KT being serious for once...amaaazing...
So I was thinking recently about things and my past, and came to some conclusions.
For the most part, the person that I was for majority of the year last year wasn't me...I was trying to be different because I thought I wanted to change...that I was tired of who I had been in high school. then, spring break happened, and I realized who I wanted to be. And over the summer, I stumbled a bit, but I figured it out more. And now, I'm still learning. But I have a good basis to go on. You don't have to change after high school...yes, you will change, but your personality doesn't have to change completely. You can be yourself, you can be crazy. You don't have to grow up all of a sudden, and stop playing video games or anything. You can make stupid mistakes (yes, involving stairs...) and not get enough sleep. But you just have to be true to yourself.
However, I'm not fully happy with myself yet. It's hard for me to be serious, and it makes it hard for people to talk to me about problems. I realize that, and I want to be better at it. And I'll get there, I hope. I also don't know what I want with my future. and that's okay. because it's a while off. I'm just gonna do what I love here, and figure out a career with it later.
I have great friends though. Both in Nac and in Austin. And they've made this year sooo much more better. When I feel down, they're right there to listen or to let me just hang back and watch them...and laugh. because they make me happy. and in austin, they're just amazing listeners. Tario listened to the saga of mark from beginning to end pretty much. and she never once complained about how much she had to listen to it. But to all my friends, thanks. I love you all. You've all helped me in your own way.
I use sarcasm to hide. I hate talking about deep things that involve me. maybe that's not good, but thats what i've always done. it takes a lot for me to really go deep about what's bothering me. i dunno why, but i do.
Okay, that's enough reflection for one night. no idea where this all came from, but it came out. actually, i have an idea where it came from. if you read it all, you're amazing. if you didn't, no worries.
For the most part, the person that I was for majority of the year last year wasn't me...I was trying to be different because I thought I wanted to change...that I was tired of who I had been in high school. then, spring break happened, and I realized who I wanted to be. And over the summer, I stumbled a bit, but I figured it out more. And now, I'm still learning. But I have a good basis to go on. You don't have to change after high school...yes, you will change, but your personality doesn't have to change completely. You can be yourself, you can be crazy. You don't have to grow up all of a sudden, and stop playing video games or anything. You can make stupid mistakes (yes, involving stairs...) and not get enough sleep. But you just have to be true to yourself.
However, I'm not fully happy with myself yet. It's hard for me to be serious, and it makes it hard for people to talk to me about problems. I realize that, and I want to be better at it. And I'll get there, I hope. I also don't know what I want with my future. and that's okay. because it's a while off. I'm just gonna do what I love here, and figure out a career with it later.
I have great friends though. Both in Nac and in Austin. And they've made this year sooo much more better. When I feel down, they're right there to listen or to let me just hang back and watch them...and laugh. because they make me happy. and in austin, they're just amazing listeners. Tario listened to the saga of mark from beginning to end pretty much. and she never once complained about how much she had to listen to it. But to all my friends, thanks. I love you all. You've all helped me in your own way.
I use sarcasm to hide. I hate talking about deep things that involve me. maybe that's not good, but thats what i've always done. it takes a lot for me to really go deep about what's bothering me. i dunno why, but i do.
Okay, that's enough reflection for one night. no idea where this all came from, but it came out. actually, i have an idea where it came from. if you read it all, you're amazing. if you didn't, no worries.