(no subject)
Dinner last night was a bowl of roasted squash, and bedtime snack was rice cakes.
I had a root beer with some whiskey in it at the show.
Husband didn't come to bed until 4am last night. He slept all day, so it wasn't surprising. I just couldn't believe his lack of respect for my sleep schedule. He got into bed, reeking of pot, and coughing up a storm, and processes to wheeze for half an hour until he finally gave up and slept downstairs. I asked him if he knew what time it was, and if he had taken any cough syrup, to try to get him to realize how inconsiderate he was being, but none of that sunk in. I asked him not to smoke in the bedroom though, and he was okay with that. Minor victories.
I tried to visualize us happy together as I was falling asleep. I couldn't even remember what that looked like. Ended up having a fantasy about an ex that felt more real/possible (and that's a loooong shot, which is saying a lot about how I feel about my marriage right now)
Breakfast: the last of the oatmeal bake, and a fried egg. I managed to get the hubs to eat one piece of it, but the rest went into me. He did eat some of the peanut soup yesterday, but everything else in his stomach was coffee and cinnamon toast crunch. He bought a 4L of milk on Wednesday and he's almost finished it, mostly just by eating shitty cereal. It's no wonder he's constantly sick- his body is starved for nutrients and he lives on sugar and fat and salt. I want to leave him in the woods and have him try to live off real food for a month and see if it makes a difference. The idea of paleo diets is gross and weird to me, but he's the kind of person I could see it helping. Everything he eats is processed. Anyway, he's gross. I'm trying to get away from that. This is helping. Even just being accountable to myself in an online journal is better than nothing.