(no subject)
My brain keeps drifting back to when I was 7 years old….well from 6 to 8
My father was an alcoholic and a pot head. My mother was a writer and a recluse.
I had 3 siblings and we lived in a house that was being added on to.
My parents had a friend named Lance. To me he was the coolest man. He would play games with me, talk with me, color with me, and joke around with me. I thought he was the best thing in the planet.
He would often spend the night at our house. My parents would have parties and people would just crash.
Lance spent the night one night after my dad and his friends and drank way too much and smoked so much pot that the smell was seeping into our bed rooms.
At this time I had my own room for the first time in my life. It was blue. All blue… My favorite.
In the middle of this party, Lance came into my room and laid beside me. He started telling me to play airplane with him… most people know what that is…
I said sure and he laid me on top of him.
He then proceeded to rub me up and down against his body. After that for a minute he unzipped his pants and put my hand into his pants making my jack him off.
My dad comes around the corner of the doorway and says “What in the hell is going on in here?” Lance throws me off of him and tells my dad that I had called him in the room to play airplane.
My dad smiled and walked back into the living room with my father.
I said nothing to my father about it the next day at the bus stop. I thought for what ever reason that it was somehow my fault and if he was not saying anything about it then I would be ok if I said nothing as well.
It happened again and again until I was 8 years old. At this point I was in another room and sharing it with my baby brother.
On the nights lance would stay over I would tell my younger brother that a monster was trying to steal little girls from their beds and we had to sleep with myself in the corner and him laying diagonal in front of me.
You see, I somehow thought that this would stop Lance from pulling me out of the bed and into the living room with him.
It worked sometimes.
He would often, while he was kissing my chest, tell me that he loved me. Explaining my attitude later in life but moving on…. I can’t stop here….
One night in this room I remember him coming into the bedroom and beginning again….
Tormenting my tiny body, and I would always find a place in my mind to go to. Well, something happened this time. I am not sure what it was but all at once I heard a lion’s roar and the next thing I knew lance had jumped off of me and ran out of the room.
That was the last night he ever came into my bedroom again.
He tried to approach me again when I was 12 but I was lucky to have my mom say no.
I never mentioned it again until I was 16 and no one in my family believed me.
Then living with David on Bagwell, I receive a phone call from Lance’s sister telling me that Lance had molested his own niece and they where taking him to court. There had been 5 others that had come out about it happening to them. They where all under the age 20. So as far as I know I am the oldest that has come out about it happening, so I am to believe that I was his first victim. That adds shame.
Just so you know, 6 children molested by the same man different times frames in life with similar stories, as well as a child porn web site and a job in the mall taking photos from mothers of their children to become models, to a DA, is not enough to take to court.
So he bought his way out of prison. ….
I am done with this story
I just needed to vent.