minitour update
I think I must be coming down with the Smokehand minitour cold :\
Anyway - here's a summary.
--------------------------
Saturday, Cooper's Arms, Aberystwyth
With the drummer already launched into Aber via human-canon three Smokehanders somehow manage to pack themselves into a car alongside PA gear, guitars and other stuff you need to do a show.
The drive is long, but goes by fairly quickly as we chat about the usual stuff (our loathing of Ro**ie Wi**iams, why Kylie is OK by me, how we can't feel our legs, etc.).
Some way through the journey, the fellowship of the green wedge stop at a truly astounding and evil place, the horror of which it is only possible to communicate through smell. If you put some parmesan cheese and a turd in a frying pan and stir them up nicely together you'll understand just how evil this place is to a small degree.
Yes - it is the 'combined Burger King and Little Chef'.
Quake mortals, for you should fear this place!
We see some of the staff getting a 'dressing down' out back as we arrive.
Maybe they've been making burgers out of their parents to save money or something...
After we've paid our respects to Mr. Toilet and stretched our legs until we can feel them again, it's time to clamber back in the SmokemobileTM for the remainder of the journey.
Upon arrival at the Coopers arms we are given a rapturously nonplussed welcome by the landlord and ushered upstairs into some kind of secret area.
The secret area has a stage, a PA and some 'stuff'. In the absence of any guidance we begin to set up.
The room is nice with a bar at one end and a fair amount of room for a seated audience. Dancing is not allowed as the landlord notes that the ceiling of the secret area is weak and could come crashing down at any moment. That's OK then.
After a fairly uneventful setup, and the arrival of one of the most consummately shit drum kits in the known universe, we're ready to rock! Unfortunately so are support band 'Fenks', whose overly-loud drummer and singer with an attitude that matches his tank-top, drive the audience to slight disgruntlement.
Some ear-plugs are put in and we politely try not to portray the COMPLETE AND UTTER TORTURE we are going through on our no-doubt completely anguished faces.
The audience are polite and lovely, and although they look about as pleased as Michael Jackson on his wedding night, applaud politely.
Even the landlord has mellowed to us now, and turns out to be an decent chap, no doubt terrorised into vague harshness by student wannabe punk-rockers in tank-tops.
Eventually we manage to get on stage amid a blur of too many guitars and not enough stage. We put in a fairly solid performance, are received well, sell some CDs, get paid and get out of dodge.
On the journey back we stop once more at the EVIL PLACE.
I do a wee in-between two wheelie bins.
--------------------------
Monday, Meze Lounge, Newport
No offence to anybody who lives in Newport - but I've always thought of it as a complete and utter cesspool containing only the zombified, apathetic remains of what once used to resemble human beings.
Ok - I guess that might cause some offence.
Well, my expectations were confounded I tell you. CONFOUNDED!
Upon arrival at 'The Lounge', we are confronted with one of the most mellow, loungy environments we have ever had the pleasure to play in. And it has MASSIVE STAGE!
Massive stages are important as they allow multiple bands to keep all their massive gear on stage alongside their massive egos and massive desire to leap about mid-song.
The only thing better than a massive stage is a good sound engineer, good monitoring and lots of plug sockets. The Meze has it all. I couldn't turn for plug sockets! My pants were soaked with excitement and I'm not even a girl!
After going to the toilet we set up and sound check. The sound guy is fast, bulbous and very professional. We find a snug spot in a dark corner and chow down on gig-food such as pizza and stuff.
We're playing with two other bands tonight and they both sound great in sound-check. Angie And The Bear are an interesting folksy, world musicy set-up with some great instrumentation. It's not often you get to see a cello and a clarinet on stage at once, but it's very welcome indeed.
Santa-Dog are really professional, tight as the proverbial gnat's arse, have some great surf rock/pop material nicely arranged and are fronted by a very charming lady, who also happens to have the most alluring yet demure stage-presence. They also sport a shit hot guitarist with a wicked tone. The rhythm section rule too - the drummer dishing out buzz-rolls like they were potatoes (or something).
Both supports go down very well, but the hour is late by the time Smokehand take to the stage and the audience is sparse but appreciative.
Our fellow musicians seem to have enjoyed it and, although there weren't many people left to sell CDs to we had a great time and would love to go back.
--------------------------
Wednesday, Porters, Bath
I love Bath. Bath can do no wrong. It's got it all!
It's not far away, it's mellow, it has a great atmosphere.
However, at first things didn't seem to be going so well. We had forgotten that they have a strict low-volume policy in Porters and Ben was asked to use the dreaded 'hot-rods'. These are a sort of drum stick that is crap to use, but quieter than normal. They also sound pretty pants. Rob the sound engineer was extraordinarily patient however, and a worked with us to get a great sound.
We had to be a little more subdued than we are used to, but this wasn't a bad thing. The audience were the most appreciative of the whole mini tour and one guy paid double for the CD and didn't want any change.
I had too much cheese and chips. This didn't stop a cute German girl writing 'I like your guitar man!' on the side of the mailing list form. I stifled a blush, but my testes smiled inwardly.
--------------------------
Thursday, Marr's Bar, Worcester
Arriving at a venue to find ourselves on a totally inappropriate bill isn't a new thing for Smokehand, and a series of gigs wouldn't be complete without us being on a line-up such as this one. The promoter is the head honcho of a local government funded record label, which seems to sport nothing but punk bands. He reminds me a little of Den Perry from Phoenix Nights.
We get a great soundcheck off the resident sound man and chill out for a bit before going on stage. It's not an enormous stage - about big enough for five baby hippos to stand end to end across the front.
The audience seems to be mainly composed of friends and family of the aforementioned punk rockers. We're introduced in a slightly apologetic way by the Den Perry alike and storm through our set in what seems like no time. The response is pretty good for an audience primed for punk and although we don't sell any CDs we're pretty pleased by the performance.
In the bit of silence during 'Smokehand Theme' where Adam gets to talk (and usually say 'goodnight' as well as giving out the website address), this time he comes out with the rather cheeky "We've been Smokehand - you've been served!". I promptly piss myself.
We're lucky nobody in the audience had a guitar and played right back at us. Then it would have been 'on'.
A half decent outfit take to the stage after us, and I quite like them. They're good old-fasioned style punk, as opposed to the ivebeengroundedbymymumgodshesabitchcore so prevalent today.
--------------------------
Friday, Barfly, Cardiff
Tonight is a gig on our home turf. We're supporting the Crimea and The Heights with a short, but finely honed set. The Barfly is our home from home and we're comfortable there - setting up quickly and getting a really great sound check off new head sound man Che.
The Crimea are becoming fairly big now, having been championed by John Peel both when he was alive, and from beyond the grave via the music press.
The gig has been really well organised and we have an enormous sound check compared to similar gigs, when we've supported well known bands.
Lots of our friends show up and the crowd are very co-operative with enthusiastic cheering when we tell them that the gig is being recorded for posterity.
Two band members have got a stinking cold and aren't really compus mentis, but the gig goes really well regardless and the Heights/Crimea fans suck up a fair few CDs between them.
On the way out we find the Crimea's lead singer attached to his van.
It's a shame to have to get out of dodge quickly at a gig like this, and I would have liked to stick around to see the other bands.
I'm never comfortable leaving our gear in a crowded bar though, so we pack up quick and are out of there by a far too sensible 9:40.
--------------------------
Overall the week was really great fun. Adam did a fantastic job of selling CDs and marshalling the mailing list, with occasional help from various lovely assistants.
We played really well and there wasn't any animosity at all between band members. A little stress unpacking and packing away, but that's to be expected when you're trying to carry a keyboard stand, heavy valve amplifier and a guitar through a crowded bar ;)
We had a really great time - and personally I'd like to do this all the time. I always secretly hated the idea of going from place to place playing the same songs every night, but now I understand why some people like it. You can really spice things up, playing stuff slightly differently, coming up with new ideas and ad-libbing on stage. This way it actually becomes more fun as you go on and adds greatly to the creative processes of songwriting and arranging.
I recommend it.
Anyway - here's a summary.
--------------------------
Saturday, Cooper's Arms, Aberystwyth
With the drummer already launched into Aber via human-canon three Smokehanders somehow manage to pack themselves into a car alongside PA gear, guitars and other stuff you need to do a show.
The drive is long, but goes by fairly quickly as we chat about the usual stuff (our loathing of Ro**ie Wi**iams, why Kylie is OK by me, how we can't feel our legs, etc.).
Some way through the journey, the fellowship of the green wedge stop at a truly astounding and evil place, the horror of which it is only possible to communicate through smell. If you put some parmesan cheese and a turd in a frying pan and stir them up nicely together you'll understand just how evil this place is to a small degree.
Yes - it is the 'combined Burger King and Little Chef'.
Quake mortals, for you should fear this place!
We see some of the staff getting a 'dressing down' out back as we arrive.
Maybe they've been making burgers out of their parents to save money or something...
After we've paid our respects to Mr. Toilet and stretched our legs until we can feel them again, it's time to clamber back in the SmokemobileTM for the remainder of the journey.
Upon arrival at the Coopers arms we are given a rapturously nonplussed welcome by the landlord and ushered upstairs into some kind of secret area.
The secret area has a stage, a PA and some 'stuff'. In the absence of any guidance we begin to set up.
The room is nice with a bar at one end and a fair amount of room for a seated audience. Dancing is not allowed as the landlord notes that the ceiling of the secret area is weak and could come crashing down at any moment. That's OK then.
After a fairly uneventful setup, and the arrival of one of the most consummately shit drum kits in the known universe, we're ready to rock! Unfortunately so are support band 'Fenks', whose overly-loud drummer and singer with an attitude that matches his tank-top, drive the audience to slight disgruntlement.
Some ear-plugs are put in and we politely try not to portray the COMPLETE AND UTTER TORTURE we are going through on our no-doubt completely anguished faces.
The audience are polite and lovely, and although they look about as pleased as Michael Jackson on his wedding night, applaud politely.
Even the landlord has mellowed to us now, and turns out to be an decent chap, no doubt terrorised into vague harshness by student wannabe punk-rockers in tank-tops.
Eventually we manage to get on stage amid a blur of too many guitars and not enough stage. We put in a fairly solid performance, are received well, sell some CDs, get paid and get out of dodge.
On the journey back we stop once more at the EVIL PLACE.
I do a wee in-between two wheelie bins.
--------------------------
Monday, Meze Lounge, Newport
No offence to anybody who lives in Newport - but I've always thought of it as a complete and utter cesspool containing only the zombified, apathetic remains of what once used to resemble human beings.
Ok - I guess that might cause some offence.
Well, my expectations were confounded I tell you. CONFOUNDED!
Upon arrival at 'The Lounge', we are confronted with one of the most mellow, loungy environments we have ever had the pleasure to play in. And it has MASSIVE STAGE!
Massive stages are important as they allow multiple bands to keep all their massive gear on stage alongside their massive egos and massive desire to leap about mid-song.
The only thing better than a massive stage is a good sound engineer, good monitoring and lots of plug sockets. The Meze has it all. I couldn't turn for plug sockets! My pants were soaked with excitement and I'm not even a girl!
After going to the toilet we set up and sound check. The sound guy is fast, bulbous and very professional. We find a snug spot in a dark corner and chow down on gig-food such as pizza and stuff.
We're playing with two other bands tonight and they both sound great in sound-check. Angie And The Bear are an interesting folksy, world musicy set-up with some great instrumentation. It's not often you get to see a cello and a clarinet on stage at once, but it's very welcome indeed.
Santa-Dog are really professional, tight as the proverbial gnat's arse, have some great surf rock/pop material nicely arranged and are fronted by a very charming lady, who also happens to have the most alluring yet demure stage-presence. They also sport a shit hot guitarist with a wicked tone. The rhythm section rule too - the drummer dishing out buzz-rolls like they were potatoes (or something).
Both supports go down very well, but the hour is late by the time Smokehand take to the stage and the audience is sparse but appreciative.
Our fellow musicians seem to have enjoyed it and, although there weren't many people left to sell CDs to we had a great time and would love to go back.
--------------------------
Wednesday, Porters, Bath
I love Bath. Bath can do no wrong. It's got it all!
It's not far away, it's mellow, it has a great atmosphere.
However, at first things didn't seem to be going so well. We had forgotten that they have a strict low-volume policy in Porters and Ben was asked to use the dreaded 'hot-rods'. These are a sort of drum stick that is crap to use, but quieter than normal. They also sound pretty pants. Rob the sound engineer was extraordinarily patient however, and a worked with us to get a great sound.
We had to be a little more subdued than we are used to, but this wasn't a bad thing. The audience were the most appreciative of the whole mini tour and one guy paid double for the CD and didn't want any change.
I had too much cheese and chips. This didn't stop a cute German girl writing 'I like your guitar man!' on the side of the mailing list form. I stifled a blush, but my testes smiled inwardly.
--------------------------
Thursday, Marr's Bar, Worcester
Arriving at a venue to find ourselves on a totally inappropriate bill isn't a new thing for Smokehand, and a series of gigs wouldn't be complete without us being on a line-up such as this one. The promoter is the head honcho of a local government funded record label, which seems to sport nothing but punk bands. He reminds me a little of Den Perry from Phoenix Nights.
We get a great soundcheck off the resident sound man and chill out for a bit before going on stage. It's not an enormous stage - about big enough for five baby hippos to stand end to end across the front.
The audience seems to be mainly composed of friends and family of the aforementioned punk rockers. We're introduced in a slightly apologetic way by the Den Perry alike and storm through our set in what seems like no time. The response is pretty good for an audience primed for punk and although we don't sell any CDs we're pretty pleased by the performance.
In the bit of silence during 'Smokehand Theme' where Adam gets to talk (and usually say 'goodnight' as well as giving out the website address), this time he comes out with the rather cheeky "We've been Smokehand - you've been served!". I promptly piss myself.
We're lucky nobody in the audience had a guitar and played right back at us. Then it would have been 'on'.
A half decent outfit take to the stage after us, and I quite like them. They're good old-fasioned style punk, as opposed to the ivebeengroundedbymymumgodshesabitchcore so prevalent today.
--------------------------
Friday, Barfly, Cardiff
Tonight is a gig on our home turf. We're supporting the Crimea and The Heights with a short, but finely honed set. The Barfly is our home from home and we're comfortable there - setting up quickly and getting a really great sound check off new head sound man Che.
The Crimea are becoming fairly big now, having been championed by John Peel both when he was alive, and from beyond the grave via the music press.
The gig has been really well organised and we have an enormous sound check compared to similar gigs, when we've supported well known bands.
Lots of our friends show up and the crowd are very co-operative with enthusiastic cheering when we tell them that the gig is being recorded for posterity.
Two band members have got a stinking cold and aren't really compus mentis, but the gig goes really well regardless and the Heights/Crimea fans suck up a fair few CDs between them.
On the way out we find the Crimea's lead singer attached to his van.
It's a shame to have to get out of dodge quickly at a gig like this, and I would have liked to stick around to see the other bands.
I'm never comfortable leaving our gear in a crowded bar though, so we pack up quick and are out of there by a far too sensible 9:40.
--------------------------
Overall the week was really great fun. Adam did a fantastic job of selling CDs and marshalling the mailing list, with occasional help from various lovely assistants.
We played really well and there wasn't any animosity at all between band members. A little stress unpacking and packing away, but that's to be expected when you're trying to carry a keyboard stand, heavy valve amplifier and a guitar through a crowded bar ;)
We had a really great time - and personally I'd like to do this all the time. I always secretly hated the idea of going from place to place playing the same songs every night, but now I understand why some people like it. You can really spice things up, playing stuff slightly differently, coming up with new ideas and ad-libbing on stage. This way it actually becomes more fun as you go on and adds greatly to the creative processes of songwriting and arranging.
I recommend it.