fic- Introduction to Information Literacy, chapter two
Title: Introduction to Information Literacy
Author: glorious_clio
Fandom: Community
Pairing/Character: None - just good old fashioned group shenanigans.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: none
Word Count: 2417
Author's Note: : I am a librarian at a community college, and I just want to take five minutes of your time and advocate for the institution. So often I’ve been asked by well-meaning family members “aren’t libraries dying”? This is a response to that. Sort of. Every single question in here is one that has been asked at least once. Even if the group isn’t asking a librarian.
Sadly, I don’t have my own Greendale Seven equivalent, let alone own the rights to this show.
I’m still fairly new to this fandom. Constructive Criticism is welcome with open arms. Seriously. Crossposted to fanfiction.net.
Summary: Annie overhears some librarians talking about decreasing the libraries hours from 24 hours to something more reasonable. The Greendale Seven, with the best of intentions, rally on different sides of the controversy.
chapter one
Jeff stormed into the library with Abed on his heels - or he would have, but there was a huge crowd in front of the desk, calling out questions. Mariah and her co-worker looked completely overwhelmed.
"Is this a poetry book?!" yelled Leonard holding up a giant tome.
"If you're in another country, like Texas, and your brother is being eaten by an alligator, what number do you dial to get 9-1-1?" asked a man who looked a little like Starburns...
"Can you find me a website to adopt a cat? But not a real cat, I'm allergic," queried Quendra.
"Would books about pirates be in the 'P' section?" Neil demanded.
"Do you have a globe of the Earth that's life sized?" Vicky wanted to know.
"One at a time!" cried Mariah in desperation.
Jeff and Abed spotted Britta in the back of the crowd.
"Proud of yourself?" Jeff asked, sidling up to her.
"Yup. No one is using Google and instead they're turning to the librarians. Now they can't shorten their hours, so Annie wins too," Britta whispered conspiratorially.
"You really got all those people to stop using Google?" Abed asked.
"What are they using instead?" Jeff asked.
"Bing: 'Because it's not Google!" she sing-songed.
"Which is... run by Microsoft?" Jeff pointed out.
"Dammit." Britta's shoulders slumped.
"C'mon, dummy, you're new at this. Let's go meet the rest of the group." Jeff said wryly. The three managed to weave through the crowd without losing each other.
"Oh good, everyone is here," said Annie when they stumbled in and closed the door against the crowd of questioning patrons.
"Abed, Troy and I are planning a rally/sit-in in defense of the library," Annie said, flipping open a deep blue notebook and flipping to the back.
"It's the only way," Troy said.
Abed nodded.
"I'm going to sell brownies," Shirley cooed.
"I have no part in this," said Pierce.
"What? You guys, this is insane!" Jeff ripped the notebook from Annie's hand.
"JEFF GIVE THAT BACK TO ME RIGHT NOW!" she screamed.
He held it high above her head and she jumped to retrieve it.
"No! No stupid rallies. This is idiotic." He watched Annie jumping for a beat - he couldn't help it - she was... jiggling.
"GIVE ME BACK MY NOTEBOOK, I NEED IT!" Annie demanded, trying to jump higher.
"Why?"
"I have notes in it!" She stopped jumping and crossed her arms over her boobs. Pity. She pouted and unleashed the Disney eyes.
This was overreacting, even for Annie, who once ripped apart the study room in search of her purple pen. Jeff was suspicious. Keeping the notebook high above her head, he flipped open to the first page.
The rest of the group looked on with interest as Annie started jumping again.
"NONONONONONO!"
The first page looked like a list in bright purple:
Annie - R
Jeff - S
Britta - S
Pierce - S
Abed - H
Troy - G
Shirley - G
Dean Pelton = Dumbledore - sexually ambiguous?
He looked back at the list.
"Annie did you sort us into Houses?" Jeff dropped the notebook into her hands.
She caught it and her cheeks burned with her blush.
"WHAT?" the group exclaimed.
"And you put me in Slytherin?" Jeff demanded. He was a Gryffindor, dammit! Wait a minute, he wasn't anything. Because it was stupid.
There was a sudden rush for Annie's notebook.
The other two Slytherins were just as unhappy.
"And of course you put yourself in Ravenclaw," Britta sneered. "Besides, Pottermore said I was a Hufflepuff!"
"Stop it you guys. I'm taking a Harry Potter class!" Annie shouted, letting that one sink in.
"AWESOME!" Troy and Abed said in unison.
"Can we focus on the rally now?" Shirley asked.
"No!" said Pierce and Jeff simultaneously.
The group turned on them.
"You need to go stand in the corner and think about what you just said," Shirley demanded, pointing them to two corners of the room.
"No?" Jeff said. His voice only wavered a little.
"That's ridiculous," Pierce agreed.
The entire group glared at the two debbie downers.
And the next thing Jeff and Pierce knew, they were standing in the corners, listening to the group plan the rally. Annie had already filed permission with the Dean for next Monday and had downloaded tips for rallies from the American Library Association's website. Britta had taken to her Slytherin role, declaring herself the Prefect and that they should burn books to catch people's attention. Troy told her no, and instead put her in charge of decorating.
Jeff groaned and leaned against the wall. Pierce kept trying to get Jeff's attention, but Jeff learned to ignore him after Shirley yelled at them both.
…
After planning all weekend at Casa de Tro-bed & Annie (Jeff and Pierce were not invited), Monday morning was lost in a haze of set up. Annie even skipped a class (but it was okay, because it was just the review session before the Final on Wednesday).
What resulted was beyond anyone's expectations, except perhaps, Troy, Abed, and Britta's. They had constructed an enormous book fort. The books were divided into sections, staying in call number order (Abed's demand). As a result, they had created areas and lounges for each and every major at Greendale. The chemistry people were chilling in the Q's, the history people were spread through the D's and a bit into the E's. Shirley was selling brownies in the T's. Britta had set up camp in the H's. The primary education majors were taking turns reading picture books aloud to everyone. People were packed into the fort as Abed and Troy took to their stage.
Abed threw down a beat.
Before long, they had the attention of everyone in the fort. Troy began, "Donde, está, la biblioteca? Me llamo T-Bone La araña discoteca."
Abed continued their rap, "Discoteca, muñeca, La biblioteca Está en bigotes grandes, el perro, manteca."
"Manteca, bigotes, gigante, pequeño, la cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno!"
"Buenos dias, me gusta papas frías, los bigotes de la cabra Es Cameron Diaz!"
By the end, the entirety of the fort were on their feet, cheering for Troy, for Abed, and for the library.
"Troy and Abed in a book fort!" they sing-songed, and the show had begun.
They called up students to testify for the library, and to demand that they stay open for 24 hours. The librarians eventually all wandered in, curious about what was going on now in Study Room F. Chang was there, twirling a nightstick in the HV's, keeping a very close eye on Britta.
"I'm simply exercising my right to protest, pig," Britta called, glaring at Chang.
"And I'm simply exercising my right to look at these books about gulags," Chang shot back.
"That's Russia, idiot," Britta taunted.
"Lo-chang-tion, lo-chang-tion, lo-chang-tion!"
After Garrett's testimony, the Dean, seduced by the fervor of the crowd, took the mic to testify himself. "I can't con-DEAN the library shortening its hours, especially since I'm happy that Jeffery and his study group can be on campus at any time. However, I also can't afford to pay the librarians for 24 hours, so you'll have to volunteer your time. Yay, Greendale!"
As one, Mariah and the other librarians crossed their arms.
Jeff had had enough. He jumped up on the stage and took the mic from the Dean (careful not to even brush fingers with him). "Look you guys are being dumb. After last year, after being expelled, haven't we proved that we can band together?"
"You never returned my texts!" came an old voice from the crowd.
"Shut up, Leonard, you know you're not invited!" "As I was saying..." Jeff turned back to the crowd. "Greendale is great. It really is. I am grateful for my time here, something I never would have admitted four years ago. But it's a perfect home... for as long as you need it. And just like every other place you've called home, eventually, you're gonna have to break out of your chrysalis, spread your wings, and fly." He paused as Troy let out a
sob. "The Friends left the coffee shop; Chandler and Monica moved to the burbs, but Joey, he moved to L.A. and got a spin off. Frasier left Cheers and got a radio show in Seattle. Harry Potter dropped out of Hogwarts to go look for Horcruxes.
"I guess what I'm saying is, go look for your Horcruxes. Your kids can come here and have their own college experiences. Because Greendale isn't closing, and neither is the library. Madame Pince over there will still be here when they do."
"I think I should resent that?" Mariah said.
Jeff shrugged.
Mariah marched up and pulled the mic from him. "Right, everyone. It's either we go to shorter hours, or we have to lose journal subscriptions. Starting with Sports Illustrated," she threatened.
As if Mariah had muttered a magic spell, most of the crowd vanished. The Dean muttered something about men's beach volleyball and slipped out of the study room book fort.
"Huh," she said, turning to the study group.
The line of librarians in the back brought in a few carts and began dismantling the fort.
"Thank you for keeping them in LC order, at least," one said to the group.
"My idea," Abed said. Troy and Abed did their handshake before helping the librarians.
"How come I feel like I Britta'd this?" Britta asked sadly as the group clustered around her, drawn by the sudden gravity of the imploding rally.
"Did you just turn your name into a verb?" Mariah asked, looking up from her cart.
"It's been happening for awhile," admitted Abed.
"Does "to Britta" mean to advocate and affect positive change?" Mariah asked.
"No, it means to make a huge mistake. Obviously," Troy rolled his eyes.
Mariah looked perplexed. "But... you guys didn't make a mistake."
"We didn't?" asked Annie.
"No," said one of the other librarians. "We appreciate the free marketing."
"Yeah, you guys rallied around us - we were sure no one would notice that we were shortening the hours. We like being proven wrong, in this case," another chimed in, quickly organizing the books on her cart.
"But we didn't accomplish anything!" Shirley insisted.
"Yeah, actually you did. We're going to leave the library open 24 hours during mid-terms and finals," Mariah said.
"I guess that's better than nothing," said Annie.
"You crammed half the school and a book fort into this library. Quite apart from breaking a few fire codes, it's pretty impressive," a librarian tried to offer comfort.
"Elsie is right. You guys should feel pretty proud of yourself. Now," Mariah said, pushing a cart towards the group, "you can help us put these away."
As it turned out, Abed was a savant at shelving.
The rest of the group managed to shelve one cart to the librarian's two, or in some cases, three. It only took two hours to put back what Abed, Britta, and Troy had pulled without discretion.
As the group met back in study room F to collect their things, Mariah wheeled in one last cart.
"I thought we were done with the books and the shelving!" Troy flailed.
"No no, you are," Mariah soothed. I just pulled some books I thought you guys would like to read over the holiday break.
"I don't read that many books, unless they're novelizations, or somehow critical of pop culture," Abed said.
She pulled a small paperback off her cart. "Remake, by Connie Willis. Known for her science fiction, and this one is about the future of movie making," she pressed it into his hand.
"Cool. Cool cool cool."
To Annie, she passed an ornate black book called The Night Circus by Erin Morganstern. Mariah's eyes gleamed as she did so, silently conveying her love for the novel. To Jeff, she passed Trickster's Choice by Tamora Pierce. "You were a little too specific with those Harry Potter details," she muttered under her breath to him.
"It's not an e-book, and probably never will be, but this guy is hysterical," Mariah said, passing Pierce How I Got This Way by Patrick F. McManus.
Shirley cooed when she was handed The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. Troy looked intrigued by Ransom Riggs' Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.
"And for you, Britta," she passed two books over: Double Fold; libraries and the assault on paper by Nicholson Baker and The Googlization of Everything by Siva Vaidhyanathan. "Use them well."
"Thank you," Britta said.
"Thank you," Mariah insisted. "Now, if you'll excuse me, we're closing in a few minutes..." She pushed her cart out of the room.
The group turned to Jeff.
"Uh, guys, I'm not some speech making machine," he insisted.
"Yes you are," Annie said.
"Statistically speaking," Abed said, not even looking up from his book, "You make about 98% of all speeches in this group."
"Yeah. But I already made mine today, and I stand by it," Jeff flipped through his own book.
"Who wants to come to Casa de Trobed and Annie to study? We have snacks. And Yatzee, we should really play that game," Troy offered.
"I'll bring the brownies. They didn't sell as well as I had hoped," Shirley said.
"And I can teach you guys all about the Founding Fathers," said Pierce.
"Because he remembers them," Jeff muttered.
Britta smiled and ran a finger down the spines of her books. "Do you think I could be a librarian for a psych library?"
"Britta, just write a letter next time," Troy said.
Annie smiled at her book. "You know, they're really good at recommending books. 'The circus arrives without warning,'" she read dreamily.
"Not worried about the library closing, Annie?"
And if by magic, the opening strains of an alternative rock song filtered through the library's PA system.
"Well that's about as creative as Glee club's paintball songs," Annie commented.
Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
Closing time
Once last call for alcohol,so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
The Greendale 7 gathered their things and made their way out into the world, like the song suggested.
Even if the world was, for now anyway, Troy, Abed, and Annie's apartment to study for their final exams.