Our First... 2

Feb 24, 2010 01:06

Our First Adventure ( Read more... )

fang vanille ffxiii yuri fanfiction fang

Leave a comment

Comments 9

tigon_0 February 24 2010, 08:49:06 UTC
Nicely done, only thing i can think of to critic is the distence they traveled after only half a day that would have had Fang even think they could out run a large preditor, and make it back the Village. They must have been flying. Also, what are their ages in this? I keep picturing between the ages of 12-10(fang), and 10-8(Vanille). Otherwise you paid close attention to the small things, which made it really interesting to note of and give that kind of 'Dawww' feeling. Which helped with the young character developements. I think we all can agree that the first sleeping scene was unbarable cute, and the last one that followed was too. Damn good job, hope the next chapter will be out soon. r/r later

Reply

tigon_0 February 24 2010, 09:33:40 UTC
Whoops, nevermind on the age, I missed the opening authors note.

Reply

colorfulkitten February 24 2010, 20:46:59 UTC
Lol, sorry about not making the ages clear within the story, guess I can post more clearly their current age at the start for the next chapters at least. But ya they're like, 15-13 in this one.
Hmm, why Fang ran from the monster, can't really offer a good reason for that one, haha, I just went with the flow >.< I'm glad you liked the little details, lol, I tried to add as much as I could without over doing it. XD
Thanks! I haven't started the next one yet, but I already have the general idea of what it will be about, so hopefully within a few days. :)

Reply

tigon_0 February 24 2010, 22:54:57 UTC
You are awsome, I'll keep close eye out between art works.

Reply


anonymous February 24 2010, 09:03:00 UTC
omfg I LOVE this chapter!!! Like, seriously, all of it!! At the end my mind is filled with "XD"s and "Awwwwwww"s >///<

I can't wait for more from you!!!
Fanille 4ever!

Reply

colorfulkitten February 24 2010, 21:01:07 UTC
Hahaha, glad I could get a good reaction ;) I tried to put in enough cute moments to even things out, and will try to keep them within the chapters to come, but I can honestly say that things do become a bit more intimate from here on out. spoiler! o .o

Reply


Leave a comment

Up