vulcan pick up lines
Totally not authored by me. All snagged from st_xi_kink and available there. I just wanted to compile them cause they're too damn funny. -sheepish grin- Some of them have Uhura in them but idc, may re-edit some later?
“Do you subscribe to the concept of predestined affection based on initial visual perception? Or shall I walk by again?”
Madam, you are a cunning and skillful thief and, I find, most deserving of the heart you have acquired from me.
I wish to inquire as to whether or not you prefer to recline on your stomach while sleeping. If not, may I?
Pardon me, but might I request that you provide me with directions? I find that I am continually becoming lost in your eyes.
"Cadet Uhura, might I inquire as to whether or not you suffered physical discomfort upon falling to Earth? Also, it would be prudent to alert your superiors that one of their ranks has recently gone missing."
"I am concerned that you are not showing signs of fatigue, Cadet Uhura, as you have been vigorously sprinting through the confines of my subconscious since dawn."
“I would like to request your presence at an event I fully intend to host in the immediate, foreseeable future. A prompt R.S.V.P. would be most appreciated. It is to be a small celebratory gathering. I intend to host this event within the confines of my regulation issued uniform slacks.”
"I wish to confirm your proficiency at cardiopulmonary resuscitation, Cadet, as I find myself experiencing an increased probability of respiratory system malfunction while in your vicinity."
"Would it be permissible for me inquire whether you originally resided in a state in the "Southern" region of twenty-first-century America, Cadet Uhura? The matter is of some interest to me, as I believe I would rank you alone at the top of an arbitrarily defined ten-point scale."
"As a linguist, I would appreciate your opinion as to whether it would be acceptable to reorganize the Roman Earth alphabet in order to place the twenty-first and ninth letters adjacent to one another? It is my considered opinion that this would enhance both efficiency and symbolic meaning."
I was wondering, Cadet Uhura, if I could persuade you to accept this ticket? It will grant you entrance to a display of small armaments, which happens to be taking place at this moment in the approximate region of my biceps and deltoids, with an auxillary showing in the vicinity of the tricep.
My apologies for the interruption, but I appear to have misplaced my communicator's identification code. Would it be permissible for me to obtain yours for the interim?
Cadet Uhura, if I were to select an enzyme that most exemplifies my current state of being, I would select the DNA helicase. This, of course, would permit me to unzip your genes.
The second law of thermodynamics states that it should be physically impossible for you to continue spontaneously increasing in temperature, as you are already the hottest personage in the immediate vicinity. I would enjoy studying this phenomenon further, perhaps in private?
After a thorough examination of the various equations and functions of your culture's mathematics, I find myself identifying most closely with the "tangent" formula, as it lies enviably close to the aesthetically pleasing contours of your body in a manner I wish to emulate.
Cadet Uhura, may I inquire as to whether or not you had a rural upbringing and/or experience handling livestock? You appear to have an unparalleled ability in maturing roosters.
Your current selection in clothing is aesthetically pleasing. However, I believe the pleasure factor could be increased significantly by reallocating them to the floor of my dormitory quarters.
You display superior taste in footwear. In an unrelated matter, I would like to mate with you.
Cadet Uhura, I would like to confirm that your first name is Nyota and not, in fact, Mickey, as historically only humans named Mickey have been so incomprehensibly attractive.
Cadet Uhura, may I request a private mating session in my quarters, followed by the consumption of "pizza?" If this is not satisfactory, perhaps some other food may be obtained from the mess hall.
If I may ask, Cadet Uhura, did you experience any pain when you fell from the celestial body that primitive humans once referred to as heaven?
Your footwear is exemplary. Would you like to engage in sexual intercourse?
Pardon me, Cadet Uhura, but I wish to ascertain if you hold a clerical position at the Academy book repository for I am, indeed, checking you out as it were.
If I were assigned to program the universal linguacode matrix I would re-order the vowels 'U' and 'I' to share a closer proximity.
Theoretically, if you were a phaser rather than an organic being, you would be decidedly inefficient as your only plausible setting would be "stunning".
Have the atmospheric controls for this room defaulted to an unusually high temperature many degrees above recommended levels -- or is it just you?
I require aid in ascertaining the spring constant of my regulation mattress. Would you care to collect data?
Is there fire control personnel nearby, you appear to be on fire.
I appear to be experiencing an energy surge. Is it possible that you have rerouted the EPS conduits through my heart?
Madame, if I may submit that "legs" is the vernacular term currently at the of peak of interest, it would be most logical if we were to return to your domicile and disseminate this information for maximal satisfaction.
May I request the pleasure of your company on a scientific exploration of Uranus?
I have recently been assigned to this starship, may I have the location of your quarters?
Do you have any Vulcan genomes in you? ....Would you like to?
Would you consent to placing yourself upon my seated form, such that we may engage in discussion regarding whatever topic may come to our attention?
Are you certain your heritage is entirely terran? because you appear to be out of this world.
That standard issue Starfleet uniform accentuates your peek physical form admirably, but it is my professional opinion that said garment would be far better suited for a relocation to the floor of my personal quarters.
Have the environmental controls malfunctioned, permitting the temperature of this location to increase incrementally, or are you simply very attractive?
Pardon, but I seem to have misplaced the digits I utilize for personal, portable communication, might I learn yours in their stead?
Were you harmed on your descent from a questionably defined superlative afterlife?
Are you suffering fatigue from your repeated sojourns through my imagination?
My affection for you is comparable to the rabbit symbol of an compact energy supplier on Earth, because it is continual.
Have you recently been seated in a small puddle of liquid dihydrogen oxide? Or does my presence make you elated?
May I remark that the garments covering your lower body appear unusually reflective today? I find that it is possible to view myself in them.
Would you find my choice of phrasing grammatically offensive, should I choose to conclude this sentence with a proposition?
http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/379.html?thread=81275#t81275
“Do you subscribe to the concept of predestined affection based on initial visual perception? Or shall I walk by again?”
Madam, you are a cunning and skillful thief and, I find, most deserving of the heart you have acquired from me.
I wish to inquire as to whether or not you prefer to recline on your stomach while sleeping. If not, may I?
Pardon me, but might I request that you provide me with directions? I find that I am continually becoming lost in your eyes.
"Cadet Uhura, might I inquire as to whether or not you suffered physical discomfort upon falling to Earth? Also, it would be prudent to alert your superiors that one of their ranks has recently gone missing."
"I am concerned that you are not showing signs of fatigue, Cadet Uhura, as you have been vigorously sprinting through the confines of my subconscious since dawn."
“I would like to request your presence at an event I fully intend to host in the immediate, foreseeable future. A prompt R.S.V.P. would be most appreciated. It is to be a small celebratory gathering. I intend to host this event within the confines of my regulation issued uniform slacks.”
"I wish to confirm your proficiency at cardiopulmonary resuscitation, Cadet, as I find myself experiencing an increased probability of respiratory system malfunction while in your vicinity."
"Would it be permissible for me inquire whether you originally resided in a state in the "Southern" region of twenty-first-century America, Cadet Uhura? The matter is of some interest to me, as I believe I would rank you alone at the top of an arbitrarily defined ten-point scale."
"As a linguist, I would appreciate your opinion as to whether it would be acceptable to reorganize the Roman Earth alphabet in order to place the twenty-first and ninth letters adjacent to one another? It is my considered opinion that this would enhance both efficiency and symbolic meaning."
I was wondering, Cadet Uhura, if I could persuade you to accept this ticket? It will grant you entrance to a display of small armaments, which happens to be taking place at this moment in the approximate region of my biceps and deltoids, with an auxillary showing in the vicinity of the tricep.
My apologies for the interruption, but I appear to have misplaced my communicator's identification code. Would it be permissible for me to obtain yours for the interim?
Cadet Uhura, if I were to select an enzyme that most exemplifies my current state of being, I would select the DNA helicase. This, of course, would permit me to unzip your genes.
The second law of thermodynamics states that it should be physically impossible for you to continue spontaneously increasing in temperature, as you are already the hottest personage in the immediate vicinity. I would enjoy studying this phenomenon further, perhaps in private?
After a thorough examination of the various equations and functions of your culture's mathematics, I find myself identifying most closely with the "tangent" formula, as it lies enviably close to the aesthetically pleasing contours of your body in a manner I wish to emulate.
Cadet Uhura, may I inquire as to whether or not you had a rural upbringing and/or experience handling livestock? You appear to have an unparalleled ability in maturing roosters.
Your current selection in clothing is aesthetically pleasing. However, I believe the pleasure factor could be increased significantly by reallocating them to the floor of my dormitory quarters.
You display superior taste in footwear. In an unrelated matter, I would like to mate with you.
Cadet Uhura, I would like to confirm that your first name is Nyota and not, in fact, Mickey, as historically only humans named Mickey have been so incomprehensibly attractive.
Cadet Uhura, may I request a private mating session in my quarters, followed by the consumption of "pizza?" If this is not satisfactory, perhaps some other food may be obtained from the mess hall.
If I may ask, Cadet Uhura, did you experience any pain when you fell from the celestial body that primitive humans once referred to as heaven?
Your footwear is exemplary. Would you like to engage in sexual intercourse?
Pardon me, Cadet Uhura, but I wish to ascertain if you hold a clerical position at the Academy book repository for I am, indeed, checking you out as it were.
If I were assigned to program the universal linguacode matrix I would re-order the vowels 'U' and 'I' to share a closer proximity.
Theoretically, if you were a phaser rather than an organic being, you would be decidedly inefficient as your only plausible setting would be "stunning".
Have the atmospheric controls for this room defaulted to an unusually high temperature many degrees above recommended levels -- or is it just you?
I require aid in ascertaining the spring constant of my regulation mattress. Would you care to collect data?
Is there fire control personnel nearby, you appear to be on fire.
I appear to be experiencing an energy surge. Is it possible that you have rerouted the EPS conduits through my heart?
Madame, if I may submit that "legs" is the vernacular term currently at the of peak of interest, it would be most logical if we were to return to your domicile and disseminate this information for maximal satisfaction.
May I request the pleasure of your company on a scientific exploration of Uranus?
I have recently been assigned to this starship, may I have the location of your quarters?
Do you have any Vulcan genomes in you? ....Would you like to?
Would you consent to placing yourself upon my seated form, such that we may engage in discussion regarding whatever topic may come to our attention?
Are you certain your heritage is entirely terran? because you appear to be out of this world.
That standard issue Starfleet uniform accentuates your peek physical form admirably, but it is my professional opinion that said garment would be far better suited for a relocation to the floor of my personal quarters.
Have the environmental controls malfunctioned, permitting the temperature of this location to increase incrementally, or are you simply very attractive?
Pardon, but I seem to have misplaced the digits I utilize for personal, portable communication, might I learn yours in their stead?
Were you harmed on your descent from a questionably defined superlative afterlife?
Are you suffering fatigue from your repeated sojourns through my imagination?
My affection for you is comparable to the rabbit symbol of an compact energy supplier on Earth, because it is continual.
Have you recently been seated in a small puddle of liquid dihydrogen oxide? Or does my presence make you elated?
May I remark that the garments covering your lower body appear unusually reflective today? I find that it is possible to view myself in them.
Would you find my choice of phrasing grammatically offensive, should I choose to conclude this sentence with a proposition?
http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/379.html?thread=81275#t81275