(no subject)
my mom told my cousin off on christmas about his whole situation. she goes "well whenever kim's unhappy to that extent in a relationship she leaves and takes care of herself." i could have retorted that and been like "well actually mom it's not that i'm unhappy but rather i'm too happy. see when i reach such a pinacle of bliss i become scared and i reserve myself. then i find all the flaws in the relationship and in my partner and then i become unhappy with myself for getting there and then we break up cause i start shit. and the best part is mom, it's mostly your fault." HA HA HA HA.
i hate it when she does that. picks at people's flaws, belittles them so much that she goes to the extent of humiliating them in public. she does it to me all the time. she just finds ways to make everyone see you for the piece of shit you have the potential to be. and then she acts sweet afterwards and plays victim if you fight it. it makes me ill cause i'm turning out to be just like her. i get angry and annoyed with people. i just see all the flaws and mishappens and i want to fix it. i want to alter it to fit my sick pschye. and if that doesn't happen i'm become furious with the whole world.
ever notice that? you find your parents within you. and you realize you're not you. you're them. you're the combination of your parents and you go god damn it. so for the past three months now i've been doing my damn'dest to rearrange all that. so far not bad. i still have a long way to go, but i'm not as judgmental. i ask questions when i want to understand someone instead of just judging them and tossing them aside if they don't suit my nature. i see the brighter side of situations and i'm defining myself. instead of just tossing words around to get people to like me and get me, i'm saying the words in my head and heart and actually meaning them instead of just saying i'm this but i have no clue as to how or why.
i can define myself as a person and that has to be one of the best feelings i've ever felt in my whole life. everyone clap for me.
even more important the dude on television who's a reporter for extra! was just screaming the name nicole and it made me giggle.
i hate it when she does that. picks at people's flaws, belittles them so much that she goes to the extent of humiliating them in public. she does it to me all the time. she just finds ways to make everyone see you for the piece of shit you have the potential to be. and then she acts sweet afterwards and plays victim if you fight it. it makes me ill cause i'm turning out to be just like her. i get angry and annoyed with people. i just see all the flaws and mishappens and i want to fix it. i want to alter it to fit my sick pschye. and if that doesn't happen i'm become furious with the whole world.
ever notice that? you find your parents within you. and you realize you're not you. you're them. you're the combination of your parents and you go god damn it. so for the past three months now i've been doing my damn'dest to rearrange all that. so far not bad. i still have a long way to go, but i'm not as judgmental. i ask questions when i want to understand someone instead of just judging them and tossing them aside if they don't suit my nature. i see the brighter side of situations and i'm defining myself. instead of just tossing words around to get people to like me and get me, i'm saying the words in my head and heart and actually meaning them instead of just saying i'm this but i have no clue as to how or why.
i can define myself as a person and that has to be one of the best feelings i've ever felt in my whole life. everyone clap for me.
even more important the dude on television who's a reporter for extra! was just screaming the name nicole and it made me giggle.