Title: Concrescence
Pairing: Xiumin/girl!Kai
Rating: NC-17
Genre: romance
Warnings: smut
Word count: 24,535
Summary: Jungah has always known that she was going to marry the Obelus Group heir but she never actually thought she would fall in love with him.
Author's Notes: This was nearly titled "The Husband Acquisition"
Written for the
Girl!Exo fic exchange. ***
“I do,” Jungah said, her eyes on Minseok’s.
It felt like there was an exhale in the room. Maybe not everyone expected her to run away, but considering Jungah had had that absurd little fantasy that had almost had her giggling as she and her father had waited outside of the grand doors, she couldn’t have blamed them. If they’d known how little the chance had been of her running, maybe they wouldn’t have worried. Jungah’s parents were counting on her, had groomed her for what they likely considered to be the most important job of her life: being an important man’s wife.
And that was why Jungah had woken up that morning and been helped into a grand, white dress, why she’d had a moment of deer-in-the-headlights as the doors opened on hundreds of guests, and all eyes, including her groom’s, were on her. Jungah remembered that place she had gone to in her head when she had performed in dance recitals, when she was not Jungah, but a conduit. Those people who turned to stared didn’t want to see Jungah, they were there to see Minseok and Jungah, Minseok’s Bride. So that was what she became, as she walked to him, as she married him. And after, hooking her arm with Minseok’s, in her mind almost becoming some kind of a princess as they proceeded back down the aisle.
A wedding was a performance, but she couldn’t let herself think too much on what came after, with all the people they left, and certainly not after when there was only going to be two of them. It was the two of them then, in the staging room before the reception. Maybe it had been planned that way, a moment for the newly wedded couple to get their bearings, to reflect on what they’d just accomplished. Two families joined. Two fortunes, of a sense, though Jungah in that way was certainly marrying up.
But there in the silent room, what Jungah hadn’t expected was for Minseok to keep so close. She tried to focus on his eyes, and instead focused on the black, crisp bow tie, wanting to tweak it if only for the excuse to straighten it up again. She’d had years to imagine him as her husband, but it was still a little startling to not have it be an abstract, an eventuality. It was real. He looked almost a little giddy, a little relieved, and Jungah wondered how much she echoed that.
“I almost couldn’t breathe when the doors opened and I saw you,” Minseok said, his thumb brushing against her jaw, making her dangling earring jangle. She breathed in, waiting for words to say, thanks, something to demure, anything. All she could do was stare at him, realizing that in some way he’d found her stunning.
Jungah tipped her head when Minseok made to kiss her, their second kiss after their vows, and their third, and fourth as Minseok gently cupped her neck. She lost track of time, her fingers tracking the soft fabric of his tuxedo, and they both startled as the door flew open and the wedding planner came in like a whirlwind and staff parted them. The makeup artist touched up her face for pictures that they were going to have to pose for next, and Jungah glanced over to where Minseok was standing, discussing something with the wedding planner and his mother who had appeared at his side.
Jungah was almost embarrassed to have been caught there, kissing Minseok- kissing her husband. There was nothing embarrassing about it, and it wasn’t something she could focus on when she had to take pictures with half of the universe, until her cheeks were hurting and she was blissfully given some juice to sip before another round of people were herded through. It was a circus that ended in a catered dinner, sitting at Minseok’s side in a different dress than she’d been married in. The food, that she didn’t really remember. It was food, edible. There was entertainment, during it, something the mothers had overseen and that Jungah hadn’t even thought to be worried about until the slideshow started and the first picture was of Jungah as a baby with her mouth smeared with some unidentifiable food.
Jungah shot Minseok an indignant look when he both laughed and cooed, but got her revenge because there was Minseok, maybe two in nothing but an oversized shirt and shaving cream and she grinned wickedly as he covered his face. It was a history, she was gathering, of their lives on their way to where they were right there. There were milestones, separately. Birthdays, graduations, the changing of years, right up to adulthood. And then the screen changed, to an older picture than the last one they’d seen, one of Minseok a little sulky in a suit and a tiny girl in a frilly dress clinging to his shirt. Jungah had been three in that picture, and Minseok a few years older.
The first meeting, it was entitled, and there were definite awws from the audience. There was another, when Jungah had been around ten, though she could see the “why do I have to stand next to a boy?” written all over her face. The next was a party for Minseok’s high school graduation, where they stood together looking more like distant cousins being coached to smile by their mothers. The next, Jungah’s college graduation. She was almost gleaming with pride in the picture, holding flowers that she only vaguely remembered Minseok bringing.
They’d both known and understood before that point that they would be married.
Even if Jungah felt like she had always known that she would marry Minseok, it was a different thing to see and really understand just how long they had known of each other. She had a wry moment imagining that as soon as her mother knew she had had a girl, of calling Minseok’s mother and formalizing the betrothal then, even if she knew that it had been years later.
Everyone burst out laughing at the ridiculous faces they were making at each other in their engagement party photo. Minseok reached for her hand, and Jungah remembered his joke just before the picture had been taken. They’d been laughing together, in the midst of their awkwardness. Even if they’d had years of pictures, how little she’d known him when they’d been celebrating being engaged.
And not a whole lot had changed as she squeezed Minseok’s hand, married to him.
But with the pictures, the speeches, the embarrassment over, there was cake. The cake she took from Minseok’s fingers, nearly sinking her teeth into the pad of his thumb as he laughed at her, his eyes dancing, and took his own piece gently from her fingers. That had been good, sweet and tart, and for a moment it almost felt like a birthday celebration, something wild and exciting.
“Good cake,” Minseok said, teasing her.
“Good, because that was the only layer I got to choose,” Jungah laughed. Close like that, for a moment it almost looked like he wanted to kiss her, and Jungah almost leaned in before they were ushered to their next display.
They danced, the first dance of their married life to someone crooning a song about love and promises. Jungah rested her head on Minseok’s shoulder and let him lead her, feeling the fatigue in her back and her neck. He’d given her the wedding fit for a princess, the wedding his family had wanted for him. It hadn’t even occurred to her during the planning of it that Minseok might have wanted something different.
“Would you have changed anything?” she asked, lifting her head a little so she could speak easily and close. And then she half regretted it, wondering if maybe his choice of bride was what he would’ve changed.
“People will be talking about this for months,” Minseok said. “But I think it would have been just as nice with just us and our families.”
Minseok rested his head against hers, and she held him just a little closer. It was nice to share that feeling with him, at least, after everything else.
***
It wasn’t as though they were living out some scene from the past, where Jungah was the nervous, possibly unwilling bride, and Minseok the conquering hero. Jungah was hardly in the dark about things, and even if most of her practical experience had arrived by the product of her own explorations, she at least knew how her body worked and that if Minseok was even the slightest bit conscientious that their wedding night could be a night of pleasure - and any number of nights afterward. Even if she realized it was intended as more of a merger of families than it was something intended for her and Minseok to enjoy, she knew also it hadn’t been set up as a thing for them to hate. Happiness was the option, the hope, not the guarantee. That was what she’d been telling herself, the whole lead-up to the wedding itself, and it wasn’t any less true when she sat up a little straighter at the sound of the hotel’s outer suite door opening.
It was Minseok’s voice, saying goodbye to whoever had walked him up, and then silence and the padding of feet across the carpet. She heard a door close, and the running of water told her it was the bathroom outside of the master suite. Even if logic told her she had little to fear, it was another thing for the apprehension to totally leave her. The lights were still up, not all of them, mostly the ones by the bed and the dim one overhead near where she was sitting on a shallow settee. She’d been there fifteen minutes at most, having showered, her wedding dress hung away and a confection of silk edged with lace put on, with a silken wrap over that. She’d taken down the complicated wedding arrangement of her hair, twisting it up instead in a clip so that it was out of its way, until she wanted it otherwise.
The first few minutes sitting there in the dim light, she’d imagined what would happen, how he would touch her, how he’d kiss - if the kisses previous had meant anything. And when that had made her ache a bit, she’d moved on to thumbing through a magazine, mostly looking at the pictures of various food items and recipes than actually reading the words in between. But she was still, and almost felt like she had the upper hand, when Minseok came into the room. His face was damp, freshly washed, his shirt open at the collar and his jacket and tie gone. No, if there had ever been a doubt that she’d found him appealing, it wasn’t then.
“Minty fresh?” Jungah asked, smiling when he spotted her.
Minseok laughed, closing the door behind him to their room in the suite. It wasn’t strictly necessary, since it was only just them in the suite itself, but it was another layer of intimacy, and another bump in her pulse.
“Your text that all was ready was passed along,” Minseok said.
“And they made sure you were delivered safely, I heard,” Jungah joked.
“Some traditions can’t be broken, even if I wouldn’t have gone anywhere else.”
When Minseok held out his hand, she took it, though he didn’t tug her up, instead settling on the settee beside her and keeping a hold on her as she turned toward him. It put them close, the length of their thighs together, and his free arm stretching out behind her back.
“I know I heard every plan for today, and I nodded and said okay, but it was still more of a circus than I was expecting,” Minseok said. Though he winced a bit, as though insulting their wedding day maybe wasn’t the best thing to lead off with. “Are you as tired as I am?”
“My cheek muscles haven’t been this sore ever,” Jungah bemoaned, and Minseok laughed, letting go of her hand to rub against her cheek for a moment. “I don’t know if circus covers it. It was like being in a school play, but always on stage.”
Minseok made a noise of agreement, stretching out his neck a little and taxing his probably tired face muscles a little more to smile at her.
And Jungah realized, in even that small conversation, she’d forgotten to be anxious, and remembering they weren’t just there to have a chat and trade stories had her inhaling a bit more sharply than she’d intended. That he could put her at ease, that was good. Everything else, she didn’t know.
“There’s no rush,” Minseok told her, watching her tense up. “As long as we make our flight in the morning, the time between is ours.”
That was nice, too, letting her know that he wasn’t rushing her. Though if he was tired, and she knew she was tired, she had no intention of spending the night napping and holding hands. Waiting was the one thing she knew she didn’t want.
“This is one of the perks,” Jungah told him, both needing to believe it, and wanting him to grin, just like he did.
“It is. And I feel like I should know this already, but our parents were such go-betweens. I know our parents want that grandchild, but do we need to be careful? Did you want to wait before we make it possible a baby could happen?”
It had to be a hard question for him to ask. Especially, as he said, with the pressure of their parents. If anyone knew they’d deliberately waited, there would be a search for reasons and someone to blame. Jungah knew that would fall on her, eventually. But that wasn’t what drove her decision. That was want alone, a curling kind of warmth in the lead-up to the wedding, of knowing what was waiting ahead of her. She wanted everything.
“We don’t have to be careful. I’ll be happy anticipating the possibility no matter when it happens,” she told him, and the smile on his face was not relief, but maybe something like happiness that they were on the same page, something that made her smile, too as he leaned in closer.
“Me too. I feel like I’ve never been more ready. May I?” he asked, his hand hovering at the ornate hair clip, and she nodded, holding still so he could squeeze the clasp and free it. He tossed the clip onto the side table, using his fingers to smooth her hair down over her shoulder. “I missed it being free like this today. But still, when those doors opened, I had to pinch myself that you were walking toward me to marry me!”
“Oh no, flattery,” Jungah laughed, but she was flattered all the same, feeling her face heating a bit as he clucked his tongue to verify his sincerity. She knew the dress had made an impact, because she’d been complimented on it dozens of times.
“I feel like I’m going to have to thank you for taking it down, so I didn’t have to fumble,” Minseok said, still playing with her hair. “How many pins were in it?”
“Not as many as I thought, but still a lot,” Jungah said, covering her face for a moment. “When they were putting them in, I didn’t think they’d have enough room for more, and I thought I had them all and still found another when I was brushing it.”
“It was pretty,” Minseok said, stroking along her hair again. “I like it like this, though. And the curls you had once? They were just spilling out of some…”
He made a motion to indicate some kind of hairstyle he didn’t have a word for and she laughed, leaning into his stroking hand and admiring his face there in the light. If he was waiting for an invitation, that seemed to be it, leaning in closer and cupping her jaw as he kissed her. The kiss, it wasn’t sweet, but neither was it rough, like he was enjoying her lips against his, humming as she kissed him back, told him that she wanted more from the way that she kissed him.
The hand that he rested, inert, against her bare knee, made her shiver, and it only had him moving closer, rubbing his lips against hers. But he stilled, as she pulled his hand higher, until she could press it against the loose tie of her robe. That was its own invitation, moving from the first tentative touches, and beginning to wade in.
It wasn’t as though the cloth did much to hide, but the lace under it did even less, with the ribbon that tied under her breasts and sheened fall below it. She wriggled the robe down behind her, and knew that he’d seen her in a lot of things, but nothing like that. Minseok had known her as a child, as a gangling teenager.
She wondered how many times he’d thought of her as a woman.
“Jungah,” Minseok murmured, and she knew he did then. The filmy cloth against her skin, the slight chill of the air, it made the warmth of him even better, his kisses, the touches against her side, around her shoulders as she leaned into him.
Jungah’s eyes rolled back as Minseok kissed down her neck, reaching with one hand to fumble with his shirt button, and when that failed, with two. She got to the last above his belt and he was groaning, yanking up the fabric for her to undo the last buttons. It felt like a milestone, except that he had on an undershirt, too, but that, all Jungah had to do was watch as Minseok grunted, yanking the cloth over his head and throwing it. Jungah didn’t even see where it landed, her hands against his chest, and laughing as he drew her right back in, kissing her like he couldn’t get enough, stroking her through the cloth. Her side, her back, sliding down her leg until there wasn’t anything left but his skin and hers. And he almost seemed to pause, sliding up under the cloth, giving her time to slow him down, but she didn’t want to. She wanted him to pull her into his lap and have something to rock against. She ached at the sounds he made, the sureness of his hands, his mouth on hers.
Minseok’s hand slid up over her thigh, up over her hip, and she heard his inhale as he nuzzled her cheek, processing what he found. What he didn’t find.
“Seemed like, ah, unnecessary complication,” Jungah said. There was going to be enough awkward moments without having to wrestle with underwear. She supposed she could’ve gotten some with ties, but it seemed more straightforward.
Minseok’s moan as he kissed her, squeezed against her skin made it seem like he didn’t mind. The way he was stroking against her, it was driving her wild, making her whimper as she slipped her hand up into his hair. He was still kissing her when he quietly cursed, maneuvering himself, standing up and tugging her with him until his arms were around her and she could feel how hard he was against her belly.
“I should’ve thought that through,” Minseok groaned, lowering his head to her shoulder. “Bed. Is the bed okay?”
Kissing him was her answer, and he walked her back toward it, half a dozen steps, a few more, but she didn’t worry with his hands guiding her. His hand squeezed around hers as he traced the contour of one of her breasts with the other, and the lace was only obstruction then. And he thought so, too, tugging at the ribbon and parting the cloth, and it dropped, the sound of it shivering through her.
“Amazing,” he murmured, and his hands were warm against her ribs as he tugged her close, her nipples rubbing against the skin of his chest as he kissed her. But his hands dropped, her hips, her thighs, curving enough as he stroked that Jungah gasped as he skimmed against the wet of her.
“Okay, okay,” Minseok said, yanking back his hands and undoing his belt, his pants. He helped her onto the bed, and her eyes glanced both to and away the skin he bared, seeing how ready he was, caught between cool sheets and the heat of his body as he pressed against her side, kissed her, and eventually, covered her.
There was a confidence to the kisses he pressed against her skin that didn’t feel just like eagerness, like he’d honed that somewhere, not the first time he’d kissed along a woman’s skin. His parents probably hadn’t cared if he dated, discreetly, as long as he was prepared to do his duty. Jungah had been too pragmatic to date, even without her parents telling her she shouldn’t. She’d had a few crushes, but when she’d understood they’d marry, she didn’t think there had been any reason to introduce that unhappiness into her life - the thought of marrying someone when she was in love with someone else. She hadn’t felt incomplete because of it.
Though, she couldn’t even be glad that one of them knew what they were doing, because maybe she hadn’t slept around but she was hardly ignorant.
But she pushed it away, that wondering, not because she didn’t care, but because it felt good and she wanted that.
Minseok’s lips sealed around her nipple and she moaned for him, her knees lifting, hips seeking, and there, solid, warm, he rubbed down against her and her head arched back as they rocked together.
“Yes,” Minseok rumbled, and Jungah could only echo him, clutching against his hair, lifting against him until he was sliding slick against her and moaning for her.
“Please,” she begged, because it was too much, she wanted too much, needed to know, needed more. And he was so tense, so careful, nodding, pressing against her, letting her breathe, and the ridiculous realization of oh, she was married, settled through her. She wasn’t just having a fling, but needing a husband. And Minseok, her eyes widened as she took in his face. His lips damp from kissing her, his hair mussed from her fingers. She wanted to kiss him again, she wanted-
“You’re bigger than my fingers,” Jungah half babbled, her body involuntarily tight around him, muscles rippling inside.
Minseok moaned after a moment, his hips rocking against hers. “Did you ever think of me, when you…?”
Jungah nodded, clutching at his shoulder blades. “I thought about tonight.”
Minseok kissed her, and she sighed for him, kissing him back, encouraging him as their hips nudged together. He kissed her until he couldn’t move and kiss at the same time, around the same time when the stretch of him wasn’t so sharp, and her body tightened for him, not in defense, but want. Her hand slipped between them, rubbing as his hips rolled, as he moaned for her, enjoyed her. Pleasure popped through her in sudden little bursts, and Jungah shuddered, his eyes on her as she came, as she breathed in and tried to hold onto it as long as she could. That was it, that was the feeling she’d been wanting.
“Minseok,” Jungah almost whimpered, and she opened her eyes to see the tightness on Minseok’s face.
It took not much longer before she experienced a man coming for her for the first time, the nudging of his hips, the strain of his body, and she knew what it felt to hear him say her name. Kind of like art, messy, sweaty, desperate art. But the throbbing that started when Minseok moving stopped, that was half pleasant, half not, and she held back most of the wince as he pulled out of her.
They’d gotten so far by doing, and suddenly there was silence, and after a moment of that, of breathing, Minseok chuckling, ducking his head.
“I feel like I should say something, but nothing sounds right.”
“Nice marrying you?” Jungah suggested, and Minseok laughed, brushing her face with his fingers as he climbed out of bed.
“You win with that one. I feel like a drink. Do you want something?”
“Is there juice?”
Jungah didn’t get up, tugging at the sheet a little but just watching as Minseok explored. He came back with two bottles, pouring them into fancy wine glasses and offering her one before squeezing onto the bed beside her.
“Happy wedding night,” Minseok said, and their glasses clinked together.
Minseok kissed her, slipping his arm behind her neck and drinking deep. Jungah wondered if he knew why she stayed as she was. Not because she was sore, or because she was lazy. Her only admonition from her mother was to stay in bed, maximize her chance of a wedding night baby. She wasn’t there only to be his wife, after all, and her cheeks stayed flushed at the thought. Though she had to get up eventually, after their drinks were gone, after Minseok regaled her with all the things that had gone wrong on his end before the ceremony, almost making her sputter apple juice over both of them.
But it made her grin, a little, after they’d turned out the lights, when his hand covered hers. He couldn’t help himself.
“Was it okay?”
“It was…great,” Jungah said, and it was true. Of all the multitudes of ways it could’ve gone wrong, it had been exactly that. Awkward, intense. Maybe, when they got more comfortable, they could talk more, give more guidance.
The wedding hadn’t just been for show. She was married. It had been close and not close to what she imagined, and what she felt about that, she had no idea. But her body was there before her mind, and she was more than ready to sleep, falling deeper to the sound of Minseok’s even breaths.
***
Jungah was still sleepy when she dressed in her pre-arranged traveling clothes, leaving behind a bag of things to be sent ahead to Minseok’s- their home. All she took was her shoulder bag, and her packed suitcase, not that she ever had to touch it. Someone took it for her from the car at the airport, and that was that. It was checked, gone, and all she had to do was follow Minseok through security and be guided into their first class seats. She couldn’t even imagine alcohol that early in the morning, so she opted for juice, laughing a little as she tapped her cup with Minseok’s.
“I always worry a little, right up to getting onto the plane,” Minseok said. “Now, no more worrying for the next week.”
“No more worrying,” Jungah agreed.
Minseok settled in with a newspaper after the flight took off, though Jungah opted to nap, waking momentarily to a blanket being spread over her legs before lapsing back into a doze. Minseok’s hand on her arm woke her for their lunch, though she got up first, stretching, visiting the bathroom and inspecting her face in the mirror. She didn’t look different. There was no “married” brand standing out on her skin, with the exception of her ring. And aside from the occasional lingering twinges when she moved just the right way, she was no worse for the wear from their wedding night. It’d fade, she figured, hopefully before the next time. Whenever that next time was going to be.
But after lunch, there was only time for a movie before they were starting their descent, and Jungah watched, amazed, as water gave way to patches of land, islands, almost looking like they would land in the water for a moment before it was obvious that their wheels had hit something solid. Maybe it was the rush of landing, but that was when the giddiness started. They were there. It was paradise, to be sure, but it was theirs to explore, their adventure. It was something different than the ordinary, than places she’d been a dozen times.
Minseok grinned, seeing her excitement, taking her hand and disembarking with her together. Their bags were wheeled out, personally, and all they had to do was get into a car and relax, and ooh and ahh over the scenery, the water, the trees. All she wanted to do was run out onto one of those beaches and sink her toes into the sand, but she couldn’t, not until they were checked in at their resort, until they were guided to their private little bungalow that overlooked the ocean. Jungah thought she held her composure well, until they were alone, and she almost shimmied, squeezing Minseok tight as they looked over their view, over the stairs that led down to the beach.
“It’s gorgeous!” she exulted, and didn’t care if Minseok thought she was completely ridiculous. “Did you want to go for a walk and explore?”
Minseok wasn’t looking at the water, she realized, but at her. And she startled, when she realized that, grinning a bit hesitantly, a bit hopefully, as she waited for Minseok’s answer.
“Let’s go explore,” he agreed, and he caught her before she could dance away, kissing her soundly.
That made her a little giddy too, as she chose a pair of shorts and fluttering top, spraying herself down liberally in the bathroom with sunscreen and almost forgetting to clip back her hair under her hat to keep it from going wild in the warm wind. Minseok was ready in shorts and sandals by the time she emerged, and he reached for her hand again as they closed up their room behind them.
“Oh, did you have sunscreen?” Jungah asked.
Minseok, in his own hat, gave her a thumbs-up. “All set,” he said.
It was still gorgeous up close, the sand, the water. There were smells of the ocean, and coolness against their legs kept it from being too warm with the last remnants of the sun. Jungah felt she might’ve been content to stay there until well after the sun set, if it hadn’t been for the wafting scent of food, and the way that Minseok’s head turned because of it. He was ten feet in front of her, up to his thighs in the water, and Jungah could almost hear his stomach growl from where she was.
“I think we’ve worked enough for our dinner,” Jungah called, and she just barely escaped the splashing as Minseok made his way to her, sliding his arm around her shoulders and walking with her toward that enticing smell.
“I wonder what’s to eat?” Minseok wondered. And he almost made her squeal, pretending to nip at her neck.
But dinner had just been what she needed, flagging from the travel and not enough sleep. But they had a tiny table for two, more food than they could finish, and they were dressed no less than anyone else around them.
“What do you think so far?” Minseok asked, both of them full and sluggish as they let themselves back into their home away from home.
“I don’t suppose you’d want to set up your office here?”
Minseok laughed, carefully locking the door behind him but leaving the windows wide so they could still admire the view.
“When they wanted me there in person, that’d be quite a commute,” he said, and the hug was easy to walk into. Minseok smelled like smoke, like the ocean, and he hummed, holding her just a little closer.
“It’ll be a dream, then.”
“I saw there’s a waterfall shower in there,” he said, and Jungah nodded, having admired that earlier. “Want to try it with me?”
“I’d like that,” Jungah murmured, and Minseok kissed her, kissed her until he chased her into the bathroom first. She turned on the water, set it to her liking as she undressed, and had just stepped into it before he made his way into the bathroom, too. The water was nothing like a covering, nothing like the half dark had been as Minseok slid his hands along the wet of her hips and kissed against her shoulder.
The shower had been like paradise, but so had closing the drapes of their room, and leaving their robes lying over a chair. Jungah fell asleep, stretched out under the sheet, to the sound of Minseok typing on his laptop keyboard, after asking her if the light bothered her. It did, a little, but she was too tired to notice, exhausted by the first day of her honeymoon.
It had been more than she had expected.
***
The honeymoon almost felt like a trial that they had never been granted before the wedding. Endless stretches of time to spend together, no distractions besides the little fires that Minseok had to put out for work occasionally on his phone or his laptop. He tried to make those as unobtrusive as possible but he stayed up a couple of nights, and had to sit there with part of a bagel hanging out of his mouth as he furiously typed away with his thumbs. That had been amusing.
They did well when they had something to do, little mini trips on the island to plan, discussing what they wanted to eat, where they wanted to walk, whether Jungah was worried that Minseok had a coffee addiction. He’d only drank a pot full, all black and steaming, and Jungah hadn’t had the necessary means to doctor it to her liking. But watching him enjoy it had been good enough. There was a never-ending supply of fresh juices, sparkling water, and it suited the view off of their pristine deck.
It was different than vacationing with her friends, because there were more shared experiences with her friends, comparisons she could make, an ease and familiarity. Jungah knew a lot about Minseok’s life, but most of it had been hearsay, and each time she told a story, if the silence seemed to lapse too awkwardly during a meal or when they were sitting in the sand, she had a momentary flash of panic wondering if he’d heard it already.
It wasn’t like she was auditioning for a job. In the position of wife, she’d already signed her acceptance. But she didn’t want him to find her inane, or too chatty, or whatever it was that he might dislike. Minseok had laughed at her jokes, seemed engaged when she talked to him and not like he was frozen in some vacation hell. He seemed to enjoy her in bed.
Her aspiration to have him like her for more than that, at the very least, seemed not too big a thing to want. There’d been a reason she’d liked being around him, as a child, so she was still going to continue remembering why that was and fit those pieces together with the man she was getting to know.
And even as she was admiring how he’d managed to keep the interference of his job to a minimum, it crept right up.
Jungah knew there would be times that she would be dragged along by Minseok to outings for purposes of the company, but on their honeymoon hadn’t been one she’d been expected. But Jungah just listened, smoothing sunscreen onto her skin as Minseok had gotten very nearly exasperated on the phone with his parents.
“Did you happen to know he was here when you picked this island?” Minseok asked, rocking back onto his heels, and rolling his eyes in her direction, looking apologetic even before he hung up.
“All play and no work is apparently not allowed,” Minseok said. So, the beach was out, then. For then, anyway.
It was an investor, quite an important one from the sound of it. He was in the main hotel, a good five minute walk from their little getaway. At least they didn’t have to worry about being seen on the porch or the beach kissing, which had been half what she’d been worried about before Minseok had told her where the man was staying. Her first “official” outing, and the wedding didn’t count, and if she’d been off that day, she could’ve chalked it up to nerves, or exhaustion. Minseok, as heir to the Obelus Group, a giant of electronics and accessories, had been a catch most mothers dreamed of, but his fate and hers had been planned well in advance.
Jungah had touched up her makeup, her hair, putting on clothes a little more concealing before at least enjoying a very beautiful walk on their way. It was something they could get over with, and the man had been expecting them. He was pleasant, at least, older than them by a couple of decades and interested in how their trip was going and promising he wouldn’t keep them long. Wink, nudge. That had Jungah looking away, admiring the view out the wide, open doors that led to the beach and letting Minseok be in his element as the men made plans to meet up back in Seoul. Jungah had her little spiel prepared if she was asked or acknowledged, prepared to say what she had planned to do when they left to go back, to settle in in their home, get to know the area.
But instead, the man looked at her and smiled.
“What do you think? Did I make a good decision investing in the company?”
It took her aback a moment, but as prepared as she had been to talk about being Minseok’s wife, she was ready for that.
“I’m sure more people would like to be in your position,” Jungah said. “Each quarter is stronger, and performing better year over year. And Minseok has turned the cell phone accessories division into a huge asset. As long as they keep on that path…?”
The man laughed, and Jungah had to fix her smile a little because she wasn’t sure exactly what kind of a laugh that was even as Minseok squeezed a bit on her fingers. But she didn’t dare to look at Minseok when her cheeks were already threatening to heat.
“Well said,” the man told her, and looked to Minseok. “Watch out, or your wife will have too many people clamoring to get a piece of your company.”
Jungah let Minseok finish up, standing and listening, smiling, giving her best wishes before they left. She stepped down onto the sand first, standing and waiting as they talked a moment more and Minseok stepped down to join her. Jungah offered her hand and Minseok took it, their hands swinging lightly as they made their way down the path. They were well out of sight when Minseok seemed to give in, laughing and putting his arm around her shoulder instead.
“You charmed him to death,” Minseok said, jostling her as they almost danced down the bridge toward where they were staying. “Did my parents give you some kind of a score card or something?”
As though their parents were the only reason Jungah would have been motivated to be interested.
“I bet they wish they’d have thought of that,” Jungah said, a bit wry. “But I knew who I was marrying. I read articles as they popped up on the news, and what happens to the company doesn’t just affect you. I might not know all the internal details, but I wanted to know enough so that if someone is talking to me, I don’t have to tell them to talk to you. And I can at least know something if you’re the one talking to me.”
“You mean you won’t be bored to tears if I want to talk about the company?” Minseok asked, leaning against the railing that led to their bungalow and Jungah snorted softly.
“You mean you’d ever want to talk about boring things?”
“That’s a good point,” Minseok murmured, and he cupped her face as he kissed her. “Amazing.”
Maybe hearing her talk about his company turned him on, or maybe the fact that she’d managed to not embarrass him, or maybe even impressed him a little? It made her want to fist pump and she was dancing inside, because yes, she wasn’t just a pretty face, not just a body for Minseok to join with and pass on his genes. She was his wife, and she wasn’t ever going to be perfect or know everything, but she had pride of her own, and no desire to have the spheres of their lives be completely separate. She wasn’t a “wife” like a trophy that he could put in his gorgeous condo and visit every so often.
And his want of her, the way he kissed her had interest sparking, and she let him pull her in, pressing up against him, humming.
“Want to go in?” he asked.
Jungah did, and she let Minseok lead her back.
***
Jet lag was maybe the devil, but when Jungah woke to Minseok’s alarm, she thought she’d found another one. Minseok groaned and Jungah though maybe, maybe they should’ve had one extra day between the honeymoon and a normal schedule, but they had at least gotten to sleep at a normal time, as much as that had helped.
“I’m up, I’m up. You don’t have to get up,” Minseok murmured, patting in the direction of her hip as he leveraged himself out of bed and staggered naked toward the bathroom and the clothes he’d left there to wear. Jungah contemplated that for a moment, relaxing on her back as she considering just staying there as Minseok had offered. And, she realized she just didn’t really want to, not that first morning anyway.
Jungah belted her robe around her, using one hand to smooth down her hair as she almost took a wrong turn toward the kitchen. She could smell what was obviously hot, fresh coffee and it drew her like a magnet, knowing Minseok would be not far behind. She poured two cups out of the timed machine, a half of one for her, and a full one for Minseok. Just in time, too, as he padded into the kitchen with a groan.
“How do you take it?” Jungah teased, knowing that at least from the honeymoon.
“Right now, as much as possible,” Minseok said, lifting the mug and inhaling, and then drinking as deep as the hot liquid would let him. And then, and only then, did he pull Jungah in. It amused her a little. Coffee first, wife second. But his lips were warm from it, and his kiss definitely had a coffee tint to it.
“Thanks for sharing,” Jungah told him. “What are you eating this morning?”
Minseok hummed. “Cereal, I think. I know there’s some still around. Don’t worry, you don’t have to worry about feeding me in the mornings. If I don’t get something here, there’s usually something in the office.”
He was giving her an out. And it was nice, she guessed, to not be at the beck and call of his stomach.
“It might be nice to treat you every once in a while, though,” she said, and Minseok’s smile was immediate.
“I’d like that. And that means I can treat you, too,” he said, kissing her again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you get up.”
“It’s all right. We both have things to do today.”
He had a few cereals that she liked, too, so she listened to him be just a bit full of sighs about going back to work after almost a week away, and all the things he had on his to-do list that he was clearly already starting to work on in his head. He’d had a beach, and a wife to bed, so going back to sit at a desk would be quite a bit different.
But they stared at each other when Minseok was ready to go, not really sure. When he made a move as though to hug her, Jungah moved right into it, smoothing down his suit jacket and watching him fuss into his shoes.
“I’ll text you if I’m going to be late getting back,” Minseok said. “I’d say we could meet for lunch, but it’s going to be ridiculous because of my first day back. Another day, probably.”
“That’s fine,” Jungah said. And he might be glad for the time away from her, anyway.
The door closing behind Minseok and the last smile he’d sent her wasn’t so much final as it was disorienting. Though, in a way she guessed she was glad. They’d had half a day in the condo, though most of that had been resting or in bed, and it was a residence that didn’t feel like home, yet. It gave her a chance to dress, since she knew she had work to do. Maybe someone could’ve unpacked for her, but she wanted to discover how she wanted her things to be, not just to have them put how someone else thought they should be.
There was an empty dresser, a closet, waiting for her to unpack her boxes of things. There was a desk and office chair, both that she’d picked out when she’d gone shopping with Minseok’s mother. All of her clothes were washed and laundered, and most of them were new so even those felt a little unfamiliar. It gave her something to do, hanging, folding, arranging drawers. She had some jewelry sent previously that she was sure had gone already into the safe that she didn’t know the combination to, but others she set up in a pretty organizer by her dressing table. There was a tree for earrings that she set up. Clothes from their trip went into her labeled hamper, and her cosmetics were put away and organized. The bathroom was stocked with lotions, shampoo, conditioner, everything she’d listed as her favorite types. Minseok, or probably someone close to him, had stocked up to make sure his home was set up for the both of them.
There was a cleaning company, once a week most weeks or as needed, Minseok had mentioned. The condo had no doubt been cleaned while they were away. But Jungah didn’t feel like waiting, flattening boxes and getting over halfway done before doing some more exploring. There were doors she hadn’t been into. One ended up being a powder room, a little guest bathroom. Beside the office was a totally empty room, with neutral walls. There wasn’t a hint of furniture in it at all.
A nursery, Jungah realized, her skin prickling as she squeezed the door handle. She walked to the tall window and looked out at the buildings below them, the streets. She couldn’t hear anything, but with the window opened she could have. She pictured herself standing there, baby in arms, or sitting in a chair there, rocking and listening to the night sounds. It was set so that a child could not open the window and fall, as were all the windows in the condo that she’d seen. Being a mother, being part of a couple, that was something she’d grown up expecting. But it was something she had begun to want more, even with the uncertainty of a marriage arranged for her. They could decorate that space together, hear the first precious laughs. Minseok also would be someone she would know so much better.
Jungah left that room, so empty that it was yawning with possibility and expectations that she wasn’t ready to confront. Instead, she curled on the soft-clothed couch with yogurt, and acquainted herself with the overly large TV and the four remotes that were arranged on the table near it.
And then her mother called and wanted to meet, and it made Jungah fly to put on nicer clothes, to do her hair so she didn’t look like she’d given up on her first day back. She stared behind herself into the pretty, still impersonal condo, and let herself out. A couple of hours out with her mother, her sisters, gave her a chance to explore the shops and side streets around the building. Those would feel familiar eventually, too.
She got a text, while they were relaxing in the shade with drinks, and at her sister’s questioning look, Jungah smiled.
“It’s Minseok. He texted a restaurant he wants to know if I want to eat at tonight.”
They oohed and ahhed at her, and Jungah had to laugh and shake her head. It looked like a nice restaurant, so all she had to do was anticipate.
***
It wasn’t as though marriage was just an unending slumber party, but Jungah liked those times, a faint glow from outside, comfortable in the dark as they murmured about their day to come. Sometimes worries, sometimes happy little things that had happened that just came to mind as they talked. There were no distractions then, no phones, no food, just the sound of Minseok’s voice, of sleeping, and waking together, of occasional silences that seemed less awkward as days passed.
Minseok’s alarm sounded, but he smacked the snooze button and seemed infinitely unwilling to move himself out of their bed. He just wound himself around her and breathed against her neck for a moment before stretching, flopped as though dead and pouting.
“What are your plans for today?” Minseok asked, quiet, his words almost like a touch. Thinking of it almost had Jungah groaning, too.
“Your mother is going to show me everything she knows about planning a fete or dinner party, so I will be prepared to not shame you,” Jungah said.
“Oh no. I won’t see you for a week,” Minseok said, a hand to his heart. “I mean, some of it is probably interesting, but is planning every detail of a party really what you’re interested in?”
When she winced a little, he laughed.
“See, my mom loves it, and she’ll probably be glad to make you love it a little, too. But that’s the kind of person she is. She wants to plan everything down to how many strawberries will top the cake, and which way each hair on every guest’s head can rest. If she keeps you all day and you want to tear your hair out, don’t worry. That’s why they made party planners.”
Jungah was just the tiniest bit surprised that Minseok was so cavalier about it. She’d expected him to think that whatever way his mother thought it was best was the way he’d want it to be.
“You wouldn’t mind that?”
“I’d rather have you be happy and enjoying the party than stressed out because you’d had to micromanage everything. Even my mom has someone running things in the background so she can socialize. Do whatever part of it suits you, or none of it. Getting it arranged with a planner is its own kind of job.”
He leaned in, a goodbye kiss in the way he was tensed, and he cupped one of her breasts as he kissed her, almost drawing a sound from her as the side of his thumb rubbed against her nipple. And the way he looked at her after, she thought he was tempted, too, but he groaned and pushed himself up out of bed. Half hard, she saw, before he’d wrapped himself in his robe.
“Just remind her if she gets going too late that I want my wife back before tonight,” he said.
The little throb between her legs as she covered herself and watched him walk away was proof that she agreed. More than that, maybe it wasn’t such a big deal to him, but she was still glowing a little because of him thinking of her feelings, what would make her happy if they were entertaining. It made her curl into the warmth he’d left behind, content to doze a while longer.
***
Part 1 -
Part 2 -
Part 3 ***