OH WHAT THE HONKING FLAP, UNIVERSE?

[cometotheedge]

So my colleague's going off sick for amonth after an operation, and we've been struggling to find a temp who'll stick around for more than two days

Comments

[secret_weapon]

JUMP HIM IN THE COPY ROOM!

DO IT! DO IT NOW!

[cometotheedge]

Dude srsly when I say 20something I'm talking tecnically not a teenager but only just.

UR SUGGESTION IS MOST INTRGN THO

[secret_weapon]

LOL You know young people! They are up for anything in our broken society! He probably expects to be jumped in the copy room.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DISSAPOINT HIM LIKE THAT? WHY? WHY? WHY? POOR BOY WILL GO HOME CRYING THAT NO-ONE LOVES HIM.

/The crack abt broken society is a joke. I obs do not think society is broken... except on the internet, but as we know the internet is for porn so it's okay!

[cometotheedge]

It is an excellent plan but for one tiny snag - we don't have a copy room so much as a copy corner of the open plan office we're everyone can see, and exhibitionism's not really my kink.

'Sides, boy's so tasty they'd all want a go...

[cometotheedge]

ooh that might work WAIT STOP ENABLING ME

[roh_wyn]

This is in the realm of "problem we all wish we had", no? ;)

I recommend office stalking and a conveniently located broom closet, lol.

[cometotheedge]

It's exhausting though, trying to balance the cash while not accidentally blurting 'Can I lick your face?'

[winter_solstice]

Well, if he's going to be there for only two days anyway then make the most of it! :D

[cometotheedge]

Oh don't worry, I've been discreetly ogling all day...

[kinkme]

I would like to restate the idea of JUMPING HIM LIKE A GOD DAMN IMPALA.

[cometotheedge]

IT IS THE SUGGESTION OF A WARRIOR

UNFORTUNATELY YOU'RE SUGGESTING IT TO SOMEONE WHO TURNS INTO SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN* ON TALKING TO NORMAL-LOOKING PEOPLE SHE HASN'T MET, LET ALONE JUMPABLE ONES

*only, y'know, more ginger

[kinkme]

You can hit zat. Or, at least, flirt outrageously for the few days you have him.

Hurr hurr have him.

I'm sure that ginger penguins would be sought out by mates for their weird awesome, so your metaphor is FLAWED.

[cometotheedge]

Yes, but wouldn't that only work if he too was a penguin?

CURSES WHAT AM I SAYING I SHALL TAKE INSPIRATION FROM YOUR CHEKOV ICON.

THE COURAGE OF MOTHER RUSSIA FLOWS THROUGH MY VEINS