The Graduate Seminar Drinking Game V1.0 (Beta)
Because a few people asked for it, here is what I have so far on the graduate seminar drinking game. send me ideas and alterations!
The Graduate Seminar Drinking Game
By a Political Science Doctoral Student who wishes to remain anonymous
V1.0 (Beta)
Please send any suggested updates to confessionalbox@gmail.com . If you have enjoyed the idea and have passed it along please email the author with where you have posted it or what school you have shared it at so he can track where it has been. (For his own perverse enjoyment in the fact that this may end up more widely read than any of his research)
Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for any academic repercussions of playing the game, or for any alcohol poisoning related injuries that may arise from playing the game
Notes: I am trying to make this as discipline independent as possible, but will invariably lean toward social science. Real science folks need to help me out here!
I have nothing against area or identity theorists, even though I have you drink every time they are mentioned!
Game setup and prep: The game should not be given to all members of the seminar. It is better that at least some people wonder what the hell is going on. Generally most schools frown upon open drinking in class, so I recommend you make a thermos full of coffee (cold brewed with vodka instead of water) instead of having your liquor openly displayed.
The game is designed for seminars, not lectures. The game works best in 3 hour seminars in which students are required to carry most of the discussion.
Gameplay:
1. If the professor opens the floor for discussion and absolutely no one wants to go first drink +1.
2. If the Professor rephrases the question in order to get someone to speak drink +1.
3. If the professor finally has to call on someone who is trying to hide to get the discussion started drink +3 (because you know it is going to be a long 3 hours at that point)
4. If the kiss ass student who loves every book or article raves about the assigned readings drink +1.
5. If the discussion centers around the trendy theory of the day drink +2. (If the discussion is based on Rational Choice Theory drink until you pass out.)
6. If the discussion is centered on a method stolen from another discipline drink +2 If the method makes no sense in your discipline drink +4.
7. If the topic of discussion is a formal model that has never been empirically tested and appears to have no basis in reality drink +2. (Political Science addendum: If the discussion is over an article by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita drink once for each letter in his name)
8. If an area studies or identity theory specialist attempts to reframe the entire discussion in terms of their region of interest or through the prism of their theory of gender, race or whatever roll your eyes and drink +4. If there is no possible way that their direction of discussion could make sense (for example gender theory of Newtonian physics) drink until you pass out.
9. If the discussion uses game theory in a way that even Nash would not have imagined in his wildest hallucinations drink +2 and have sexual thoughts about Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly and or Ron Howard.
10. If the professor uses the word heuristic drink +1. If a student uses it drink +3 and throw something at the student.
11. If you are in a gender, race or orientation theory class and you are not a member of the group represented by the theory or professor you might as well just drink until you pass out.
12. If anyone argues that anything that cannot be measured should be disregarded drink +2.
13. If anyone argues that the real life applicability of a theory should be left to an applied discipline drink +3. (If they say leave it to the sociologists drink +4, light up a joint and consider changing disciplines)
14. If it takes more than an hour for the class to agree on the semantics of the discussion drink +6.
15. If someone goes off on a tangent that makes it obvious that he or she did not do the readings drink +1. If the prof lets them get away with it drink +2 and salute the student. If the prof nails them to the wall for it laugh and drink +3. If the prof makes the student cry in the process cringe and drink +4.
16. Language abuse. If anyone uses words that are the bane of your discipline drink as many drinks as are decided by the players before class starts.
17. Foreign language abuse. If anyone uses phrases in a foreign language (excluding courses in the topic) drink +1. If they misuse the phrase drink +2. If they use Latin in anything but legal studies references and terms drink +4 and set their toga on fire.
18. Name dropping. If anyone relates a story or bit of wisdom they were allegedly told by a famous name in the field drink +1. If said person is dead and cannot refute it drink +2. If the person in question died before the name dropping student was born drink +3 and whip out a Ouija board and demand confirmation.
19. If it is a statistics lecture just drink until you are hammered. It will probably make more sense then anyway.
20. If the prof offers to cut the discussion short drink in his or her honor and pick up the first round of drinks for the prof.
The Graduate Seminar Drinking Game
By a Political Science Doctoral Student who wishes to remain anonymous
V1.0 (Beta)
Please send any suggested updates to confessionalbox@gmail.com . If you have enjoyed the idea and have passed it along please email the author with where you have posted it or what school you have shared it at so he can track where it has been. (For his own perverse enjoyment in the fact that this may end up more widely read than any of his research)
Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for any academic repercussions of playing the game, or for any alcohol poisoning related injuries that may arise from playing the game
Notes: I am trying to make this as discipline independent as possible, but will invariably lean toward social science. Real science folks need to help me out here!
I have nothing against area or identity theorists, even though I have you drink every time they are mentioned!
Game setup and prep: The game should not be given to all members of the seminar. It is better that at least some people wonder what the hell is going on. Generally most schools frown upon open drinking in class, so I recommend you make a thermos full of coffee (cold brewed with vodka instead of water) instead of having your liquor openly displayed.
The game is designed for seminars, not lectures. The game works best in 3 hour seminars in which students are required to carry most of the discussion.
Gameplay:
1. If the professor opens the floor for discussion and absolutely no one wants to go first drink +1.
2. If the Professor rephrases the question in order to get someone to speak drink +1.
3. If the professor finally has to call on someone who is trying to hide to get the discussion started drink +3 (because you know it is going to be a long 3 hours at that point)
4. If the kiss ass student who loves every book or article raves about the assigned readings drink +1.
5. If the discussion centers around the trendy theory of the day drink +2. (If the discussion is based on Rational Choice Theory drink until you pass out.)
6. If the discussion is centered on a method stolen from another discipline drink +2 If the method makes no sense in your discipline drink +4.
7. If the topic of discussion is a formal model that has never been empirically tested and appears to have no basis in reality drink +2. (Political Science addendum: If the discussion is over an article by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita drink once for each letter in his name)
8. If an area studies or identity theory specialist attempts to reframe the entire discussion in terms of their region of interest or through the prism of their theory of gender, race or whatever roll your eyes and drink +4. If there is no possible way that their direction of discussion could make sense (for example gender theory of Newtonian physics) drink until you pass out.
9. If the discussion uses game theory in a way that even Nash would not have imagined in his wildest hallucinations drink +2 and have sexual thoughts about Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly and or Ron Howard.
10. If the professor uses the word heuristic drink +1. If a student uses it drink +3 and throw something at the student.
11. If you are in a gender, race or orientation theory class and you are not a member of the group represented by the theory or professor you might as well just drink until you pass out.
12. If anyone argues that anything that cannot be measured should be disregarded drink +2.
13. If anyone argues that the real life applicability of a theory should be left to an applied discipline drink +3. (If they say leave it to the sociologists drink +4, light up a joint and consider changing disciplines)
14. If it takes more than an hour for the class to agree on the semantics of the discussion drink +6.
15. If someone goes off on a tangent that makes it obvious that he or she did not do the readings drink +1. If the prof lets them get away with it drink +2 and salute the student. If the prof nails them to the wall for it laugh and drink +3. If the prof makes the student cry in the process cringe and drink +4.
16. Language abuse. If anyone uses words that are the bane of your discipline drink as many drinks as are decided by the players before class starts.
17. Foreign language abuse. If anyone uses phrases in a foreign language (excluding courses in the topic) drink +1. If they misuse the phrase drink +2. If they use Latin in anything but legal studies references and terms drink +4 and set their toga on fire.
18. Name dropping. If anyone relates a story or bit of wisdom they were allegedly told by a famous name in the field drink +1. If said person is dead and cannot refute it drink +2. If the person in question died before the name dropping student was born drink +3 and whip out a Ouija board and demand confirmation.
19. If it is a statistics lecture just drink until you are hammered. It will probably make more sense then anyway.
20. If the prof offers to cut the discussion short drink in his or her honor and pick up the first round of drinks for the prof.