This journal's starting to sound like a whine fest and a half. I blame it on sickness.

The last few days I've been feeling a lot more optimistic.

It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.

I feel like I just woke up from a blackout drinking session except I remember everything I did and the hangover is at least 2 days long.

The only way to make up for this is to stop being afraid to treat people respectfully.

I am really pretty certain now I should try being put on psychiatric drugs. There's a lot of bad things about me that could be fixed if I could just get myself under control.

Maybe I should be pumped about the next day instead?

I can't sleep 'cause I'm pretty pumped up about tomorrow.

Last night was so stupid. I'm so sick of excess and I remembered why I hate parties. I could have done something productive or hung out with Heather and Greg at home or something. We basically just sat and talked to each other only anyway. What a waste of a saturday night.

Haha this post makes me sound like a teenager.

"There's a parallel universe where you're already regretting that decision."

Basically the bank was like "You've been too responsible with your money for us to give you a loan."

You have to spend money to make money

but

You have to owe money to borrow money!

Maybe I should warn you now that there's no easy way out of your little affair.

I intend to state this in no mean or condescending way that there are no winners in this situation. Trust me. I'm sorry.