"i try not to think of these things because these things are bee stings" --francine prose

[coloxic]

i tried to put a book on a shelf. my height. about four feet off the ground. i slide a collapsed stack of books, and they landslide on the desk and knock an empty mug of coffee over. now instead of "putting" it's become "rearranging". like a quick puzzle of blocks, i take some and put it on the other shelf for space, in turn, knocking things over,

Comments

[fuseji]

"i'm good on paper." should be your business card.

You're probably unblessed with grace because it leaks out of your fingers into all the other talent-required things that you do. The kind of concert pianist who can bang out a solo that will have the audience on their feet at the end until you trip over your own stool.

Invest in bungee cords and a talented puppeteer to move your limbs about with them. Not only will you be more socially graceful, but you'll never be lonely again.

I also had that same assisting skill in P.E. It made me lightheaded enough to try at other things like shooting and dunking, but the first nurse's office trip I had brought me back down to earth as sharply as the elbow in my groin that sent me there.

fuseji is a bad-idea-in-the-box.

[coloxic]

if i had a talented puppeteer, weird gay guys would stop hitting on me (odd story). oh nevermind, i realized the bungee cords were for the other kind of puppeteer. so i'll be like nsync and more weird gay guys would hit on me.

i was too weak and small to be a good scorer

[epathamerkerson]

I was going to tell you that I always thought of you as kind of a 2d guy, but now I realize that it's basically an insult.

[coloxic]

i'm flattered that you did indirectly

[epathamerkerson]

Yeah, they call that tact.

Also, you should have said "flattened".