Ninja Assassin: A Review
NINJA ASSASSIN WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!
If you want a semi-legitimate excuse for watching a little over 1.5 hours of shirtless Rain. :Db
So SORA-CHYON and I went to see Ninja Assassin today!!
By the way I had a nice Thanksgiving and it is WONDERFUL TO BE HOME ;D; WA weather is so much more fall-appropriate. XD And the air is cleeaaannn~ haha. Um but yeah.
So we went to see Ninja Assassin today!!
Don't worry, we were both pretty sure it was going to suck. :D I was hoping they busted all the budget on the special effects, and SORA-CHYON just wanted it to be really, really bad.
WE WERE NOT LET DOWN ♥
The movie plot is essentially this: Raizo is a good-looking young Asian man who is probably supposed to be Japanese but is actually played by Korean pop star Rain. Though he looks, uh, normal, he's actually a ninja who's betrayed his clan because he has a Heart [potential plot point!] and did not want to kill some girl once. Because he betrayed his clan, they are now after his life because, you know, that's how things work in non-Naruto ninja worlds. RAIZO KILLS EVERYONE [potential plot point missed].
There's also some things thrown in about this chick named Mika [she's not Asian] who's been doing some digging on ninja clans, who eventually gets targeted to be offed because people aren't supposed to know that ninjas still exist. Yeah.
There isn't much in terms of plot - certainly nothing deep, though they make a valiant stab [teehee, stab.] at it with all the talk about having a Heart. But the whole thing is rather convoluted, see, 'cause RAIZO KILLING EVERYONE doesn't say much about him having a Heart. It's a pretty straightforward plot to follow anyway.
As for acting... definitely not the best, but also definitely not the worst acting I've ever seen. It's hard to make a decent call on this because a) I'm not really anyone to judge and b) Rain is Korean and English is not his native language. The entire film is conducted in English, by the way - even when they're training in what I suppose is some random mountain in Japan.
Rain's English isn't perfect - there's no doubt about that - but he did alright with what he was given and with his own limitations, being a non-native speaker. He definitely had an accent, but he was still understandable. It should also be noted that he had significantly fewer lines than most lead characters do.
Because of the language barrier, some of the acting was definitely a little questionable. But seriously - was anyone really watching the movie for the acting? I doubt that.
The rest of the acting was all right. I'm not sure if it was the script or the length of the cuts or whatever, but some parts were just awkward. Like, some things were in the movie that definitely did not need to be [but the movie is short enough already at 99 minutes - just over an hour and a half]. On the other hand if one cut out all the unnecessary footage from the film, Rain's abs wouldn't get nearly as much screen time as they did!
*ahem*
So given the simple plot [or lack thereof] and passable acting, the main focus of the film is obvious - RAIZO KILLING EVERYONE the action sequenceeessss!!
This film is definitely not for those with weak stomachs or who can't handle gore well, because there is a BOATLOAD of it. Even within the first, say, seven minutes or so of the film, you've got people getting half their heads lopped off and limbs flying everywhere - and the sheer amounts of BLOOD! Sooo much blood.
I'm not one much for gore myself, so I spent most of these sequences with my eyes half-closed, actually. But the less gory fights I did enjoy, because I like high-speed choreographed fight scenes. I'm inclined to believe Rain did most of his stunts himself, which gets him an A+ since some of that stuff looked pretty cool - when you could see it.
Yes, when you could see it.
It should be kept in mind that this is a film called Ninja Assassin. NINJA Assassin. You know how ninjas operate? In. The. DARK.
Yyyup, so the first seven minutes I mentioned earlier where EVERYONE IS SLAUGHTERED? You only see people DYING EVERYWHERE. The lights go out, and then everyone starts dying. Although, those people wouldn't have put up much of a fight anyway so there's no point in wasting an action scene on them, but still.
The rest of the scenes are a little better. There was actual fighting. Most of them involved Raizo fighting off Other Ninjas, which results in RAIZO KILLING EVERYONE. But they looked quite cool. Actually, the first real fight of the film takes place in a very well-lit place - the laundromat! :D
But I actually enjoyed the fight scenes, even if they were sort of covered up with shadow or BLOOD sometimes. They put effort into that and it shows. And ooh, Rain doing his own stunts. Very cool.
Overall, the film was not very good. XD I say this somewhat affectionately, because really - we weren't expecting it to be good. We went to see it for Rain (we're not even avid fans of him. It's just cool to see someone like that in a Hollywood film), and that was mostly it. I kind of wanted to see cool action scenes.
I wouldn't recommend this film for anyone who wants something really high quality, or for people who have weak stomachs or who can't handle a lot of gore. The acting is passable, and the plotline is pretty simple. But if you're a fan of Rain and want to see him on the big screen in America, speaking in [accented] English - go for it! Just don't expect something amazing. :D
YES there were highlights. It should be noted that SORA-CHYON'S impression of the film was "I was laughing the whole time" and mine was "IT WAS GROSSSSS."
So one of my favorite scenes was the first one with grownup!Raizo. In the laundromat. I don't know - just the transition from whatever was happening before to the utter mundaneness of him doing his laundry was epic lolz. Just don't think too hard about how he managed to fit a diced up body into a washing machine without getting blood on the floor.
With scenes like this it's pretty hard to tell if the film is actually taking itself seriously. There were definitely funny moments - like the whole 34/36 thing. That was lulzy, just 'cause Rainzo was like ">_> Srsly? w/e."
And then the part where Raizo was in the cell, and the guard was like "He doesn't look like he can kill anyone. He looks more like he should be in a boy band." THE ENTIRE THEATRE SNORTED. SERIOUSLY. EVERYONE was like "PFFT" because - really - that's why anyone was watching it in the first place.
Seriously, would NEARLY as many people have gone to see the movie if Rain wasn't in it? I don't think so.
Which leads us to another highlight - the star of the film: RAIN'S AAAAABBBSSS!!!! :DDD
Yeah. They were there a lot. A loooot. Hahahaa. Normally I prefer guys to keep their shirts on [no, really.], but since Rain isn't like a stick [he's quite toned, really. Thank you movie training. :D], he's not bad too look at. Teehee. Most of the time he's got blood ALL OVER HIM though. Or like gashes and cuts and stuff. But if you're into that kinda thing, well all the better. XD;;
Yeah, um, but I wouldn't watch it again. Like, the thing I'm looking forward to the most out of the DVD release of this movie is the icons people are going to make. XDD I know, WHAT, right? But srsly. Hahahahaaaa *dies*
A terribly awkward but also "ROFL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY OR SOMETHING" scene was when he was in the cell, and Mika was giving him water. I was like "LOL." the whole time. Rain drinks water, kids - YOU SHOULD TOO! And look how good he looks when he does it. Yyyyeap.
Hahahah I should sleep or something.
Lol "highlights." Being the laundromat scene, the film knowing enough not to take itself seriously, and RAIN'S ABS. Mmmhmm.
By the way, one of my favorite parts of going to movies is WATCHING THE PREVIEWS YAAAYYY!! No seriously I don't know why, but I love watching them.
Except most of the previews this time SUCKED. XD
There was one for Armored, The Book of Eli, Prince of Persia [is a DISNEY film? lol], and Sherlock Holmes... and probably one more that we both forgot. The only one that looked good was Sherlock. Even though we both agree Prince of Persia looks pretty terrible, we want to see it anyway. SEE WHAT WE DO? We think movies are going to suck but we watch them anyway. XD Aren't we silly.
But yeah. Maybe tomorrow there will be good previews. :D Maybe not.
Tomorrow I will hopefully see The Road!! Yaaaayyyy Viggo Mortensen. It's like two special people in a row. [??]
PS: YOU HAVE A SPECIAL HEART.
If you want a semi-legitimate excuse for watching a little over 1.5 hours of shirtless Rain. :Db
So SORA-CHYON and I went to see Ninja Assassin today!!
By the way I had a nice Thanksgiving and it is WONDERFUL TO BE HOME ;D; WA weather is so much more fall-appropriate. XD And the air is cleeaaannn~ haha. Um but yeah.
So we went to see Ninja Assassin today!!
Don't worry, we were both pretty sure it was going to suck. :D I was hoping they busted all the budget on the special effects, and SORA-CHYON just wanted it to be really, really bad.
WE WERE NOT LET DOWN ♥
The movie plot is essentially this: Raizo is a good-looking young Asian man who is probably supposed to be Japanese but is actually played by Korean pop star Rain. Though he looks, uh, normal, he's actually a ninja who's betrayed his clan because he has a Heart [potential plot point!] and did not want to kill some girl once. Because he betrayed his clan, they are now after his life because, you know, that's how things work in non-Naruto ninja worlds. RAIZO KILLS EVERYONE [potential plot point missed].
There's also some things thrown in about this chick named Mika [she's not Asian] who's been doing some digging on ninja clans, who eventually gets targeted to be offed because people aren't supposed to know that ninjas still exist. Yeah.
There isn't much in terms of plot - certainly nothing deep, though they make a valiant stab [teehee, stab.] at it with all the talk about having a Heart. But the whole thing is rather convoluted, see, 'cause RAIZO KILLING EVERYONE doesn't say much about him having a Heart. It's a pretty straightforward plot to follow anyway.
As for acting... definitely not the best, but also definitely not the worst acting I've ever seen. It's hard to make a decent call on this because a) I'm not really anyone to judge and b) Rain is Korean and English is not his native language. The entire film is conducted in English, by the way - even when they're training in what I suppose is some random mountain in Japan.
Rain's English isn't perfect - there's no doubt about that - but he did alright with what he was given and with his own limitations, being a non-native speaker. He definitely had an accent, but he was still understandable. It should also be noted that he had significantly fewer lines than most lead characters do.
Because of the language barrier, some of the acting was definitely a little questionable. But seriously - was anyone really watching the movie for the acting? I doubt that.
The rest of the acting was all right. I'm not sure if it was the script or the length of the cuts or whatever, but some parts were just awkward. Like, some things were in the movie that definitely did not need to be [but the movie is short enough already at 99 minutes - just over an hour and a half]. On the other hand if one cut out all the unnecessary footage from the film, Rain's abs wouldn't get nearly as much screen time as they did!
*ahem*
So given the simple plot [or lack thereof] and passable acting, the main focus of the film is obvious - RAIZO KILLING EVERYONE the action sequenceeessss!!
This film is definitely not for those with weak stomachs or who can't handle gore well, because there is a BOATLOAD of it. Even within the first, say, seven minutes or so of the film, you've got people getting half their heads lopped off and limbs flying everywhere - and the sheer amounts of BLOOD! Sooo much blood.
I'm not one much for gore myself, so I spent most of these sequences with my eyes half-closed, actually. But the less gory fights I did enjoy, because I like high-speed choreographed fight scenes. I'm inclined to believe Rain did most of his stunts himself, which gets him an A+ since some of that stuff looked pretty cool - when you could see it.
Yes, when you could see it.
It should be kept in mind that this is a film called Ninja Assassin. NINJA Assassin. You know how ninjas operate? In. The. DARK.
Yyyup, so the first seven minutes I mentioned earlier where EVERYONE IS SLAUGHTERED? You only see people DYING EVERYWHERE. The lights go out, and then everyone starts dying. Although, those people wouldn't have put up much of a fight anyway so there's no point in wasting an action scene on them, but still.
The rest of the scenes are a little better. There was actual fighting. Most of them involved Raizo fighting off Other Ninjas, which results in RAIZO KILLING EVERYONE. But they looked quite cool. Actually, the first real fight of the film takes place in a very well-lit place - the laundromat! :D
But I actually enjoyed the fight scenes, even if they were sort of covered up with shadow or BLOOD sometimes. They put effort into that and it shows. And ooh, Rain doing his own stunts. Very cool.
Overall, the film was not very good. XD I say this somewhat affectionately, because really - we weren't expecting it to be good. We went to see it for Rain (we're not even avid fans of him. It's just cool to see someone like that in a Hollywood film), and that was mostly it. I kind of wanted to see cool action scenes.
I wouldn't recommend this film for anyone who wants something really high quality, or for people who have weak stomachs or who can't handle a lot of gore. The acting is passable, and the plotline is pretty simple. But if you're a fan of Rain and want to see him on the big screen in America, speaking in [accented] English - go for it! Just don't expect something amazing. :D
YES there were highlights. It should be noted that SORA-CHYON'S impression of the film was "I was laughing the whole time" and mine was "IT WAS GROSSSSS."
So one of my favorite scenes was the first one with grownup!Raizo. In the laundromat. I don't know - just the transition from whatever was happening before to the utter mundaneness of him doing his laundry was epic lolz. Just don't think too hard about how he managed to fit a diced up body into a washing machine without getting blood on the floor.
With scenes like this it's pretty hard to tell if the film is actually taking itself seriously. There were definitely funny moments - like the whole 34/36 thing. That was lulzy, just 'cause Rainzo was like ">_> Srsly? w/e."
And then the part where Raizo was in the cell, and the guard was like "He doesn't look like he can kill anyone. He looks more like he should be in a boy band." THE ENTIRE THEATRE SNORTED. SERIOUSLY. EVERYONE was like "PFFT" because - really - that's why anyone was watching it in the first place.
Seriously, would NEARLY as many people have gone to see the movie if Rain wasn't in it? I don't think so.
Which leads us to another highlight - the star of the film: RAIN'S AAAAABBBSSS!!!! :DDD
Yeah. They were there a lot. A loooot. Hahahaa. Normally I prefer guys to keep their shirts on [no, really.], but since Rain isn't like a stick [he's quite toned, really. Thank you movie training. :D], he's not bad too look at. Teehee. Most of the time he's got blood ALL OVER HIM though. Or like gashes and cuts and stuff. But if you're into that kinda thing, well all the better. XD;;
Yeah, um, but I wouldn't watch it again. Like, the thing I'm looking forward to the most out of the DVD release of this movie is the icons people are going to make. XDD I know, WHAT, right? But srsly. Hahahahaaaa *dies*
A terribly awkward but also "ROFL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY OR SOMETHING" scene was when he was in the cell, and Mika was giving him water. I was like "LOL." the whole time. Rain drinks water, kids - YOU SHOULD TOO! And look how good he looks when he does it. Yyyyeap.
Hahahah I should sleep or something.
Lol "highlights." Being the laundromat scene, the film knowing enough not to take itself seriously, and RAIN'S ABS. Mmmhmm.
By the way, one of my favorite parts of going to movies is WATCHING THE PREVIEWS YAAAYYY!! No seriously I don't know why, but I love watching them.
Except most of the previews this time SUCKED. XD
There was one for Armored, The Book of Eli, Prince of Persia [is a DISNEY film? lol], and Sherlock Holmes... and probably one more that we both forgot. The only one that looked good was Sherlock. Even though we both agree Prince of Persia looks pretty terrible, we want to see it anyway. SEE WHAT WE DO? We think movies are going to suck but we watch them anyway. XD Aren't we silly.
But yeah. Maybe tomorrow there will be good previews. :D Maybe not.
Tomorrow I will hopefully see The Road!! Yaaaayyyy Viggo Mortensen. It's like two special people in a row. [??]
PS: YOU HAVE A SPECIAL HEART.