(Untitled)

[phaseal]

You know, I have seriously considered switching to a new Order all together. I can't be in Berlin anymore. Not with a General like that. I said that I would fight for her but I just can't do it. I can't.

But if I leave then I won't get to see my brother or Dragomir everyday anymore. I'll miss them both. I ... I don't want to leave either them, even

Comments

[snowdrifts]

Oh, Emilie, sweetheart..

Do what you think would be best. You'll always have the chance to see them again - during and even after the war is over. But just think about it, okay? You'll figure something out. You'll figure what to do.

I have faith in you ♥

[phaseal]

I've been thinking about it for awhile now. Ever since I was asked to do the stupid spying stuff. I just ... it feels so wrong to be betraying my brother and everyone else like that.

My own Order probably doesn't even trust me anyway. So why should I stay in a place like that? I wouldn't even be surprised if they're already figuring out ways to kill me.

But I feel bad for them if they ever do think of doing that. I'll fight for my life. I ... I know what I can do with my powers now. I could kill someone if I wanted to and if it meant defending myself, I'd kill someone.

[phaseal]

It sounds like a really long time, though, and being gone that long from you and brother...I don't know. But.

Mm. I don't want anything more happening in Berlin. It's seen too much already and I still feel bad for what happened to Noelle. It probably isn't, but I still feel like it might be my fault somehow.

It'll be kind of weird having to sleep alone though. Got really used to sleeping on you.

[phaseal]

I didn't really know her but she seemed like a really smart girl. But I don't even know what I believe - I don't really agree with either Order but all I know is that I have to live and I have a reason for doing so and that reason is what makes me strong.

But you gotta live too, okay? I won't ever forgive you if anything bad happens to you. I mean it.

And of course I'll be

[durableness]

You weren't raised to be such a confused fool, Emilie. While I may be unaware of your situation come IC-wise, and I really wish that I could be applied for so I could whip both you and your brother into shape, I know what you are going through here and it kills me to see you at such a crossroad.

While you may have your father's name you are still a den Adelle.

You're a strong woman. You're my daughter, after all, and all den Adelle women are strong. Don't think about that "what if"s in life. They will only hold you back and make you waver in your decisions.

Don't make me smack you again, even if that does seem to be a rather effective way to get some sense into you.

[phaseal]

...I won't make you smack me again. Your smacks really hurt. You bruised my cheek for awhile last time.

And I am trying to be strong. I want to be more like you, mama. You've seen a lot in your life and have been through a lot; you're a very active person when it comes to anything dealing with the Order and you really do know how to fix things.

I really aspire to be like you. I'll try. I'll figure out what to do..

[durableness]

Good ♥ Because hitting you was something I hadn't wanted to do, but it was something that was needed.

And you honestly don't want to be like me, Emilie. You are fine the way you are; while you need to grow up a little...just be yourself. You're strong as you are.