[Fic] Learning (EXO)

[coley_merrin]

Title: Learning
Pairings: Kai/Kyungsoo, Everyone+Sehun, Kris/Chanyeol, Kris/Baekhyun, Kris/Yixing (x2)
Rating: PG-13
Genres: fluff, angst
Warnings: violence

Summary: Six prompts.



***

Prompt: Kyungsoo having a bit of a breakdown over the fact that he is gay but can't freely /be himself/.

***

There were the fans. There was the money. Concerts, long plane rides, exhaustion, excitement. Kyungsoo had never really expected to be able to do what he wanted to anyway. Or rather, not what - but to be who he was. When his friends had made fun of him for talking about an older boy in the school so much, he'd had the eye-opening realization that they weren't all alike. His friends spoke of peeking up the skirts of the girls, or which one had the biggest chest. He saw and looked and joked, and then never spoke of a boy again. The teasing hadn't been mean, not yet, but it had been a check mark in his life. Where he had begun to hide.

Maybe if he'd studied abroad he could've figured things out, been himself.

Not so much in a boy band with thousands of screaming girls, where he had to talk about his ideal type. A side of truth with a twist of lie.

When he'd been a trainee, he'd gone home thinking of the bodies he'd seen, the personalities he was attracted to. He wondered if it'd be weird jerking off to that, and looking them in the eye the next day and he found after a while it wasn't. He got used to it. The shame faded. The entitlement rose. He could do anything in private, just as long as no one knew. That was for him. Maybe he'd give up a lot of stuff to do the things he wanted, but not that. He loved the music so much. One day… One day…

Sometimes he felt like he was so transparent sitting around in a room of men. The conversation occasionally wended to girlfriends and breasts and bemoaning the lack of either. A dozen guys all wanting something, yeah, it was always going to come up. None of them were particularly body conscious. They showered together for time, gave up all kinds of privacy. They'd used the bathroom when someone was brushing their teeth, while someone was showering, all at the same time. It was so normal, even if they got a curled lip or a smack if the water went cold for a second.

Even if it was difficult he loved living with them.

Even if they saw so many things that they weren't supposed to.

Like when he was contemplating his future.

He was the one who was used to taking care of them, cleaning up, making food, scolding. When Jongin began to follow him around like a baby duck who'd imprinted on him, he wondered why. Kyungsoo's goal in life was to find his bed and curl in it, and think until he couldn't think any more, or until he thought himself into a better place. There had to be home somewhere, sometime.

But when he made for his bed, Jongin reached out.

"Stay with me for a minute?"

Like they did sometimes, Jongin making space in his bed for Kyungsoo. They would listen to each other, fall asleep that way. Though he wanted to be alone, Jongin asked so infrequently he couldn't leave.

"What's wrong?" Jongin asked, when he gripped Kyungsoo so that he couldn't easily get away.

Kyungsoo scoffed low in his throat, but Jongin wasn't letting go. He could've joked. He could've feigned anxiety over some upcoming concert, hoping his voice didn't crack. Sometimes the sadness and worry and unfairness of it all overwhelmed him, even in the middle of the celebrations. What happiness for himself outside of that he would have, he didn't know.

So Kyungsoo spoke quietly. "What would you think if one of us was attracted to guys?"

"Oh. You are?" Jongin asked, voice just as soft. "Is that all?"

"Is that all!" Kyungsoo blurted, unsure of what he was supposed to be feeling. Hurt. Relief. Frustration. Maybe all three. It certainly wasn't anything he skipped around thinking about thinking how small a thing it was. Was that all.

And he was trying to figure out how to put that into words, when Kai leaned into him. And then all his air and his brain cells and everything flew up into the air and exploded. Kyungsoo had been kissed before, by girlfriends past. Good kisses even. But none like that soft press of lips that he pushed away from, sputtering.

"Jongin!"

"You did mean you, right?" Jongin asked, patting Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"Yes, but. But. I didn't mean that. That's not what I wanted. I didn't. Jongin!"

"Sorry," Jongin said, laughing a little. Not at him, Kyungsoo could tell. Well. Mostly not at him. "Sorry. I mean, I could've told you I like both guys and girls, but that was easier. It's not like you're the only one."

Kyungsoo knew he wasn't the only one. That didn't make it easier though. That didn't make it fair. They had a hard enough time dating as idols when they were dating girls, but to be caught dating a guy would be a scandal that- He'd have to move his parents out of the country. He'd have to change his name. No, it wouldn't be that dire. It was going to happen eventually, and maybe that'd be a good thing. Maybe it'd start a difference. He really wasn't angling for it to be him.

And then his brain caught up.

"You like guys, too?"

Jongin pulled him in, so they were lying face to face on the pillows. No more kisses forthcoming, just relaxing like they had before. "One time I was with a friend and his girlfriend. He let me…You know. While I was in her, he let me suck on him a little."

"And it was good?"

"Yeah. You mean you've never…?"

Kyungsoo shook his head, not looking at Jongin. He wasn't sure he'd want to be with a girl in the process, but he still envied Jongin.

"What happened with your friend?" he asked.

"She kept asking him when I could come join them again, so he stopped talking to me."

"I'm sorry."

Jongin shrugged. "Probably for the best. You'll get your chance." And when Kyungsoo side-eyed him, he laughed. "Not like that."

"No thank you," Kyungsoo agreed.

And it was with a simple declaration that Kyungsoo's heart swelled. "I'd date you. The kiss wasn't just to tease."

"I know," Kyungsoo told him. That was what made it sweeter, and also a bit sad. It wasn't a good idea, and yet they hadn't reached the end of their possibilities.

He kissed Jongin's forehead, pulled the blanket up around them. And into dreams, he went smiling.

***

Prompt: everyone loves sehun

***

Sehun's Day, they called it. His day to be pampered. His day to be shown that they loved him. His day to be woken up by a body squeezing the air from him and then squeezing him from the side with loving rumbles. Joonmyun.

"You are mine," Joonmyun said, ultra cheese in his voice as he rocked Sehun back and forth. "Our baby. I'll never let you go."

Sehun stared at his tiny closet and didn't know whether he should laugh or be embarrassed. Somewhere between the two. So he stuck out his lip and got his cuddles, as only his leader could give. Starting the day right.

And even more right, with food. Kyungsoo had quizzed him the night before what he wanted to eat, and he knew when Joonmyun had gone in to wake him up, so food was already almost ready when he stumbled out. There was one breakfast for him, and one breakfast for everyone else, and he was smug as Joonmyun and Kyungsoo both were putting dishes in front of him like he was some kind of king. But then they also watched for his reaction, and he grinned at them. His stomach liked it all.

Kris stole him from the apartment after that, somehow evading fans on their way to get bubble tea.

"They're looking at me a little off," Sehun said. "I don't know what's going to happen next."

"Just enjoy it," Kris told him, getting a drink that was vibrantly green, to Sehun's lightly beige.

"I am… But really, when this happens for everyone else? Joonmyun isn't going to wake you up with hugs, is he?"

Kris just laughed at him and ruffled his hair and walked all over with him.

As soon as they were back it was Zitao and Jongin's turn. They turned rather wolfish grins on him as Jongin held out a game controller. First, racing. Jongin flattened both of them as Zitao protested.

They both buried Jongin under pillows for that, but Zitao was better at the fighting games which didn't even seem fair.

"You guys are beating me. Isn't this supposed to be my day?"

"Just giving you some humility," Jongin told him, and Sehun stuck his tongue out at him. He'd show him mature.

They ended up spilling a bowl of chips, and making a general area of chaos by the time Chanyeol came to claim him.

"Remember that mix CD you gave me?" Chanyeol asked, his voice and face both incredibly serious as they sat down in Chanyeol's room.

"Yeah?"

Though it'd been a month ago, and he didn't really remember that far.

"I really liked it. And really appreciated it. But. Well. See?"

Chanyeol handed him the same CD. Only that time, it had a crack running from one edge to the center. A bandaid was stuck across the crack with hearts and "SORRY" written across it.

"I have the songs on my computer," Sehun said, amused. It wasn't like he'd broken something irreplaceable.

"I know!" Chanyeol said, suddenly twice as cheerful. "But I wanted to show you it meant something to me. And! I made a mix for you, too!"

So Chanyeol gave him another CD, and a grin, and sent him to Jongdae and Yixing. Sehun wondered how it would be to compose, as they sang together. It wan't even practice, just holing up singing at a screen and laughing at overdramatic music videos. It was something he missed doing with his friends, just going out and singing for fun. He and Yixing broke out into some interpretive dance as Jongdae laughed at them, and they took a picture together with strange lights on their faces so Jongdae ended up looking like some kind of demon, and Yixing and angel. As for him, he just looked smug. Not like he was counting hugs or anything, but he was racking up quite a few. So Jongdae and Yixing had been-

Passing him off to Minseok for dinner on the way back out. They had barbecue, beef even, and his stomach growled as Minseok cooked the meat for both of them.

"How did you keep the others from coming along?"

"I told them I was going to get you a facial," Minseok said blandly. "Jongdae tried to weasel his way into getting invited, but Jongin was going to meet him and Yixing anyway.

Sehun was fine with it just being them. It as fun to eat with everyone but eating with just Minseok meant more food for both of them. Not that he was ready at all, he thought, with one hand holding lettuce and the other waiting to shovel meat into it.

They parted with a squeeze, Sehun squirming away as Minseok tried to wipe off his mouth. And that left him to Lu Han.

"Minseok fed you. Kris took you for bubble tea," Lu Han said, staring at him. "I guess I'll buy you something."

He ducked because he wasn't laughing at Lu Han, really. But Lu Han kept his arm around him as they poked through some shops, settling in a book store. Sehun pointed out some books for kids as suggestions for Lu Han, nearly getting hit with a knee. He settled on a novel. Both because it was popular, and because it was on sale - which was satisfying to both of them.

"Did you have a good day?" Lu Han asked, as they were walking back to the apartment.

There wasn't any real question about it. He'd gotten to sing, and eat, and play. Shopping, hugs, music. Love.

"Yes. But who knows how the rest of the night goes," he said, and Lu Han elbowed him.

He peeked in the door of their apartment carefully, wondering if people were going to come jumping out of closets. Everything was quiet, something that made him even more wary. Sehun knew Lu Han was clued in because Lu Han kept poking him along, until Sehun saw the surprise.

"Let's watch a movie!" Baekhyun called, patting the couch seat beside him. It was the only empty seat that he could see, reserved for him, because all the others were in other seats or sprawled on the floor. He'd barely gotten sat down when Lu Han handed him a drink, sitting on the floor in front of him and using his legs as a back rest.

It was his favorite movie, and he nearly laughed as the credits started. Someone ruffled his hair from behind, and he dodged Zitao's poke to his ear. He leaned into Baekhyun, shushing everyone, and reveling in his day.

***

Prompt: Kris/Chanyeol - Chanyeol is afraid of storm and was nowhere to be found, but then Yifan found him hiding underneath his blanket.

***

When Chanyeol went missing, it was obvious something was up. He wasn't in his bed, or the bathroom, or the kitchen. He wasn't picking out tunes on one of the instruments, or chortling in front of the game being played. No one had seen him, and there wasn't any concern. Yifan had just been looking for him.

Yifan stopped in the doorway of his bedroom. He'd been going for his computer, not even looking for Chanyeol there, but he was caught on the decidedly odd lines his bed spread was taking. He kicked the door shut behind him. The three steps he had to take to get there, he wondered if he was imagining things, but then the lump moved.

"Chanyeol?" he ventured.

"Yes," Chanyeol said, the sound muffled. "Turn out the light."

Odd. All of it was odd. He lit the way back to his bed with his mp3 player, and flipped back the covers. Chanyeol was there, dressed, so nothing was off in that way. His eyes were partly closed like even the dim light was too bright.

"What's up?"

Chanyeol motioned, grabbed at him, all but snatched him into the bed and under the covers. And the whole bed jerked as thunder sounded from outside.

Chanyeol hissed.

And Yifan finally got it.

"You're scared of the storm?"

Chanyeol mumbled something until Yifan poked him. "Yeah."

Chanyeol was hiding in his bed because he was scared of a storm. He was okay with that, or rather, he didn't really mind.

"Have you always been afraid of them?"

It was a gentle touch, his hand on Chanyeol's arm. Just something to connect them, to put Chanyeol at ease.

"I don't actually remember when I started being scared of storms," Chanyeol said, his words almost muffled a bit by his arm. "Maybe it was something that happened before I remember, because my mom said I used to be scared a lot. I used to run to their bed and want to say, though I would always wake up in my own bed. Sometimes I'd run to my sister when I got a little older, because my dad would tease me a little and she'd just pat my head."

"It's nice she comforted you."

"Yeah. Once I got into middle school, though, I started toughing it out on my own. I had my headphones, and I'd hide under my bed. Not even in it, but under it. I had this little nest set up just in case. People probably think it's not very manly-"

"Fears are fears," Yifan interrupted him. "Man or woman, or whatever they are. They're not choices. I'm sure if you could choose not to be afraid you would."

"Oh yeah."

"If you're scared, and I'm here, you're always welcome. Everyone'd probably think so. Everyone has something."

Chanyeol shifted closer. "What's your fear then?"

If there was hesitation, it wasn't because he was afraid of revealing it, but more because it sounded so large out loud, like he was shouting. "Not being enough. For anyone. Family. Work. Friends. Anything."

"But you're-!"

"I know," Yifan soothed him. He didn't need the self-esteem pep-talk, though he knew it was well intentioned. He knew, in the way Chanyeol reached for him. "I know. Work hard. Do your best. Try again. You don't have to worry about me."

"If you need to talk ever," Chanyeol ventured, voice soft and serious.

"I can't help but stumble over you." But that was as good a time as any for a change in topic. A distraction, he thought, as he thumbed through his music. "Here. This is a new song I bought. I was going to share it with you tomorrow, but since you're here…"

Chanyeol took the ear buds from him, tucking them in and nodding so that Yifan would push play. Yifan knew the song had a strong beat, lyrics that Chanyeol might not be able to understand but understanding was less important than feeling the music itself. That, and the sound of it would carry over the storm, at least unless the room shook again. In the light from the cell phone, he could make out Chanyeol's shadowed features, his closed eyes and lips moving faintly to the sounds he was hearing. That and his head bobbing seesawing the blanket back and forth over Yifan's head.

Yifan could see when it had stopped, Chanyeol's eyes opening, dancing even in the low light.

"I really liked when-"

The room lit, and the thunder shook them a moment later making Chanyeol cringe and laugh nervously. Yifan wasn't going to ridicule him, if that was what he was worried about.

"Pick one favorite song. Only one, and why," Yifan told him.

He put his hand on Chanyeol's upper arm, squeezing it as Chanyeol first thought and then began to talk. The song that had really gotten him excited about music, the one that had made him dream, and dance, and sing until his parents were sick of it. They both had different songs, unique to them, that had shaped them, but their taste in music ran similar. He got a few chuckles out of Chanyeol, between the inhales and the tenseness. With an earbud for each of them, they listened to other songs, as the the time between rumbles of thunder grew further apart.

"You find Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo asked, rapping on the door, on his way to bed presumably.

"Yeah, he's fine," Yifan called. "Goodnight."

And he was.

"I can probably go back to my bed now," Chanyeol said, his voice hinting of sheepishness.

"You can stay. We just have to get out from under here or I'll smother."

They broke out from under the comforter, toward the pillow, elbowing at each other. They detoured for brushing their teeth, and Yifan all but pushed Chanyeol into the room ahead of him.

"Sure it's okay?"

"In case the storm comes back," Yifan said, and slept with Chanyeol's forehead against the back of his neck.

***

Prompt: Kris/Baekhyun - new relationship

***

It had never been Baekhyun's goal in life to be friends with or date guys way taller than him. He didn't think there were many men who enjoyed being outclassed when it came to any number of things, but stature was kind of a point of pride. Something he didn't look for in a relationship was being protected, or being made to feel like he was some guy's little companion.

Of course, that meant that he had somehow become best friends with the tallest guy in the school, and people had every joke under the sun for the difference in their heights, like Chanyeol would just pick him up one day and actually put him in his pocket.

He was not Thumbelina.

Chanyeol was not the Jolly Green Giant.

And no, they did not dress up in costume that way once because Chanyeol had said it would make people stop joking about it. It hadn't really worked, because the pictures went around like the next fad jewelry. So basically, leaving high school had been the best thing because it got him away from people who saw him as Chanyeol's accessory, and into the world of, well. More appropriately sized people.

So Baekhyun had all of college to feel like he was just one of a large group of students. He made some friends, attended classes, made longsuffering eyes at his parents when they tried to give him life advice. He'd been angling at internships almost since he started college, taking journalism classes and honing his writing skills. He dreamed out his windows, and kept in touch with Chanyeol with calls a couple of times a week, and online updates. He missed having Chanyeol to hang out with, right up to the point when he didn't have to miss it any more - when he'd greeted Chanyeol in the airport and had been engulfed in a hug. Chanyeol was there to stay, and their lives were just beginning, and all of that.

He was stressed a lot, because there was so much to learn. He got the lowest rung of the lowest ladder spot of his goal magazine, and nearly wept bloody tears. He knew it would be hard, and he knew he had a lot to do and learn before he started climbing, but even if his hair fell out, he was doing something he loved.

Baekhyun wondered if there was something magnetic in the air above his head. Chanyeol had always been a bit spazzy. He just didn't expect that within two months that Chanyeol would collect not one but two men almost as tall, and taller, than he was. Maybe it was some gravity thing. They looked someone in the eye, and thought, ah, you are tall like me. It wasn't his goal to be surrounded by guys who made him feel short when he wasn't.

He didn't expect to date someone like that.

Life sent him all kinds of surprises.

***

"This is Kris. He's from Canada."

Baekhyun hadn't stood there for several moments staring at Kris, thinking that he looked like someone had carved his face out of marble. Or thinking that he had such a pretty mouth. Mostly, he'd been thinking that he was between two buffers of people quite taller than he was. Occasionally he'd stood on a stool to be as tall as Chanyeol when they'd still been growing. He liked to think he got more secure in himself over the years. He was the same Baekhyun, lightening the mood in his office when everyone looked as though the upper offices were going to fall on their heads.

"I want to set you two up," Chanyeol told him after Kris had left.

Baekhyun nearly choked on a bean sprout. "What?"

"He likes guys. You like guys."

"We both breathe air. We're both human. Explain."

Chanyeol laughed, totally at ease and his eyes crinkling up and Baekhyun wanted to kick him because he didn't get to drop bombshells like that and then not give good reasons. Chanyeol might have a lot of strange ideas, but some he had were really kind of brilliant. And usually Chanyeol was able to tell him why he'd leapt the gap.

"Chanyeol?"

"He said you had a nice smile? And you cannot tell him that until you've been dating for at least two years, or he will actually bury me. But that's something you can't hold back from telling your best friend."

Baekhyun was stumped, because his brain was making several logical flying leaps without having a chance to stop and really consider the ramifications of them. Chanyeol at first glance was helping out a buddy, in this case Kris, who maybe had some kind of interest. And for most people, that might've been where things stopped. But in high school, Chanyeol had subtly checked out the guys Baekhyun was interested in, and made himself out to be Baekhyun's guardian of all relationships because that was what buddies did, apparently. Chanyeol took no pause in telling Baekhyun who he thought was a jerk. Maybe he hadn't always taken Chanyeol's advice, which had ended up in a miffed though more or less supportive Chanyeol, but it had taught Baekhyun a few things about himself and about Chanyeol's judgement of people. Mostly, that Chanyeol had it right most of the time.

So it didn't feel like Chanyeol was trying to set up Kris, and more like he was offering him to Baekhyun. Chanyeol wasn't exactly saying "Hey! A guy I approve of likes you! Go kiss him!" but it was pretty much written over Chanyeol's face.

"You're not dating, and I know the kind of guy you go for," Chanyeol said. "Unless your taste has changed."

Chanyeol said that as though he was begging Baekhyun to tell him it wasn't so.

"He's taller than you," Baekhyun said, finally, because he didn't know what to say. Did he even have clothes to wear on a date?

"So, it'll be comfortable! It'll be like dating me! Only...without me."

They both cracked up at that, even the thought of it.

"I've seen him sweaty after basketball games," Chanyeol said, just before they split up to head home.

"So you're selling him to me like a piece of meat?"

Chanyeol had just whistled and walked away.

***

Dating the best friend of a friend was a bit like walking on a tightrope over a canyon, Kris thought. On one hand, there was the value of the friendship that was already in play, and then the hope for the new relationship that was starting. If things with the best friend soured, hope for the friendship sort of dimmed, depending on how things ended, or why. And friends were a precious commodity, especially in a country he was still becoming familiar with. The language he got. The city, he was still catching on to. Chanyeol was cheerleader and tour guide, but the one thing he hadn't expected Chanyeol to be? Matchmaker.

It had been an offhand comment about Baekhyun's smile. For a moment Kris had been fooled, because Baekhyun had been playing solemn to Chanyeol's jokes. The the laugh had come out, elbowing at each other.

The last thing Kris had expected was for Chanyeol to look up at him.

"So you think Baekhyun's cute?"

There had been something a little frightening in Chanyeol's smile. But he'd drawn a line, a hard line, at Chanyeol setting them up. If they went out, Kris was going to ask for it himself. Sure, he had the blessing of Baekhyun's best friend and insider information that Baekhyun might be interested, but it was still something he wanted to do.

"You want to ask him out right now?" Chanyeol asked, hair a mess from the water he'd dumped on himself after a game of one on one.

Kris actually looked around, as though Baekhyun had secreted himself into the gym to watch.

"Now?"

Chanyeol had just smiled and handed him his cell phone - already dialing Baekhyun's number.

"If you're calling me to tell me you forgot your towel..." Baekhyun said the moment he answered, a threat in his voice.

"Hi. This is Kris. And I have my towel. So does Chanyeol."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment, and a shuffle.

"Hello," Baekhyun said smoothy. "This is Baekhyun. Ahhh. Hi?"

Kris laughed, dropping his head and turning halfway away from Chanyeol - who protested and kept moving to he could see Kris's face.

"Hey. I was wondering if you were free for dinner. Tomorrow maybe? Any night you're free."

Two thumbs up from Chanyeol, and then waiting on what Baekhyun would say.

"Tomorrow's great. What time? Oh. Tell Chanyeol to give you my number."

A time decided, Kris was trying not to shove Chanyeol right over. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Chanyeol stared at him as Kris hung up the phone. Kris stared back. And then Kris learned it was difficult to high five with a phone in his hand.

***

It was probably bad form to start off a date with a kiss. But Kris couldn't have said because the urge was only in his mind when Baekhyun looked up from his seat and smiled. Sliding into the booth seat with Baekhyun, pinning him to the wall and kissing him senseless would have made a definite statement. But Kris was already off balance because Baekhyun had made it there before him, and then he got to see the smile from above and then from across the table.

"You're not late, I'm just early, don't worry," Baekhyun said.

"That's good. Nice to see you."

"You too. So, breathing is good, right?"

Kris nearly bobbled his menu as Baekhyun's hand reached halfway across the table. Long-fingered, splayed out in a way that had him having to turn his thoughts to safety, he put his hand over Baekhyun's. They knew each other. Even if it was through Chanyeol, they knew each other. And Baekhyun looked so pleased with himself, that Kris felt part of the tension slip.

Which he thought had been Baekhyun's intention exactly.

***

After a momentary standoff over the bill - Kris had won - they walked down the street together. It had been fun, by far the easiest first date that Kris had ever been on. The table had seemed both too wide, and too shallow as he'd watched Baekhyun's eyes flirting with him, and watching him eat as well. They'd had a surprising amount to talk about, even outside of their shared friend. It hadn't been a time to talk about Chanyeol, but to learn about each other. Maybe Chanyeol had given him a shove, but it was up to him to carry it through. He wasn't going to be satisfied unless he asked Baekhyun for a second date before they parted.

"Did Chanyeol give you a pep talk?" Baekhyun asked, as they faced each other on the side street back toward the subway.

Kris shot him a look. "Should I tell you if he did?"

Baekhyun laughed. "No, probably not. You realize he's going to think he thought this up on his own."

"I'm willing to let him if you are," Kris said, and pressed his fingers against Baekhyun's collar, careful not to tickle. That had been Chanyeol's biggest advice: if he didn't want to get his nose broken by an accidental headbutt, avoid the neck.

"If you can stand hearing about it," Baekhyun laughed. "Against the wall."

Kris's eyebrows rose at that, but he complied, legs moving wider as Baekhyun took little kicks at his feet. But when they were almost nose to nose, Kris realized what Baekhyun had been after.

He'd only been waiting the whole date.

There was nothing coy about it, the press of Baekhyun's lips, his hands on Kris's sides. How many kisses he could endure was the question, before he was tempted to pull Baekhyun against him.

"Sorry," Baekhyun said, his face still close. "Wanted to make us a bit more even the first time."

"Should I stoop?"

Baekhyun laughed, biting his bottom lip and drawing Kris's attention. "No. I didn't think I'd want to date a tall guy, but…I was wrong. I thought you had the prettiest mouth."

"It was your smile," Kris began, and when Baekhyun swallowed a laugh, Kris considered him. "Chanyeol told you."

"I was supposed to wait two years to let you know that. I'll help you think of way to get him back."

Kris shook his head because he didn't need that. He did, however, need another kiss. Two years of them, at least.

***

Prompt: Kris/Yixing - Supernatural AU

***

When Yixing was woken out of a dead sleep, blearily staring at Lu Han's name on the screen before he answered, he knew it could be for nothing good. And when Lu Han didn't even wait for him to say anything, that only made him sit up.

"Do you know Kris. Canada-"

"I do," Yixing said, shoving back his hair, and groping for the bedside light. "I worked with him on the golem in Xi'an. Why?"

"What was your impression of him?"

Yixing hummed. "Tall? Good Mandarin but some stumbles. Competent with his weapons."

"Well, he's not answering his phone. He went in alone, demons, and you're the closest hunter to him."

"Alone."

There was a chuckle. "Yeah. Sounds like someone else we know. Go check, would you? Texting coordinates now."

***

It was a train ride away, and Yixing had made the next train going out, with nothing but a shoulder bag and a bottle of water. It gave him an hour to research what had been happening. One way was to trace Kris's steps, but the quickest way was to track his cell phone. Maybe he didn't know how, but Lu Han did. And when he got to the empty warehouse, of course it was, he was looking for all entrances. He had on his belt, his holy water. He was ready for anything that came at him.

Even almost getting his head take off. Yixing ducked, rolled, kicking out and knocking the demon into the wall. Holy water had it screaming. He didn't have a shot gun. All he had was lighter fluid. Matches.

Fire forced the demon out of its host. The body that was left when Yixing was done was unrecognizable.

What he wanted was to find Kris alive - and he did.

Bloodied, chained, face bruised and swollen in places, but alive. Kris's face went from mildly alarmed, to wary. Yeah, he'd seen a good number of hunters turned, too. But Kris only jerked as Yixing splashed holy water on his face. Good.

"Yixing?"

"You didn't check in," Yixing said, hefting the bolt cutters he'd brought with him just in case.

"I never check in."

The chuckle was dark. "Yes, well. This time you didn't check in and the routine follow-up showed your cell phone was still pinging towers here, but people were still dying. This wouldn't happen if you brought backup."

"I work alone."

"This many deaths, you had no idea what you were going to find. Unless you're trying for suicide by monster. How many were there?" Yixing asked.

Kris leaned on him heavily. "Just that one. It was just taking its time, picking at me."

"How'd it get you?"

Yixing didn't find it odd when Kris didn't answer. There was pride there, even through the pain. He left Kris in a hotel room, cleaned up and asleep, to make sure everything was in order. The body taken care of, Lu Han contacted, all of it.

***

And it still took two weeks of refusing to leave Kris's side, even going so far as keeping his bag packed in case Kris just stood to go as he'd had the first couple of days. Company, it seemed, was not welcomed. But they cleaned up messes as they went. Burning bones. Tracking a new vampire.

"You're too unfocused to be a hunter," Kris told him one day, sitting in a tiny restaurant in the corner closest to the back entrance.

"And yet still," Yixing said, "it works for me."

The people who thought he didn't pay attention, some of them had it right. But there was a difference. When the situation got bad, he was fully in the moment. He had no more special powers than the next hunter, but he'd honed them. He'd never forgotten the face of the man who'd trained him, when Yixing had dodged a bullet - literally. His eyes had been unfocused, sure, but he'd heard the shot.

Kris's hand slammed down on the table, getting both Yixing's attention and the attention of several people around them.

"Then you shouldn't be out here," Kris said, voice quiet so only Yixing could hear. "I lost a partner to a crossroads demon. I swore if anyone was going to die after that, it'd be me."

"You think he'd want that? Putting yourself in danger? We're helping people. You don't get to do that if you're dead."

Kris shook his head. "You don't get to tell me what he'd want."

"Like it or not, you have a partner for a while," Yixing told him, putting down his napkin. "If you can't bring yourself to watch my back, let me know so I can call in someone else."

The glass Kris was holding made a clanking sound as it was put back onto the table. "Until we're done here."

Of course, then he walked right out of the door, leaving Yixing to pick up the tab. He was cutting Kris some slack because of the abuse he'd suffered, but somehow he didn't think Kris's demeanor improved when he wasn't in pain.

***

Healing was a slow process. They were not exactly the minions of death, but they saw plenty of it. In some ways it was a salve, and some of it drew the gouges deeper. The people they couldn't save, sometimes that had to be pushed back. What was important was the end result, cities, towns, that were safe. Again, the salve. The people they lost that were close to them, sometimes they held those closer.

"You act like you've never lost anyone. LIke you haven't seen people die."

"We see more blood and guts than your average medical examiner," Yixing scoffed. "I've seen a hunter beheaded by a vampire. There was a wendigo once. That was grisly. That one almost got me accidentally. I've got scars on my back, a demon throwing me through a plate glass window. Smoked him. We all lose people. We lose a lot of people. Don't you dare think you're the only one. My mentor died, and I wasn't even there to help him. Like you, he was stupid and went alone."

"I was with my partner, and he died anyway."

"You get the demon?"

Kris's hand flexed. "Yeah. He wasn't long for this world."

"It make you feel better?"

Yixing watched as Kris snorted, his head rocking back and forth. "No. Not really. Just angry that I didn't make it happen sooner. He was green. Maybe too green."

"Sometimes it doesn't matter."

"Sometimes it's just our time? Is that what you're going to say?"

"No," Yixing said. "Just that we can't change anything in the past. I can't promise to keep you safe, but I can promise to do my best."

"I'm not teaching anyone ever again."

"Good. You don't have to teach me. I've been a hunter just as long as you-" And Yixing held up a hand, stopping Kris before he could speak. "I'm serious. I think every hunter has something to learn from other hunters, and that two heads being better than one sometimes is actually true."

"Like you said, sometimes. Why this sudden interest in my wellbeing?"

"I saved your life. I'm taking an interest."

"I was working my way free."

"And if I hadn't killed the demon who was walking back toward you and he killed you first?"

No, Yixing couldn't know that for sure, but he could imagine. Kris had already been hurt, and whichever demon had done so had undoubtedly enjoyed it. But even the slowest demon had to have been wary of another hunter, and to know that there would either be someone arriving to find Kris, or that Kris would be able to free himself. Though, some demons were just that delusional about their own power. Maybe the demon Yixing had killed had only been going to give Kris another beating. All Yixing knew was that he was glad he had gotten there on time.

***

Sometimes Yixing half expected Kris to bite back at him, to wallow in that anger and bleed the bitterness of it. Kris learned his habits, how he liked to nap, that sometimes he really was thinking and listening when he spaced out. He learned Kris's ability to plan, his strengths, and the hurt he harbored. The story came in bits and pieces, nights eating out, dawn spent in a too-small car.

"We'd been working together a few months," Kris told him, the cheap cloth of the motel curtains blowing in the breeze Yixing was trying to eke some comfort from. "You think I'm angry? He was…he took it to another level. They gave him to me because they thought I could work him back from that, level him out a little. There'd been some close calls. I chewed him a new asshole more than once over foolish risks."

"But you cared about him."

"We've all been there. I kept telling myself, I'm sending him back after this one. He needs someone else to tone him down. He didn't die protecting me, is the only thing I can be thankful for. The demon took him apart like he was a sapling, because he ran ahead with nothing. No holy water. Nothing."

"So you blame yourself for not sending him away."

"Maybe. I think I know, even then, he'd still be dead. If it hadn't been that demon, it would've been another."

"At least you gave him purpose until the end," Yixing said. "The ghosts that can't rest that we see… They didn't get that."

"Maybe."

"You think he'd blame you?"

"No," Kris said, corners of his mouth curving a little. "No. Just like I wouldn't blame you if I did something stupid and got myself killed."

Yixing blinked at Kris. For that to happen, for there to be blame, then there had to be acceptance. That they were working together.

"I can hear you thinking," Kris teased.

"Pshht. You're really okay with it?"

"Some people work best alone." But Yixing jolted as Kris's hand came down on his shoulder. "Not everyone."

***

Some people made each other better hunters. They faced the nightmares so other people didn't have to. Sometimes the nightmares followed them. He woke some nights with his head next to Kris's shoulder, Kris having shoved him over to keep him quiet as he moaned in fear during his sleep. Most hunters were lying if they claimed they didn't care about the wellbeing of their partners. They were a team, pulling the weight the other could not, whether it was research or travel or the fine art of offing whatever evil they came across. Yixing was a better shot, but Kris bested him in power. Kris's latin was better, but Yixing had a better hand at drawing demon traps.

"I'm not sure why he accepted me," Yixing said, sitting on top of the car as he waited for Kris to buy food so they could get on the road.

"Maybe he was lonely," Lu Han mumbled around his own food on the other end of the line. "You're not an idiot."

"Usually," they both said at the same time.

Yixing had seen Kris smeared in blood, in filth, in sweat. He'd seen him with his face calm, holding up fake government documents. Quite an imposing stare to get them what they wanted, without all the pesky questions.

All that calm went out the window when they were rabbiting through the forest shouting coordination as some kind of were-creature growled after them. It kind of looked like a bear. Or a stegosaurus.

"I'll take the fairies again now," Yixing said, scrabbling up a tree so he could get his gun set.

"Shoot now! Now!" Kris bellowed.

And the creature went down.

Yixing had tree bark imbedded in his forearms, face scratched by branches, and one of Kris's sleeves were torn. Kris was the one that started the shoving match that ended in laughter, slouched against each other on the ground and eyeing their prey. It was dead, which was its sole redeeming feature. And they were not. He was still getting his breath back when Kris leaned hard into him.

"If you die, I'll never forgive you."

Yixing knew Kris didn't mean that day. But he knew it was the same for them both.

***

Prompt: End of the world fic, with an ice age/snowstorm as the impending/occurring disaster.

***

Cold. He was so cold. Yixing could not remember the last time he'd felt truly warm, even in his hodgepodge of blankets and furs. The wood was all gone, houses, buildings, were being torn down and destroyed for every scrap that could be converted to heat. The electric grid had been destroyed under the weight of the last big snow - almost six feet of it that time, following the four of the week before. Only a little melt in between which made the city look like a maze. That there was no wood wasn't quite true. It wasn't all gone. He had two larger sticks left that he wore strapped to his thighs during the day, and smaller ones he wore against his chest. They would be for trading for food or medicine. What he needed was to leave the city.

His immediate needs were food, and warmth.

To get away, it took him a year.

***

In the end it took ten pounds of wood to get off of the continent. Every chip, every splinter adding up in his pack and the bags he carried along his body. People lined up at the wharves like swarming ants hoping for a chance to be taken away. The ship was metal, a sailing ship. Yixing wasn't sure where they were going, he just knew it was away.

But there were dangers in that as well. Everyone was assigned places to sleep, but there was no heat to be had. No engine room to huddle in. All of the passengers were men. Other ships carried only women. But in a ship full of men, when the recommendation was to double up for warmth, bed partners were at a premium.

An older man cornered him on the way back from the surprisingly clean bathroom, grabbing his arm and twisting it until Yixing nearly cried out.

Hot, fetid breath against his cheek had him squirming and balling his fists.

"You're the prettiest one I've seen. I'll give you half my food and blow you every day if you let me have you in your bed."

"No. Let me go."

It wasn't the first offer he'd gotten. Some needed to be shoved aside, but this one seemed to want to prove his prowess, groping at Yixing's hip, as Yixing poised to swing.

And then the man was being pulled away. One of the crew, Yixing thought, taking in the man's half opened uniform and long hair pulled back into a tail. From the state of him, he'd just emerged from his own or someone else's bed.

"If you don't want to stand trial for assault and find yourself an ice cube we leave behind in the sea, you'll keep your hands to yourself," the crewman said.

The man who had grabbed Yixing scuttled away.

"Thank you," Yixing said. "Though I could have handled it. Worse has happened."

"To all of us, yes. But not on this ship. My name is Kris."

"Yixing."

The dinner bell rang, and there was a clamor as people raced - the first ones there got the hottest food. Yixing had grown weary of jostling in line. Even less warm, the food was halfway palatable, and the heat was welcome. Still, Kris took him by the elbow, and Yixing wasn't sure if it was because Kris was tall and imposing or because of his uniform, but they had their food in minutes. Yixing made sure not to look anyone in the eye, settling for hunkering down against a wall near Kris and eating quickly. Anything could happen. The ship could roll, a fight could break out. He'd lost half of his dinner once that way. And they only were allotted one hot meal per day.

"Where are you going?" Kris asked him.

Yixing shook his head, his mouth full of what tasted like dried fish, dried mushrooms, and maybe herbs, but with very little substance. He swallowed and felt the heat spread through him. "I don't know. Away, was my first plan. Besides that…"

"I understand. I had stayed to help my family, but they were all gone. I was able to get a position on this ship, before all the diesel was gone. That's how I bought my commission. The rest of my family is in Canada. One day, I'm hoping to work my way there."

Canada, Yixing thought, staring at Kris's knee beside him. "Where is this ship bound?"

"Places the snow hasn't reached yet, where there is still food. Anywhere along the equator is better than where we were, even with the changing currents."

"But it can't sustain everyone."

Kris cupped his bowl. "No. Though when we leave the equator to go back, we always take as much food as we can carry, as long as they can spare it. Some are still hoping for a growing season in the north."

"If it warms up for the snow to melt, the flooding will be immense. It doesn't seem like it'll ever be warm enough."

Year by year it got colder, snow building up, marching south, and pushing people who could not survive in their villages and cities south with it. It hadn't been unusual to find families living indoors with any food animals, or else they would be stolen and eaten. Desperation ramped up with every degree the thermometer had fallen, every morning the woke to find rivers frozen over. Communications had begun breaking down, not just among cities but country to country. Yixing hadn't seen a television in almost a year, hadn't heard news of anything outside of the city he'd ended up in near the wide mouth of the river.

He'd seen so many bodies frozen to death, with no way to dig a proper grave. There were big mounds of snow as monument to those who hadn't been hardy or lucky enough to survive.

Kris took his bowl and returned it, stopping by Yixing before he left as though he had something to say. Yixing stood with his hands pressed behind himself and watched Kris walk away.

But two days later, he found a note scribbled on a torn scrap of paper in his assigned sleeping corner. "Meet me where we ate before - K."

It was not time to eat, but Yixing went anyway. There was no one there, at least not right away. But after Yixing had walked up and down the hallway several times, he saw someone climbing down a ladder from the deck.

Kris.

He stood, frozen, wondering if he should have come at all as Kris stepped up to him. He could have fought, if he'd had to, and he was ready. He was always ready.

"I don't have much time," Kris said, leaning close. "Has the man from the other day bothered you?"

"No," Yixing said. "Your threat seemed to work."

"But you have no one to warm you. I would offer. I ask for nothing, not like he did. But the nights are cold, even for me."

"So because you're cold?" Yixing sputtered, unable to believe it.

"No. Because I saw how fierce you looked before I pulled that man away from you. You would've bitten his face off."

"Crewmen-"

"Can take a bedmate. I have my own cabin. It's small, just big enough to sleep in, but it's less open than here."

"Safer," Yixing said, and when Kris nodded, Yixing considered him. Maybe it had been because of how fierce he looked and how cold Kris was, or maybe it was because Kris was trying to protect someone perceived weaker than him. Or because he wanted something. "Do you snore?"

Kris blinked. "No."

"Why not one of the others?"

"You smell the least," Kris said, making Yixing gasp out a laugh. "Think about it. I'll find you later."

Yixing thought it through, listening to the snores of the people still sleeping. He was tired of the roll of the ship, tired of rolling into someone's feet. Tired of shivering himself awake even with the warmer air. Befriending a crewman meant benefits. Safety. Possibly even more food. It was possible Kris was lying and he wanted something more, but Yixing had dealt with those kind of people, too.

When Kris looked in on him, he was ready, everything he owned wrapped in his blanket. Instead of going to find food, Kris brought it to him, combining their blankets into a slightly smelly pile.

Yixing crawled in first, wanting the stability of a wall, and Kris after him. It wasn't much softer than the floor, but it was quieter.

"Don't worry," Kris told him. "I'll be getting up before you do."

It was the first time he really remembered feeling warm.

***

Living in a crewman's quarters was different than bedding down in the stinking squalor. Urine against the walls where men couldn't be bothered to find a pot. When Kris was off duty, he brought Yixing his rations before the bell even rang. When not, Yixing slipped into line with the rest and kept to himself. There were a few stares, but he wasn't without threat himself. Sure, they could beat him - but unless they killed him, he could tell the crew who it was, and they would be left to drown. The only other thing they could do was carry Yixing above deck, and throw him overboard. If they managed to do that without crew noticing, that would be something. So he was not afraid for himself. But he was alone, most of the time. There had been occasional conversations amongst the others to pass the time.

When Kris was working, all he had was the rocking of the ship, and humming to himself. With his pencil stub, sometimes he wrote down notes in his precious notebook. There were ten pages left. Every margin was filled, his writing so small and cramped, so he wrote down only the things that felt most inspired. He dreamed, though, of the places they were going. If they could truly be warmer, more abundant of food. Surely there were people streaming in all the time hoping for a better life against the encroaching winter. Hoping to survive. Even on the short voyage so far, Yixing knew he had been putting back on weight that he had lost and kept losing as food got scarcer.

There was no more shivering in the night, with two bodies most times to warm the air and the blankets. Kris was true to his word, never touching him unless to steady him as the ship rolled. He watched Kris eat, telling him about his day, about life in the past. Going to school in the cold, the shortening growing seasons, growing food in their houses, the gradual disconnect.

Sometimes they sang, Kris's voice joining his. Silly songs, songs from their past. But it comforted Yixing, that even if the whole earth was covered in ice, there would be music.

***

Yixing slipped out of the bed as the door opened. The ship had been heaving so violently in a storm that he had been braced inside, holding his breath with every wave. Kris was above deck, all hands needed to weather the storm, keep the sails safe. But it hadn't kept Yixing from worrying. If the ship sank, that was the end. If Kris were injured or killed, Yixing's life got harder again. He'd lose a bedmate, but also a friend. But Kris stumbled in and Yixing's heart leaped.

"Could you help?" Kris asked, voice breathy.

Yixing fumbled for the match, lighting the candle and taking in Kris - wet and dripping.

Kris was cold. Not the cold Yixing was used to, from ice and snow and frigid air, but cold from wind and rain. He was soaked to his skin, even with the outerwear to repel the water. In the light of the candle, Kris's lips nearly looked blue. Clothing piece by piece fell into the bucket, wet squelches as Kris shuddered. As Kris struggled with his pants, Yixing picked up a frayed piece of blanket. Getting Kris dry was first, getting him warm was second.

"The storm is finally subsiding," Kris said, his voice harsh. "No one could leave the deck. I was afraid for the sails."

"But it's clear now?"

"The captain sent most of us down for a few hours."

"You need more than that."

Even Kris's boots were soaked through, with water standing in them. Yixing nearly knocked one over as he handed Kris the blanket so he could continue drying himself, getting the water from his hair. But when the blanket was damp, and Kris dry, Yixing pushed Kris's side.

"It should still be warm in bed since I was in there. Go. I'll wring out your clothes."

Yixing watched, mostly to make sure that Kris didn't need any help getting under the blanket. He wasn't blind to the lines of Kris's body, but his primary concern was getting Kris warm, and getting Kris's clothes hung so they could dry. If Kris had only a few hours, they would never dry completely, but they would not be dripping. With as much might as he could, he wrung the water from them, leaving them hanging from the pegs on the wall. He dumped out Kris's boots, and blew out the candle.

He could still hear Kris moving, trying to warm up by using friction, and the first thing Yixing did before climbing in beside Kris was to remove his own clothes. He would transfer heat as best he could, skin to skin. Kris was less frigid and more cool to the touch as Yixing pressed against him.

"No, I'll get you cold," Kris protested.

"We'll be warm together soon," Yixing told him.

He tried to block the one sure way he knew of generating heat, too easy to imagine going from cold to sweaty against each other. Under his lifted head, Kris's slid immediately, pulling Yixing close. It was impossible to keep from shuddering as Kris buried his face in Yixing's neck. His breath, the touch. His hand curled into a fist as Kris's thigh slid between his. Cold, the press of skin.

"At least you had it warm before me," Kris said, and made Yixing shudder and cringe. "What's wrong?"

"My neck. I'm…ticklish."

Kris's head pulled back immediately. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about."

"For getting you out of bed, and getting you cold."

"Getting warmer all the time," Yixing told him. He could feel the play of muscles in Kris's back and rubbed to bring warmth, working downward. But he bit back the laugh when he got to Kris's lower back. His backside was probably fine to the touch, but that was beyond his scope. All of the muscles of Kris's arm were his to touch and rub, the long planes of it, tendons and bone. Kris's fingers had warmed against Yixing's side and they caught Yixing's when he reached them. Together they rested, legs creating little pockets of shared warmth.

"Thank you."

Yixing shook his head. "It's all right. Be warm. Rest."

Untangled, his hand raised to cup the side of Kris's head, feeling the cold outline of his ear. Holding Kris like that was so intimate, close, with Kris's arm around him. But Kris wasn't pulling him closer. If anything, he was holding back.

He prayed for courage, and guidance, and tasted rain on Kris's lips. Lips warm against his, as Kris tensed in surprise. And Yixing did not kiss him again, feeling the cold most terribly right then.

"Should I be sorry?" he asked.

"No," Kris said.

"Did you want it?"

Kris cleared his throat. "Yes. Of course, yes."

"But you never-"

Kris squeezed his hand against Yixing's back and stopped him. "I promised you that I would never ask for what that man asked. I didn't tell you I didn't want it. I meant to offer you protection, nothing more."

"But if I were so moved by your effort, maybe…?"

"It wasn't just for attraction. We talked. I admired you. You would've handed that guy his balls if he'd tried again."

Yixing relaxed again, fingertips tracing Kris's jaw. "Perhaps we'll speak of it again, when you don't need to be awake so soon."

"All right," Kris agreed.

And Yixing kissed him again, fingers against Kris's face as he lingered. He was grateful Kris was safe, there was that. But there was more.

***

More kisses, more heat, eve when Yixing had to guide Kris to let him know it was okay, that to touch was all right. Even if that was all they did, kisses, and bodies lined up so they could feel each other. Kris had a warm bed to return to, someone to talk to, someone that made the darkness not so oppressive. For that, Yixing was glad. Glad he was there, and that he could work the knots from Kris's muscles and soothe his tired body. There was only so much that could be done. Kris's face became more familiar than this own, his smiles, and the way he let Yixing trace it with his fingertips. He found himself sneaking Kris some of his own food when he noted that Kris was losing weight, and they passed so many days like that wound together.

Kris told him that they would have three days in their first port, and Yixing was glad. If he wanted to stay, he wanted to know it was a place he could live in. If not, he was free to continue on with the ship to the next. Yixing wasn't sure what he was expecting from the port. Less snow, more hope.

But Kris took him to paradise.

Oh, in reality it was a room no bigger than eight feet square, but there was a shower stall, and most importantly a tub full of steaming water. Yixing was still trying to adjust from life on a ship, and Kris had immediately taken him to land, and back to more water.

"They've learned how to easily desalinate the water, so there is no lack of hot water here," Kris told him. "Locally originated electricity, no wood or fossil fuels. It's yours. Go enjoy it."

"How long?" Yixing asked.

"We have this room for an hour," Kris said. "And then a room to sleep in for the night."

Yixing stared at the water, his shoulders relaxing just imagining it. "Share it with me?"

"Yixing."

There was hesitation in Kris's voice and Yixing smiled. The shower stall was just big enough for one, but the plentiful soap and feeling of scrubbing every inch of his skin clean was marvelous. He actually felt like he was glowing as he stepped out. Kris stood, his shirt off already.

"You look like you've reached heaven," Kris teased.

Maybe so. As the shower ran for Kris, Yixing sank into the heated water. It had been a long time since he had been chilled to the bone, but the memory of being cold had not left him. It sank through him like the most glorious hug, hot water up to shoulders. He was still lost in the pleasure of it when he felt Kris's fingers against his cheek.

"Don't faint in there," Kris told him.

"It's not hot enough for that," Yixing said, feeling a bit drunk. Half standing, he let Kris climb in as well, trying not to shudder at Kris's hands on his hips steadying them both. And when they settled, the water was a bit higher and his back was against Kris's chest. If anything it was even more comfortable. The only thing he wanted more was Kris to actually touch him, since both of Kris's arms were on the edge of the tub instead of in the water. It took only a tug and his guiding hands to wrap those arms around him. And then Yixing was truly content, being held by Kris and the water itself. They had over half an hour to bask, Yixing humming as Kris's fingers traced some undefinable pattern on his skin. But he wanted more than that. They had warmth, and light, and stillness.

And quiet.

The splashing of the water was loud in contrast, as Yixing turned himself.

He smoothed the confusion from Kris's face, and kissed it from his lips. There were sighs as Kris rubbed again his back and clutched him close.

Straying hands and eager lips had them shuddering against each other. Not the bath that Kris had expected, perhaps, but the way Yixing knew to welcome them to paradise.

He rested the remainder of their time, his head on Kris's shoulder, bodies curved together. Five minutes before they had to be out, there was a knock on the door so they could shower again and dress. Their movements were sluggish, limbs heavy from the warm water, but he smiled to himself to watch Kris dress. Kris's had was on his back as they walked to their room, hardly bigger than the bathing room had been but big enough for a bed, a dresser, and tiny bathroom.

"Sheets!" Yixing said, pouncing on the cloth immediately. "Real sheets!"

"Yeah," Kris said, chuckling. "Hey. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"All right?"

Kris pulled him closer, ringing Yixing's wrists with his hands and resting Yixing's hands against Kris's chest.

"You know how I told you I wanted to find my family."

"Canada."

"Right. Of course, they could be far south of there now, if they're lucky. But in the next port, there's another of this line's ships bound for the east. The captain of this ship has allowed me to take a place on it, as long as there is a sailor willing to replace me. I would be able to look for my family in the ports they stop at. I need to try."

"Of course," Yixing said, not questioning that at all. If he'd had family, he would have been looking for them, too.

"I can find you a position. Here, or in the next port. They're in need of good skills. Even with your music you might find a place. It would see you cared for, a roof over your head, and food. And no cold."

Yixing blew out a breath. "Okay?"

Kris seemed to copy him, his hands tightening almost to pain on Yixing's arms. "Or… I shouldn't ask you. But you could come with me. We'll cross the ocean, stop at the ports not blocked by ice, one by one going north as summer comes. If we find nothing, I would book travel by land, resign my commission. There are dog sleds, I think, at least one train that still runs if the information is true. If I can't find them then… I don't know what I'll do. But my intent is to find a place it's warmer to survive. If you stayed, I would try to come back to where you were."

"But there would be no guarantee you would make it," Yixing said. "And even if you did, it could be years."

Kris nodded. "Yes. Where I'm going, it will be cold, especially if I have to go by land."

Cold was familiar, at least. He knew how to combat it. If it was true, there were still trees growing on that continent in places. There was still food, in the rivers and oceans. To go away from the place they were, which wasn't warm but at least not cool, would be folly. To not go and risk watching Kris walk away forever was impossible. It seemed like paradise to him then, but it was because he was not alone. He thought even in the cold, with Kris to warm his bed, he could be content. It had been the constant fight to survive alone that had worn him down.

"If you tired of me on the way and left me in the ice, I would be really mad," Yixing told him. But there was something else that bothered him. "I bought my way onto this ship with wood. I have nothing left to buy a place on another ship."

"It is not a ship of passengers. They carry mostly cargo to trade in the ports to the east. If you would be wiling, I could bargain you on, and you could play for the captain and crew and lift their spirits during the long voyage in return for food. I can find you a guitar, or something else you can play. Space would not be an issue, because you would stay with me."

"You thought long on this."

"Since the moment you began to trust me," Kris confirmed. "It would be dangerous."

"So would being here, when more people arrive. And they will. We could be stronger together."

He lifted his head, met Kris's kiss, and sealed their bargain, and their fate.

They would need to buy supplies, for the journey and for what they might need in the east, but he believed they could do it. It was his own tenacity that had gotten him as far as he had. But he knew together they could go the rest of the way toward wherever they would call home.

***