Comments | cold_fiction: Fever (1/1)

cold_queen_5 in cold_fiction

Fever (1/1)

Aug 04, 2010 12:12

Title: Fever
Genre: Television
Series: Haven
Characters: Audrey Parker, Nathan Wournos
Rating: R, mature content
Spoilers: 1x04- “Ball and Chain”
Summary: Audrey asked Nathan a question, and he feels compelled to answer.

( The sun doesn't like you, you always get burned - Stay in the shade and watch the world turn - Better find a new place to lay on the ground - Can't stay where you are or you're gonna be found. )

haven

Comments 15

paynesgrey August 4 2010, 17:31:13 UTC

Oh wow, that was fabulous. I just love the flow and language in this. Beautiful. And I'm in awe at how well you characterize Nathan. Such a perfect, spot-on portrayal.
Fantastic work chica!

cold_queen_5 August 5 2010, 01:53:42 UTC

Thanks! I have no idea where it came from. I was sitting at my laptop, working on stuff for contests, and I just had the sudden need to write. *shrugs* I love it when that happens.

gizzi1213 August 4 2010, 17:52:38 UTC

If I didn't already love this couple together I would after reading this. This is absolutely lovely. I especially love:

There was a taste there, light but cloying like vanilla with a spark of attitude not unlike cinnamon, that lingered in his mouth hours after he'd left her; it was something he couldn't classify as anything other than “Audrey”.

I think it so appropriate that Nathan would relate his feelings for Audrey with his sense of taste. As Dave Teagues said, "When you only have four senses, you make the most of them."

Lovely!

cold_queen_5 August 5 2010, 01:54:02 UTC

Thanks!

atatteredrose August 4 2010, 21:56:02 UTC

Once again you've given us a wonderfully rich story; full of brilliant insights into the characters, surprising illustrative details, and writing that proves fanfic isn't merely about the theatrical 'moving of bodies' but has a literary faction as well ( ... )

cold_queen_5 August 5 2010, 01:55:48 UTC

I get what you're saying about that last sentence. This is one of those endings that I didn't know it was done until I got to that moment/sentence and realized it. (I thought I'd go into more detail, give in to full-on smut, but apparently not, LOL.)

I'm glad you like it, though. It is a little rough, I think I wrote it out in less than an hour and that's unusual for me because I do like to reread and reread and reword and whatnot.

shealynn88 August 4 2010, 22:39:07 UTC

Ah, beautiful. You have a way with words, and I love how you deal with his limitations and heightened senses, not only examiningg it in a physical way, but also how it affects his thoughts and his seperation from the townspeople. This is lyrical and lovely and immediate and steamy and thought-provoking, all at the same time.

cold_queen_5 August 5 2010, 01:56:13 UTC

Thanks!

bluewillowtree August 5 2010, 02:08:55 UTC

This is lovely. You write beautifully.

There was a hollow just under her hip bone...

This whole paragraph is just gorgeous.

cold_queen_5 August 5 2010, 12:42:54 UTC

Thanks! That's my favorite part of this piece, too.