“No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys.”

[cognizantblood]

Each and every room she went through again. Turn the knobs this way and that, finding nothing new, nothing she couldn't place before. Everything was as it had been since she'd arrived and her own agitation and worry grew with each moment.

Marc was in Port Obscura, with all the dangerous and horrible things that it had within and Alida was...here. Lost. In some place where millions of people got lost. It was good to hear from him but it was worse to be separated. She needed to get home. Or where he was, either way.

Since she was the one lost, it was probably her responsibility to get found again.

Alida stopped at Marc's room and paused. In this new house, that worried and fussed and shaped itself to her memories, she had never gone into Marc's room. Because he wasn't in it so it wasn't the same. Now, today...perhaps it was worth exploring. However, the door was locked.

She stared at it for a moment before rummaging through pockets, going back into the room she slept in, trying to find the key. Any key. The only one she found was a heavy brass skeleton that hummed in her hand, giving the Alida the impression of touching a live wire underwater. Before she could decide to get distracted trying to figure it out, she used it on the locked door.

It opened, but there was a strong sense of vertigo as she stepped through the door and suddenly she was home. Not in the Nexus, but in Port Obscura, standing in Marc's room with the key in her hand and PINPoint in her pocket. Though he wasn't there. Well. Not in his room, at least.

Which meant Alida ran down the stairs in the hopes of finding him.

She has a pretty good shot at finding Marc in either the laundry room or the kitchen on most days. Today, it's the kitchen. Where he is, of all things, cleaning the stove and texting at the same damn time. Oh Marc, what a strange boy you are indeed.

Normally Alida would say something to get his attention off the stove so she could talk to him. Normally she'd be a bit more distressed and shy about running up and hugging him.

Today is not normal. "Marc!"

Is that a bad thing, that it's not normal? Marc doesn't think so, not really. Though, he is a bit taken aback by the sudden run and hug. "Found a door, I take it?" No, really?

"I found a key. I'm sorry I got lost." At least she didn't hurtle him into the stove? "I missed you."

Thank God for that. His patterns would be all sorts of messed up. "I'm sorry you got lost. I missed you too."

"Are you angry?" Letting go, finally, to fold her hands and look at Marc with a rather panic-laced seriousness. "I didn't mean to. I didn't find anyone from here. No one knew of Port Obscura and it made no sense and I couldn't find you or a way home and I asked everyone I spoke to nearly."

"No, I'm not angry. Why would I be angry?" He shakes his head. "It sounds very insane there."

"Because it was foolish and I got lost. It's where a lot of people get lost. I didn't mind I just wanted you to be there too."

"I'm not angry. It's not your fault if you got lost there, if other people do too." He shrugs.

"Has it been a month here?"

"Longer, I think."

Alida whines and sits in a chair. "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault. What happened with the other bit? The woman who called me?"

"...I didn't eat for six days." Alida. Is that an answer, really?

He frowns at that. Quite a bit. "Eat something now." Oh, Marc. "What else?"

So, up she gets to eat something. "They died."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good that they can't hurt anyone. Bad that I killed them." Opening a blood bag and looking at the floor.

"Eat." Stern look. Did you really miss that, Alida? "Why bad that you killed them?"

Frowning but doing it. Still looking at the floor. "Because. I don't like it. Killing people."

"Ah. Well, then. You're not a monster. So stop telling people that you are."

"If I believe it I can say it."

"If you want. You shouldn't. I don't believe it."

"I don't understand that, I don't understand why or how you can decide I'm not a monster just because you love me!" So incredibly agitated.

"That's not the only reason." Clearly so. Oh, Alida.

"Because I mean well." Obviously she doesn't find that a valid reason.

"Because you feel bad about it."

"So? All that means is I have remorse. So do some serial killers."

"Oh, you're hardly a serial killer."

"I fail to see the difference!"

"Explain why there's not?"

"They have a compulsion to kill. So do I at times." That is not even vaguely the same, woman.

"Not for the same reasons."

Alida is not buying it. So she drinks her blood instead. "I don't understand why we're talking about this."

"Because you're upset about it."

"I'm always upset about it. What did you do while I was gone?" Insert lame attempt at changing the subject here.

He'll take it. For now. "Cleaned. Shopped. Restocked."

"Did I break any patterns?"

"No, letting me know that you'd be gone helped with that." He was able to adjust.

"I'm glad. I'm sorry." Finishing that blood bag and throwing it out.

"You don't have to be sorry."

"I didn't mean to get lost."

"I know you didn't."

"All right." Have another hug Marc.

"Okay, then." And have another one right back, Alida.

"I missed you. I said that already. I don't know what to say now."

"Are you going to stay there?"

"I'm staying where you are."

"Do you want to stay there?"

She blinks. Fidgets. "It's safer. In a way."

He nods. "Do you think that I should?"

"Ah." Alida frowns. "There are fewer patterns. So many different people and no real structure. But there is not an economy either and we could always stay home. If you want. I don't want to decide for both of us."

"We could see how it is. How I adapt. If you like."

"...Okay."

"All right, then." Have a smile, Alida.

Alida smiles back. "If we don't stay I do want you to meet a few people, either way. Is that all right?"

"Sure. Of course that's all right. Who?"

"The friends I made. Two boys. One has a Fate, but it's different and the other is the one I think is an Avatar. The other vampire. We had an interesting conversation about prostitutes."

He'll just quietly boggle about all of that, okay? "...I see?"

Alida looks at him very seriously. "People sell blood for sex where he is from. I cannot imagine it. Can you? Oh and I suspect I am supposed to ask if I am your girlfriend now."

"I can't imagine that, no." Really. No. Not at all. "Do you want to be?"

"...Do I want to be a prostitute?"

"...No. No. My girlfriend." Here, Alida. Have a Look.

"Oh. Yes." Blank Look in response. She might have done that on purpose. Or maybe not. It's been a strange day.

Apparently so. "Then, yes."

"If I had said no?"

"I would still want you to, but it's your choice not mine."

"Would you have asked if I didn't?"

"Eventually."

"How long is eventually?"

He considers this. "Eleven months and twelve days."

"Why that long?"

He shrugs. "It's the right amount."

"What is the significance of that, then? That long." It has to mean something, right?

Maybe. Maybe not. Probably, yes. "It just fits my patterns, that's all."

"Can you explain it? Would it have been a year?"

"No. A year is too long. Ten months is too little. Eleven months would've been enough. Eleven months and...twelve days." He can't really explain his patterns, can he?

"...Did I disrupt by asking first?"

He shakes his head. "I'm still talking, right?

"Oh." So now Alida reaches out and touches his nose. "Is there something else you are waiting to ask me?"

Oh, Alida. He thinks about this. "I don't know. What else were you thinking that I would?"

She likes doing that. "About sex, maybe." She shrugs.

"Maybe. Did you want me to?"

"I don't want to be the one to ask."

He ahs. "Did you want to?"

Alida thinks about it. "I'm not opposed to the idea. You said you were interested. You are not the first, but." More shrugging.

He smirks, just a little amused. "So enthusiastic."

"I turned the others down." Have a glare, Marc.

Aw. "Which others?"

"People in clubs. Other vampires. Others."

"Ahhh." Well, he's not bothered by that.

"What does that mean?"

"It means 'I see'."

"You see what, exactly?" Staring, so much staring.

"Nothing specific. It's an expression."

"I realize that. What thing that is not specific then?"

Well. That just confuses him. "...what?"

"You're thinking something and I wish you'd be out with it."

"What do you think I'm thinking?"

"I don't know and I wish you would just tell me already."

He smirks. And instead of that? How about he kisses her.

That is all sorts of startling, apparently. So much so that Alida doesn't actual think about warming her skin, first. Just...kisses Marc and stares at him when that's done.

Well, that works. "So. Again. Do you want to?"

"Do I want to have sex with you?" Slightly startled response and one wonders what Alida expected, really. "Yes."

No, do you want to bake a pie with him. Of course sex. "All right then."

"...Then? Now? What?" Oh, Alida.

"If you like." All up to her, apparently.

She isn't too thrilled with it being up to her. "I have not done that in a long time."

He really doesn't want it to be up to him, apparently. "No? How long?"

"A decade, perhaps."

"Aha. Well. We could wait."

"Do you want to wait? I don't..." Alida sighs. "I have no idea what I am doing."

"Whatever you want."

"I don't know what I want! I don't want to choose. I don't want you to not be where I am again."

"Do you want us to go back there?"

"I don't understand what that has to do with sex. I am fine with staying here for now."

"All right." Hold on a second, Alida. So he can get oven cleaner off his hands, ok? Once that's done, he'll kiss her again.

Still wasn't expecting it but this time? She remembers to warm her skin. So that's either nice, startling, or both.

Or both. Sure. "Ten years for you, and I've never been with anyone like you." A vampire, one assumes. So. Newish for both.

"Are you sure about this?" Alida is used to new things but not with Marc.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" It's not exactly a pattern disruption, is it?

Alida shrugs. "I don't know. What if you don't like it?"

"Why wouldn't I like it?"

"Not everyone likes sex, I'd assume."

"I do." No, really.

"I'm nervous." Obviously. "But I like kissing you."

"We can wait. We don't have to jump in all at once."

"I don't think waiting will dispel my nervousness, to be honest."

"All right." So. More kissing for now?

More kissing works. Eventually Alida can get into the swing of that and kiss properly as opposed to some shy teenager.

That certainly works. And maybe Marc can get them moved into the bedroom. His, obviously. Maybe obviously.

Well, she likes his room. For a lot of reasons. Mostly because it's his. Moved to the bedroom though means that Alida sits in the middle of it cross-legged and just...looks at Marc.

Still kind of nervous but not as much.

Sitting beside her on the bed, and smiling at her. Maybe a little nervous himself. "I did miss you."

Alida smiles in return. "I'm glad I was missed. I'm glad I didn't disrupt your patterns. I'm sorry that you were sad."

"I'm sorry you were lost." So, he'll kiss her again. for that.

Closing her eyes. "I didn't particularly like it. I wasn't always safe."

Slight frown. "Will you be now? Safe?"

"Yes." Opening her eyes. "I fell. On purpose."

"Why?" Slightly worried look.

"Because I was sad. Because you weren't there to tell me not to."

"Well. Don't do that again." Kissing her again. Lightly.

"All right. I promise." Blushing, slightly. Which is not really on purpose but she only has so much control over what her body does when she gets it to respond like it's alive in the first place.

"I didn't do anything like that. So you know." Kiss to her cheek, her throat. "All right?"

"I'm glad. I would worry." And be terribly frightened if he had. "Yes." So Alida puts her arms around his shoulders.

"I wouldn't want you to worry." And he'll touch her cheek.

"I do, though, anyway." Because Marc is human and therefore fragile. Also he is important to her and probably wouldn't survive throwing himself out of a second story window. Alida mimics the motion and lets her fingers go down the side of his neck.

Besides, that's not a very dark fate. "I know you do. That's all right." Shivering a bit at that. Kissing her again.

Shivering means she keeps her eyes open this time when he kisses her and she kisses back. "Do you like that?" Doing it again.

"I do. Do you?" Keeping his hand on her cheek.

"Yes. I like your reaction." Alida smiles.

He grins at that, and brushes fingers down her arm. "How about that?"

Biting her lip and nodding. "Yes."

Well, good. He'll just kiss her again. Maybe bite her lip himself.

That makes her eyes go a little wide. If she breathed, she'd be having trouble right about now. "That was nice." So she'll bite his lip this time. Carefully.

And he doesn't mind that at all. "Very nice, yeah." Fingers down her back, and then up the back of her shirt.

"Mmm." Arching her back a little and undoing a button on his shirt. Just one.

Fingers back up her spine, then. "Hmm?"

"Very nice." Smiling. Kissing newly exposed skin. "Yes?"

"Yes. Definitely." Her shirt? Has got to go, right?

Oh, well, all right. Not protesting that just kind of watching it be removed. She's still taking her time with Marc's buttons, however.

Well, that's fine. He'll just work on kissing the side of her neck and shoulders then. Right?

Right. Now it's Alida's turn to shudder. Arch into him, a little. Undo another button, or two, and run her fingers over his chest.

Pressing closer to her. More of those kisses, he thinks. Since that got a reaction.

It did and it does. This time around the reaction is climbing into Marc's lap. That's nice, isn't it?

Of course it is. More of that, certainly then.

Alida is trying really hard to not ruin this here shirt of Marc's but. Well. That button just kind of went flying across the room. "Oops."

Good thing they have a sewing kit in the laundry room, hm? "Not a problem." And isn't that weird to say. He kisses her again.

"Because I did it? Because of why?" Smiling and moving her hands down his back now that the shirt is all undone. Kissing the underside of his jaw.

"Because this is more important." Humming a bit, and running his fingers down her arm. To her hip.

"All right. That's interesting." Grinning and kissing his throat. Down his chest. Shivering again.

"Really?" Lots of shivering on both of their parts. Kissing her wrist. Pulling her back up and closer.

"Yes, it is." Laughing a little. "Your belt buckle is digging into my thigh." Running fingers through his hair.

He will just have to fix that, by removing it and setting it on the nightstand. What? "Sorry."

That makes her laugh a little more, to be honest. "Don't be sorry." Kissing him again.

Smirking and kissing her back. "Right. Not sorry."

"Good." Ok the fact that his arms are still in this shirt is slightly ridiculous so Alida will solve that problem and run her fingertips across his shoulders.

So off goes that shirt then. Bye, shirt. Now he can feel free to touch her cheek again and kiss her. Again.

Kissing is very nice. Alida is also somewhat fascinated by finding his pulse in various places. Seeing what happens when she kisses there. Since she doesn't have one, even now and the last person she slept with didn't either.

What happens is that his pulse jumps, a little bit. So that's good. Right? And his fingers tangle in her hair, just a little.

That is good, or so she assumes. He doesn't seem to be complaining. So she will just move, a little, in his lap and keep that up.

He certainly is not complaining. In fact, he pulls her closer.

Alida smiles. "I think, perhaps, our clothes are in the way." Biting the underside of his chin, the inside of his wrist. "We should do something about that?"

He shivers at that too. "Yeah. We should do something about that." He'll get right on that.

Probably a lot more useful if she actually helps him, right? Right. Considering how there is an obscene amount of fabric in her clothing.

That would be VERY nice yes. Is she going to?

After a moment. She keeps getting distracted with interesting places to kiss that were clothed before.

After a while, he'll pull back and get focused on getting the clothes off of her.

Well, all right. That gets her cooperation, at least, though she does pause when they're all gone.

Being naked in front of someone is odd, to her.

It's a little odd. But. Instead of dwelling on that, he'll kiss her again. Pull her closer.

Kissing her again is a good way of distracting her from how strange it is to be naked, on purpose, with Marc, in his room. Because it is very strange to her right now. So is kissing when she gets right down to it but it's also pretty damned nice. So it's strangeness is being ignored.

It is strange, but it's a good strange. And he really likes kissing her. So he'll use that as an excuse to pull her even closer. As close as possible, apparently.

Alida makes a startled little sound but doesn't pull away or stop kissing him. In fact, she goes right back to wrapping her legs around his waist. Because that will probably help in this endeavor.

Eventually, though, something reminds her that he'll need to breathe, even if she doesn't. That's when kissing stops. For a moment.

He does, in fact, need to breathe. And that will help very much. He kisses her throat when she stops kissing him, runs his fingers down her back again. "This okay?"

"Yes." Closing her eyes and arching her neck. Her back. Keeping somewhat still to acclimate to it. It's very...warm. Overwhelming, a bit. "Yes. It's nice."

"Good. That's ah...good." Kissing her neck when she arches it, biting a bit. Lightly. Tangling his fingers with hers.

Moving a little. Experimentally. "Oh." Putting her forehead on his shoulder. "Should we lay down?" They might get dizzy this way. She might get dizzy.

They probably both would. "Um. Yeah. Lay down..." So, maneuvering that.

Maneuvering isn't that complicated. Leaning back and taking him with her is Alida's solution. "Better?" Kissing his throat again. "I like this."

It's a good solution. "Much better. I like it too. I like you." Kissing her back, moving a little. Slowly at first.

Keeping the hand that isn't holding his tangled in his hair, moving up and down his back. "I can tell, yes?" Laughing a little and that turns into a very interesting, throaty sound.

"I hope so." A little bit faster, then. Kissing where her shoulder meets her neck.

That? Is very nice. And prompts Alida to move with him. "Yes. I can, I know. Mm." Biting her lip and laughing again. "This is fun." Oh, Alida.

He smirks, just a bit. "Yes. Very fun. Oh. Wow."

"Wow?" Smiling and brushing fingertips across his cheeks. "Why wow? Tell me?" She can damn well guess, but.

Kissing her again, and moving with her. Against her. "Beside I like this. And I like you. You know that."

"Is it very different?" She thinks it's interesting the way his voice changes. The way her's does when she gets distracted by what they're doing. Alida kisses the shell of his ear. "I didn't know how much you liked this. I know you love me."

"Of course I like this. Different? It's always different." Kissing her neck, her shoulders. Biting. "I do. I love you."

"Oh. I meant. Hmm." Nevermind what she meant, apparently. "I love you too." Time to move a little faster, she thinks, and small bites in kind.

That's fine by him. "Good." He's glad of that, but anymore talking? Not going to happen. What will happen, apparently, is more stroking down her arm. Down her back. More moving. Faster now. A little harsher. "Oh."

Faster is good. Nice. Enthralling. So is hooking her legs behind him. "Mmm, yes." Putting her face in the crook of his neck. Moving faster with him, against him. Squeezing his hand and pulling his hair, a little.

Breathing fast. More erratically. Faster is great. "Yes? God." Biting her again, lightly.

Alida laughs again. "I can see why you like this." If faster is great then they should just keep going with that, shouldn't they? She clutches to his shoulder, pulls his weight into her.

He smiles, kissing her again. "Can you? Good." They really should, obviously.

Nodding, biting his lip, his shoulder, his throat, his ear. "I like it too." Which is surprising, to her, somehow. Somewhat. Something to think about later. "Oh." Alida closes her eyes, arches her back a bit.

He's glad of that. That she likes it. And uses that arch to move his hand down her back, to the small of it. "Good...Oh..." Fingers tracing over skin. "Alida."

That feels nice so Alida decides she is just going to have to stay arched, to some degree. Which isn't that hard considering it's what her body wants to do. "Marc, I..." Moaning, a bit, and completely forgetting what she'd wanted to say. Running her hand across his back.

Making a noise, a rather interesting one, at that. Kissing her, kissing her ear. "Yes? Whatever you want. Whatever you...oh need."

"This, you, more of both." Shaking and nearly sobbing when his emotions start bouncing around his her head and she can't keep them out. Doesn't want to. "Yes? All right?"

Worried look, but keeping moving. Keeping on kissing her. "All right. Yes. Whatever you want."

"It's good. Please, just..." Something. Anything. Moving and holding on for dear life or whatever. Kissing him back. "I love you." And it still terrifies her.

"I know. I love you." Moving and holding and kissing her. Fingers down her arm again. "Now?"

It still makes her shiver even as far gone as she's getting. As she is. "Now. All right." No idea what he's asking, honestly.

Which makes him laugh, just a little. Kiss her again. "You first, I think. Okay? God." Moving faster. More erratically. Harshly.

"...Oh." All right, now she gets it. Biting his lip and her own. "I can, I think, I will." Lots of fascinating little noise and erratic shifts on her part as well.

Getting lost in her, waiting for her to get more lost. Biting her lip, her throat. "God."

Whining, sobbing a bit. Kissing his ear. It dosen't take much for her to get utterly lost. "Marc, Marc."

"Alida." Kissing her. Harder and then lighter. Holding her closer and falling. Getting lost. "Oh..."

Squeezing his hand, touching his face. Watching him and being marveled by all of it. Kissing him lightly still. Moving until he stops.

Yes, Alida is certain that she rather likes this.

Kissing her again, when he stops. Rolling them both on their sides and holding her. Touching her cheek. "I love you. I do."

"I know." Brushing her fingers over his temple. "I can't keep you out of my head. Everything you feel." She shifts, tangling her legs with his. "I love you too. It's still frightening."

Pulling blankets over them. "Frightening. But not terrible, I hope?"

"No, not terrible. Nothing bad at all." Running a fingertip over his face. "I can sleep here? In the morning?"

He smiles at her, touching her cheek. "You can sleep here in the morning. Whenever you like."

"Really?" She thinks about it. "If you need to wake me you can. But I won't understand much."

"Wake you?" Petting at her hair.

"Yes. I don't know. If you need to." She can't imagine why, but.

"All right. If I need to." He doubts he would, but.

Well it's not quite dawn yet, but she thinks of these things. Because maybe it's important. Or maybe Alida is just strange. "I liked it. Having sex with you."

Maybe she is. Maybe they both are. Maybe it's important. "Yes? I liked it. With you."

"I didn't always like it. Before I died. After." So.

"But now? With me?" Flattering. Or something.

"I like it now. With you, yes. It's different. It means more."

"Because I love you?" Maybe.

"Yes, I think so." She was never in love with anyone else she'd slept with, Alida knows that much.

"That's good." Another kiss, lighter. "Very good."

"You are a good kisser. A good lover." Smiling.

Smiling back. "So are you. Really."

That makes her laugh, a little. "I believe you."

"I really did miss you."

"I missed you too. Is that different? Missing people?"

"Hm. Different from what?"

"What normally happens."

"I suppose. You're not normally "off someplace."

"That is true." Moving against him a bit. "I did not like it. At all. You are very warm."

"That isn't bad, is it?"

"No, I like it." Smiling a bit.

Smiling back. "Good. That's good."

"You are smiling a lot." Pause. "Also good."

"I suppose so, yes." Another smile.

"How long would you have waited to ask about this?"

He snorts. "Not eleven months." He shrugs. "I don't know."

"How long did it take to ask other girlfriends?" Mostly curious, now.

"It was generally more of a spur of the moment thing."

"Ah." Thinking and then. "You don't have to be so careful with me."

"No?" Thinking. "I suppose. But."

"But." Watching him. "What?"

"But, I probably will."

"Why?"

"Patterns? Because I'm a weird, weird man? I don't know."

"Are you afraid that I will change my mind? We are both weird, weird people."

"No, I'm not afraid of that. Do you think you will?"

"No. That would stupid."

"Good. You're not that."

Alida shakes her head. "A lot of things. Not that. I am afraid of hurting you, however."

Maybe a bit of a surprised look. Only a bit. "Really? Why?"

"When people are closer, more important, hurting them has greater consequences. And I am not always paying attention when I am not well."

"That's true. But I am. Always."

"That's true. And you've never hurt me. However...you paying attention doesn't mean I won't hurt you somehow."

"True. I'm not sure it's something to dwel over or worry over too much."

"I am not dwelling. Just admitting that I am afraid of that."

"All right. I'm not." Small smile.

Alida nods. "Are you happy?"

"Oh yes. Are you?"

Oh yes makes her laugh a little. "I am."

Oh, Alida. "Good. I'm glad."

"How often do you want to do this?"

"Oh, I'm good with anything." Really. "How about you?"

More laughing. And running her fingers over his skin. "If we did this every day you would get very tired."

Laughing a little. "Probably, yes."

"So pick a median that fits." Still touching. It's very interesting to her, especially since she normally goes through so much in order to avoid touching other people.

Touching her cheek again, thinking. "Three a week? Maybe? Twice?"

"Three. I like three." Smirking at the whole thing.

"All right then." Smirking right back at her.

"I will let you bring up the next serious thing." What, Alida?

"All right. When I think of one." Oh, Marc.

"Good." Smiling and pulling blankets over her head. "Not as though I know what I am doing."

"It's new for both of us." A little.

"You have had girlfriends in the last twenty years."

"Not like you, though." Which is true.

"Vampire, you mean?"

"Yes. I mean vampire. And like you in general."

"Like me in general how?"

"Someone who knows me."

She peers at Marc over the blanket's edge. "You have never had a girlfriend who was a friend first?"

"No. Not at all."

"Wouldn't that be safer, though? Or is it a different pattern?"

"I have twelve friends. It's a different pattern."

"All right."