialog in a fic and you did a great job at that. Not being a script writer myself, I couldn't help but want to add a little more description. But overall, you were able to set the atmosphere with the dialog itself without needing to know what color his shirt was. I liked it and I think you fully embraced the idea of the challenge.
Comments 5
Alice, the kendoka girl.
Reply
Bravo bravo!!! I hope you can join more of our challenges! And rules, smules, it worked out, didn't it? ;)
Reply
Anyway, your Exile reminds me of Bastila, for some reason. And Atton's lines somewhat resemble the ones that Male Revan gets with her. But your fic was far more... well, moral than those dialogues. It contained a few lessons of character, which I'm also a very big fan of.
And lastly, my congratulations on managing to show the more dominant side of Atton, as opposed to how submissive most make him in relation with the Exile. He may be, as Kreia says, 'the fool', but usually if the player character wants to be liked, the player will have to give him his space. Pretty similar to what you did here.
Was very refreshing to read. :)
- Inconspicuous Acuity
Reply
Reply
Really excellent work and the format was refreshing. Great job!
Reply
Leave a comment