[Fic] Stray and Lonely - 1/1 (EXO)
Title: Stray and Lonely
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun/Tao
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, domestic, ot3
Summary: Chanyeol and Baekhyun are long-time bffs who live together. One day Baekhyun brings home a stray and lost Tao who has nowhere to go. Chanyeol thinks nothing of it at first, but then Tao attaches himself to Baekhyun and suddenly Chanyeol is competing for attention.
***
It was the whispers that got to him. Having a friend drop by for a weekend or a week here and there wasn’t unusual. Baekhyun had a habit of bringing home strays of all kinds of varieties, getting them on their feet, and on their way. Chanyeol had come to terms with that even before they’d decided to move in together. And it wasn’t like he disliked people, so having another face laughing at the table was nice, just like having time just for the two of them was nice. It was definitely better than alone.
But then, the whispers. Tao had been one of Baekhyun’s strays, an animated guy who became Baekhyun’s second shadow. Tao helped Baekhyun with chores, and Baekhyun fetched him snacks, and more or less babied him. Chanyeol appreciated the help, since he wasn’t really excited by chores, and Tao was staying with them for basically free besides the cost of some food. Sometimes Chanyeol would wander out from his room to find Tao at Baekhyun’s side, mouth against his ear as Baekhyun laughed and smacked at Tao’s shoulder. It looked easy, intimate.
Too much like flirting. Every time Tao grinned at Baekhyun, Chanyeol felt his jaw clench. Every time Baekhyun let Tao drape over his shoulder or nape with his head in Baekhyun’s lap, it made him angry. Some he took out on his poor pillow. Some arguing at the walls when he was alone.
“Tao is not actually a cat. He doesn’t need to be touched all hours of the day.”
Worst, it reminded him of how he was with Baekhyun, pulling Baekhyun against his chest and tickle fights that ended in wrestling, and Baekhyun daring Chanyeol to move his legs off of Chanyeol’s lap. That was how they were, how they’d been for years, and suddenly there was no room in Baekhyun’s lap for him, and Baekhyun didn’t have as much need for his.
“Are we going to eat tonight, or what?” Chanyeol asked, frowning at where Baekhyun was leaning against Tao’s shoulder and reading.
Baekhyun frowned back at him, at his tone.
“I figured we would,” Baekhyun shot back. “Unless you think we shouldn’t.”
When Tao glared at him over Baekhyun’s head, Chanyeol couldn’t even feel his guilt at the way he spoke to Baekhyun any more.
***
It was so easy, too easy, to take it out on Baekhyun. When he pushed at Baekhyun, Baekhyun pushed back. When he had a worry, Baekhyun listened. But he couldn’t tell his worry about Baekhyun to Baekhyun. Or, he guessed he could’ve but Baekhyun would’ve said he was being a stupid jerk, and he wasn’t ready to hear anything of the sort. Griping at Tao just got him frowns and drama, and Baekhyun glaring at him because Tao was their guest and he should stop being so immature.
So the jokes got more cutting, and Baekhyun’s retorts took on an edge Chanyeol didn’t like, which set him off even more. And it had never been like that, not before Tao was there.
He was sick of sharing a bathroom with Tao, sick of waiting for Tao to be done. When he barged in on Tao getting ready for bed, he ignored the outraged squawk, and just started brushing his teeth.
“You shouldn’t take so long,” he griped, sticking his toothbrush back in his mouth and taking out his frustration on his tooth enamel.
“Maybe you should go, then,” Tao said, arms crossed. He probably would’ve stalked out if Chanyeol hadn’t been blocking his exit.
“I’m sure you’d like me to just move out,” Chanyeol said, swiping at his mouth. Like he’d just leave Baekhyun there because of some kid. It wasn’t like Tao was that much younger than them, and he was tall and had an interesting style, and generally cute manners. And that pissed Chanyeol off more than anything.
“Maybe Baekhyun would be happier then,” Tao shot back, jamming his toothbrush into its holder.
“What did you say?” Chanyeol asked, rounding on him, though Tao never moved an inch.
“You keep- Why are you being like this! Baekhyun said you make him laugh and you’re just being mean to him!”
“You’ve been here for weeks!” Chanyeol shouted back, before Tao’s words trickled in. Mean to Baekhyun, not to Tao. “You don’t know anything!”
“Yes, I do!” Tao nearly shrieked, his hand pushing against Chanyeol’s chest.
“Stop it!”
Chanyeol flinched, leaning into the counter as Baekhyun pressed by him.
“One second I’m sleeping and the next you’re trying to wake up the whole building screaming at each other?”
“We-“ Chanyeol started. He shut his mouth at the look Baekhyun leveled at him, pinched and severe.
The apology Chanyeol leveled was directed in general toward both of them, and he could still hear them murmuring together when he shut his door. That hurt maybe more than anything.
***
Chanyeol was of a mind that birthdays were supposed to be exciting, something to look forward to. Something happy, at least, to lessen the sting that another year had passed and another year was added on. Things really didn’t keep looking up after the ascent from single to double digits. And Baekhyun was good at that, good at Chanyeol. One year, they’d gone out and sang until they’d barely been able to whisper, weaving home tired and satisfied. Baekhyun’s thoughts about Chanyeol’s birthday included Chanyeol butting out, and he didn’t generally figure out what was planned until the day of. Going him from work that day, though, his birthday that he should’ve been happy about, just made him wary. Worried, really, if he was honest. He didn’t know if Baekhyun remembered, if he was angry enough to do anything about it. He didn’t think Baekhyun was that petty, but things hadn’t exactly been happiness and joy.
So maybe he stomped a bit, getting into the apartment. Maybe he let his bag drop, glaring at absolutely nothing as he slumped toward the kitchen for a drink.
Tao was gaping up at him from his knees, a scattering of what looked like noodles, rice, vegetables, all over the kitchen floor in front of him. And he scrambled to his feet when Chanyeol didn’t move. Of course Tao would be there. He couldn’t even have a pity party in peace.
“You’re not supposed to be home yet!”
Chanyeol blinked, though he wasn’t surprised that Tao wished he’d just go away even on his own birthday. “Sorry?”
But when he looked up, tears were already spilling down Tao’s cheeks as he stared at the mess on the floor.
“You can just order in,” Chanyeol said, a bit wary. The reaction seemed a bit much even if the food was really expensive.
“B-Baekhyun trusted me,” Tao gasped. “Now your birthday is ruined!”
Chanyeol didn’t move out of the doorway to let Tao past, even when Tao was pushing at him and trying to edge around him. He finally got Tao to stop by grabbing a fistful of Tao’s shirt and holding him still as Tao determinedly looked to the side.
“This was for me?”
“Baekhyun doesn’t like us fighting,” Tao whispered, as though that was a secret. “So he though I could- He was going to come home early and help me but he couldn’t.”
“But you don’t even like me.”
“I wanted to! And Baekhyun does. I thought…”
He wasn’t sure if Tao flashed back to their shouting match, and Tao accusing him of being mean to Tao, not even mentioning the little ways he’d been aggressive or cutting, or making Tao feel unwelcome.
What had been patently obvious reached out and smacked him upside the head, even as Tao was trying to pry Chanyeol’s fingers out of his shirt.
“You really care about him,” Chanyeol said.
Though Tao’s tears had stopped, his eyes were still wide when he met Chanyeol’s.
“He took me in. He looked after me, and helped me get a job, and-“ Tao waved his arm in the air.
“Yeah, he does that,” Chanyeol said.
“I told Baekhyun I should go, but he wanted us to try and be friends.”
They looked at the mess on the floor. An hour ago, he’d have been tempted to do a little jig hearing Tao had considered leaving. In the very bottom of his goals, that would’ve been one of his hopes Then he’d have everything back to normal again. He wouldn’t be angry any more, if Tao was gone. But it wasn’t Tao’s fault, and it wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault. It was his fault. Maybe Tao’s a little too, but he was in charge of himself.
“New plan,” Chanyeol said, letting go of Tao’s shirt. “I’ll help you clean this up, and then we order something in. Then nothing’s ruined. Well, except your effort. But you tried. It looks good?”
Tao laughed a bit, letting his head drop. “Okay.”
“If we left this on the floor and told him we’d gotten into a fistfight, he’d probably believe it.”
“Probably,” Tao agreed. “But then he’d probably push our faces into it until we apologized to each other.”
It was the first real grin they’d shared in a while. It hurt a little. But it felt good more than that.
***
The kitchen was spotless, and Chanyeol had spread out their collection of take out menus. Some were laminated by Baekhyun because he got cranky when papers started getting greasy. Did you eat with the menu, he always wanted to know. Tao was waiting at his elbow, like he was going to give himself a deadly paper cut or something of the like.
“What do you want to eat?”
“It’s your birthday,” Tao said, scandalized.
“Okay. Okay, so you choose the restaurant, I’ll choose the food.”
Tao waited a moment, but he still nodded. Compromise.
After the food was ordered, all they really had to do was wait, and with the nothing else to do, Chanyeol flopped on the couch and felt his spine creak into alignment. Tao was hovering like he wasn’t sure what to do until Chanyeol patted the seat next to him. Though, Tao wasn’t too far away with the arm Chanyeol looped around his neck, pulling him in.
They didn’t really have to talk, all flopped together like that, but it was his birthday so he was going to do what he wanted. He didn’t know the words to apologize, really, so it was what he could do at that moment.
“Favorite thing about Baekhyun?”
Baekhyun was their middle ground.
“When he yawns,” Tao said, chuckling. “He can’t even control it.”
“Oh yeah. And when his smile goes all pointy when he’s about to deliver a smack down.”
“He likes cuddling when he’s tired.”
That was a bit of a shove in the gut, because he certainly hadn’t been cuddling with Baekhyun the last couple of weeks.
“Yeah,” Chanyeol said.
“You should, too. I think he misses…”
His head fell back against Tao’s a little too hard but they didn’t move. He thought about it, and yeah. He missed Baekhyun but it was a missing of his own making.
“Yeah. We should. So. All of us?”
His words were failing him, but Tao was nodding, hair soft against Chanyeol’s face.
Tao actually clutched at him like he was going to let go when the door lock clicked open. Baekhyun’s first look was to the kitchen, which was obviously empty and pristine, and he froze as the door slid shut behind him to see both their faces looking at him.
“Welcome home,” Chanyeol said, and Tao parroted the same thing after him.
“I ruined dinner,” Tao added.
“So we ordered in. It should be here soon.”
Baekhyun looked back at the door like he’d maybe entered the wrong apartment. Then he held up the bakery box in his hand, and offered a grin.
“Happy birthday?”
***
The box turned out to be a cake, which Baekhyun carefully guarded against plundering fingers. The food arrived not long after, though, which meant three sets of knees trying to get under the table. He hadn’t even noticed so much since most times he was pushed back from the table, eating and paying attention only halfway because Tao was there, or pouting in his room or on the couch.
“We need a bigger table,” Chanyeol said, as he fought off Tao’s wandering spoon.
Baekhyun froze very attractively with a hunk of chicken hanging out of one corner of his mouth. “A tawel?”
Which Chanyeol interpreted with ease. “Yeah. More room for food and our legs. I mean, not that you have much- Hey!“
He leaned behind Tao to get out of the range of Baekhyun’s flying fingers.
“It’s my birthday,” Chanyeol pouted.
“That doesn’t give you any rights to insult my height,” Baekhyun sniffed. “Just because…”
“Oh no,” Chanyeol breathed.
Tao’s sputtered laughter stopped the rant, though Tao’s longer legs didn’t get off lightly either. And Baekhyun was grinning, which Chanyeol had to say made him even happier than the promise of cake did. He basked as they sang happy birthday to him, and he had only a half-formed wish in his head as he blew out the candle. Maybe that moment of happiness wouldn’t end. Maybe he could hold onto it a little longer.
Tao was the one who slipped away as they finished their cake, returning with two lumps wrapped in different kinds of wrapping paper. He couldn’t say he was surprised by the gifts so much as he was that one of them seemed to be from Tao. Tao had maybe been trying for a lot longer than Chanyeol could’ve given him credit for.
“Baekhyun’s first,” Tao said.
Chanyeol wasn’t sure if it was because Tao was apprehensive about the present he got or what, but he didn’t argue, pulling Baekhyun’s lumpy package at him.
“Don’t even try and joke about the wrapping,” Baekhyun said, narrowing his eyes as Chanyeol gave him an innocent stare.
“You get a sticker for trying,” Chanyeol said, and got a cuff to the head that had Tao bursting out in laughter.
“You both suck.”
“You picked us,” Chanyeol said, and ripped open his prize.
It turned out to be a new set of Chanyeol’s much-loved and worn headphones, a couple of CDs, and a gift card for a bookstore. It was a lot, and it was all typical Baekhyun.
“You know me best,” Chanyeol said, rattling one of the CD cases as he looked at the other one.
“I’d better. Now Tao’s.”
The packaging was certainly nicer thought he glance he shared with Tao was acknowledgement of that. It was all he could do without Baekhyun growling at him. He didn’t rip it quite as fast, and he didn’t know why. Drawing out the anticipation, the curiosity. It wasn’t a gift from Baekhyun, who didn’t get offended when Chanyeol destroyed the wrapping. But his mouth bowed to see the gift, when it was uncovered. It was the box set of a drama he’d started but never finished. Maybe Baekhyun had cued Tao about it, or maybe Tao had listened to Chanyeol’s rant about it. Whichever, it didn’t matter, and Tao was nearly squirming, hands all balled up as Chanyeol gaped up at him.
“You realize you have to watch this with me, right?”
From Tao’s face, he hadn’t realized it was part of the deal. But he didn’t argue, either.
***
Even with the sound of Tao putting out his bedding in the living room, it felt like home in a way Chanyeol hadn’t realized. He didn’t feel like he was going to jitter out of his skin when he walked back to his room with a glass of water, coming back out to find Baekhyun waiting in the hall for him. For Baekhyun, he had words he had to say. And there was no better time to say them than when he was feeling them the most.
“I wanted to tell you thanks for today, and. I’m sorry.” He didn’t even have to say what for, because he knew Baekhyun knew. “I’ve been a jerk. Realizing that was my gift to myself, I guess.”
When Baekhyun didn’t say anything, he wondered, but it was only a momentary wondering because Baekhyun was stepping up and Chanyeol was holding his arms open. And then it was right, Baekhyun’s arms around his neck, holding Chanyeol close as Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s ribs.
“We all have stupid moments,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol nodded emphatically. Or weeks, but whatever. “I really do want you two to- I think you’ll like him.”
“I think I will,” Chanyeol agreed.
Even if it meant sharing. Even if it meant losing part of his access to Baekhyun that he’d apparently taken for granted.
When Baekhyun whispered “Thank you” to him, Chanyeol’s heart hurt. But it was the first step. Just the first step.
***
Baekhyun being the middle ground was something they kept in mind. Whether it was conspiring together to make sure Baekhyun ate or rested, or wrestling him down between them on the couch so he could suffer with them, it made no difference. Chanyeol half suspected he’d have liked a little less of that, but that was the reason people had to be careful what they wished for. Just leaning his head against Baekhyun’s and crossing one of his ankles over Tao’s made things more comfortable. It was connection. It ticked Tao off a little, and Chanyeol liked that, too. They’d only broken one light wrestling with each other, and it had been in fun, not anger. Sometimes he saw the way Tao smiled at Baekhyun, the way Baekhyun was easy leaning into Tao, and it made him cuddle Tao a little more aggressively the next time. Not that that was hard, because Tao was pretty much a giant house cat, and he didn’t even really get why. His instinct should’ve been to grab onto Baekhyun, but Baekhyun probably would’ve kneed him. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to reassure himself of. The fact that he enjoyed Tao’s company was both a dirty joke by the universe, and kind of nice, especially when Baekhyun hit a busy patch and Chanyeol would’ve gone stir crazy being home alone.
It should’ve been fine, their living arrangement. Tao was paying rent, they had their own schedules. Tao ran around in tiny little shorts, and pressed up against Chanyeol’s side for coffee, and it was a month of just being all together instead of being made.
“I think Baekhyun should more shirts in that red he was wearing today,” Chanyeol said, picking through a box of chocolates that he’d picked up on impulse. Though, given that half of it was gone and he’d been home half an hour, he couldn’t claim he had the only sweet tooth.
“I really like that shirt on him,” Tao agreed.
It wasn’t the sigh of a friend, but the sigh of a man in definite appreciation, with the added undertone of maybe also wanting to take the shirt off him. And Chanyeol knew those feelings all too well.
“Maybe he’d wear it if you asked him on a date?” Chanyeol asked, foot tapping on his opposite calf as he scrolled through his tablet.
“What?” Tao squawked. “No! He’s in love with-“
Chanyeol looked up as Tao hit himself in the face with a pillow.
“In love with? Baekhyun’s in love with someone else?”
“Well.” Tao looked like he wanted to vomit. “Maybe.”
“He’s never said anything to me.”
“I think he just. He wants to. I don’t know,” Tao said, and pressed his lips together.
“But you like him,” Chanyeol pressed.
There was something wiggly to Tao’s shoulders as he kind of nodded, like he didn’t feel like yes was the right answer. Maybe he thought Chanyeol would’ve been made, like Tao was trying to encroach on friend territory. And given his prior behavior, Chanyeol couldn’t have blamed him there.
“You should talk to Baekhyun,” Tao said, firm, after Chanyeol kicked at him. “Because. Don’t you want to take him on a date, too?”
Chanyeol laughed and had no idea why he was laughing. He tried saying no. He tried to make a joke. Tao was still staring at him.
“Why are you being so weird,” Chanyeol grumbled, and threw down his tablet.
***
Even before his knuckles rapped against Baekhyun’s door, Chanyeol knew he’d come to a point where he had to make a choice. He could turn back, or step forward, or keep the status quo. The thought of Baekhyun being in love with someone had a giddy sickness running through him. He flashed through every soul they knew, every business associate Baekhyun had ever mentioned, every coffee provider. He thought of Tao, because it was possibly Baekhyun had just never meant for Tao to know. And for bright, brief moment, he’d even considered himself. But Baekhyun put aside the laundry he’d been folding in preparation for his upcoming business trip, since Chanyeol was looming with all kinds of uncertainty surely screaming out of him.
“I’m confused,” Chanyeol said.
“About what? I know how much confuses you,” Baekhyun teased.
And Chanyeol breathed in. He wanted to know. Needed to know.
“I was talking to Tao, and he said you’re in love with someone? I’m confused, because… You and Tao are so touchy, so I thought you were into him. You haven’t talked about anyone else?”
Baekhyun’s face got progressively more horrified as Chanyeol rattled on, and he pushed himself onto his feet by the time Chanyeol was done, voice small and confused.
“Tao said what?”
“He didn’t say who, but I took it from what he said,” Chanyeol assured, holding up a hand. Tao was hardly the divulger of secrets.
“A month ago you couldn’t even look at him, and now you’re trading secrets about me?”
Chanyeol snorted. “Be careful what you wish for? But seriously. I can’t even be mad, because there's someone I like too, and I haven't told him, and I haven’t told you either.”
It wasn’t at all the way he’d meant to do it, and it wasn’t as though any of it was a secret to himself. But to Baekhyun, it had to have been. Maybe he’d wondered, the way Chanyeol had acted, but if he said anything more, it could only be taken as confirmation.
“So let’s do it right, then,” Baekhyun said, edging closer and gnawing on his lower lip. “On three, we tell each other. Just like always.”
“No matter what?” Chanyeol said.
“Yeah.”
Baekhyun was the one who counted, and Chanyeol’s brows got lower and lower as he drew breath. One. Two. Three.”
“You.”
“You.”
It was an echo. He’d tried to be prepared for almost anything, anything but that, and Baekhyun gaped.
The only thing that differentiated their “Me?” responses was the fact that Chanyeol stuttered.
But Baekhyun and Tao- But they’d been living together for ages, and Baekhyun had never treated him the way he had Tao.
“But-“
“You never said anything!” Chanyeol accused.
“That was why you were so pissy?”
“You were my best friend! I never thought you would-“
Baekhyun hit his chest with a light fist. “That’s not how this was supposed to go, you jerk.”
But Chanyeol still had a question. “How long?”
“Too long to remember,” Baekhyun said, still shaking his head like he was trying to grasp it just like Chanyeol was. “You?”
“You remember Kyungsoo’s birthday party, the one where we accidentally bought too many shots for Joonmyun? That was the first night I realized I really wanted. Everything. You went home with Jongdae, and I wanted to kiss you.”
A couple of years, maybe, and Baekhyun looked like Chanyeol had punched him instead.
“Maybe we’re both jerks,” he said faintly. “How did it... And still?”
“Maybe there was supposed to be a right time?” Chanyeol ventured.
“And it took Tao to…” Baekhyun’s smile faded, as though realizing something important.
Right, Tao. Tao, the one Baekhyun looked at in fondness, and cuddled, and leaned on.
It felt like the words were forced from him, but he said them. “You like him, don’t you? He thinks you were in love with me, but…”
“I like him,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol did his best to keep his face blank. “I just. I didn’t expect to have a chance with either of you.”
“You like him more than me?”
Baekhyun shook his head, wrapping his fingers around Chanyeol’s wrist. Even painful, he wanted it sorted out. He wasn’t going to run away to brood until he knew how much he had to brood over.
“No. More like. In addition to? I never stopped…feeling like I do about you. He’s just. Tao.”
Chanyeol nodded, swallowing hard. “Then. What do we do?”
“That’s not a choice I want to have to make,” Baekhyun said, the little laugh after it so bitter. “But it’s not fair to either of you if I don’t.”
“I think he really likes you a lot. Not that he could help it,” Chanyeol said, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. “Either way I understand.”
“That’s a lie,” Baekhyun said, voice mild even though they were both utterly tense.
“Well. I didn’t say I’d be happy about it.” Chanyeol glanced back to where he knew Tao was in the living room. “I’d understand.”
He’d already been terrible about Baekhyun with Tao before. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stay there, seeing them being not just affectionate, but also a true couple. That, he wasn’t sure he could stand to face especially knowing that had he only spoken up, he might have had a shot. Or, he and Baekhyun could have been dating and Tao might have come between then. Who knew. It’d at least, take a lot more time to process than the ten minutes he’d had.
“We can talk about it after you get back?” Chanyeol offered, squeezing Baekhyun’s hand. He felt like a real adult saying that, like a few days were nothing. Pressing it, backing Baekhyun into a snap decision, that wasn’t going to help. If he chose wrong, one way or the other, it could be horrible.
“We haven’t changed. This hasn’t changed,” Baekhyun said, and smiled when Chanyeol nodded.
“Do you need help getting this stuff in your suitcase?”
“No, I got it. I’m just going down my list. Shoo. Tao’s probably cursing you for taking so long so you can get back to the TV.”
If Baekhyun wanted to think that, that was fine. But Chanyeol knew better, especially when he went out and Tao was staring at him like he was expecting to be kicked.
“Did he tell you?” Tao almost whispered.
Chanyeol nodded. Apparently Tao had known. Maybe Baekhyun had told him. Maybe Tao had just seen what they’d been too busy denying. But when pressed, Tao wouldn’t say any more, just pressing against Chanyeol’s shoulder and watching the TV with unnatural intensity. It was another fifteen minutes, and Baekhyun emerged.
“Packing is done,” Baekhyun said, standing at the arm of the couch.
Chanyeol met Tao’s eyes and they moved apart, the barest distance required so that Baekhyun could sit between them. They would both have that time to have contact with Baekhyun before he left. It’d only be three days. Just three days.
“You’ll have to remember to clean-“
“We know,” they chorused, and got twin smacks from Baekhyun. They were prepared, but not really prepared at all.
***
It wasn’t strange being alone, just the two of them, because when Baekhyun worked late, they were alone anyway. He knew Tao’s schedule, what he liked to eat, when he liked to shower. Sometimes he even let Tao badger him into showering with him, which was a fiasco that was usually fun, arguing over the shampoo and who got more of the spray. Naked bodies were hardly an issue, and he wasn’t hardly impolite. That didn’t mean he didn’t see, because Tao wasn’t exactly fond of clothes at times, preferring to get dressed out of the steam. He’d seen all Tao had to offer for quite some time, so it wasn’t like that had anything to do with…anything.
There were weird moments of clarity, like handing Tao the toothpaste because he’d just finished using it, or snagging the juice container to put it away. They clicked, so used to each other that he knew which side of the couch Tao preferred and that tickling him was an effective way to get him up after a nap - as long as he avoided Tao’s arms.
It was instinct that carried him, because trying to make an equation out of all the little elements he’d piled up was creating squares instead of solutions. It didn’t make sense, because if Tao-
And Tao jumped when Chanyeol turned off the TV in the middle of an episode, alarmed when Chanyeol twisted on the couch to face him.
“What?” Tao asked, looking him up and down like something had fallen out of the sky and smacked him on the head.
“Did you want Baekhyun to tell me?” Chanyeol asked. Because that was the part he didn’t get. If Tao was in love with Baekhyun, and knew there was the possibility of Baekhyun liking him back, then he had no reason. No one sabotaged themselves on purpose.
“Yeah,” Tao sighed.
“Why?”
“Doesn’t he deserve to be happy?”
Chanyeol’s mouth dropped open. “Wow, way to make me feel like a selfish jerk.”
“Well, and because if he chose you or whatever happened, then I wouldn’t need to hope any more.”
“Oh yeah.”
That had them in silence for a long minute, but not necessarily in stillness. Tao leaned into him until he was pressed against Chanyeol’s side.
“If he chose you before I knew I even had a shot, that would’ve sucked,” Chanyeol said, pulling Tao closer. “But…”
Making him choose at all seemed cruel, too. Well, no. It seemed normal, but there was a nagging worry in the back of his head wondering if it didn’t work out one way or the other, if Baekhyun would’ve been happier if he’d just made the other decision. That was life, the branches of decisions that led them down different paths.
Baekhyun’s face when he looked at Tao was sometimes so soft. Chanyeol had started to understand over the weeks they’d gotten closer. But Tao’s eyes were steady even if his voice wasn’t quite.
“He wouldn’t have picked me over you,” Tao said, like he was trying to reassure Chanyeol somehow, or maybe himself.
Chanyeol watched Tao speak, the way he formed the words, the way the words almost felt like they were giving up in a sense. The fact that he wanted to argue back that he had no guaranteed place, that Baekhyun hadn’t exactly leapt into his arms and kicked Tao out the door, stuck in his throat. Maybe Chanyeol had loved Baekhyun longer, but that didn’t necessarily make him more. More in Baekhyun’s feelings, more right, more likely, anything. He felt like he should’ve been cocky and bold, like just believing he’d be the first choice would make it happen. It was the wanting of it, the lingering disbelief that he could have it, that kept him back, even as Tao’s hand cupped Chanyeol’s neck.
Maybe he should’ve been angry. At the very least, they were the same, he and Tao. Right there, right in front of him was Tao, and he felt nothing like that.
And they were caught together, as he stared at Tao’s lips.
It took the briefest of movements, Tao’s arm sliding behind his neck, his shirt catching against Chanyeol’s. But the first touch of Tao’s lips sent tingles over his skin, hitching Tao closer and kissing him again. He could feel the texture of Tao’s earrings against his fingers, the softness of his hair at his nape. Tao whimpered against him, their thighs sliding together. But it was all over when Chanyeol caught Tao’s lower lip between his teeth. With a gasp, Tao turned, breathing damply against Chanyeol’s neck.
He found Tao cute. He found Tao attractive. He found Tao-
For a moment he wondered if it wasn’t some kind of retaliation, if his interest in Tao came from the fact that he knew Baekhyun was interested. But he couldn’t find it. All he knew was that he felt strangely warm, the way that Tao was clutching at him.
“We can’t,” Tao said, and it had Chanyeol nodding, his hand stroking up Tao’s back.
“Yeah.”
But Tao didn’t stay like that, pressed up against him. He pulled back, mouth parted like he was ready to speak, and then he paused until Chanyeol wanted to shake the thought right out of his head.
“What?”
“What if-“ And Tao’s eyes were wide. “What if he didn’t have to choose?”
***
Chanyeol wasn’t sure if they were more excited, or apprehensive about baekhyun coming back. There were so many possibilities about the whole thing, that it seemed like it could really work for them. But without Baekhyun being on board, all they had were some fledging understandings and feelings they really hadn’t anticipated, and those were just too easily mangled if Baekhyun just outright refused.
Tao tried to cheer him, but it was a bit like not knowing what was going to happen at all. He had no way of knowing even knowing that Baekhyun had feelings for both of them that ran that deep. Inviting disaster wasn’t exactly Chanyeol’s middle name. But after the text Baekhyun sent that he was almost there, neither of them sat down. He straightened and re-straightened Tao’s shirt, until Tao was fussing with him instead.
The’d been restless all morning, since Tao had woken him up with a kick. That had been an accident, letting Tao sleep next to him, but Tao’d fallen asleep while they’d been talking, planning. Chanyeol had been too soft to kick him out. That didn’t explain the second night, but he wasn’t counting.
Tao’s arms wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist just as the door opened and Baekhyun started through it.
“Welcome home!” Chanyeol said, throwing his arms out wide, and Tao’s chin rested on his shoulder as he parroted the words.
Baekhyun just sort of…stopped. Shoes still on, bag in his hand, he just stared at them.
“Thanks?” Baekhyun said, and blinked at them.
“Did you have a good trip? Was it loud?” Tao wanted to know.
“Yeah. It was fine? I’m just glad to not be in motion any more.”
“Are you tired? Do you want to go out to eat? We had a place in mind,” Chanyeol said, glancing at Tao who was nodding with enthusiasm.
“Yeah! It really looks good. Do you want to?”
Baekhyun still looked a little wary, like he’d wandered into something he wasn’t sure how to process.
“I’m- Yeah, dinner out is fine? I just need to put my suitcase away.” And Baekhyun paused. “What…”
Baekhyun shook his head instead, continuing back to his room. That was when they sprung into action, dashing back and nearly elbowing each other as Tao detoured into the bathroom and Chanyeol into his room so they could change. It took only a couple minutes, buttoning up the nice shirts they’d chosen and going back to lean against the couch and wait. They were squabbling over Chanyeol fixing Tao’s hair as Baekhyun came back out.
“Ready?” Chanyeol asked, bright, like Tao wasn’t trying to muss his own hair up.
“Did we do a good job keeping it clean in here?” Tao asked, sly.
“Yeah,” Baekhyun said. “You guys did good. Though, where’s your bed?”
“Oh, I’ve been sleeping with Chanyeol,” Tao said, like it had no double meanings at all.
Chanyeol coughed into his fist, and grabbed Baekhyun’s arm with his free hand.
“Let’s get going.”
“What did I say?” Tao wanted to know as they started out.
Chanyeol wasn’t going to answer, and it didn’t seem like Baekhyun even knew what to think.
***
But once they’d gotten settled and ordered their food, Chanyeol was mostly waiting for Baekhyun to drop out of pretending mode. It wasn’t like Chanyeol could blame him, because things were changing a lot, and not just for him. Only Tao seemed to be immune, picking at the appetizer they’d chosen and bumping against Chanyeol’s shoulder until Chanyeol wanted to grab him. It wasn’t like they were just going to drop their idea on him in the middle of a drink, as funny as the mental image was. Getting sprayed with water wasn’t on his plan for the night.
“So, you’re sharing a room now,” Baekhyun said.
Tao nodded. “His bed is nice. He’s only kicked me once, and he makes sure I get up in the morning.”
A feat in itself, though Chanyeol tried to be wise by holding his tongue.
“Is this some kind of weird thing where you keep tabs on each other so neither of you gets any extra time with me?” Baekhyun asked, squinting at both of them.
It was kind of an ingenious thought, and he was really glad that wasn’t it, because trying to keep tabs of Tao- No. He couldn’t.
“Kind of,” Chanyeol said. And it was a pretty terrible segue, but he leaped on it. “But not really? We talked, and figured… Why not date both of us?”
Baekhyun’s hand flopped onto the table. “What?”
“That’s not right,” Tao scolded, and Baekhyun almost looked relieved until Tao said, “Chanyeol would date me, too.”
“You…” Baekhyun stopped, regrouped. “Wait. Do you mean you actually slept with him while I was gone?”
Chanyeol said no while Tao agreed, and Chanyeol smacked Tao’s arm.
“In my bed, but we didn’t fool around.”
“He kisses nice, though,” Tao said, and Chanyeol beamed at him.
“You’re cute when you’re not being annoying.”
Tao’s retort was cut off by Baekhyun’s high pitched little sound.
“I feel like my life just flashed in front of my eyes. You hated each other a month ago? You kissed him? This is a date?”
“I didn’t hate him,” Chanyeol sulked.
“I just hated he was being a jerk because he was jealous,” Tao said. “But you can think about it! Right?”
Chanyeol nodded and added in his agreement.
Baekhyun laughed. “Think about it, while you two are sharing a bed and kissing each other.”
Tao actually huffed at him. “It’s not like we’ll decide we don’t need you.”
“I went into an alternate universe,” Baekhyun said.
Chanyeol didn’t know if he was supposed to be scared or not, that Baekhyun wasn’t jumping for joy at the prospect of having two boyfriends. In his head, Baekhyun kissing Tao was a pretty thing, and kissing Baekhyun himself even prettier, so he wanted as much as he could get there. And Tao showed some real promise there. Still, they couldn’t exactly talk about having a threesome on the way home, so it was easy for Baekhyun to sit between them and Tao to chatter about the drama they’d watched while Baekhyun was away.
“Did you fall down at hit your head?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol very seriously as they rode up the elevator to their floor.
“If I did, I hope it was a good thing,” Chanyeol countered.
“This is some kind of elaborate joke. Is there going to be some kind of surprise party when we get back? I don’t think it’s my birthday,” Baekhyun muttered.
And Tao was laughing silently as Chanyeol hauled him along.
“Not helping,” Chanyeol hissed.
“I know but-“
He managed to keep Tao quiet until they actually got into the apartment, and when Baekhyun rounded on them, Tao was holding onto Chanyeol’s arm so hard that it actually hurt.
“Are you serious?”
“We know it’s complicated. But it could be worth it! We already know we can live together! And things.”
“Can we have a kiss?” Tao blurted, totally derailing Chanyeol’s attempt to be persuasive. “Since it was a date. Chanyeol gets to first. We agreed.”
“And do I get a say in that?” Baekhyun asked, sounding oddly calm.
“Well, yeah. It’s not like you have to. We kind of sprung it on you,” Chanyeol said, and hissed as Tao tried stepping on his foot to stop him from talking. “It’s a lot to think about.”
But Baekhyun was shaking his head, amused, incredulous, Chanyeol wasn’t sure which. “You two first. I want to see- Maybe this’ll wake me up.”
When Chanyeol looked to Tao, he was shrugging. It wasn’t like they hadn’t before. And if it made it more real to Baekhyun, that was what mattered. Maybe it’d make it happen, or keep them from it. Though Tao was impatient, tugging Chanyeol’s jacket and pressing their lips together.
Chanyeol could nearly feel the prayer behind the kiss, like it was something they were doing for luck. Tao’s eyes met his first, fingers slowly loosening in the cloth and letting Chanyeol go. There was some kind of pleased grin there that Chanyeol didn’t really get until he looked over, and there was Baekhyun still trying to pick up his jaw.
“You mean it,” Baekhyun said.
“Well, yeah! I mean-”
But then Chanyeol was too busy being pulled down to Baekhyun’s level. Too busy inhaling and closing his eyes just before Baekhyun kissed him. His brain was too busy fritzing on that thought, and he wanted it back, wanted to feel more and catalogue Baekhyun’s mouth, and Baekhyun was holding him back.
“He said you were first, not second, too,” Baekhyun teased.
“Guh?”
Tao was so much less off guard that he’d been, stepping up and nearly bending Baekhyun back in his enthusiasm.
“Okay!” Chanyeol yelped, and Baekhyun laughed, flushing as Tao giggled with him.
“Now all together,” Tao said, breathless, like he’d run all the way up.
“How does that even work?”
But no skepticism stopped them, Chanyeol holding Tao’s jaw still so he could lean in and get their cheeks together, and Baekhyun’s arms around both their necks. It was awkward and they were laughing. But, they weren’t laughing alone.
And he knew he wasn’t dreaming when he woke up in the middle of the night with Tao’s head planted firmly in the middle of his back. Baekhyun was safely asleep in the other room. And that made him smile as he went back to sleep.
But the best part was when Baekhyun elbowed in between them somewhere around dawn. Tao’s whine was quieted when he nuzzled against Baekhyun’s hair, and Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun from the same general pillow vicinity. He knew that smile. There was no denying how happy it was, like Baekhyun felt he’d found his place. With his head moved forward, Chanyeol managed to lean his forehead into Baekhyun’s without bruising them both, and it was comfort and connection both.
With his arm over both of them, Chanyeol knew it was a start. It was a really good start.
***
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun/Tao
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, domestic, ot3
Summary: Chanyeol and Baekhyun are long-time bffs who live together. One day Baekhyun brings home a stray and lost Tao who has nowhere to go. Chanyeol thinks nothing of it at first, but then Tao attaches himself to Baekhyun and suddenly Chanyeol is competing for attention.
***
It was the whispers that got to him. Having a friend drop by for a weekend or a week here and there wasn’t unusual. Baekhyun had a habit of bringing home strays of all kinds of varieties, getting them on their feet, and on their way. Chanyeol had come to terms with that even before they’d decided to move in together. And it wasn’t like he disliked people, so having another face laughing at the table was nice, just like having time just for the two of them was nice. It was definitely better than alone.
But then, the whispers. Tao had been one of Baekhyun’s strays, an animated guy who became Baekhyun’s second shadow. Tao helped Baekhyun with chores, and Baekhyun fetched him snacks, and more or less babied him. Chanyeol appreciated the help, since he wasn’t really excited by chores, and Tao was staying with them for basically free besides the cost of some food. Sometimes Chanyeol would wander out from his room to find Tao at Baekhyun’s side, mouth against his ear as Baekhyun laughed and smacked at Tao’s shoulder. It looked easy, intimate.
Too much like flirting. Every time Tao grinned at Baekhyun, Chanyeol felt his jaw clench. Every time Baekhyun let Tao drape over his shoulder or nape with his head in Baekhyun’s lap, it made him angry. Some he took out on his poor pillow. Some arguing at the walls when he was alone.
“Tao is not actually a cat. He doesn’t need to be touched all hours of the day.”
Worst, it reminded him of how he was with Baekhyun, pulling Baekhyun against his chest and tickle fights that ended in wrestling, and Baekhyun daring Chanyeol to move his legs off of Chanyeol’s lap. That was how they were, how they’d been for years, and suddenly there was no room in Baekhyun’s lap for him, and Baekhyun didn’t have as much need for his.
“Are we going to eat tonight, or what?” Chanyeol asked, frowning at where Baekhyun was leaning against Tao’s shoulder and reading.
Baekhyun frowned back at him, at his tone.
“I figured we would,” Baekhyun shot back. “Unless you think we shouldn’t.”
When Tao glared at him over Baekhyun’s head, Chanyeol couldn’t even feel his guilt at the way he spoke to Baekhyun any more.
***
It was so easy, too easy, to take it out on Baekhyun. When he pushed at Baekhyun, Baekhyun pushed back. When he had a worry, Baekhyun listened. But he couldn’t tell his worry about Baekhyun to Baekhyun. Or, he guessed he could’ve but Baekhyun would’ve said he was being a stupid jerk, and he wasn’t ready to hear anything of the sort. Griping at Tao just got him frowns and drama, and Baekhyun glaring at him because Tao was their guest and he should stop being so immature.
So the jokes got more cutting, and Baekhyun’s retorts took on an edge Chanyeol didn’t like, which set him off even more. And it had never been like that, not before Tao was there.
He was sick of sharing a bathroom with Tao, sick of waiting for Tao to be done. When he barged in on Tao getting ready for bed, he ignored the outraged squawk, and just started brushing his teeth.
“You shouldn’t take so long,” he griped, sticking his toothbrush back in his mouth and taking out his frustration on his tooth enamel.
“Maybe you should go, then,” Tao said, arms crossed. He probably would’ve stalked out if Chanyeol hadn’t been blocking his exit.
“I’m sure you’d like me to just move out,” Chanyeol said, swiping at his mouth. Like he’d just leave Baekhyun there because of some kid. It wasn’t like Tao was that much younger than them, and he was tall and had an interesting style, and generally cute manners. And that pissed Chanyeol off more than anything.
“Maybe Baekhyun would be happier then,” Tao shot back, jamming his toothbrush into its holder.
“What did you say?” Chanyeol asked, rounding on him, though Tao never moved an inch.
“You keep- Why are you being like this! Baekhyun said you make him laugh and you’re just being mean to him!”
“You’ve been here for weeks!” Chanyeol shouted back, before Tao’s words trickled in. Mean to Baekhyun, not to Tao. “You don’t know anything!”
“Yes, I do!” Tao nearly shrieked, his hand pushing against Chanyeol’s chest.
“Stop it!”
Chanyeol flinched, leaning into the counter as Baekhyun pressed by him.
“One second I’m sleeping and the next you’re trying to wake up the whole building screaming at each other?”
“We-“ Chanyeol started. He shut his mouth at the look Baekhyun leveled at him, pinched and severe.
The apology Chanyeol leveled was directed in general toward both of them, and he could still hear them murmuring together when he shut his door. That hurt maybe more than anything.
***
Chanyeol was of a mind that birthdays were supposed to be exciting, something to look forward to. Something happy, at least, to lessen the sting that another year had passed and another year was added on. Things really didn’t keep looking up after the ascent from single to double digits. And Baekhyun was good at that, good at Chanyeol. One year, they’d gone out and sang until they’d barely been able to whisper, weaving home tired and satisfied. Baekhyun’s thoughts about Chanyeol’s birthday included Chanyeol butting out, and he didn’t generally figure out what was planned until the day of. Going him from work that day, though, his birthday that he should’ve been happy about, just made him wary. Worried, really, if he was honest. He didn’t know if Baekhyun remembered, if he was angry enough to do anything about it. He didn’t think Baekhyun was that petty, but things hadn’t exactly been happiness and joy.
So maybe he stomped a bit, getting into the apartment. Maybe he let his bag drop, glaring at absolutely nothing as he slumped toward the kitchen for a drink.
Tao was gaping up at him from his knees, a scattering of what looked like noodles, rice, vegetables, all over the kitchen floor in front of him. And he scrambled to his feet when Chanyeol didn’t move. Of course Tao would be there. He couldn’t even have a pity party in peace.
“You’re not supposed to be home yet!”
Chanyeol blinked, though he wasn’t surprised that Tao wished he’d just go away even on his own birthday. “Sorry?”
But when he looked up, tears were already spilling down Tao’s cheeks as he stared at the mess on the floor.
“You can just order in,” Chanyeol said, a bit wary. The reaction seemed a bit much even if the food was really expensive.
“B-Baekhyun trusted me,” Tao gasped. “Now your birthday is ruined!”
Chanyeol didn’t move out of the doorway to let Tao past, even when Tao was pushing at him and trying to edge around him. He finally got Tao to stop by grabbing a fistful of Tao’s shirt and holding him still as Tao determinedly looked to the side.
“This was for me?”
“Baekhyun doesn’t like us fighting,” Tao whispered, as though that was a secret. “So he though I could- He was going to come home early and help me but he couldn’t.”
“But you don’t even like me.”
“I wanted to! And Baekhyun does. I thought…”
He wasn’t sure if Tao flashed back to their shouting match, and Tao accusing him of being mean to Tao, not even mentioning the little ways he’d been aggressive or cutting, or making Tao feel unwelcome.
What had been patently obvious reached out and smacked him upside the head, even as Tao was trying to pry Chanyeol’s fingers out of his shirt.
“You really care about him,” Chanyeol said.
Though Tao’s tears had stopped, his eyes were still wide when he met Chanyeol’s.
“He took me in. He looked after me, and helped me get a job, and-“ Tao waved his arm in the air.
“Yeah, he does that,” Chanyeol said.
“I told Baekhyun I should go, but he wanted us to try and be friends.”
They looked at the mess on the floor. An hour ago, he’d have been tempted to do a little jig hearing Tao had considered leaving. In the very bottom of his goals, that would’ve been one of his hopes Then he’d have everything back to normal again. He wouldn’t be angry any more, if Tao was gone. But it wasn’t Tao’s fault, and it wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault. It was his fault. Maybe Tao’s a little too, but he was in charge of himself.
“New plan,” Chanyeol said, letting go of Tao’s shirt. “I’ll help you clean this up, and then we order something in. Then nothing’s ruined. Well, except your effort. But you tried. It looks good?”
Tao laughed a bit, letting his head drop. “Okay.”
“If we left this on the floor and told him we’d gotten into a fistfight, he’d probably believe it.”
“Probably,” Tao agreed. “But then he’d probably push our faces into it until we apologized to each other.”
It was the first real grin they’d shared in a while. It hurt a little. But it felt good more than that.
***
The kitchen was spotless, and Chanyeol had spread out their collection of take out menus. Some were laminated by Baekhyun because he got cranky when papers started getting greasy. Did you eat with the menu, he always wanted to know. Tao was waiting at his elbow, like he was going to give himself a deadly paper cut or something of the like.
“What do you want to eat?”
“It’s your birthday,” Tao said, scandalized.
“Okay. Okay, so you choose the restaurant, I’ll choose the food.”
Tao waited a moment, but he still nodded. Compromise.
After the food was ordered, all they really had to do was wait, and with the nothing else to do, Chanyeol flopped on the couch and felt his spine creak into alignment. Tao was hovering like he wasn’t sure what to do until Chanyeol patted the seat next to him. Though, Tao wasn’t too far away with the arm Chanyeol looped around his neck, pulling him in.
They didn’t really have to talk, all flopped together like that, but it was his birthday so he was going to do what he wanted. He didn’t know the words to apologize, really, so it was what he could do at that moment.
“Favorite thing about Baekhyun?”
Baekhyun was their middle ground.
“When he yawns,” Tao said, chuckling. “He can’t even control it.”
“Oh yeah. And when his smile goes all pointy when he’s about to deliver a smack down.”
“He likes cuddling when he’s tired.”
That was a bit of a shove in the gut, because he certainly hadn’t been cuddling with Baekhyun the last couple of weeks.
“Yeah,” Chanyeol said.
“You should, too. I think he misses…”
His head fell back against Tao’s a little too hard but they didn’t move. He thought about it, and yeah. He missed Baekhyun but it was a missing of his own making.
“Yeah. We should. So. All of us?”
His words were failing him, but Tao was nodding, hair soft against Chanyeol’s face.
Tao actually clutched at him like he was going to let go when the door lock clicked open. Baekhyun’s first look was to the kitchen, which was obviously empty and pristine, and he froze as the door slid shut behind him to see both their faces looking at him.
“Welcome home,” Chanyeol said, and Tao parroted the same thing after him.
“I ruined dinner,” Tao added.
“So we ordered in. It should be here soon.”
Baekhyun looked back at the door like he’d maybe entered the wrong apartment. Then he held up the bakery box in his hand, and offered a grin.
“Happy birthday?”
***
The box turned out to be a cake, which Baekhyun carefully guarded against plundering fingers. The food arrived not long after, though, which meant three sets of knees trying to get under the table. He hadn’t even noticed so much since most times he was pushed back from the table, eating and paying attention only halfway because Tao was there, or pouting in his room or on the couch.
“We need a bigger table,” Chanyeol said, as he fought off Tao’s wandering spoon.
Baekhyun froze very attractively with a hunk of chicken hanging out of one corner of his mouth. “A tawel?”
Which Chanyeol interpreted with ease. “Yeah. More room for food and our legs. I mean, not that you have much- Hey!“
He leaned behind Tao to get out of the range of Baekhyun’s flying fingers.
“It’s my birthday,” Chanyeol pouted.
“That doesn’t give you any rights to insult my height,” Baekhyun sniffed. “Just because…”
“Oh no,” Chanyeol breathed.
Tao’s sputtered laughter stopped the rant, though Tao’s longer legs didn’t get off lightly either. And Baekhyun was grinning, which Chanyeol had to say made him even happier than the promise of cake did. He basked as they sang happy birthday to him, and he had only a half-formed wish in his head as he blew out the candle. Maybe that moment of happiness wouldn’t end. Maybe he could hold onto it a little longer.
Tao was the one who slipped away as they finished their cake, returning with two lumps wrapped in different kinds of wrapping paper. He couldn’t say he was surprised by the gifts so much as he was that one of them seemed to be from Tao. Tao had maybe been trying for a lot longer than Chanyeol could’ve given him credit for.
“Baekhyun’s first,” Tao said.
Chanyeol wasn’t sure if it was because Tao was apprehensive about the present he got or what, but he didn’t argue, pulling Baekhyun’s lumpy package at him.
“Don’t even try and joke about the wrapping,” Baekhyun said, narrowing his eyes as Chanyeol gave him an innocent stare.
“You get a sticker for trying,” Chanyeol said, and got a cuff to the head that had Tao bursting out in laughter.
“You both suck.”
“You picked us,” Chanyeol said, and ripped open his prize.
It turned out to be a new set of Chanyeol’s much-loved and worn headphones, a couple of CDs, and a gift card for a bookstore. It was a lot, and it was all typical Baekhyun.
“You know me best,” Chanyeol said, rattling one of the CD cases as he looked at the other one.
“I’d better. Now Tao’s.”
The packaging was certainly nicer thought he glance he shared with Tao was acknowledgement of that. It was all he could do without Baekhyun growling at him. He didn’t rip it quite as fast, and he didn’t know why. Drawing out the anticipation, the curiosity. It wasn’t a gift from Baekhyun, who didn’t get offended when Chanyeol destroyed the wrapping. But his mouth bowed to see the gift, when it was uncovered. It was the box set of a drama he’d started but never finished. Maybe Baekhyun had cued Tao about it, or maybe Tao had listened to Chanyeol’s rant about it. Whichever, it didn’t matter, and Tao was nearly squirming, hands all balled up as Chanyeol gaped up at him.
“You realize you have to watch this with me, right?”
From Tao’s face, he hadn’t realized it was part of the deal. But he didn’t argue, either.
***
Even with the sound of Tao putting out his bedding in the living room, it felt like home in a way Chanyeol hadn’t realized. He didn’t feel like he was going to jitter out of his skin when he walked back to his room with a glass of water, coming back out to find Baekhyun waiting in the hall for him. For Baekhyun, he had words he had to say. And there was no better time to say them than when he was feeling them the most.
“I wanted to tell you thanks for today, and. I’m sorry.” He didn’t even have to say what for, because he knew Baekhyun knew. “I’ve been a jerk. Realizing that was my gift to myself, I guess.”
When Baekhyun didn’t say anything, he wondered, but it was only a momentary wondering because Baekhyun was stepping up and Chanyeol was holding his arms open. And then it was right, Baekhyun’s arms around his neck, holding Chanyeol close as Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s ribs.
“We all have stupid moments,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol nodded emphatically. Or weeks, but whatever. “I really do want you two to- I think you’ll like him.”
“I think I will,” Chanyeol agreed.
Even if it meant sharing. Even if it meant losing part of his access to Baekhyun that he’d apparently taken for granted.
When Baekhyun whispered “Thank you” to him, Chanyeol’s heart hurt. But it was the first step. Just the first step.
***
Baekhyun being the middle ground was something they kept in mind. Whether it was conspiring together to make sure Baekhyun ate or rested, or wrestling him down between them on the couch so he could suffer with them, it made no difference. Chanyeol half suspected he’d have liked a little less of that, but that was the reason people had to be careful what they wished for. Just leaning his head against Baekhyun’s and crossing one of his ankles over Tao’s made things more comfortable. It was connection. It ticked Tao off a little, and Chanyeol liked that, too. They’d only broken one light wrestling with each other, and it had been in fun, not anger. Sometimes he saw the way Tao smiled at Baekhyun, the way Baekhyun was easy leaning into Tao, and it made him cuddle Tao a little more aggressively the next time. Not that that was hard, because Tao was pretty much a giant house cat, and he didn’t even really get why. His instinct should’ve been to grab onto Baekhyun, but Baekhyun probably would’ve kneed him. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to reassure himself of. The fact that he enjoyed Tao’s company was both a dirty joke by the universe, and kind of nice, especially when Baekhyun hit a busy patch and Chanyeol would’ve gone stir crazy being home alone.
It should’ve been fine, their living arrangement. Tao was paying rent, they had their own schedules. Tao ran around in tiny little shorts, and pressed up against Chanyeol’s side for coffee, and it was a month of just being all together instead of being made.
“I think Baekhyun should more shirts in that red he was wearing today,” Chanyeol said, picking through a box of chocolates that he’d picked up on impulse. Though, given that half of it was gone and he’d been home half an hour, he couldn’t claim he had the only sweet tooth.
“I really like that shirt on him,” Tao agreed.
It wasn’t the sigh of a friend, but the sigh of a man in definite appreciation, with the added undertone of maybe also wanting to take the shirt off him. And Chanyeol knew those feelings all too well.
“Maybe he’d wear it if you asked him on a date?” Chanyeol asked, foot tapping on his opposite calf as he scrolled through his tablet.
“What?” Tao squawked. “No! He’s in love with-“
Chanyeol looked up as Tao hit himself in the face with a pillow.
“In love with? Baekhyun’s in love with someone else?”
“Well.” Tao looked like he wanted to vomit. “Maybe.”
“He’s never said anything to me.”
“I think he just. He wants to. I don’t know,” Tao said, and pressed his lips together.
“But you like him,” Chanyeol pressed.
There was something wiggly to Tao’s shoulders as he kind of nodded, like he didn’t feel like yes was the right answer. Maybe he thought Chanyeol would’ve been made, like Tao was trying to encroach on friend territory. And given his prior behavior, Chanyeol couldn’t have blamed him there.
“You should talk to Baekhyun,” Tao said, firm, after Chanyeol kicked at him. “Because. Don’t you want to take him on a date, too?”
Chanyeol laughed and had no idea why he was laughing. He tried saying no. He tried to make a joke. Tao was still staring at him.
“Why are you being so weird,” Chanyeol grumbled, and threw down his tablet.
***
Even before his knuckles rapped against Baekhyun’s door, Chanyeol knew he’d come to a point where he had to make a choice. He could turn back, or step forward, or keep the status quo. The thought of Baekhyun being in love with someone had a giddy sickness running through him. He flashed through every soul they knew, every business associate Baekhyun had ever mentioned, every coffee provider. He thought of Tao, because it was possibly Baekhyun had just never meant for Tao to know. And for bright, brief moment, he’d even considered himself. But Baekhyun put aside the laundry he’d been folding in preparation for his upcoming business trip, since Chanyeol was looming with all kinds of uncertainty surely screaming out of him.
“I’m confused,” Chanyeol said.
“About what? I know how much confuses you,” Baekhyun teased.
And Chanyeol breathed in. He wanted to know. Needed to know.
“I was talking to Tao, and he said you’re in love with someone? I’m confused, because… You and Tao are so touchy, so I thought you were into him. You haven’t talked about anyone else?”
Baekhyun’s face got progressively more horrified as Chanyeol rattled on, and he pushed himself onto his feet by the time Chanyeol was done, voice small and confused.
“Tao said what?”
“He didn’t say who, but I took it from what he said,” Chanyeol assured, holding up a hand. Tao was hardly the divulger of secrets.
“A month ago you couldn’t even look at him, and now you’re trading secrets about me?”
Chanyeol snorted. “Be careful what you wish for? But seriously. I can’t even be mad, because there's someone I like too, and I haven't told him, and I haven’t told you either.”
It wasn’t at all the way he’d meant to do it, and it wasn’t as though any of it was a secret to himself. But to Baekhyun, it had to have been. Maybe he’d wondered, the way Chanyeol had acted, but if he said anything more, it could only be taken as confirmation.
“So let’s do it right, then,” Baekhyun said, edging closer and gnawing on his lower lip. “On three, we tell each other. Just like always.”
“No matter what?” Chanyeol said.
“Yeah.”
Baekhyun was the one who counted, and Chanyeol’s brows got lower and lower as he drew breath. One. Two. Three.”
“You.”
“You.”
It was an echo. He’d tried to be prepared for almost anything, anything but that, and Baekhyun gaped.
The only thing that differentiated their “Me?” responses was the fact that Chanyeol stuttered.
But Baekhyun and Tao- But they’d been living together for ages, and Baekhyun had never treated him the way he had Tao.
“But-“
“You never said anything!” Chanyeol accused.
“That was why you were so pissy?”
“You were my best friend! I never thought you would-“
Baekhyun hit his chest with a light fist. “That’s not how this was supposed to go, you jerk.”
But Chanyeol still had a question. “How long?”
“Too long to remember,” Baekhyun said, still shaking his head like he was trying to grasp it just like Chanyeol was. “You?”
“You remember Kyungsoo’s birthday party, the one where we accidentally bought too many shots for Joonmyun? That was the first night I realized I really wanted. Everything. You went home with Jongdae, and I wanted to kiss you.”
A couple of years, maybe, and Baekhyun looked like Chanyeol had punched him instead.
“Maybe we’re both jerks,” he said faintly. “How did it... And still?”
“Maybe there was supposed to be a right time?” Chanyeol ventured.
“And it took Tao to…” Baekhyun’s smile faded, as though realizing something important.
Right, Tao. Tao, the one Baekhyun looked at in fondness, and cuddled, and leaned on.
It felt like the words were forced from him, but he said them. “You like him, don’t you? He thinks you were in love with me, but…”
“I like him,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol did his best to keep his face blank. “I just. I didn’t expect to have a chance with either of you.”
“You like him more than me?”
Baekhyun shook his head, wrapping his fingers around Chanyeol’s wrist. Even painful, he wanted it sorted out. He wasn’t going to run away to brood until he knew how much he had to brood over.
“No. More like. In addition to? I never stopped…feeling like I do about you. He’s just. Tao.”
Chanyeol nodded, swallowing hard. “Then. What do we do?”
“That’s not a choice I want to have to make,” Baekhyun said, the little laugh after it so bitter. “But it’s not fair to either of you if I don’t.”
“I think he really likes you a lot. Not that he could help it,” Chanyeol said, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. “Either way I understand.”
“That’s a lie,” Baekhyun said, voice mild even though they were both utterly tense.
“Well. I didn’t say I’d be happy about it.” Chanyeol glanced back to where he knew Tao was in the living room. “I’d understand.”
He’d already been terrible about Baekhyun with Tao before. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stay there, seeing them being not just affectionate, but also a true couple. That, he wasn’t sure he could stand to face especially knowing that had he only spoken up, he might have had a shot. Or, he and Baekhyun could have been dating and Tao might have come between then. Who knew. It’d at least, take a lot more time to process than the ten minutes he’d had.
“We can talk about it after you get back?” Chanyeol offered, squeezing Baekhyun’s hand. He felt like a real adult saying that, like a few days were nothing. Pressing it, backing Baekhyun into a snap decision, that wasn’t going to help. If he chose wrong, one way or the other, it could be horrible.
“We haven’t changed. This hasn’t changed,” Baekhyun said, and smiled when Chanyeol nodded.
“Do you need help getting this stuff in your suitcase?”
“No, I got it. I’m just going down my list. Shoo. Tao’s probably cursing you for taking so long so you can get back to the TV.”
If Baekhyun wanted to think that, that was fine. But Chanyeol knew better, especially when he went out and Tao was staring at him like he was expecting to be kicked.
“Did he tell you?” Tao almost whispered.
Chanyeol nodded. Apparently Tao had known. Maybe Baekhyun had told him. Maybe Tao had just seen what they’d been too busy denying. But when pressed, Tao wouldn’t say any more, just pressing against Chanyeol’s shoulder and watching the TV with unnatural intensity. It was another fifteen minutes, and Baekhyun emerged.
“Packing is done,” Baekhyun said, standing at the arm of the couch.
Chanyeol met Tao’s eyes and they moved apart, the barest distance required so that Baekhyun could sit between them. They would both have that time to have contact with Baekhyun before he left. It’d only be three days. Just three days.
“You’ll have to remember to clean-“
“We know,” they chorused, and got twin smacks from Baekhyun. They were prepared, but not really prepared at all.
***
It wasn’t strange being alone, just the two of them, because when Baekhyun worked late, they were alone anyway. He knew Tao’s schedule, what he liked to eat, when he liked to shower. Sometimes he even let Tao badger him into showering with him, which was a fiasco that was usually fun, arguing over the shampoo and who got more of the spray. Naked bodies were hardly an issue, and he wasn’t hardly impolite. That didn’t mean he didn’t see, because Tao wasn’t exactly fond of clothes at times, preferring to get dressed out of the steam. He’d seen all Tao had to offer for quite some time, so it wasn’t like that had anything to do with…anything.
There were weird moments of clarity, like handing Tao the toothpaste because he’d just finished using it, or snagging the juice container to put it away. They clicked, so used to each other that he knew which side of the couch Tao preferred and that tickling him was an effective way to get him up after a nap - as long as he avoided Tao’s arms.
It was instinct that carried him, because trying to make an equation out of all the little elements he’d piled up was creating squares instead of solutions. It didn’t make sense, because if Tao-
And Tao jumped when Chanyeol turned off the TV in the middle of an episode, alarmed when Chanyeol twisted on the couch to face him.
“What?” Tao asked, looking him up and down like something had fallen out of the sky and smacked him on the head.
“Did you want Baekhyun to tell me?” Chanyeol asked. Because that was the part he didn’t get. If Tao was in love with Baekhyun, and knew there was the possibility of Baekhyun liking him back, then he had no reason. No one sabotaged themselves on purpose.
“Yeah,” Tao sighed.
“Why?”
“Doesn’t he deserve to be happy?”
Chanyeol’s mouth dropped open. “Wow, way to make me feel like a selfish jerk.”
“Well, and because if he chose you or whatever happened, then I wouldn’t need to hope any more.”
“Oh yeah.”
That had them in silence for a long minute, but not necessarily in stillness. Tao leaned into him until he was pressed against Chanyeol’s side.
“If he chose you before I knew I even had a shot, that would’ve sucked,” Chanyeol said, pulling Tao closer. “But…”
Making him choose at all seemed cruel, too. Well, no. It seemed normal, but there was a nagging worry in the back of his head wondering if it didn’t work out one way or the other, if Baekhyun would’ve been happier if he’d just made the other decision. That was life, the branches of decisions that led them down different paths.
Baekhyun’s face when he looked at Tao was sometimes so soft. Chanyeol had started to understand over the weeks they’d gotten closer. But Tao’s eyes were steady even if his voice wasn’t quite.
“He wouldn’t have picked me over you,” Tao said, like he was trying to reassure Chanyeol somehow, or maybe himself.
Chanyeol watched Tao speak, the way he formed the words, the way the words almost felt like they were giving up in a sense. The fact that he wanted to argue back that he had no guaranteed place, that Baekhyun hadn’t exactly leapt into his arms and kicked Tao out the door, stuck in his throat. Maybe Chanyeol had loved Baekhyun longer, but that didn’t necessarily make him more. More in Baekhyun’s feelings, more right, more likely, anything. He felt like he should’ve been cocky and bold, like just believing he’d be the first choice would make it happen. It was the wanting of it, the lingering disbelief that he could have it, that kept him back, even as Tao’s hand cupped Chanyeol’s neck.
Maybe he should’ve been angry. At the very least, they were the same, he and Tao. Right there, right in front of him was Tao, and he felt nothing like that.
And they were caught together, as he stared at Tao’s lips.
It took the briefest of movements, Tao’s arm sliding behind his neck, his shirt catching against Chanyeol’s. But the first touch of Tao’s lips sent tingles over his skin, hitching Tao closer and kissing him again. He could feel the texture of Tao’s earrings against his fingers, the softness of his hair at his nape. Tao whimpered against him, their thighs sliding together. But it was all over when Chanyeol caught Tao’s lower lip between his teeth. With a gasp, Tao turned, breathing damply against Chanyeol’s neck.
He found Tao cute. He found Tao attractive. He found Tao-
For a moment he wondered if it wasn’t some kind of retaliation, if his interest in Tao came from the fact that he knew Baekhyun was interested. But he couldn’t find it. All he knew was that he felt strangely warm, the way that Tao was clutching at him.
“We can’t,” Tao said, and it had Chanyeol nodding, his hand stroking up Tao’s back.
“Yeah.”
But Tao didn’t stay like that, pressed up against him. He pulled back, mouth parted like he was ready to speak, and then he paused until Chanyeol wanted to shake the thought right out of his head.
“What?”
“What if-“ And Tao’s eyes were wide. “What if he didn’t have to choose?”
***
Chanyeol wasn’t sure if they were more excited, or apprehensive about baekhyun coming back. There were so many possibilities about the whole thing, that it seemed like it could really work for them. But without Baekhyun being on board, all they had were some fledging understandings and feelings they really hadn’t anticipated, and those were just too easily mangled if Baekhyun just outright refused.
Tao tried to cheer him, but it was a bit like not knowing what was going to happen at all. He had no way of knowing even knowing that Baekhyun had feelings for both of them that ran that deep. Inviting disaster wasn’t exactly Chanyeol’s middle name. But after the text Baekhyun sent that he was almost there, neither of them sat down. He straightened and re-straightened Tao’s shirt, until Tao was fussing with him instead.
The’d been restless all morning, since Tao had woken him up with a kick. That had been an accident, letting Tao sleep next to him, but Tao’d fallen asleep while they’d been talking, planning. Chanyeol had been too soft to kick him out. That didn’t explain the second night, but he wasn’t counting.
Tao’s arms wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist just as the door opened and Baekhyun started through it.
“Welcome home!” Chanyeol said, throwing his arms out wide, and Tao’s chin rested on his shoulder as he parroted the words.
Baekhyun just sort of…stopped. Shoes still on, bag in his hand, he just stared at them.
“Thanks?” Baekhyun said, and blinked at them.
“Did you have a good trip? Was it loud?” Tao wanted to know.
“Yeah. It was fine? I’m just glad to not be in motion any more.”
“Are you tired? Do you want to go out to eat? We had a place in mind,” Chanyeol said, glancing at Tao who was nodding with enthusiasm.
“Yeah! It really looks good. Do you want to?”
Baekhyun still looked a little wary, like he’d wandered into something he wasn’t sure how to process.
“I’m- Yeah, dinner out is fine? I just need to put my suitcase away.” And Baekhyun paused. “What…”
Baekhyun shook his head instead, continuing back to his room. That was when they sprung into action, dashing back and nearly elbowing each other as Tao detoured into the bathroom and Chanyeol into his room so they could change. It took only a couple minutes, buttoning up the nice shirts they’d chosen and going back to lean against the couch and wait. They were squabbling over Chanyeol fixing Tao’s hair as Baekhyun came back out.
“Ready?” Chanyeol asked, bright, like Tao wasn’t trying to muss his own hair up.
“Did we do a good job keeping it clean in here?” Tao asked, sly.
“Yeah,” Baekhyun said. “You guys did good. Though, where’s your bed?”
“Oh, I’ve been sleeping with Chanyeol,” Tao said, like it had no double meanings at all.
Chanyeol coughed into his fist, and grabbed Baekhyun’s arm with his free hand.
“Let’s get going.”
“What did I say?” Tao wanted to know as they started out.
Chanyeol wasn’t going to answer, and it didn’t seem like Baekhyun even knew what to think.
***
But once they’d gotten settled and ordered their food, Chanyeol was mostly waiting for Baekhyun to drop out of pretending mode. It wasn’t like Chanyeol could blame him, because things were changing a lot, and not just for him. Only Tao seemed to be immune, picking at the appetizer they’d chosen and bumping against Chanyeol’s shoulder until Chanyeol wanted to grab him. It wasn’t like they were just going to drop their idea on him in the middle of a drink, as funny as the mental image was. Getting sprayed with water wasn’t on his plan for the night.
“So, you’re sharing a room now,” Baekhyun said.
Tao nodded. “His bed is nice. He’s only kicked me once, and he makes sure I get up in the morning.”
A feat in itself, though Chanyeol tried to be wise by holding his tongue.
“Is this some kind of weird thing where you keep tabs on each other so neither of you gets any extra time with me?” Baekhyun asked, squinting at both of them.
It was kind of an ingenious thought, and he was really glad that wasn’t it, because trying to keep tabs of Tao- No. He couldn’t.
“Kind of,” Chanyeol said. And it was a pretty terrible segue, but he leaped on it. “But not really? We talked, and figured… Why not date both of us?”
Baekhyun’s hand flopped onto the table. “What?”
“That’s not right,” Tao scolded, and Baekhyun almost looked relieved until Tao said, “Chanyeol would date me, too.”
“You…” Baekhyun stopped, regrouped. “Wait. Do you mean you actually slept with him while I was gone?”
Chanyeol said no while Tao agreed, and Chanyeol smacked Tao’s arm.
“In my bed, but we didn’t fool around.”
“He kisses nice, though,” Tao said, and Chanyeol beamed at him.
“You’re cute when you’re not being annoying.”
Tao’s retort was cut off by Baekhyun’s high pitched little sound.
“I feel like my life just flashed in front of my eyes. You hated each other a month ago? You kissed him? This is a date?”
“I didn’t hate him,” Chanyeol sulked.
“I just hated he was being a jerk because he was jealous,” Tao said. “But you can think about it! Right?”
Chanyeol nodded and added in his agreement.
Baekhyun laughed. “Think about it, while you two are sharing a bed and kissing each other.”
Tao actually huffed at him. “It’s not like we’ll decide we don’t need you.”
“I went into an alternate universe,” Baekhyun said.
Chanyeol didn’t know if he was supposed to be scared or not, that Baekhyun wasn’t jumping for joy at the prospect of having two boyfriends. In his head, Baekhyun kissing Tao was a pretty thing, and kissing Baekhyun himself even prettier, so he wanted as much as he could get there. And Tao showed some real promise there. Still, they couldn’t exactly talk about having a threesome on the way home, so it was easy for Baekhyun to sit between them and Tao to chatter about the drama they’d watched while Baekhyun was away.
“Did you fall down at hit your head?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol very seriously as they rode up the elevator to their floor.
“If I did, I hope it was a good thing,” Chanyeol countered.
“This is some kind of elaborate joke. Is there going to be some kind of surprise party when we get back? I don’t think it’s my birthday,” Baekhyun muttered.
And Tao was laughing silently as Chanyeol hauled him along.
“Not helping,” Chanyeol hissed.
“I know but-“
He managed to keep Tao quiet until they actually got into the apartment, and when Baekhyun rounded on them, Tao was holding onto Chanyeol’s arm so hard that it actually hurt.
“Are you serious?”
“We know it’s complicated. But it could be worth it! We already know we can live together! And things.”
“Can we have a kiss?” Tao blurted, totally derailing Chanyeol’s attempt to be persuasive. “Since it was a date. Chanyeol gets to first. We agreed.”
“And do I get a say in that?” Baekhyun asked, sounding oddly calm.
“Well, yeah. It’s not like you have to. We kind of sprung it on you,” Chanyeol said, and hissed as Tao tried stepping on his foot to stop him from talking. “It’s a lot to think about.”
But Baekhyun was shaking his head, amused, incredulous, Chanyeol wasn’t sure which. “You two first. I want to see- Maybe this’ll wake me up.”
When Chanyeol looked to Tao, he was shrugging. It wasn’t like they hadn’t before. And if it made it more real to Baekhyun, that was what mattered. Maybe it’d make it happen, or keep them from it. Though Tao was impatient, tugging Chanyeol’s jacket and pressing their lips together.
Chanyeol could nearly feel the prayer behind the kiss, like it was something they were doing for luck. Tao’s eyes met his first, fingers slowly loosening in the cloth and letting Chanyeol go. There was some kind of pleased grin there that Chanyeol didn’t really get until he looked over, and there was Baekhyun still trying to pick up his jaw.
“You mean it,” Baekhyun said.
“Well, yeah! I mean-”
But then Chanyeol was too busy being pulled down to Baekhyun’s level. Too busy inhaling and closing his eyes just before Baekhyun kissed him. His brain was too busy fritzing on that thought, and he wanted it back, wanted to feel more and catalogue Baekhyun’s mouth, and Baekhyun was holding him back.
“He said you were first, not second, too,” Baekhyun teased.
“Guh?”
Tao was so much less off guard that he’d been, stepping up and nearly bending Baekhyun back in his enthusiasm.
“Okay!” Chanyeol yelped, and Baekhyun laughed, flushing as Tao giggled with him.
“Now all together,” Tao said, breathless, like he’d run all the way up.
“How does that even work?”
But no skepticism stopped them, Chanyeol holding Tao’s jaw still so he could lean in and get their cheeks together, and Baekhyun’s arms around both their necks. It was awkward and they were laughing. But, they weren’t laughing alone.
And he knew he wasn’t dreaming when he woke up in the middle of the night with Tao’s head planted firmly in the middle of his back. Baekhyun was safely asleep in the other room. And that made him smile as he went back to sleep.
But the best part was when Baekhyun elbowed in between them somewhere around dawn. Tao’s whine was quieted when he nuzzled against Baekhyun’s hair, and Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun from the same general pillow vicinity. He knew that smile. There was no denying how happy it was, like Baekhyun felt he’d found his place. With his head moved forward, Chanyeol managed to lean his forehead into Baekhyun’s without bruising them both, and it was comfort and connection both.
With his arm over both of them, Chanyeol knew it was a start. It was a really good start.
***