bizzord and stizzoned...guah! ....I ache!
So yea shitty that I feel so dead inside...in a way I kinda want school to come...ha Me, Carlie, said that!? weird. Something must be wrong.! guah I hate my stupid age...I wish things would just simply get better... :( !
Here's some lyrics from the band Brand New...I love them...they help put me at ease...
Play Crack the Sky~
We sent out the SOS call
It was a quater past four
In the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea.
Four months of calm seas
Only to be pounded in the shallows
Off of the tip of Montauk Point.
They call them rogues.
They travel fast and alone,
One hundred foot faces
Of God's good ocean gone wrong
What they call love is a risk,
Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere
By some wave and end up on your own.
The hole in the hull defied the crews attempts
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio
And half buried bow.
Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed it to bits on the reef.
The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
Off the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day
To give my love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies
Washed up thirty miles west.
They say that the captain
Stays fast with the ship
Through still and storm.
But this ain't the Dakota.
And the water is cold.
We won't have to fight for long.
This is the end.
This story's old
But it goes on and on
Until we disappear.
Calm me and let me taste
The salt that you breathed
While you were underneath.
I am the one who haunts your dreams
Of mountains sunk below the sea.
I spoke the words but never
Gave a thought to what they all could mean.
I know that this is what you want.
A funeral keeps both of us apart.
You know that you are not alone.
Need you like water in my lungs.
This is the end.
This is the end.
This story's old
But it goes on and on
Until we disappear.
Calm me and let me taste
The salt that you breathed
While you were underneath.
I am the one who haunts your dreams
Of mountains sunk below the sea.
I spoke the words but never
Gave a thought to what they all could mean.
I know that this is what you want.
A funeral keeps both of us apart.
You know that you are not alone.
Need you like water in my lungs.
This is the end.
Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades~
Keep the noise low, She doesn’t want to blow it.
Shaking head to toe while your left hand does the show me around
Quickens your heartbeat, It beats me straight into the ground
You don’t recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed - completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tightagainst sheets barely whisper,
This is so messed up.
Upon arrival the guests had all stared,
Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch.
Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.)
He keeps his hands low,
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe, and his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns, and he thinks of throwing up
But the body on the bed beckons forward, and he starts growing up.
The fever, the focus,
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathe,
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
She hits the lights,
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth,
He is gasping for air.
This is the first and last time, he says
She fakes a smile, and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast, and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for...
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing old.)
So much more than he could ever give,
A life full of lies and meaningful relationships.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides,
He waits for it to end and for the aching in his gut to subside.
The fever, the focus,
The reason that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of
It used to be the reason that I breathed,
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes, the art of growing old.
The fever, the focus,
The reason that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of
It used to be the reason that I breathed,
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Okay I believe you but my tommy gun doesn't~
I’m heaven sent
Don’t you dare forget
I am all you ever wanted
What all the other boys all promised
Sorry I told, I just needed you to know
I think in decimals and dollars
I am the cause to all your problems
Shelter from cold
We’re never alone
Coordinate brain and mouth
Then ask me what its like to have my self so figured out
…wish I knew
I hope this song starts a craze
The kind of song that ignites the airways
The kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are with whoever they're there with,
This is war
Every line is about who I don’t want to write about anymore
Hope you come down with something they can’t diagnose,
Don’t have the cure for.
Holding on to your grudge
Oh it’s so hard to have someone to love,
And keeping quiet is hard
Cause you can’t keep a secret if it was never was a secret to start
At least pretend you didn’t want to get caught
We're concentrating on fallen apart
We were contenders and now we’re throwing the fights
I just want to believe,
I just want to believe,
I just want to believe... in us
Oh we're so c-c-c-controversial
We are entirely smooth
We admit to the truth
We are the best at what we do
And these are the words you wish you wrote down,
This is the way you wish your voice sounds
Handsome and smart
Oh my tongue’s the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart
And it’s all from watching TV
And from speeding up my breathing
I wouldn’t stop if I could
Oh it hurts to be this good
Holding on to your grudge
Oh it hurts to always have to be honest with the one that you love
Oh so let it go
We're concentrating on falling apart
We were contenders, now we’re throwing the fight
I just want to believe
I just want to believe
I just want to believe
We're concentrating on falling apart
We were contenders, now we’re throwing the fight
I just want to believe
I just want to believe
I just want to believe…in us
This is the grace only we can bestow
This is the price you pay for lost of control
This is the break in the bend
This is closest of calls
This is the reason you’re alone
This is the rise and the fall
We're concentrating on falling apart
We were contenders, now we’re throwing the fights
I just want to believe
I just want to believe
I just want to believe
We're concentrating on falling apart
We were contenders, now we’re throwing the fights
I just want to believe
I just want to believe
I just want to believe… in us
The boy who blocked his own shot~
If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.
Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.
If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way.
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room,
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
Say you wanted a solution. You just wanted to be missed.
Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...
You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold.
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin.
Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can.
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.
Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.
Me Vs. Maradona Vs. Elvis~
With one or two I get used to the room.
We go slow when we first make our moves.
But five or six bring you out to the car.
Number nine with my head on the bar.
And it's sad, but true.
Out of cash and I own you.
Desperate desires and unadmirable plans.
My tongue will taste the gin and malicious intent.
Bring you back to the bar.
Get you out of the cold.
A sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.
And they're scared that we know all the crimes they'll commit.
Who they'll kiss before they get home.
I will lie awake.
Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you.
Let you fall for every empty word I say.
Barely conscious in the door where you stand.
Your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes your demands.
You laugh at every word, trying hard to be cute.
I almost feel sorry for what I'm gonna do.
And your hair smells of smoke.
Who will cast the first stone?
You can sin or spend the night all alone.
Brass buttons on your coat hold the cold in the shape of a heart that they cut out of stone.
You're using all your looks that you've thrown from the start.
If you let me have my way, I swear I'll tear you apart.
Cause it's all you can be.
You're a drunk and you're scared.
It's ladies night.
All the girls drink for free.
I will lie awake.
Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you.
Let you fall for every empty word I say.
Seventy times 7~
Back in school they never taught us
what we needed to know
Like how to deal with despair
or someone breakin your heart
-Twelve years I've held it all together,
but a night like this is beggin to pull me apart.
I played it quiet left you deep in conversation
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen
I remember I kept thinking
that I know you never would
And now I know I want to kill you
like only a best friend could
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to..
As if it happening wasn't enough
I gotta go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked.
Ignore the sun, covers over my head
Wrote a message on my pillow that says
"Jesse, stay asleep in bed"
Don't apologize - I hope you choke and die
Search your shelf for something which to hang yourself
They say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to..
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to..
So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you cna think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield
Is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say "best friends" means friends forever
Is that what you call a getaway?!?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield!
(is that what you call a getaway?)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(tell me what you got away with)
Everyone's caught on to..
(cause ive seen more spine in jellyfish)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and ive seen more guts in 11 year old kids)
Everyone's caught on to..
(have another drink and drive yourself home)
Everyone's caught on to..
(i hope theres ice on all the roads)
Everyone's caught on to..
(and you can think of me, when you forget your seatbelt)
Everyone's caught on to..
(and again when your head goes through the winshield!)
Everyone's caught on to..
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to..
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to..
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to..
Moshi Moshi~
I think I’m crazy baby
I let you off the hook too easily
If you were a telephone you'd still be off the hook.
This is my last leg, been awake for days,
in a minute I'll die of starvation
I'll come back a ghost,
back to haunt you and float around your room.
What do I do when you get close?
If I kiss your neck, would you slit my throat?
Are you thinking of me when you're putting on your make-up darling'?
Dying your hair like you do?
Well, you’re wasting your time if you’re trying to impress me,
I waste all my time just thinking of you.
I'm not imagining how you give me the shivers,
standing up to your waist in your river.
You’re the sweetest boat builder I think I've ever seen.
Dream in Japanese, dream in Japanese,
Some language I don't even know how to speak.
But your still pretty, I am still choked up,
it's probably just the same.
The more I hang around you,
the more hang ups I get.
Are you thinking of me when you're putting on your make-up darling'?
Dying your hair like you do?
Well, you’re wasting your time if you’re trying to impress me,
I waste all my time just thinking of you.
I know that you're an angel,
but you could never stay true.
Hey Angel, I think your halo has a screw loose
Cause you drop me like a brick off the rooftop of your high school.
Could I watch the next time you're applying you eyeliner,
I waste all my time just thinking of you.
Flying at tree level~
We were doomed from the start,
as lovers are.
Why am I doing this?
Digging my own grave.
Though it's shallow,
I would lie in it.
We're down in the basement,
in the dark,
after we crash your car.
Hoping fast that my arrow,
hits the mark,
so you know who we are.
Please keep the reporters at bay.
This a matter of life and death,
but I deal with things like this everyday.
Please keep the reporters at bay.
You never do what I tell you to.
You never do what I say.
We've been hurting a long time.
Trying hard for this.
We all have sizeable scars.
We got it.
You'd break it all apart.
We got it.
We can make it work like this, like this, like this
Yes we are a bullet
in the heart
and the message sent.
Always dragging your feet
over sand
and over hot cement.
Make a list of your favorites.
Write it down.
Make it legible.
A problem we're always facing.
We never rest.
You either push or pull.
Please keep the crowd under control.
This is a matter of life and death,
and we're not prepared.
I just want you to know.
Please keep the crowd under control.
This is the weight of my conscience.
This is an all time low.
We've been hurting a long time.
Trying hard for this.
We all have sizeable scars.
We got it.
You'd break it all apart.
We got it.
We can make it work like this, like this, like this
I see my baby.
She's starry eyed.
I feel my bones break all the time.
I see my baby.
She's starry eyed.
She follows. Don't call me unkind.
I see my baby.
She's starry eyed.
I feel my bones break all the time.
I see my baby.
She's starry eyed.
She follows. Don't call me unkind.
We've been hurting a long time.
Trying hard for this.
We all have sizeable scars.
We got it.
You'd break it all apart.
We got it.
We can make it work like this, like this, like this
We've been hurting a long time.
Trying hard for this.
We all have sizeable scars.
We got it.
You'd break it all apart.
We got it.
We could make it work like this, like this, like this.
The shower scene~
It's funny how your worst enemies always seem to
turn out to be all of your
best friend's best friends
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I saved to sink you
but I folded, I told
So draw or throw and I will explode
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
Or "you are far too cute" or whatever he said
Every time I hear it I am wishing I was great
I wished her (past tense) my best friend
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I say to save me
But I folded, I told
I hope she's caught in the explosion
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
Or "you are far too cute" or whatever he said
It's time for you to choose
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
This is me in his room
This is me in his room
This is me in his room
Red, gold, I told
We don't play fair
Red, gold, I told
We never stand too close
So I update this almost every single day for you
I begin to hate you for your face and not just the things you do
Go tell him how my wrist is sore
from pulling at your insides all night
Nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you