Bent Part 6

[concupiscence66]

Title:  Bent
Author:  Concupid
Pairing:  Howard/Vince
Rating:  R(ish)
Warnings:  mild violence, angst, language.  I’m not sure how to warn for it, but there’s some pretty unhealthy attitudes about sex being discussed.
Summary:  Vince and Howard try to negotiate what they both want.

Comments

[pikabun91]

yeah, they've got some fucked-up attitudes about sex - but it's still good! literally millions of first times have happened in the exact same situation, healthy or not. it's nice to read something real.

[concupiscence66]

Thanks. I have this feeling I should warn people, but what's the warning? Warning: This story features the limiting gendered sexual roles that you see everywhere.

[littleredchucks]

"I’ve been batting my eyes at you and giving you compliments and casually touching your arm while making eye contact for years.  I’ve done everything Cosmo told me, and I haven’t gotten anywhere."
This was the point where I started to drown in the emotions. And this:
“Seriously, Howard. I’m tired of making you feel better about being an asshole to me. Stop it.”
Is when I realised I was completely gone. There were so many things in this chapter that were just so true about the disfunctionality of their relationship and it was heartbreaking yet so beautifully written.

[concupiscence66]

Thank you! It feels weird and unhealthy to write about them basically acting the way most of us were told to act our entire lives. At least I know they'll move through it.

[anonymous]

This entire story has made me uncomfortable from the very beginning, but I am still loving it. Howard has always been awkward, but Vince just makes me cringe. This new dynamic between them is just so wrong, and yet it is exactly how this type of situation would play out between them. I think my problem is that it seems way too real and way too typical - - something that I would never associate with Howard and Vince. They are atypical, to say the least, and reality doesn't ordinarily have too much hold over them. It makes me fearful for the aftermath of it all, when they are restored to their "normal" selves, whatever that is. Oh, shoot! I just realized I'm not signed in and this comment is anonymous - - Connie, it's me, Castie!

[concupiscence66]

It should be uncomfortable, that's the point... but I still feel weird posting each chapter. I think it's a good story and worth telling, but i think the fact i have stress dreams about it says something!

[bluestocking79]

“Is that actually what you think is happening?” Vince asked. “For real? You think we’re both acting like women? I’ve been your fucking wife for a decade. You don’t even blink when people say it. I was a woman, now I’m a man.”

My jaw actually dropped when he said that. There have been suggestions that he was well aware of why he'd had the opposite reaction to what they'd all expected, but there is something almost breathtaking in seeing Vince be so direct and open, especially with Howard, and it sets the tone for this chapter so well. As littleredchucks pointed out, there's so much here that just NAILS the dysfunctionality in their dynamic in a way that's both painful and strangely cathartic, and the genius of it is that it's possible because you've got Vince in a place where he's doing something he almost never does: speaking his mind in a very direct way. Under ordinary circumstances, Vince probably would never come right out and say these things, but because of the switch, he's less constrained by the need to put Howard's feelings first. (To

[concupiscence66]

When I wrote the line about making a man feel better about being an asshole, I had a feeling it would resonate! I think most women have found themselves going from, "Don't beat yourself up, forgive yourself. I do," to "Well you could feel a little fucking sorry, jackass" at at least one point in their lives!

I don't want to put all my cards on the table, but I have found the process of figuring out how they would express themselves when they were thinking about their relationship in such different terms. If not next chapter, then the next will more openly dig into how they see their gender roles.

I tried to fit it in, but it didn't work out, but I very much believe that Howard never, ever saw his mother with nail polish on her fingers, but she always had some on hand for repairs. Any chance Vince had of making Howard see him as wife material ended when Howard asked him for clear nailpolish to put on a crack in a windshield and Vince brought him a clear polish full of glitter.

[bluestocking79]

Any chance Vince had of making Howard see him as wife material ended when Howard asked him for clear nailpolish to put on a crack in a windshield and Vince brought him a clear polish full of glitter.

Yes! I wasn't articulate enough to be able to say this last night, but that's exactly what I love about Howard's thoughts here and his certainty that Vince couldn't possibly be a woman/womanly, simply because Vince isn't like Howard's mum. It's such a perfect little moment of insight and illumination, to realize that Howard's understanding of women is totally in terms of his mother, not recognizing that there's a whole range of femininity out there. It explains a lot about all the signals he's missed and misinterpreted from Vince over the years...

(To be fair, I'm guessing that Vince's understanding of men and masculinity is similarly limited, especially if the effect the potion has had on him is any indication.)

[concupiscence66]

You saying you weren't able to articulate something makes me smile! I think we're all made aware at a young age that there are people our parents dismiss. In my family, my mom calling someone weird was the ultimate insult and looking back, i'm pretty sure weird meant 'a drunk' but since i was never around drinkers, i thought my mom just didn't like loud talkers! I imagine Howard's mom making it clear that a person with glitter polish is a girl, not a woman.

[bluestocking79]

Ha! Yes, that's exactly the picture I've gotten of Howard's mum. Although I was thinking to myself that she would think/say that Vince is, above all, not a lady. I get the impression from Howard that that is a distinction she definitely would make and remark on.

(And believe me, there are plenty of times when I can't articulate things! After 2 AM, I even start to lose my ability to spell...)

[littleredchucks]

Reading these comments has been like finding a Shakespeare play with side-by-side commentary that you read for fun because not only do you have Shakespeare but you have amazing commentary that almost kills you it's so good and exactly how you feel but much more articulate. Does that make sense?
I love this story and these comments so much!

[bluestocking79]

As somebody who once bought a Shakespeare screenplay to read for fun (because yay, original text PLUS the screenwriter's commentary on it!), yes, it totally makes sense to me. Even though your descriptions of my brain droppings are way too kind. ;)

But I really love this story for giving us so much to think and feel and discuss! :D

[littleredchucks]

It truly is a wonderful story. And your comments and responses aren't brain droppings! They're legendary.