No, she's saying 'Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich.'
I have an unholy love for Simon Pegg.
BUT! THINGS!
Truth, because I can't stop listening to it on a fucking loop wtf?
Tanya Chua - Where I Belong, my favourite Singapore National Day song. Er. Happy Birthday, Singapore?
My Maximo Park folder. It's an ever-growing thing.
I finished watching Gokusen 2, and at the end I tried to make sense of the story line. But mostly, I just flailed a lot.
“Nothing can ever be the same, again. Nothing.”
Ryu looks at Hayato. The sun is slinking away slowly, but its last rays are throwing Hayato’s face in sharp relief. Ryu can make out the loathing and the anger, but he doesn’t look hard enough to see the hurt. He can’t bring himself to. He doesn’t even begin to see the confusion. The street is busy, and Ryu can distantly make out elbows and shoulders slamming against each other, people barely murmuring their apologies as they shove past the two of them.
(he can’t help but remember the last time they came this way: taking the wrong turn and with no idea how to get back to the places they were familiar with. to the streets that they could walk down, pretending they owned. there’s a ramen shop two streets down that they had ducked into because it’s the only thing they could afford, and of course hayato was hungry. he had insisted that getting lost meant twice as much food, and ryu had rolled his eyes and said he’d rather pay for them both than watch hayato cry. hayato had challenged him to a chopstick duel as they retraced their steps, and after three battles lost, one draw, and fourteen won, ryu had turned around to see the school. ryu remembers laughing a lot, that evening.)
“Fine. I don’t care.”
Ryu doesn’t believe that Hayato believes him, but there’s nothing else he can do. He’s standing in the middle of a crowded street, being jostled by people who don’t give him a second glance - if they even spared him a first - glaring at his not-so-best-friend-anymore. His entire body is tense, because he knows Hayato better than he knows himself, and he knows that the tilt of his head is a challenge, and that the way his shoulders are bunched forward means Hayato is trying oh so desperately to protect himself. Ryu thinks he can feel his heart breaking, but he’s never been completely sure when it comes to himself, so he lets it go.
(they ran away from home, once. just once, because hayato had felt guilty about leaving taku behind, and ryu had felt guilty about leaving take behind. they’d sat down in the corner of a street because hayato had insisted that it’s what people did in all the movies, and made up stories about all the people who walked by. hayato kept seeing yakuza bosses, and ryu insisted he kept seeing salarymen who were superheroes by night. the only thing they agreed on was that the girls here weren’t as pretty as the ones near tsucchi’s house.)
“You’re fucking pathetic.”
Ryu cannot remember the last time Hayato had ever spat his words out at him. There’ve been fights before - both silly, and serious. Hayato had refused to look at him for a day when he found out that Ryu had received a Valentine’s Day present from a girl that they had both thought was ugly; and Ryu had punched Hayato square in the mouth when he’d tried to tease Ryu into telling him about his father. In Ryu’s mind, the word ‘fight’ implies reconciliation. This time, it feels too much like an ending. He blinks, suddenly when a raindrop hits his eyebrow, and catches sight of Hayato’s hands. They’re not clenched into fists, the way they are before a fight. They are lose, and nervous, and he’s fiddling with his ring, pulling it to the tip of his finger, and then pushing it back up again. Ryu blinks again, and he sees fists.
(the others had teased hayato about the ring for ages, asking if it was from a girl, and how the hell did he get so lucky anyway? hayato always smirked about it and mimed zipping his mouth. ryu had just shrugged, and waited for hayato to break and tell him. he had lasted four days. hayato ambled up to him and had asked him why he didn’t care, and when ryu had just smiled his superiority, hayato had tickled him into submission, until ryu had breathlessly begged for hayato to just tell him already. hayato had laughed and said he’d found it. he had kept it because he felt like he was keeping something precious. ryu had taken a deep breath, before calling hayato a fucking girl.)
He doesn’t realise he’s turned and is walking away, until he hears Hayato’s voice behind him.
And a part of him refuses to believe it’s his best friend’s voice because he’s never heard it sound like this. He doesn’t recognise it, and he tells himself repeatedly that it isn’t Hayato’s. He can’t understand why he is finding it hard to breathe, or why his pace increases even as he hears footsteps behind him. He can barely make out the people in front of him because there’s something wet in his eye.
“Ryu!”
And he finds himself flat on the pavement, with Hayato on top of him, and suddenly everything is familiar again, and he breathes in a sigh of relief. He finds himself hauled up by the collar, and he reaches forward to grab Hayato’s wrists. They’re looking at each other, and now he can feel the people around him beginning to take notice, to step out of the way. He can hear the snide comments about hooligans, and teenagers, and delinquents, and he wants to burst out laughing because he feels at ease. It’s them against the world again - everything back to normal. Except Hayato’s eyes are hostile, and he’d said it’d never be normal again.
Hayato shoves him, and he shoves back, and they’re in an alley, wall against Ryu’s back - neither of them willing to throw the first punch. Ryu eyes Hayato warily, and watches him clench and unclench his fists. He shuts his eyes for a minute, and when he opens them, he wants all of this to end.
He feels his knuckles break skin, and then they’re both on the concrete, trying to scratch and punch and bruise their way to victory. Except, Ryu’s not sure what victory entails in this case. He’s not sure he wants it. Hayato drags him up after his head has collided with the pavement so many times, he thinks he’s seeing double, and isn’t he lucky in that case? He finds himself up against the wall again, and Hayato’s glaring at him, and he thinks he’s sobbing because the rain has never tasted salty before.
Hayato’s panting, and Ryu’s panting, and Ryu’s eyes are just beginning to focus again when Hayato drags his head forward and kisses him. Ryu doesn’t think he should like this as much as he does, this battle they are engaging in with teeth and tongues. Hayato has a hand in his hair, tugging right at the roots, and Ryu has both his hands up Hayato’s shirt holding him close, and when he tries to break away, using his nails to draw him back again. They are breathing savagely into each other’s mouths, their lips swollen and bitten. Ryu can taste blood and he barely has time to register the triumph on Hayato’s face before he’s being pulled forward again. Hayato looks down at his lips with half hooded eyes, and Ryu has never felt this much energy course through his body before. He pulls Hayato forward so their lips smash against each other again, and Ryu can feel Hayato’s tongue sucking on his lower lip. He pulls away slightly, and he sees Hayato’s face close.
And then, all the pressure around him, the weight against him is gone.
“I hate you, Ryu.”
Ryu watches Hayato step back, and walk away.
(ryu absently wonders why nothing around him looks familiar anymore. he straightens his jacket and starts walking, wondering how he’ll get home this time.)
AND! The No-Good Boy decided to be nice and buy me vintage Who! When I get back from 10 +++ hours of slaving away in IKEA (DOWEJIHRIO KIDS. HATE KIDS. SCREAMING SCUM.), I HAVE TOM BAKER! WHEEEE!
EDIT: MORE SINGAPORE SONGS: http://www.mediafire.com//?sharekey=7a7de2f444fd767995af63b7d44918aa674b555dafba47c7
BUT! THINGS!
Truth, because I can't stop listening to it on a fucking loop wtf?
Tanya Chua - Where I Belong, my favourite Singapore National Day song. Er. Happy Birthday, Singapore?
My Maximo Park folder. It's an ever-growing thing.
I finished watching Gokusen 2, and at the end I tried to make sense of the story line. But mostly, I just flailed a lot.
“Nothing can ever be the same, again. Nothing.”
Ryu looks at Hayato. The sun is slinking away slowly, but its last rays are throwing Hayato’s face in sharp relief. Ryu can make out the loathing and the anger, but he doesn’t look hard enough to see the hurt. He can’t bring himself to. He doesn’t even begin to see the confusion. The street is busy, and Ryu can distantly make out elbows and shoulders slamming against each other, people barely murmuring their apologies as they shove past the two of them.
(he can’t help but remember the last time they came this way: taking the wrong turn and with no idea how to get back to the places they were familiar with. to the streets that they could walk down, pretending they owned. there’s a ramen shop two streets down that they had ducked into because it’s the only thing they could afford, and of course hayato was hungry. he had insisted that getting lost meant twice as much food, and ryu had rolled his eyes and said he’d rather pay for them both than watch hayato cry. hayato had challenged him to a chopstick duel as they retraced their steps, and after three battles lost, one draw, and fourteen won, ryu had turned around to see the school. ryu remembers laughing a lot, that evening.)
“Fine. I don’t care.”
Ryu doesn’t believe that Hayato believes him, but there’s nothing else he can do. He’s standing in the middle of a crowded street, being jostled by people who don’t give him a second glance - if they even spared him a first - glaring at his not-so-best-friend-anymore. His entire body is tense, because he knows Hayato better than he knows himself, and he knows that the tilt of his head is a challenge, and that the way his shoulders are bunched forward means Hayato is trying oh so desperately to protect himself. Ryu thinks he can feel his heart breaking, but he’s never been completely sure when it comes to himself, so he lets it go.
(they ran away from home, once. just once, because hayato had felt guilty about leaving taku behind, and ryu had felt guilty about leaving take behind. they’d sat down in the corner of a street because hayato had insisted that it’s what people did in all the movies, and made up stories about all the people who walked by. hayato kept seeing yakuza bosses, and ryu insisted he kept seeing salarymen who were superheroes by night. the only thing they agreed on was that the girls here weren’t as pretty as the ones near tsucchi’s house.)
“You’re fucking pathetic.”
Ryu cannot remember the last time Hayato had ever spat his words out at him. There’ve been fights before - both silly, and serious. Hayato had refused to look at him for a day when he found out that Ryu had received a Valentine’s Day present from a girl that they had both thought was ugly; and Ryu had punched Hayato square in the mouth when he’d tried to tease Ryu into telling him about his father. In Ryu’s mind, the word ‘fight’ implies reconciliation. This time, it feels too much like an ending. He blinks, suddenly when a raindrop hits his eyebrow, and catches sight of Hayato’s hands. They’re not clenched into fists, the way they are before a fight. They are lose, and nervous, and he’s fiddling with his ring, pulling it to the tip of his finger, and then pushing it back up again. Ryu blinks again, and he sees fists.
(the others had teased hayato about the ring for ages, asking if it was from a girl, and how the hell did he get so lucky anyway? hayato always smirked about it and mimed zipping his mouth. ryu had just shrugged, and waited for hayato to break and tell him. he had lasted four days. hayato ambled up to him and had asked him why he didn’t care, and when ryu had just smiled his superiority, hayato had tickled him into submission, until ryu had breathlessly begged for hayato to just tell him already. hayato had laughed and said he’d found it. he had kept it because he felt like he was keeping something precious. ryu had taken a deep breath, before calling hayato a fucking girl.)
He doesn’t realise he’s turned and is walking away, until he hears Hayato’s voice behind him.
And a part of him refuses to believe it’s his best friend’s voice because he’s never heard it sound like this. He doesn’t recognise it, and he tells himself repeatedly that it isn’t Hayato’s. He can’t understand why he is finding it hard to breathe, or why his pace increases even as he hears footsteps behind him. He can barely make out the people in front of him because there’s something wet in his eye.
“Ryu!”
And he finds himself flat on the pavement, with Hayato on top of him, and suddenly everything is familiar again, and he breathes in a sigh of relief. He finds himself hauled up by the collar, and he reaches forward to grab Hayato’s wrists. They’re looking at each other, and now he can feel the people around him beginning to take notice, to step out of the way. He can hear the snide comments about hooligans, and teenagers, and delinquents, and he wants to burst out laughing because he feels at ease. It’s them against the world again - everything back to normal. Except Hayato’s eyes are hostile, and he’d said it’d never be normal again.
Hayato shoves him, and he shoves back, and they’re in an alley, wall against Ryu’s back - neither of them willing to throw the first punch. Ryu eyes Hayato warily, and watches him clench and unclench his fists. He shuts his eyes for a minute, and when he opens them, he wants all of this to end.
He feels his knuckles break skin, and then they’re both on the concrete, trying to scratch and punch and bruise their way to victory. Except, Ryu’s not sure what victory entails in this case. He’s not sure he wants it. Hayato drags him up after his head has collided with the pavement so many times, he thinks he’s seeing double, and isn’t he lucky in that case? He finds himself up against the wall again, and Hayato’s glaring at him, and he thinks he’s sobbing because the rain has never tasted salty before.
Hayato’s panting, and Ryu’s panting, and Ryu’s eyes are just beginning to focus again when Hayato drags his head forward and kisses him. Ryu doesn’t think he should like this as much as he does, this battle they are engaging in with teeth and tongues. Hayato has a hand in his hair, tugging right at the roots, and Ryu has both his hands up Hayato’s shirt holding him close, and when he tries to break away, using his nails to draw him back again. They are breathing savagely into each other’s mouths, their lips swollen and bitten. Ryu can taste blood and he barely has time to register the triumph on Hayato’s face before he’s being pulled forward again. Hayato looks down at his lips with half hooded eyes, and Ryu has never felt this much energy course through his body before. He pulls Hayato forward so their lips smash against each other again, and Ryu can feel Hayato’s tongue sucking on his lower lip. He pulls away slightly, and he sees Hayato’s face close.
And then, all the pressure around him, the weight against him is gone.
“I hate you, Ryu.”
Ryu watches Hayato step back, and walk away.
(ryu absently wonders why nothing around him looks familiar anymore. he straightens his jacket and starts walking, wondering how he’ll get home this time.)
AND! The No-Good Boy decided to be nice and buy me vintage Who! When I get back from 10 +++ hours of slaving away in IKEA (DOWEJIHRIO KIDS. HATE KIDS. SCREAMING SCUM.), I HAVE TOM BAKER! WHEEEE!
EDIT: MORE SINGAPORE SONGS: http://www.mediafire.com//?sharekey=7a7de2f444fd767995af63b7d44918aa674b555dafba47c7