004 ✚ voice, plus filters

[coldbrokenlight]

[the feed starts with a slight clearing of his throat.]

To those who were-- worried --about me last week. Yukio replaced my stitches and I'm fine now.

[uhhh.

there was a thanks here, but it got cut--]

Thanks.

[--off. or not.]

Comments

[action] 1/3 I TL;DR'd hnnnghhhh...

[fallforthesky]

[She'd meant it, you know. When she said she'd be waiting for that explanation. She just hadn't thought it would happen like this; hearing things like 'surgical implants' and 'dead' and 'you've been gone for four years' and 'they brought you back?' mentioned over feeds that include her, but aren't entirely meant to.

You all really are awful at filtering feeds that ought to be privated.

Somewhere between Allen locking his feed and Alma starting his, Lenalee finds herself on her feet, clutching the PDA in both hands as if she could silence the awful if she only clenched it tight enough. If her heart would beat loud enough that it'd drown everything out.

To be fair, it's not a conscious decision that leads her to 'llujah's floor. It's just something she does, like going to search for Allen in the middle of the night because she had a bad dream and a bad feeling. It doesn't even really occur to her that she's seeking him out until she comes to herself standing in front of a door that says "Kanda Yuu" and sweating ice

[action] 2/3 and now I fail at html...

[fallforthesky]

[And a few minutes later, in Alma's feed- one of the few that hasn't yet been locked from her prying- motivation to speak up comes across so sharply that she goes a little numb.

"So... they brought you back.. again."

(There's those words again- why do they keep coming up-)

"They.. tried to seal up my memories again, but it didn't work."

...

'Again', again.

She can't breathe.]

[text; private] 3/3

[fallforthesky]

[New text message

To: Yuu Kanda

(What is she doing? All she has to do is reach out and turn the knob-

God, no.)

Her fingers slips over the keys so badly that correcting her errors frustrates her to near-tears.]

what do you mean 'brought you bakc'? again? your memories? kanda

[Once the "Message Sent" notification appears onscreen, she presses her hand flat to the door. Maybe it'll stop shaking. It feels like she's holding her breath (has been holding it until she's lightheaded), but she isn't. She really isn't.]

[reaction] 1/2

[coldbrokenlight]

[he doesn't notice until maybe too late, the echo of his voice from the other side of the door. he's at the other side of the room, and the PDAs aren't that loud to begin with. coupled with lingering headaches and other distractions, he just barely catches the faint exhalation.

by the time he's gotten to his feet, the text message has already arrived. yes.

this is, indeed, the hardest part. because he has to explain it all to her, to Lenalee, for the second time. it's almost like deja vu, and if not for that text message, he might have gone over to the door to let her in. still is tempted to do so. his door has always been open to her, for whatever reason.

(..ones that didn't include frills and dresses and ribbons, in any case.)]

[accion]

[coldbrokenlight]

[the PDA is left (forgotten?) on the bed as he moves for the door, fingertips against the knob, his other hand touching the wood. silent.

breathing, is what he hears. shallow, steady, forcibly so.

softly:] ..Lenalee?

[all the actionnn]

[fallforthesky]

[Not so steady, once he says her name. For one heartstopping, stupid moment, she feels the overwhelmingly powerful urge to turn tail and run back to her room- or hell, why stop there? Why not just keep running, until her lungs burn and her legs ache and she has something else to focus on rather than... this. She could, and the knowledge that she could is almost enough to convince her to do it.

But then logic catches up with emotion and she drags in a deep breath, curling her fingers into her palm and pressing hard on the door. Nope. Still shaking.]

I don't want to know. [God knows those are some the most hypocritical and wretchedly honest words she's ever spoken.]

But you have to tell me.

[TODOS LOS ACCIONES okay sobs]

[coldbrokenlight]

[he's still so unsure and hesitant about sharing anything, and it's only the fact that he's been talking without letting his face be seen that's calmed his nerves mostly. but with Lenalee right in front of him now, it's just her every breath and knowing that she's as

as

uncertain about this

that he can do this.

he has to, now.]

I don't want anyone to. [less hypocritical than hers, reluctant, it could be called fear that lingers only for a moment. it doesn't show up often, but he's good at hiding it when it does.

he takes his hand from the doorknob and clenches it at his side.]

Do you.. [do you want to come in?] ..Do you know what the Second Exorcist Project is?

[please say yes, please say that other version of him mentioned something about it so he doesn't have to do this all over again completely.]

[TOTO IN ACTION]

[fallforthesky]

[She almost asks if he means the Third Exorcist Project. Almost. But of course... for there to have been a Third, there had to have been a Second. And that scares her more than anything she's heard so far.

Because for Kanda to be mentioning it now means it applies, somehow. To this. Whatever this is.

She honest-to-God tries, wracking her brain for some mention of it, some words printed on a piece of paper in her brother's endless stacks, something, anything; just please let it be something stupid and simple and of course that won't be the case. What in their lives has ever been simple? Hah.

Kanda never mentioned it. Only the aftermath. Kept everything he could in the dark, because nobody had anticipated that someone like 'llujah would come along and ripple the water.

She swallows thickly- or tries to. The lump in her throat is too tight. Her nails bite into the wood beneath them.] I... no. No, I don't.

[TOTO IN.. KANSAS...]

[coldbrokenlight]

[he was really hoping that double of his might've mentioned something about it... but obviously, sensitive topic as it is, it's not surprising he hasn't.

now the question is, how will he manage it? it was simple enough for Allen to witness it through his memories.

somehow.]

They said us it was a project to create Exorcists. The Synthetic Disciple project. [artificial humans who can't ever die. weapons that will never rust.] ..But that was a lie.

All they really did was take Exorcists that couldn't fight anymore and put them in artificial bodies that can regenerate themselves.

[swallows here. maybe she can see where he's going with this.]

..I was one of those Exorcists.