cross my heart (and hope to die) [nc-17] jared/jensen
Title: cross my heart (and hope to die)
Author: enablelove
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 1804
Tables: spn_30snapshots Theme 04: Lover’s Rock - 10. past
Cotton Candy Bingo square - making up
Summary: AU. Jensen lays himself bare. In every sense of the word ;)
Disclaimer: These gorgeous boys aren’t mine, no matter how much I wish they were. They belong to themselves and each other and this isn’t true, probably.
A/N: The finale of my ’one more night’ series. This series of fics stemmed from listening to ‘One More Night’ by Maroon 5 over and over again haha. It’s been an incredible journey, thank you!
The ride home in the cab is agonizing, there’s no other word for it. It leaves too much time for Jensen to think.
They finally reach Jared’s place, one Jensen’s seen only a handful of times, and Jared leads them up the stone walk, unlocking the door and holding out his hand before Jensen can enter. Oh right, the dogs.
Barking and petting and grumbling and puppy kisses commence and Jensen looks down fondly at Jared roughhousing with his dogs. God, he loves this man. The thought stabs at his heart and he feels the smile on his face tilt down into a frown. What the fuck has he gotten himself into?
Jared finishes and tugs at Jensen’s hand, leading him upstairs toward the bedroom. They’re inside and Jared’s on him in a flash, pulling off Jensen’s clothes, throwing them somewhere, and yanking at his own all the while kissing Jensen ferociously, like Jensen’s going to run away. And even if Jensen wanted to, he can’t. Not from Jared’s pleased growls as skin finally touches skin, or from Jared’s luminous eyes, or from the hands that feel like they’re everywhere.
Jensen kisses back just as hard, trying to put all his emotions into the kisses; all of his frustration and love and lust.
“Bed,” Jared demands, voice raw with desire and Jensen hastens to obey. They tumble onto Jared’s California King and Jared crawls on top of Jensen, every inch of his body blanketing him. He slowly rocks his hips, teasing their cocks. Jensen’s hard again, has been since Jared started kissing him and Jared’s there too.
Jared continues kissing him, mouthing down at Jensen’s neck every now and again to visit the bite marks he left minutes earlier. Has it only been minutes? Jensen can feel Jared reaching for the drawer on his bedside table where Jensen knows he keeps the supplies. A shiver runs through him at knowing what’s to come.
Pulling away, Jared pops open the cap of the tube of KY and squeezes some onto his fingers. The sight shouldn’t be so sexy, but he knows where those fingers are going to go and how good it’s going to feel. He snaps the cap back and tosses it on to the table, like they’ll need it again in a bit. Another slow shudder flows through Jensen at that.
Jared spreads Jensen’s knees and thighs by squeezing himself in between them and makes himself comfortable, elbows knocking into Jensen a little. Jensen tries to relax as Jared slowly runs his slick fingers around Jensen’s rim, not pressing fully inside. Moaning, Jensen tries to push back, but Jared holds one arm against Jensen’s belly, pinning him down.
“Don’t move, Jen, or I’ll just go even slower,” Jared promises.
Whining, Jensen stills and settles back, letting Jared have his way. Jared teases him for what seems like hours, slowly inserting a finger before pulling it back out and then just rubbing his fingers over Jensen’s fluttering hole. He then puts two inside, stretching Jensen, but pulls them out too quickly, not even letting Jensen get used to the intrusion and cups his balls, rolling them gently in the palm of his hands. Jensen’s about to go out of his mind, until finally Jared gets three fingers in and strokes that spot just enough for Jensen to get panting but not enough for him to come.
“Fuck, Jared, I’m ready. C’mon, baby, need your cock. Want you in me. Need you in me now. Please, Jared.” Jensen’s babbling and begging blindly, want and need coursing through him.
“Gonna get you there, Jensen,” Jared says huskily, finally pulling out his fingers. He grabs the tube again and squeezes a little more lube out, rubbing it lightly over his cock.
He positions himself and leans over, not thrusting inside yet.
“I need you to know that I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone else but you since you said goodbye. I couldn’t even think of anyone else. Want to be inside you bare, Jen. Want you to feel my come marking you up inside. Want to feel you clenching me so tightly. I just want,” Jared breathes, voice dark with suggestion.
“Fuck. Yes. Please.” Jensen moans, tilting up so that the head of Jared’s cock pushes inside.
Both of them gasp loudly and Jared wipes his fingers on the bedspread before letting one hand drop to Jensen’s waist, and carding the other through Jensen’s hair.
“Gonna make it so good for you, baby,” Jared says and pushes all the way inside.
Jensen lets out a shout from being too full too fast, but he wills his body to relax, welcoming Jared inside. His hand moves to Jared’s ass, and he squeezes, letting him know he’s good.
Jared starts with shallow thrusts, working until he can get the angle that makes Jensen see bursts of light behind his eyes and then pulling out and slamming all the way back in, honing at that one point again and again. Jared is a fucking master.
Neither of them last long after that, breathing hotly into each other’s mouths, not even enough brainpower to kiss.
Jared’s hand moves to Jensen’s dick, and he grips it tightly, stroking it to match the rhythm of his own cock pushing in and out of Jensen. They come within seconds of each other. Jensen can feel Jared’s come leaking out of his ass around Jared’s dick, and as gross as it’s supposed to be, Jensen likes it. His own come is all over their sweat soaked stomachs.
Not pulling out, Jared collapses on top of Jensen, body going completely boneless from exhaustion. Jensen trails fingertips down the line of Jared’s sweaty back, a mindless movement. He closes his eyes against the sudden rise of wetness. He’s going to miss this. He pushes those thoughts away and decides to man up. Jensen’s going to lay it all on the table and Jared’s going to decide where they go from here.
“Jay, we need to talk,” Jensen says soft and hesitant. He doesn’t really want to have this talk, but they have to. Jared groans and sits up, pulling out of Jensen slowly. The sensitivity makes both of them wince at the action.
“Yeah, I know. Can we just shower first?” Jared asks wearily.
Jensen nods and they go into the shower, rubbing each other down without any of the usual teasing and flirting their showers together have. Jared pulls some sweats for Jensen to wear and Jensen feels like he’s drowning in the extra material, but it’s nice and comfortable and smells like Jared, so no way is he refusing the solace.
They go downstairs to Jared’s kitchen and Jared puts on a pot of coffee, pulling out two mugs - matching Texas ones. The same one Jensen’s used the few times he was over. He swallows against the emotion in his throat and sits at the table. Jared pours them both their cups and adds a spoonful of cream and sugar, just how Jensen likes it, and sets it in front of Jensen before sitting down himself.
“So,” Jensen starts.
“So,” Jared echoes. God, why do they have to talk?
“I can’t do this anymore. I shouldn’t have started anything that first night again, because we’re right back where we started. I love you,” Jensen ignores Jared’s sharp inhalation of breath at that. He’s on a roll and laying himself bare. He’s pleading his case one last time. “All I want is to start over and leave the past where it was. I want you, Jared. I want only you. I want to come home to you, I want to wake up to you, I want to hold hands with you in the park and play with your dogs and make you breakfast when you’re on your runs. I want to meet your family and mock your hair styling products endlessly and I want to make you feel better when you’re down. Fuck, Jared, you have me so twisted up inside with how much I want more than just sex with you and I can’t want that on my own. I need a relationship. I’m ready to settle down and I want that with you.”
Jensen says all this in a rush, not meeting Jared’s eyes, but instead staring into his coffee cup.
“I…,” Jared begins and Jensen hold his breath, afraid of what Jared’s going to say. Jared pauses and Jensen looks up, daring to meet his eyes. Jared’s eyes are wide with shock, but there seems to be a hint of a smile on his face. Hope bubbles up, but Jensen squashes it down, afraid of being too optimistic.
“I want that, too,” Jared says quietly. “I love you, so much that it fucking scares me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve never had someone make me so crazy with lust and want and need. I don’t see you and I feel like my day’s not complete. But, Jensen, I can’t.”
Jensen feels the breath rush out of him and he thinks he can actually hear the cracks of his heart. Even after all of that, Jared’s not willing to try?
Jared looks at him and rushes to complete the thought, getting out of his chair and kneeling in front of Jensen.
“I mean, I don’t think I can do this right, but fuck if we don’t try. I can’t promise you this is going to be easy, Jensen. I’ve never even been in a relationship properly. But you’re worth it. I just need you to be willing to forgive my mistakes in advance.”
Jensen feels like he’s going to float up into the air. This is going to be a tough road ahead, but if Jared’s willing, Jensen knows they can start over and make it this time.
“I’ll try my best, too, Jared. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy on my end either. Just…we’re in this together, okay. You and me. And that is something I can promise,” Jensen says fervently, needing Jared to understand that they’re a team now and they can get through anything as long as they’re both willing to try.
Jared nods and Jensen leans down to kiss him, their first proper in-a-relationship kiss. The thought sends tingles of happiness down Jensen’s spine and he smiles dopily into the kiss. They’re really going to do this.
“I cross my heart, and hope to die,” Jared says, “that I’m going to try to be good for you.”
“Jay, I need you to just be you and that’s good enough,” Jared responds, kissing him again and again and again. They have the rest of their lives together to iron out any wrinkles that may come their way. Thank goodness it wasn’t one more night after all.
Author: enablelove
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 1804
Tables: spn_30snapshots Theme 04: Lover’s Rock - 10. past
Cotton Candy Bingo square - making up
Summary: AU. Jensen lays himself bare. In every sense of the word ;)
Disclaimer: These gorgeous boys aren’t mine, no matter how much I wish they were. They belong to themselves and each other and this isn’t true, probably.
A/N: The finale of my ’one more night’ series. This series of fics stemmed from listening to ‘One More Night’ by Maroon 5 over and over again haha. It’s been an incredible journey, thank you!
The ride home in the cab is agonizing, there’s no other word for it. It leaves too much time for Jensen to think.
They finally reach Jared’s place, one Jensen’s seen only a handful of times, and Jared leads them up the stone walk, unlocking the door and holding out his hand before Jensen can enter. Oh right, the dogs.
Barking and petting and grumbling and puppy kisses commence and Jensen looks down fondly at Jared roughhousing with his dogs. God, he loves this man. The thought stabs at his heart and he feels the smile on his face tilt down into a frown. What the fuck has he gotten himself into?
Jared finishes and tugs at Jensen’s hand, leading him upstairs toward the bedroom. They’re inside and Jared’s on him in a flash, pulling off Jensen’s clothes, throwing them somewhere, and yanking at his own all the while kissing Jensen ferociously, like Jensen’s going to run away. And even if Jensen wanted to, he can’t. Not from Jared’s pleased growls as skin finally touches skin, or from Jared’s luminous eyes, or from the hands that feel like they’re everywhere.
Jensen kisses back just as hard, trying to put all his emotions into the kisses; all of his frustration and love and lust.
“Bed,” Jared demands, voice raw with desire and Jensen hastens to obey. They tumble onto Jared’s California King and Jared crawls on top of Jensen, every inch of his body blanketing him. He slowly rocks his hips, teasing their cocks. Jensen’s hard again, has been since Jared started kissing him and Jared’s there too.
Jared continues kissing him, mouthing down at Jensen’s neck every now and again to visit the bite marks he left minutes earlier. Has it only been minutes? Jensen can feel Jared reaching for the drawer on his bedside table where Jensen knows he keeps the supplies. A shiver runs through him at knowing what’s to come.
Pulling away, Jared pops open the cap of the tube of KY and squeezes some onto his fingers. The sight shouldn’t be so sexy, but he knows where those fingers are going to go and how good it’s going to feel. He snaps the cap back and tosses it on to the table, like they’ll need it again in a bit. Another slow shudder flows through Jensen at that.
Jared spreads Jensen’s knees and thighs by squeezing himself in between them and makes himself comfortable, elbows knocking into Jensen a little. Jensen tries to relax as Jared slowly runs his slick fingers around Jensen’s rim, not pressing fully inside. Moaning, Jensen tries to push back, but Jared holds one arm against Jensen’s belly, pinning him down.
“Don’t move, Jen, or I’ll just go even slower,” Jared promises.
Whining, Jensen stills and settles back, letting Jared have his way. Jared teases him for what seems like hours, slowly inserting a finger before pulling it back out and then just rubbing his fingers over Jensen’s fluttering hole. He then puts two inside, stretching Jensen, but pulls them out too quickly, not even letting Jensen get used to the intrusion and cups his balls, rolling them gently in the palm of his hands. Jensen’s about to go out of his mind, until finally Jared gets three fingers in and strokes that spot just enough for Jensen to get panting but not enough for him to come.
“Fuck, Jared, I’m ready. C’mon, baby, need your cock. Want you in me. Need you in me now. Please, Jared.” Jensen’s babbling and begging blindly, want and need coursing through him.
“Gonna get you there, Jensen,” Jared says huskily, finally pulling out his fingers. He grabs the tube again and squeezes a little more lube out, rubbing it lightly over his cock.
He positions himself and leans over, not thrusting inside yet.
“I need you to know that I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone else but you since you said goodbye. I couldn’t even think of anyone else. Want to be inside you bare, Jen. Want you to feel my come marking you up inside. Want to feel you clenching me so tightly. I just want,” Jared breathes, voice dark with suggestion.
“Fuck. Yes. Please.” Jensen moans, tilting up so that the head of Jared’s cock pushes inside.
Both of them gasp loudly and Jared wipes his fingers on the bedspread before letting one hand drop to Jensen’s waist, and carding the other through Jensen’s hair.
“Gonna make it so good for you, baby,” Jared says and pushes all the way inside.
Jensen lets out a shout from being too full too fast, but he wills his body to relax, welcoming Jared inside. His hand moves to Jared’s ass, and he squeezes, letting him know he’s good.
Jared starts with shallow thrusts, working until he can get the angle that makes Jensen see bursts of light behind his eyes and then pulling out and slamming all the way back in, honing at that one point again and again. Jared is a fucking master.
Neither of them last long after that, breathing hotly into each other’s mouths, not even enough brainpower to kiss.
Jared’s hand moves to Jensen’s dick, and he grips it tightly, stroking it to match the rhythm of his own cock pushing in and out of Jensen. They come within seconds of each other. Jensen can feel Jared’s come leaking out of his ass around Jared’s dick, and as gross as it’s supposed to be, Jensen likes it. His own come is all over their sweat soaked stomachs.
Not pulling out, Jared collapses on top of Jensen, body going completely boneless from exhaustion. Jensen trails fingertips down the line of Jared’s sweaty back, a mindless movement. He closes his eyes against the sudden rise of wetness. He’s going to miss this. He pushes those thoughts away and decides to man up. Jensen’s going to lay it all on the table and Jared’s going to decide where they go from here.
“Jay, we need to talk,” Jensen says soft and hesitant. He doesn’t really want to have this talk, but they have to. Jared groans and sits up, pulling out of Jensen slowly. The sensitivity makes both of them wince at the action.
“Yeah, I know. Can we just shower first?” Jared asks wearily.
Jensen nods and they go into the shower, rubbing each other down without any of the usual teasing and flirting their showers together have. Jared pulls some sweats for Jensen to wear and Jensen feels like he’s drowning in the extra material, but it’s nice and comfortable and smells like Jared, so no way is he refusing the solace.
They go downstairs to Jared’s kitchen and Jared puts on a pot of coffee, pulling out two mugs - matching Texas ones. The same one Jensen’s used the few times he was over. He swallows against the emotion in his throat and sits at the table. Jared pours them both their cups and adds a spoonful of cream and sugar, just how Jensen likes it, and sets it in front of Jensen before sitting down himself.
“So,” Jensen starts.
“So,” Jared echoes. God, why do they have to talk?
“I can’t do this anymore. I shouldn’t have started anything that first night again, because we’re right back where we started. I love you,” Jensen ignores Jared’s sharp inhalation of breath at that. He’s on a roll and laying himself bare. He’s pleading his case one last time. “All I want is to start over and leave the past where it was. I want you, Jared. I want only you. I want to come home to you, I want to wake up to you, I want to hold hands with you in the park and play with your dogs and make you breakfast when you’re on your runs. I want to meet your family and mock your hair styling products endlessly and I want to make you feel better when you’re down. Fuck, Jared, you have me so twisted up inside with how much I want more than just sex with you and I can’t want that on my own. I need a relationship. I’m ready to settle down and I want that with you.”
Jensen says all this in a rush, not meeting Jared’s eyes, but instead staring into his coffee cup.
“I…,” Jared begins and Jensen hold his breath, afraid of what Jared’s going to say. Jared pauses and Jensen looks up, daring to meet his eyes. Jared’s eyes are wide with shock, but there seems to be a hint of a smile on his face. Hope bubbles up, but Jensen squashes it down, afraid of being too optimistic.
“I want that, too,” Jared says quietly. “I love you, so much that it fucking scares me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve never had someone make me so crazy with lust and want and need. I don’t see you and I feel like my day’s not complete. But, Jensen, I can’t.”
Jensen feels the breath rush out of him and he thinks he can actually hear the cracks of his heart. Even after all of that, Jared’s not willing to try?
Jared looks at him and rushes to complete the thought, getting out of his chair and kneeling in front of Jensen.
“I mean, I don’t think I can do this right, but fuck if we don’t try. I can’t promise you this is going to be easy, Jensen. I’ve never even been in a relationship properly. But you’re worth it. I just need you to be willing to forgive my mistakes in advance.”
Jensen feels like he’s going to float up into the air. This is going to be a tough road ahead, but if Jared’s willing, Jensen knows they can start over and make it this time.
“I’ll try my best, too, Jared. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy on my end either. Just…we’re in this together, okay. You and me. And that is something I can promise,” Jensen says fervently, needing Jared to understand that they’re a team now and they can get through anything as long as they’re both willing to try.
Jared nods and Jensen leans down to kiss him, their first proper in-a-relationship kiss. The thought sends tingles of happiness down Jensen’s spine and he smiles dopily into the kiss. They’re really going to do this.
“I cross my heart, and hope to die,” Jared says, “that I’m going to try to be good for you.”
“Jay, I need you to just be you and that’s good enough,” Jared responds, kissing him again and again and again. They have the rest of their lives together to iron out any wrinkles that may come their way. Thank goodness it wasn’t one more night after all.