Northstar fanmix
The life of Jean-Paul Beaubier through music. Hoo boy this was hard.
Rules: Outline your character's history through music. The challenge is to make it in 25 songs or less.
A quick note before we begin: Jean-Paul Beaubier is an incredibly complex character when you look into his history. He's had so much happen in his life, there seemed no possible way to compress it into a mere 25 songs. I managed, barely, but I'm sorry if it seems that I skipped important sections of his life. Know that I did my best.
1. Requiem for a Dream (Piano)
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-Y7trsjKxw&feature=related
Notes: Jean-Paul's life takes a drastic turn as his parents are killed in a horrible car accident and he is separated, seemingly forever, from his twin sister.
(instrumental)
2. To Where You Are - Josh Groban
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTdqdOC2DtI
Notes: He lives in an orphanage, waiting for someone to tell him he is only dreaming and that when he wakes up, his parents will be there again to kiss him goodnight.
Who can say for certain?
Maybe you're still here.
I feel you all around me,
Your memory so clear.
Deep in the stillness,
I can hear you speak.
You're still my inspiration.
Can it be
That you are mine forever, love,
And you are watching over me
From up above?
Fly me up to where you are,
Beyond the distant stars
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for a while, to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen?
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me every day.
'Cause you are mine forever, love,
Watching me from up above.
Fly me up to where you are,
Beyond the distant stars
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for a while, to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there.
A breath away's not far
To where you are.
3. Orphan's Lullaby - Lindsey Teefney
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAu6OM6l0Yg
Notes: Jean-Paul is adopted by distant relatives who were unable to bear children of their own. Even in his moodiness and depressive fits, they hold him tight and kiss his tears away.
Back, back in my arms tonight.
I'll tell you I love you
And hold you tight.
Dream, dream about fine things.
I'll hold you some more until
You wake.
You, you are so lovely, child.
My heart, my dreams, my hopes
Are all for you.
You, you are so lovely, child.
My heart, my dreams, my hopes
Are all for you.
4. Tragedy - Brandi Carlile
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WfHFwMtL5g
Notes: After living with his new parents for a few years, they too are killed in a terrible accident and Jean-Paul is once again left an orphan.
Sorry, I'm only
Human, you know me.
Grown up?
Oh no, guess again.
My days always
Dry up and blow away.
Sometimes I could do that too,
But make no mistake that
When you need a friend,
You could count on anyone,
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy we knew as
The end.
Progress, changing,
Growing then giving up.
Somehow we're never quite prepared,
But I understand it.
When you need a friend,
You could count on anyone,
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy we knew as
The end.
So taking you with me would be like
Taking all your money to the grave.
It does no good to anyone, especially
The one you're trying to save.
But it's so hard not to save.
When you need a friend,
You could count on anyone,
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy we knew as
The end.
5. Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jow7c0EVXeM
Notes: Jean-Paul falls into a bleak depression and his only outlet is the black anger that consumes him. He does finally find a healthier outlet as he pulls himself up out of his moodiness, and even wins an Olympic medal for it: professional skiing.
Oh, look at how she listens.
She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories,
Staring out onto Grey Street.
She thinks, "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can't get out of this place."
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in,
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
How she wishes it was different.
She prays to God almost every night.
And though she swears He doesn't listen,
There's still a hope in her He might.
She says, "I pray,
But they fall on deaf ears.
Am I supposed to take it on myself
To get out of this place?"
There's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in,
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now,
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
There's a stranger, speaks outside her door.
Says, "Take what you can from your dreams.
Make them real as anything.
It will take the work out of the courage."
She says, "Please,
There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door.
I live on the corner of Grey Street,
And at the end of the world."
Oh, there's an emptiness inside her,
And she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now,
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart.
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life.
She could change everything about her,
Using colors bold and bright.
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
And it breaks her heart,
To grey.
6. Broadripple is Burning - Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AovtZ1Zxdw
Notes: Giving into the temptation that's been under his skin for a while now, Jean-Paul loses his virginity to a male stranger in a bathroom stall. It becomes a filthy habit, a dirty secret that eats him alive.
Children, broadripple is burning,
And the girls are getting sick
On huffin' glue up in the bathroom
While your boyfriends pick up chicks.
And darling, I'm lost, I heard you whispering
That night in Fountain Square.
The trash-filled streets made me wish
We were headed home.
And there was love inside the basement
Where that woman used to lie
In a sleeping bag we shared
Upon the floor most every night.
And darling, I'm drunk,
And everything that I have loved has turned to stone.
So pack your bags and come back home.
And I'm wasted, you can taste it.
Don't look at me that way.
'Cause I'll be hanging from a rope,
I will haunt you like a ghost.
And if my woman was a fire,
She'd burn out before I wake,
And be replaced by pints of whiskey,
Cigarettes and outer space.
Then somebody moves,
And everything you thought you had to go to shit,
But we've got a lot, don't ever forget that.
And I wrote this on an airplane
Where the people look like eggs
And when a woman that you loved is gone,
She was bombing east Japan.
And don't fucking move,
'Cause everything you thought you had to go to shit,
And we've got a lot, don't you dare forget that.
And I'm wasted, you can taste it.
Don't look at me that way.
'Cause I'll be hanging from a rope,
I will haunt you like a ghost.
And I'm wasted, you can taste it.
Don't look at me that way.
'Cause I'll be hanging from a rope,
I will haunt you like a ghost.
7. Paris is Burning - St. Vincent
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=306lg4GQ1_o
Notes: Jean-Paul bores of skiing after his powers of super-speed develop, and he gives it up. Desperate for something to rebel against, he joins a terrorist group known as the Front de Liberation du Quebec, a separatist group to win independence for Quebec from Canada. He spends his days setting buildings on fire and causing riots.
I write to give word the war is over.
Send my cinders home to mother.
They gave me a medal for my valor.
Leaden trumpets spit the soot of power. They say,
"I'm on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is.
Come sit right here and sleep while I slip poison in your ear."
We are waiting on a telegram to give us news of the fall.
I am sorry to report dear Paris is burning after all.
We have taken to the streets in open rejoice, revolting.
We are a dancing a black waltz, fair Paris is burning after all.
Enclosed in this letter there's a picture
Black and white for your refrigerator.
Sticks and stones have made me smarter.
It's words that cut me under my armor. They say,
"I'm on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is.
Come sit right here and sleep while I slip poison in your ear."
We are waiting on a telegram to give us news of the fall.
I am sorry to report dear Paris is burning after all.
We have taken to the streets in open rejoice, revolting.
We are a dancing a black waltz, fair Paris is burning after all.
Dance, poor people, dance and drown.
Dance fair Paris to the ground.
Dance, poor people, dance and drown.
Dance fair Paris, ashes now.
8. Runaway - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QqArc12juQ
Notes: Renouncing terrorism, Jean-Paul joins a newly-formed Canadian superhero team known as Alpha Flight to make use of his new abilities. There, he shakes hands with what he thinks is a stranger, and the two generate a bright light on contact with one another. After their entire life apart, he has been reunited with his sister at last, and he vows never to lose her again.
I was feeling sad.
Can't help looking back.
Highways flew by.
Run, run away.
No sense of time.
Like you to stay,
Want to keep you inside.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
I was feeling sad.
Can't help looking back.
Highways flew by.
Run, run away.
No sense of time.
Like you to stay,
Want to keep you inside.
All alone, not so strong
Without these open arms.
Hold on tight.
All alone, not that strong
Without these open arms.
Lie beside.
All alone, not so strong
Without these open arms.
Lie beside.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
9. Turning Tables - Adele
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx7sLNyIeQk
Notes: After a gruesome battle with Deadly Earnest, JP's mentor is killed. Jean-Paul blames his sister for the death, asking if she "romanced her way to safety." Jeanne-Marie stops speaking to him, and the twins have a terrible falling out.
The song may have originally had romantic undertones, but I am using it for sibling love, not romantic love.
Close enough to start a war,
All that I have is on the floor.
God only knows what we're fighting for.
All that I say, you always say more.
I can't keep up with your turning tables.
Under your thumb, I can't breathe.
So I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me.
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.
Under haunted skies, I see you.
Where love is lost, your ghost is found.
I braved a hundred storms to leave you.
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down.
I can't keep up with your turning tables.
Under your thumb, I can't breathe.
So I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me.
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.
Next time, I'll be braver.
I'll be my own savior
When thunder calls for me.
Next time, I'll be braver.
I'll be my own savior,
Standing on my own two feet.
I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me.
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.
10. Moonlight Sonata - Ludwig van Beethoven
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck&feature=related
Notes: In a fit of anger, Jeanne-Marie allows her lover, Sasquatch, to tamper with her powers so that she no longer needs Jean-Paul to generate light. This causes their powers to negate each other when they touch, and it is a crushing blow of abandonment to Jean-Paul once again, causing him to quit Alpha Flight.
(instrumental)
11. I Want To Sing - Regina Spektor
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AFPjU-GQMY
Notes: Walter Langowski (Sasquatch) has been a long term member of Alpha Flight, and also Jeanne-Marie's lover. Jean-Paul falls hopelessly in love, and even though he tries to cover it with anger and arrogance, it doesn't push the feeling away.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
Take off your shoes, take off my dress.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
This too shall pass, this too shall pass.
Tell me, tell me, what have I done to deserve you?
Must have done something, 'cause that's how it works.
Must have been kind to kittens and birds in a previous life,
Must have thought happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
'Cause there, you were there right beside me,
And somehow inside me while inside myself.
Books on the shelf, thoughts on the shelf,
Hands to myself, I should definitely keep my hands to myself,
'Cause love is a dangerous pastime,
Caught between madness and gladness and light.
Nothing is wrong, nothing is right.
Falling asleep in your arms every night.
Love's such a strange situation,
Full of frustration and anger and fear.
Everything's dear, nobody hears, nobody's here and nobody hears.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
Take off your shoes, take off my dress.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
This too shall pass, this too shall pass.
12. Weapon - Matthew Good
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOee1xTUubc
Notes: Jeanne-Marie comes to her brother in tears, seeking help. An emergency strikes and the twins reconcile to defeat the enemy. However, in the process, Sasquatch is killed and Jean-Paul takes it upon himself to comfort his grieving sister.
Here by my side, an angel.
Here by my side, the devil.
Never turn your back on me,
Never turn your back on me again.
Here by my side, it's Heaven.
Here by my side, you are destruction.
Here by my side, a new color to paint the world.
Never turn your back on it,
Never turn your back on it again.
Here by my side, it's Heaven.
Careful, be careful.
Careful, be careful.
This is where the world drops off,
Where the world drops off.
Careful, be careful.
You breathe in and you breathe out
For it ain't so weird,
How it makes you a weapon.
And you give in and you give out
For it ain't so weird,
How it makes you a weapon.
Never turn your back on it.
Never turn your back on it again.
Careful, be careful.
Here by my side, it's Heaven.
13. Hospital Song - 10cc
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujh1P0Syjos
Notes: Jean-Paul becomes critically ill and on the verge of death. In the face of oblivion, he is still sarcastic and cruel and biting as ever.
Nobody sends me birthday cards,
Nobody brings me flowers.
I'm just here for operations,
I've been out for hours.
When I come to, I'll wet my bed,
'Cause when I get mad, I sink so low,
As matron knows.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
And when I go to that seedy ward up in the sky,
You'll be waiting with a hypodermic needle and a graph.
Here comes the dark.
(I'm grateful for my anesthetic)
Out goes the spark.
(Delirious and apathetic)
When I come too, I'll wet my bad.
And when I get well, I'll take revenge.
I'll wreak my wrath
On all blood donors and their sisters,
Visiting time and flowers.
When sister brings that bedpan round,
I'll piss like April showers.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
And when I go, I'll die of plaster casting love.
14. Hymn - Adiemus
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiznWaaitXE
Notes: Jeanne-Marie uses her new light powers to heal her dying brother and the two are reconciled, their powers back to normal, and Jeanne-Marie sobs on him in apology for ever threatening to leave his side.
(vocal)
15. Daddy's Little Girl - Michael Buble
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZcRH2V_Cfs
Notes: During a battle, Jean-Paul discovers a baby abandoned in an alleyway. He took her to the doctor and was told the baby was dying of AIDS, infected with HIV in the womb. He adopts her formally, naming her Joanne Beaubier, and became much too attached to the girl for his own good.
You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold.
You're daddy's little girl, to have and hold.
A precious gem is what you are,
You're mommy's bright and shining star.
You're the spirit of Christmas, the star on our tree.
You're the Easter bunny, for mommy and me.
You're sugar, you're spice, you're everything nice,
And you're daddy's little girl.
You're a treasure I cherish, all sparkling and bright.
You were touched by Holy and beautiful light.
Like the angels who sing, a Heavenly thing,
And you're daddy's little girl.
16. Yellow Butterfly - Meg and Dia
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9kIxlrlnI4
Notes: Several attempts to remind the public about the dangers of AIDS do nothing for the baby, and she dies weeks later. Her death prompts him to come out of the closet, and the crushing depression he suffers causes him to leave Alpha Flight for good, unable to handle the guilt. He takes up drinking to get himself to sleep and getting himself into reckless situations as a means of self-harm, all the while his own sister ignoring him.
She was five years old,
A slightly moody day.
She couldn't stay away
From that river's edge and I,
I turned my back to count
All the daffodil seeds that surrounded.
I closed my eyes and then heard the water wake up.
And I, I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering in the air, everywhere,
"Mother, please, save me.
Grab my hand, I can't, I can't--"
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves.
Baby, please, breathe for me,
Give me time, I am here.
Where did you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday,
I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it.
It took her away.
It's been five years since then,
And when it hits September,
I feel like I'm dying again.
Ian still won't even talk to me, talk to me.
Isn't this pain guilt enough?
I can't even look out the window
Without seeing reflections distorted in the sun.
And I, I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering in the air, everywhere,
"Mother, please, save me.
Grab my hand, I can't, I can't--"
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves.
Baby, please, breathe for me,
Give me time, I am here.
Where did you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday,
I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it.
It took her away.
When the pain hits me like a gunshot,
And I'm heading on the way to the floor,
I hear her name and it kills me.
Bottles up, bottles up, bottles up.
And I'm trying my best to hurt me.
Ian says it's never enough.
Razor to the wrist for each unshed tear.
Cough it up, drink it up, drink it up.
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me, lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday,
I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it.
It took her away.
So I had a coma
When I crashed my car in the lake.
And I saw your face, darling,
I knew it was no mistake.
So I went to the doctor,
And I told him that my heart would break
If I couldn't see you.
He just gave me more pills.
And I saw you up there,
Still floating by the river.
God, you always loved that river.
I bet your heaven looks just like it.
Then I'll like it too.
Even though it scares me now,
But when I'm with you,
I'll be just fine.
I'll be just fine.
We can sit,
We can talk about,
Talk about
Butterflies.
Butterflies.
Butterflies.
Butterflies.
17. I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miserables
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irhtXBAR-yU
Notes: Jean-Paul comes out of the closet in the hope that he will become a role model in the weeks after Joanne's death. Instead, it paints him as a target for the public to abuse and laugh at. It causes him to leave Alpha Flight again, this time for good, and he writes a book about being a gay mutant titled Born Normal, a memoir of his struggles to fit into society.
There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time... then it all went wrong.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
When I was young and unafraid,
When dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine untasted.
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart,
As they turn your dreams to shame.
He slept a summer by my side,
Filled my days with endless wonder.
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came.
And still I dream he'll come to me,
And we will live the years together.
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we cannot weather.
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living.
So different now from what it seemed.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
18. Lost Cause - Beck
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnA7AyOuyc4
Notes: Northstar officially joins the X-Men, becoming a teacher of business, economics, and French. He makes friends with Annie, the school's nurse, who encourages Jean-Paul's crush on him even though Bobby is seemingly straight. JP flirts playfully with Bobby but doesn't want to start anything due to Bobby being a lost cause -- after all, Bobby is still in love with Annie, and he can see the grief over her clear as day, and wants to take Bobby into his arms but holds himself back.
Your sorry eyes, they cut through bone,
They make it hard to leave you alone.
Leave you here, wearing your wounds,
Waving your guns at somebody new.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're a lost cause.
There's too many people you used to know,
They see you come and they see you go.
They know your secrets and you know theirs.
This town is crazy; nobody cares.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're a lost cause.
I'm tired of fighting.
I'm tired of fighting.
Fighting for a lost cause.
There's a place where you are going
You ain't never been before.
No one left to watch your back now,
No one standing at your door,
That's what you thought love was for.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're a lost cause.
I'm tired of fighting.
I'm tired of fighting.
Fighting for a lost cause.
19. Witness - Sarah McLachlan
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIuif-wc6yo
Notes: Jean-Paul finds Piotr (Colossus) in a moment of desperate need and grief. Piotr comforts him like nobody ever has and the two wind up in bed and in love. Despite the new relationship, Jean-Paul's depression doesn't fade.
Make me a witness. Take me out,
Out of darkness, out of doubt.
I won't weigh you down with good intentions,
Won't make fire out of clay, or other inventions.
Will we burn in Heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.
And when we're done soul-searching,
And we carry the weight, and die for a cause.
Is misery made beautiful right before our eyes?
Mercy may be revealed, or blind us where we stand.
Will we burn in Heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.
Will we burn in Heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.
20. Heavy In Your Arms - Florence and the Machine
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BELNiWGF0aM
Notes: Piotr begins to have interests in Kitty Pryde. Jean-Paul just thinks that he should have seen this coming, for his heart is a heavy burden to carry, and everyone leaves eventually.
I was a heavy heart to carry.
My beloved was weighed down,
My arms around his neck,
My fingers laced to crown.
I was a heavy heart to carry.
My feet dragged across the ground,
And he took me to the river,
Where he slowly let me drown.
My love has concrete feet,
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall.
I'm so heavy, heavy, heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, heavy in your arms.
And is it worth the wait,
All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand,
Protecting both your heart and mine?
Who is the betrayer?
Who's the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn't make a sound.
My love has concrete feet,
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall.
My love has concrete feet,
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall.
I'm so heavy, heavy, heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, so heavy in your arms.
This will be my last confession:
"I love you" never felt like any blessing,
Whispering like it's a secret,
Only to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart.
Heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I was a heavy heart to carry.
My beloved was weighed down,
My arms around his neck,
My fingers laced to crown.
I was a heavy heart to carry,
But he never let me down.
When he had me in his arms,
My feet never touched the ground.
I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms.
Heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
21. Take It All - Adele
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0DdXhFVcEg
Notes: Piotr inevitably leaves him for Kitty. Jean-Paul can only wonder what he'd done wrong.
Didn't I give it all?
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less.
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?
Maybe you got too used to
Having me around.
Still, how can you walk away
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road
Without me right here.
But go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
Maybe I should leave
To help you see
Nothing is better than this,
And this is everything we need.
So is it over?
Is this really it?
You're giving up so easily.
I thought you loved me more than this.
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
I will change if I must,
Slow it down and bring it home.
I will adjust.
Oh, if only, if only you knew:
Everything I do is for you.
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it, take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
22. Wild Is the Wind - Cat Power
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJE0GufdRvI
Notes: Jean-Paul's love for Bobby consumes him. Annie sets them up on a dinner date, but Bobby goes off with a woman who clearly has the intent to sleep with him. Heartbroken and disappointed, JP swears off of pursuing Bobby any further with the statement, "He's straight, Annie. That's all there is to it."
Love me, love me. Say you do.
Let me fly away with you.
We are creatures of the wind.
Wild is the wind.
Give me more than one caress.
Satisfy this hungriness.
We are creatures of the wind.
Wild is the wind.
You touch me,
I hear the sounds of mandolins, baby.
You kiss me,
With your kiss, my life begins.
Like a leaf clings to a tree,
Baby, please cling to me.
We are creatures of the wind.
Wild is the wind.
You touch me,
I hear the sounds of mandolins.
You kiss me,
With your kiss, my life begins.
Love me, love me. Say you do.
Let me fly away with you.
23. Storm - Lifehouse
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU6AhH2a1cU
Notes: Discovering his old friend, Logan, has been kidnapped and brainwashed by HYDRA, JP and the X-Men quickly go to stop him. However, during the fight, Logan sinks his claws into Jean-Paul's chest, effectively killing him. Elixir's healing powers manage to heal his wounds but he is unable to revive him. In his last moments, Jean-Paul finds himself thinking of Bobby.
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form.
Water's getting harder to tread,
With these waves crashing over my head.
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be alright.
I know everything is alright.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown.
So why am I ten feet under and upside-down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose,
'Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be alright.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be alright.
I know everything is alright.
Everything's alright, yeah,
Everything's alright.
24. God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guocvS7XQW0
Notes: Resurrected by HYDRA, Jean-Paul is brainwashed and under the impression that the X-Men are actually the evil ones; he rounds up his sister and they brainwash her as well, proceeding to sic them on the X-Men. The attack sends a clear message. (Think God = HYDRA)
You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Go tell that long-tongued liar,
Go and tell that midnight rider,
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
Well, my goodness gracious, let me tell you the news.
My head's been wet with the midnight dew.
I've been down on bended knee,
Talking to the man from Galilee.
He spoke to me in a voice so sweet,
I thought I heard the shuffle of angel's feet.
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John, go do my will."
Go tell that long-tongued liar,
Go and tell that midnight rider,
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Well, you may throw your rock and hide your hand,
Working in the dark against your fellow man.
But as sure as God made black and white,
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light.
You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Go tell that long-tongued liar,
Go and tell that midnight rider,
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down.
25. Mad World - Gary Jules
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfR238kimYU
Notes: Jean-Paul and his sister are returned to their normal state after intense work erasing the damage done to their fragile psyches. The reformation of a normal life seems impossible, and Jean-Paul is submerged in a bleak depression as he tries in vain to go back to the way things were. He relives his death in the back of his mind again and again and has night terrors so awful they leave him sobbing.
All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places, worn out faces.
Bright and early for their daily races,
Going nowhere, going nowhere.
Their tears are filling up their glasses,
No expression, no expression.
Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow.
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.
And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles,
It's a very, very mad world.
Children waiting for the day they feel good,
Happy birthday, happy birthday.
And I feel the way that every child should:
Sit and listen, sit and listen.
Went to school and I was very nervous.
No one knew me, no one knew me.
Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me.
And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles,
It's a very, very mad world.
Rules: Outline your character's history through music. The challenge is to make it in 25 songs or less.
A quick note before we begin: Jean-Paul Beaubier is an incredibly complex character when you look into his history. He's had so much happen in his life, there seemed no possible way to compress it into a mere 25 songs. I managed, barely, but I'm sorry if it seems that I skipped important sections of his life. Know that I did my best.
1. Requiem for a Dream (Piano)
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-Y7trsjKxw&feature=related
Notes: Jean-Paul's life takes a drastic turn as his parents are killed in a horrible car accident and he is separated, seemingly forever, from his twin sister.
(instrumental)
2. To Where You Are - Josh Groban
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTdqdOC2DtI
Notes: He lives in an orphanage, waiting for someone to tell him he is only dreaming and that when he wakes up, his parents will be there again to kiss him goodnight.
Who can say for certain?
Maybe you're still here.
I feel you all around me,
Your memory so clear.
Deep in the stillness,
I can hear you speak.
You're still my inspiration.
Can it be
That you are mine forever, love,
And you are watching over me
From up above?
Fly me up to where you are,
Beyond the distant stars
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for a while, to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen?
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me every day.
'Cause you are mine forever, love,
Watching me from up above.
Fly me up to where you are,
Beyond the distant stars
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for a while, to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there.
A breath away's not far
To where you are.
3. Orphan's Lullaby - Lindsey Teefney
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAu6OM6l0Yg
Notes: Jean-Paul is adopted by distant relatives who were unable to bear children of their own. Even in his moodiness and depressive fits, they hold him tight and kiss his tears away.
Back, back in my arms tonight.
I'll tell you I love you
And hold you tight.
Dream, dream about fine things.
I'll hold you some more until
You wake.
You, you are so lovely, child.
My heart, my dreams, my hopes
Are all for you.
You, you are so lovely, child.
My heart, my dreams, my hopes
Are all for you.
4. Tragedy - Brandi Carlile
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WfHFwMtL5g
Notes: After living with his new parents for a few years, they too are killed in a terrible accident and Jean-Paul is once again left an orphan.
Sorry, I'm only
Human, you know me.
Grown up?
Oh no, guess again.
My days always
Dry up and blow away.
Sometimes I could do that too,
But make no mistake that
When you need a friend,
You could count on anyone,
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy we knew as
The end.
Progress, changing,
Growing then giving up.
Somehow we're never quite prepared,
But I understand it.
When you need a friend,
You could count on anyone,
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy we knew as
The end.
So taking you with me would be like
Taking all your money to the grave.
It does no good to anyone, especially
The one you're trying to save.
But it's so hard not to save.
When you need a friend,
You could count on anyone,
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy we knew as
The end.
5. Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jow7c0EVXeM
Notes: Jean-Paul falls into a bleak depression and his only outlet is the black anger that consumes him. He does finally find a healthier outlet as he pulls himself up out of his moodiness, and even wins an Olympic medal for it: professional skiing.
Oh, look at how she listens.
She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories,
Staring out onto Grey Street.
She thinks, "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can't get out of this place."
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in,
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
How she wishes it was different.
She prays to God almost every night.
And though she swears He doesn't listen,
There's still a hope in her He might.
She says, "I pray,
But they fall on deaf ears.
Am I supposed to take it on myself
To get out of this place?"
There's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in,
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now,
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
There's a stranger, speaks outside her door.
Says, "Take what you can from your dreams.
Make them real as anything.
It will take the work out of the courage."
She says, "Please,
There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door.
I live on the corner of Grey Street,
And at the end of the world."
Oh, there's an emptiness inside her,
And she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now,
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart.
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life.
She could change everything about her,
Using colors bold and bright.
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
And it breaks her heart,
To grey.
6. Broadripple is Burning - Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AovtZ1Zxdw
Notes: Giving into the temptation that's been under his skin for a while now, Jean-Paul loses his virginity to a male stranger in a bathroom stall. It becomes a filthy habit, a dirty secret that eats him alive.
Children, broadripple is burning,
And the girls are getting sick
On huffin' glue up in the bathroom
While your boyfriends pick up chicks.
And darling, I'm lost, I heard you whispering
That night in Fountain Square.
The trash-filled streets made me wish
We were headed home.
And there was love inside the basement
Where that woman used to lie
In a sleeping bag we shared
Upon the floor most every night.
And darling, I'm drunk,
And everything that I have loved has turned to stone.
So pack your bags and come back home.
And I'm wasted, you can taste it.
Don't look at me that way.
'Cause I'll be hanging from a rope,
I will haunt you like a ghost.
And if my woman was a fire,
She'd burn out before I wake,
And be replaced by pints of whiskey,
Cigarettes and outer space.
Then somebody moves,
And everything you thought you had to go to shit,
But we've got a lot, don't ever forget that.
And I wrote this on an airplane
Where the people look like eggs
And when a woman that you loved is gone,
She was bombing east Japan.
And don't fucking move,
'Cause everything you thought you had to go to shit,
And we've got a lot, don't you dare forget that.
And I'm wasted, you can taste it.
Don't look at me that way.
'Cause I'll be hanging from a rope,
I will haunt you like a ghost.
And I'm wasted, you can taste it.
Don't look at me that way.
'Cause I'll be hanging from a rope,
I will haunt you like a ghost.
7. Paris is Burning - St. Vincent
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=306lg4GQ1_o
Notes: Jean-Paul bores of skiing after his powers of super-speed develop, and he gives it up. Desperate for something to rebel against, he joins a terrorist group known as the Front de Liberation du Quebec, a separatist group to win independence for Quebec from Canada. He spends his days setting buildings on fire and causing riots.
I write to give word the war is over.
Send my cinders home to mother.
They gave me a medal for my valor.
Leaden trumpets spit the soot of power. They say,
"I'm on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is.
Come sit right here and sleep while I slip poison in your ear."
We are waiting on a telegram to give us news of the fall.
I am sorry to report dear Paris is burning after all.
We have taken to the streets in open rejoice, revolting.
We are a dancing a black waltz, fair Paris is burning after all.
Enclosed in this letter there's a picture
Black and white for your refrigerator.
Sticks and stones have made me smarter.
It's words that cut me under my armor. They say,
"I'm on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is.
Come sit right here and sleep while I slip poison in your ear."
We are waiting on a telegram to give us news of the fall.
I am sorry to report dear Paris is burning after all.
We have taken to the streets in open rejoice, revolting.
We are a dancing a black waltz, fair Paris is burning after all.
Dance, poor people, dance and drown.
Dance fair Paris to the ground.
Dance, poor people, dance and drown.
Dance fair Paris, ashes now.
8. Runaway - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QqArc12juQ
Notes: Renouncing terrorism, Jean-Paul joins a newly-formed Canadian superhero team known as Alpha Flight to make use of his new abilities. There, he shakes hands with what he thinks is a stranger, and the two generate a bright light on contact with one another. After their entire life apart, he has been reunited with his sister at last, and he vows never to lose her again.
I was feeling sad.
Can't help looking back.
Highways flew by.
Run, run away.
No sense of time.
Like you to stay,
Want to keep you inside.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
I was feeling sad.
Can't help looking back.
Highways flew by.
Run, run away.
No sense of time.
Like you to stay,
Want to keep you inside.
All alone, not so strong
Without these open arms.
Hold on tight.
All alone, not that strong
Without these open arms.
Lie beside.
All alone, not so strong
Without these open arms.
Lie beside.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
Run, run, run away.
Lost, lost, lost my mind.
Like you to stay,
Want you to be my prize.
9. Turning Tables - Adele
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx7sLNyIeQk
Notes: After a gruesome battle with Deadly Earnest, JP's mentor is killed. Jean-Paul blames his sister for the death, asking if she "romanced her way to safety." Jeanne-Marie stops speaking to him, and the twins have a terrible falling out.
The song may have originally had romantic undertones, but I am using it for sibling love, not romantic love.
Close enough to start a war,
All that I have is on the floor.
God only knows what we're fighting for.
All that I say, you always say more.
I can't keep up with your turning tables.
Under your thumb, I can't breathe.
So I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me.
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.
Under haunted skies, I see you.
Where love is lost, your ghost is found.
I braved a hundred storms to leave you.
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down.
I can't keep up with your turning tables.
Under your thumb, I can't breathe.
So I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me.
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.
Next time, I'll be braver.
I'll be my own savior
When thunder calls for me.
Next time, I'll be braver.
I'll be my own savior,
Standing on my own two feet.
I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me.
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.
10. Moonlight Sonata - Ludwig van Beethoven
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck&feature=related
Notes: In a fit of anger, Jeanne-Marie allows her lover, Sasquatch, to tamper with her powers so that she no longer needs Jean-Paul to generate light. This causes their powers to negate each other when they touch, and it is a crushing blow of abandonment to Jean-Paul once again, causing him to quit Alpha Flight.
(instrumental)
11. I Want To Sing - Regina Spektor
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AFPjU-GQMY
Notes: Walter Langowski (Sasquatch) has been a long term member of Alpha Flight, and also Jeanne-Marie's lover. Jean-Paul falls hopelessly in love, and even though he tries to cover it with anger and arrogance, it doesn't push the feeling away.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
Take off your shoes, take off my dress.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
This too shall pass, this too shall pass.
Tell me, tell me, what have I done to deserve you?
Must have done something, 'cause that's how it works.
Must have been kind to kittens and birds in a previous life,
Must have thought happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
'Cause there, you were there right beside me,
And somehow inside me while inside myself.
Books on the shelf, thoughts on the shelf,
Hands to myself, I should definitely keep my hands to myself,
'Cause love is a dangerous pastime,
Caught between madness and gladness and light.
Nothing is wrong, nothing is right.
Falling asleep in your arms every night.
Love's such a strange situation,
Full of frustration and anger and fear.
Everything's dear, nobody hears, nobody's here and nobody hears.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
Take off your shoes, take off my dress.
I want to sing to you, my love,
My only love and happiness.
Don't be so blue, so blue, my love.
This too shall pass, this too shall pass.
12. Weapon - Matthew Good
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOee1xTUubc
Notes: Jeanne-Marie comes to her brother in tears, seeking help. An emergency strikes and the twins reconcile to defeat the enemy. However, in the process, Sasquatch is killed and Jean-Paul takes it upon himself to comfort his grieving sister.
Here by my side, an angel.
Here by my side, the devil.
Never turn your back on me,
Never turn your back on me again.
Here by my side, it's Heaven.
Here by my side, you are destruction.
Here by my side, a new color to paint the world.
Never turn your back on it,
Never turn your back on it again.
Here by my side, it's Heaven.
Careful, be careful.
Careful, be careful.
This is where the world drops off,
Where the world drops off.
Careful, be careful.
You breathe in and you breathe out
For it ain't so weird,
How it makes you a weapon.
And you give in and you give out
For it ain't so weird,
How it makes you a weapon.
Never turn your back on it.
Never turn your back on it again.
Careful, be careful.
Here by my side, it's Heaven.
13. Hospital Song - 10cc
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujh1P0Syjos
Notes: Jean-Paul becomes critically ill and on the verge of death. In the face of oblivion, he is still sarcastic and cruel and biting as ever.
Nobody sends me birthday cards,
Nobody brings me flowers.
I'm just here for operations,
I've been out for hours.
When I come to, I'll wet my bed,
'Cause when I get mad, I sink so low,
As matron knows.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
And when I go to that seedy ward up in the sky,
You'll be waiting with a hypodermic needle and a graph.
Here comes the dark.
(I'm grateful for my anesthetic)
Out goes the spark.
(Delirious and apathetic)
When I come too, I'll wet my bad.
And when I get well, I'll take revenge.
I'll wreak my wrath
On all blood donors and their sisters,
Visiting time and flowers.
When sister brings that bedpan round,
I'll piss like April showers.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
I get off on what you give me, darling.
I get off on what you give to me.
And when I go, I'll die of plaster casting love.
14. Hymn - Adiemus
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiznWaaitXE
Notes: Jeanne-Marie uses her new light powers to heal her dying brother and the two are reconciled, their powers back to normal, and Jeanne-Marie sobs on him in apology for ever threatening to leave his side.
(vocal)
15. Daddy's Little Girl - Michael Buble
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZcRH2V_Cfs
Notes: During a battle, Jean-Paul discovers a baby abandoned in an alleyway. He took her to the doctor and was told the baby was dying of AIDS, infected with HIV in the womb. He adopts her formally, naming her Joanne Beaubier, and became much too attached to the girl for his own good.
You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold.
You're daddy's little girl, to have and hold.
A precious gem is what you are,
You're mommy's bright and shining star.
You're the spirit of Christmas, the star on our tree.
You're the Easter bunny, for mommy and me.
You're sugar, you're spice, you're everything nice,
And you're daddy's little girl.
You're a treasure I cherish, all sparkling and bright.
You were touched by Holy and beautiful light.
Like the angels who sing, a Heavenly thing,
And you're daddy's little girl.
16. Yellow Butterfly - Meg and Dia
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9kIxlrlnI4
Notes: Several attempts to remind the public about the dangers of AIDS do nothing for the baby, and she dies weeks later. Her death prompts him to come out of the closet, and the crushing depression he suffers causes him to leave Alpha Flight for good, unable to handle the guilt. He takes up drinking to get himself to sleep and getting himself into reckless situations as a means of self-harm, all the while his own sister ignoring him.
She was five years old,
A slightly moody day.
She couldn't stay away
From that river's edge and I,
I turned my back to count
All the daffodil seeds that surrounded.
I closed my eyes and then heard the water wake up.
And I, I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering in the air, everywhere,
"Mother, please, save me.
Grab my hand, I can't, I can't--"
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves.
Baby, please, breathe for me,
Give me time, I am here.
Where did you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday,
I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it.
It took her away.
It's been five years since then,
And when it hits September,
I feel like I'm dying again.
Ian still won't even talk to me, talk to me.
Isn't this pain guilt enough?
I can't even look out the window
Without seeing reflections distorted in the sun.
And I, I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering in the air, everywhere,
"Mother, please, save me.
Grab my hand, I can't, I can't--"
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves.
Baby, please, breathe for me,
Give me time, I am here.
Where did you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday,
I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it.
It took her away.
When the pain hits me like a gunshot,
And I'm heading on the way to the floor,
I hear her name and it kills me.
Bottles up, bottles up, bottles up.
And I'm trying my best to hurt me.
Ian says it's never enough.
Razor to the wrist for each unshed tear.
Cough it up, drink it up, drink it up.
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me, lie to me?
She's home, she's home, crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday,
I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes, the place that baby loved.
Now she can taste it.
It took her away.
So I had a coma
When I crashed my car in the lake.
And I saw your face, darling,
I knew it was no mistake.
So I went to the doctor,
And I told him that my heart would break
If I couldn't see you.
He just gave me more pills.
And I saw you up there,
Still floating by the river.
God, you always loved that river.
I bet your heaven looks just like it.
Then I'll like it too.
Even though it scares me now,
But when I'm with you,
I'll be just fine.
I'll be just fine.
We can sit,
We can talk about,
Talk about
Butterflies.
Butterflies.
Butterflies.
Butterflies.
17. I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miserables
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irhtXBAR-yU
Notes: Jean-Paul comes out of the closet in the hope that he will become a role model in the weeks after Joanne's death. Instead, it paints him as a target for the public to abuse and laugh at. It causes him to leave Alpha Flight again, this time for good, and he writes a book about being a gay mutant titled Born Normal, a memoir of his struggles to fit into society.
There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time... then it all went wrong.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
When I was young and unafraid,
When dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine untasted.
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart,
As they turn your dreams to shame.
He slept a summer by my side,
Filled my days with endless wonder.
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came.
And still I dream he'll come to me,
And we will live the years together.
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we cannot weather.
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living.
So different now from what it seemed.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
18. Lost Cause - Beck
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnA7AyOuyc4
Notes: Northstar officially joins the X-Men, becoming a teacher of business, economics, and French. He makes friends with Annie, the school's nurse, who encourages Jean-Paul's crush on him even though Bobby is seemingly straight. JP flirts playfully with Bobby but doesn't want to start anything due to Bobby being a lost cause -- after all, Bobby is still in love with Annie, and he can see the grief over her clear as day, and wants to take Bobby into his arms but holds himself back.
Your sorry eyes, they cut through bone,
They make it hard to leave you alone.
Leave you here, wearing your wounds,
Waving your guns at somebody new.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're a lost cause.
There's too many people you used to know,
They see you come and they see you go.
They know your secrets and you know theirs.
This town is crazy; nobody cares.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're a lost cause.
I'm tired of fighting.
I'm tired of fighting.
Fighting for a lost cause.
There's a place where you are going
You ain't never been before.
No one left to watch your back now,
No one standing at your door,
That's what you thought love was for.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're lost.
Baby, you're a lost cause.
I'm tired of fighting.
I'm tired of fighting.
Fighting for a lost cause.
19. Witness - Sarah McLachlan
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIuif-wc6yo
Notes: Jean-Paul finds Piotr (Colossus) in a moment of desperate need and grief. Piotr comforts him like nobody ever has and the two wind up in bed and in love. Despite the new relationship, Jean-Paul's depression doesn't fade.
Make me a witness. Take me out,
Out of darkness, out of doubt.
I won't weigh you down with good intentions,
Won't make fire out of clay, or other inventions.
Will we burn in Heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.
And when we're done soul-searching,
And we carry the weight, and die for a cause.
Is misery made beautiful right before our eyes?
Mercy may be revealed, or blind us where we stand.
Will we burn in Heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.
Will we burn in Heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.
20. Heavy In Your Arms - Florence and the Machine
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BELNiWGF0aM
Notes: Piotr begins to have interests in Kitty Pryde. Jean-Paul just thinks that he should have seen this coming, for his heart is a heavy burden to carry, and everyone leaves eventually.
I was a heavy heart to carry.
My beloved was weighed down,
My arms around his neck,
My fingers laced to crown.
I was a heavy heart to carry.
My feet dragged across the ground,
And he took me to the river,
Where he slowly let me drown.
My love has concrete feet,
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall.
I'm so heavy, heavy, heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, heavy in your arms.
And is it worth the wait,
All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand,
Protecting both your heart and mine?
Who is the betrayer?
Who's the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn't make a sound.
My love has concrete feet,
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall.
My love has concrete feet,
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall.
I'm so heavy, heavy, heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, so heavy in your arms.
This will be my last confession:
"I love you" never felt like any blessing,
Whispering like it's a secret,
Only to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart.
Heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I'm so heavy, heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
I was a heavy heart to carry.
My beloved was weighed down,
My arms around his neck,
My fingers laced to crown.
I was a heavy heart to carry,
But he never let me down.
When he had me in his arms,
My feet never touched the ground.
I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms.
Heavy, I'm so heavy in your arms.
21. Take It All - Adele
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0DdXhFVcEg
Notes: Piotr inevitably leaves him for Kitty. Jean-Paul can only wonder what he'd done wrong.
Didn't I give it all?
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less.
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?
Maybe you got too used to
Having me around.
Still, how can you walk away
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road
Without me right here.
But go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
Maybe I should leave
To help you see
Nothing is better than this,
And this is everything we need.
So is it over?
Is this really it?
You're giving up so easily.
I thought you loved me more than this.
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
I will change if I must,
Slow it down and bring it home.
I will adjust.
Oh, if only, if only you knew:
Everything I do is for you.
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it, take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
Take it all with my love.
22. Wild Is the Wind - Cat Power
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJE0GufdRvI
Notes: Jean-Paul's love for Bobby consumes him. Annie sets them up on a dinner date, but Bobby goes off with a woman who clearly has the intent to sleep with him. Heartbroken and disappointed, JP swears off of pursuing Bobby any further with the statement, "He's straight, Annie. That's all there is to it."
Love me, love me. Say you do.
Let me fly away with you.
We are creatures of the wind.
Wild is the wind.
Give me more than one caress.
Satisfy this hungriness.
We are creatures of the wind.
Wild is the wind.
You touch me,
I hear the sounds of mandolins, baby.
You kiss me,
With your kiss, my life begins.
Like a leaf clings to a tree,
Baby, please cling to me.
We are creatures of the wind.
Wild is the wind.
You touch me,
I hear the sounds of mandolins.
You kiss me,
With your kiss, my life begins.
Love me, love me. Say you do.
Let me fly away with you.
23. Storm - Lifehouse
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU6AhH2a1cU
Notes: Discovering his old friend, Logan, has been kidnapped and brainwashed by HYDRA, JP and the X-Men quickly go to stop him. However, during the fight, Logan sinks his claws into Jean-Paul's chest, effectively killing him. Elixir's healing powers manage to heal his wounds but he is unable to revive him. In his last moments, Jean-Paul finds himself thinking of Bobby.
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form.
Water's getting harder to tread,
With these waves crashing over my head.
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be alright.
I know everything is alright.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown.
So why am I ten feet under and upside-down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose,
'Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be alright.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be alright.
I know everything is alright.
Everything's alright, yeah,
Everything's alright.
24. God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guocvS7XQW0
Notes: Resurrected by HYDRA, Jean-Paul is brainwashed and under the impression that the X-Men are actually the evil ones; he rounds up his sister and they brainwash her as well, proceeding to sic them on the X-Men. The attack sends a clear message. (Think God = HYDRA)
You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Go tell that long-tongued liar,
Go and tell that midnight rider,
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
Well, my goodness gracious, let me tell you the news.
My head's been wet with the midnight dew.
I've been down on bended knee,
Talking to the man from Galilee.
He spoke to me in a voice so sweet,
I thought I heard the shuffle of angel's feet.
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John, go do my will."
Go tell that long-tongued liar,
Go and tell that midnight rider,
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down.
You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Well, you may throw your rock and hide your hand,
Working in the dark against your fellow man.
But as sure as God made black and white,
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light.
You can run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Sooner or later, gotta cut you down.
Go tell that long-tongued liar,
Go and tell that midnight rider,
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down,
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down.
25. Mad World - Gary Jules
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfR238kimYU
Notes: Jean-Paul and his sister are returned to their normal state after intense work erasing the damage done to their fragile psyches. The reformation of a normal life seems impossible, and Jean-Paul is submerged in a bleak depression as he tries in vain to go back to the way things were. He relives his death in the back of his mind again and again and has night terrors so awful they leave him sobbing.
All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places, worn out faces.
Bright and early for their daily races,
Going nowhere, going nowhere.
Their tears are filling up their glasses,
No expression, no expression.
Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow.
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.
And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles,
It's a very, very mad world.
Children waiting for the day they feel good,
Happy birthday, happy birthday.
And I feel the way that every child should:
Sit and listen, sit and listen.
Went to school and I was very nervous.
No one knew me, no one knew me.
Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me.
And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles,
It's a very, very mad world.