We just want to hear the truth...

[coming_clean001]

Title: In Trust is Truth
Rating: PG
Genre: Crime
Summary: A short story written for the year 9 english Crime Fiction unit. Written in the realist style. Set in Australia, in the suburbs somewhere. 
Warnings: Sexual references and mature themes.
Words: 4, 124
Author's Note: I'm happy with this one. Please take a look at it if you can, because Crime isn't

Comments

[lightbird777]

Not bad for a first crime fic. You write very well. One picky technical thing: it would make it easier to read if you double-spaced between paragraphs. Also there are a couple of typos here and there, missing words, etc., but that's just a matter of going back and editing.

I thought that there could have been more detail as far as the clues and how the detectives discovered them, but I realize that this is a short story and you didn't have leeway to do that. If you ever decide to make this multi-chaptered, that would be something to consider, fleshing it out more and drawing out the suspense as the detectives uncover the truth little by little. But you've started out with a good crime plot and your execution was pretty good. And you did a very nice job with the characterization of the two detectives. Keep up the good work!

[coming_clean001]

Thanks. Yeah, it was really annoying that I had to keep this short, because I would have loved to flesh it out and build suppense and all that, because I don't do a lot of that sort of writing, so it would have been good practise.
I know, I'm hopeless at formatting. I need to get my sister to teach me how, coz, yeah, I know it's a bit hard to read.
Anyway, thanks a lot for reading. =D