Twisted Fairy Tale
Title: Twisted Fairy Tale
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor/Romance
Length: 1608 words. Oneshot.
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Harry Potter believed everyone had a Fairy Tale moment. What happens when his comes but it's all wrong.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Note: Old one of mine posted on ff.net but I went through and edited and decided to post it here. Beta'd by the talented FizzingWhizB
Ever since I could read, I had believed that everyone had a fairy tale moment. You know, the moment when your prince came along and saved you or when you went and saved your gorgeous princess. There was never any question about which role I would play. I am a guy; therefore, I would be the prince. I used to spend hours coming up with wild ways to rescue my princess from the clutches of an evil dragon.
All my planning down the drain.
Now, you may be wondering how I even knew of these Fairy Tales, since the Dursleys would rather die a slow and painful death before they would give me a book. Actually, it was Dudley who introduced me to Fairy Tales. He received a boatload of them one Christmas from Aunt Marge. I guess he was feeling generous because after he scowled distastefully at them they were thrown to me.
I must admit, though, that all the reading I did never prepared me for my Fairy Tale moment. Mine was nothing like the ones I read about.
I had a few…glitches in my moment.
First of all, what would you say if I told you my princess was a prince?
If you’re open-minded you’d probably say something along the lines of , “Oh, well, if you swing that way, no problem then.”
What if the tables turned and I was suddenly the princess in dire needing rescue?
“Well, now you got it easy! You get to just lay there looking pretty as your knight in shining armor risks his neck for you!” is probably what you’d be thinking.
What if said prince has hated my guts for the past six years?
It’s okay. You don’t have to say it. There’s so many of you thinking it that I can telepathically sense what you’re going to say.
“Well then, good luck with that whole getting rescued thing.”
Am I right? I knew I was.
With all that said, I now welcome you to listen to my own twisted Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess who was captured by an evil dragon and hidden in the tallest tower. She waited day and night for her prince to come and save her.
Well, that is a classic fairy tale opening. The problem? It won’t work with my story. Let me alter it to fit.
Once upon a time there was a sixteen-year-old wizard who, having fled from the clutches of a homework obsessed girl, ended up at the school lake where he found a Kelpie. He, knowing nothing of the danger, was lured onto its back and taken underwater.
There, that’s much more like it.
I made a mad dash down the seven flights of stairs. Just when I thought they would never end I spotted the front door and escaped to freedom.
I looked around, panting heavily, and frowned guiltily when I saw Ron wasn’t there. Shrugging, I turned around and slowly made my way over to the lake. Was it my fault Ron was a slow runner?
Plopping down to lay near the shallow end of the lake I briefly amused myself with images of Ron being tied up and forced to do homework by a very irate Hermione. My amusing mental video was put on hiatus as a clomping sound originated from near my feet.
Gazing upward, I saw the most beautiful horse looking down at me. The horse was dark blue with pretty bulrushes for its mane. Dark slanting eyes, framed by long luxurious lashes, gazed thoughtfully at me.
I stood up and cautiously held my right hand towards it. The horse slowly inched to my hand. I started petting it and the horse rubbed its head on my hand.
Smiling, I watched it gallop playfully around me.
“Look at the situations you get yourself into, Potter,” a voice behind me drawled.
I jumped and faced Draco Malfoy. So, I escaped Hermione’s clutches only to land myself in Malfoy’s. Great. I would have been better off stuck finishing my homework.
Not in the mood to deal with him, I growled, “Shove off, Malfoy.”
He smirked his annoying smirk that makes me want to kill him every time I see it. Nobody should be allowed to smirk that much. It’s insane.
“And leave you here to die?”
I was then promptly shoved forward onto the ground. I stood and turned around to the innocent looking horse behind me. With Malfoy’s laughter ringing in my ears, I glared at the horse, but it nudged me with it’s hand, and I found I couldn’t be mad.
“What’s going to kill me here? The horse?” I laughed.
“Wow. You’re smarter then I thought.”
“Shut up, Malfoy. Leave!” I yelled. Turning back to the horse I saw it shy away.
“Aw. It’s ok. I wasn’t yelling at you.” It came back and I patted its head. “Yes. You’re a pretty horse. Yes, you are,” I cooed.
Malfoy snorted and headed back to the castle. “Fine, Potter, but I wouldn’t get on its back.”
I turned and sneered at him. Why not get on its back? Deciding that I had to do the opposite of what Malfoy said I jumped up onto the horse. It didn’t work.
Picking myself up from the ground, I saw the horse kneel forward. How convenient. Smiling, I climbed on.
The horse trotted in a small circle as I patted its head. Suddenly it ran to the lake. I screamed with all my might as my head plunged in water.
I’m not sure exactly what happened next. I was struggling unsuccessfully as the horse pulled me under. I was starting to lose breath and hope of survival when something appeared a little to my left.
A handsome prince came galloping along on his white steed to save the pretty princess.
Wrong, wrong, and wrong.
A blond, arrogant git came swimming over to where the boy wizard was struggling against the Kelpie.
Much better. Especially the first part.
In all my thrashing glory, I spotted a flash of blond. Keeping still, I looked over and realized it was Malfoy. Resigning myself to a young death, I felt the horse bite my arm and pull me further under. I screamed in pain, only succeeding in choking on water.
While I was gagging on the water, something clutched onto my feet. The next thing I knew there was a great tangle of two bodies and a horse. I got kicked more times than I can remember.
A hoof pelted me on the head and I blacked out.
I woke up to find Malfoy slapping me. I groaned and looked around. We were floating on the lake.
“Shop ‘iting ‘e.” I sputtered water out.
“Swim!” he commanded. I shot a glare at his rapidly disappearing back but followed anyway.
“How you ever won the second task in fourth year, I’ll never know,” he shouted to me. I was a long way behind.
“I was using gillyweed then,” I defended myself. He swam over and grabbed my arm, pulling me with him.
“Still.”
Suddenly remembering the horse, I nervously looked around.
“Where’s the horse?”
He laughed. “Kelpie. Water demon that takes shapes and devourers its victims underwater. I think I knocked it out with a rock.” He smiled proudly. I ignored him.
I shivered as his breath swept over my wet skin. The water was freezing. He was really close, having to pull me along and all.
“So it could wake up any moment now.”
Kicking like I never kicked before, we finally made it to the edge. Climbing ashore, we plopped in a heap on the ground, panting heavily.
“You’re stupider than I thought. Why didn’t you listen to what I said about getting on its back?” He hissed at me. With his panting it didn’t sound that menacing.
“You expected me to believe you?”
He shook his head and we lay side by side catching our breath.
“Why’d you jump in after me?” I asked the question that had been burning inside of me ever since I saw the flash of blond in the lake.
He turned to look at me and our noses were only an inch apart. “I…um. I couldn’t very well be bested by a Kelpie, could I? If anyone gets to kill you, it’s going to be me.”
I blame what happened next on the lake water. When one consumed as much as I did, one cannot be expected to behave like oneself. I had no control over my actions. Really.
Smiling, I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him.
“Potter!”
Then I kissed him. Yes, I, Harry Potter, kissed Draco Malfoy. I still blame it on the water.
The funny thing was that he didn’t push me away. Instead, he sat there frozen with his hands at his side.
He had really soft lips. He also smelled like heaven.
Malfoy’s a much better kisser then I am.
After pushing me away and staring, he kissed me back. I felt like dying; it was that good. His hand raked through my hair and he kissed down my neck. I moaned and he stopped.
We both stood, and Malfoy walked away. I simply stared at his back.
“You’re the girl in this relationship, Potter,” he called.
“Oh yeah? That’s what you think, Malfoy!” But I smiled, knowing that I was the girl in the relationship. Why else would I have been the one in need of rescue?
And they lived happily ever after.
Okay, not really.
Then again, is there such a thing as happily ever after?
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor/Romance
Length: 1608 words. Oneshot.
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Harry Potter believed everyone had a Fairy Tale moment. What happens when his comes but it's all wrong.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Note: Old one of mine posted on ff.net but I went through and edited and decided to post it here. Beta'd by the talented FizzingWhizB
Ever since I could read, I had believed that everyone had a fairy tale moment. You know, the moment when your prince came along and saved you or when you went and saved your gorgeous princess. There was never any question about which role I would play. I am a guy; therefore, I would be the prince. I used to spend hours coming up with wild ways to rescue my princess from the clutches of an evil dragon.
All my planning down the drain.
Now, you may be wondering how I even knew of these Fairy Tales, since the Dursleys would rather die a slow and painful death before they would give me a book. Actually, it was Dudley who introduced me to Fairy Tales. He received a boatload of them one Christmas from Aunt Marge. I guess he was feeling generous because after he scowled distastefully at them they were thrown to me.
I must admit, though, that all the reading I did never prepared me for my Fairy Tale moment. Mine was nothing like the ones I read about.
I had a few…glitches in my moment.
First of all, what would you say if I told you my princess was a prince?
If you’re open-minded you’d probably say something along the lines of , “Oh, well, if you swing that way, no problem then.”
What if the tables turned and I was suddenly the princess in dire needing rescue?
“Well, now you got it easy! You get to just lay there looking pretty as your knight in shining armor risks his neck for you!” is probably what you’d be thinking.
What if said prince has hated my guts for the past six years?
It’s okay. You don’t have to say it. There’s so many of you thinking it that I can telepathically sense what you’re going to say.
“Well then, good luck with that whole getting rescued thing.”
Am I right? I knew I was.
With all that said, I now welcome you to listen to my own twisted Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess who was captured by an evil dragon and hidden in the tallest tower. She waited day and night for her prince to come and save her.
Well, that is a classic fairy tale opening. The problem? It won’t work with my story. Let me alter it to fit.
Once upon a time there was a sixteen-year-old wizard who, having fled from the clutches of a homework obsessed girl, ended up at the school lake where he found a Kelpie. He, knowing nothing of the danger, was lured onto its back and taken underwater.
There, that’s much more like it.
I made a mad dash down the seven flights of stairs. Just when I thought they would never end I spotted the front door and escaped to freedom.
I looked around, panting heavily, and frowned guiltily when I saw Ron wasn’t there. Shrugging, I turned around and slowly made my way over to the lake. Was it my fault Ron was a slow runner?
Plopping down to lay near the shallow end of the lake I briefly amused myself with images of Ron being tied up and forced to do homework by a very irate Hermione. My amusing mental video was put on hiatus as a clomping sound originated from near my feet.
Gazing upward, I saw the most beautiful horse looking down at me. The horse was dark blue with pretty bulrushes for its mane. Dark slanting eyes, framed by long luxurious lashes, gazed thoughtfully at me.
I stood up and cautiously held my right hand towards it. The horse slowly inched to my hand. I started petting it and the horse rubbed its head on my hand.
Smiling, I watched it gallop playfully around me.
“Look at the situations you get yourself into, Potter,” a voice behind me drawled.
I jumped and faced Draco Malfoy. So, I escaped Hermione’s clutches only to land myself in Malfoy’s. Great. I would have been better off stuck finishing my homework.
Not in the mood to deal with him, I growled, “Shove off, Malfoy.”
He smirked his annoying smirk that makes me want to kill him every time I see it. Nobody should be allowed to smirk that much. It’s insane.
“And leave you here to die?”
I was then promptly shoved forward onto the ground. I stood and turned around to the innocent looking horse behind me. With Malfoy’s laughter ringing in my ears, I glared at the horse, but it nudged me with it’s hand, and I found I couldn’t be mad.
“What’s going to kill me here? The horse?” I laughed.
“Wow. You’re smarter then I thought.”
“Shut up, Malfoy. Leave!” I yelled. Turning back to the horse I saw it shy away.
“Aw. It’s ok. I wasn’t yelling at you.” It came back and I patted its head. “Yes. You’re a pretty horse. Yes, you are,” I cooed.
Malfoy snorted and headed back to the castle. “Fine, Potter, but I wouldn’t get on its back.”
I turned and sneered at him. Why not get on its back? Deciding that I had to do the opposite of what Malfoy said I jumped up onto the horse. It didn’t work.
Picking myself up from the ground, I saw the horse kneel forward. How convenient. Smiling, I climbed on.
The horse trotted in a small circle as I patted its head. Suddenly it ran to the lake. I screamed with all my might as my head plunged in water.
I’m not sure exactly what happened next. I was struggling unsuccessfully as the horse pulled me under. I was starting to lose breath and hope of survival when something appeared a little to my left.
A handsome prince came galloping along on his white steed to save the pretty princess.
Wrong, wrong, and wrong.
A blond, arrogant git came swimming over to where the boy wizard was struggling against the Kelpie.
Much better. Especially the first part.
In all my thrashing glory, I spotted a flash of blond. Keeping still, I looked over and realized it was Malfoy. Resigning myself to a young death, I felt the horse bite my arm and pull me further under. I screamed in pain, only succeeding in choking on water.
While I was gagging on the water, something clutched onto my feet. The next thing I knew there was a great tangle of two bodies and a horse. I got kicked more times than I can remember.
A hoof pelted me on the head and I blacked out.
I woke up to find Malfoy slapping me. I groaned and looked around. We were floating on the lake.
“Shop ‘iting ‘e.” I sputtered water out.
“Swim!” he commanded. I shot a glare at his rapidly disappearing back but followed anyway.
“How you ever won the second task in fourth year, I’ll never know,” he shouted to me. I was a long way behind.
“I was using gillyweed then,” I defended myself. He swam over and grabbed my arm, pulling me with him.
“Still.”
Suddenly remembering the horse, I nervously looked around.
“Where’s the horse?”
He laughed. “Kelpie. Water demon that takes shapes and devourers its victims underwater. I think I knocked it out with a rock.” He smiled proudly. I ignored him.
I shivered as his breath swept over my wet skin. The water was freezing. He was really close, having to pull me along and all.
“So it could wake up any moment now.”
Kicking like I never kicked before, we finally made it to the edge. Climbing ashore, we plopped in a heap on the ground, panting heavily.
“You’re stupider than I thought. Why didn’t you listen to what I said about getting on its back?” He hissed at me. With his panting it didn’t sound that menacing.
“You expected me to believe you?”
He shook his head and we lay side by side catching our breath.
“Why’d you jump in after me?” I asked the question that had been burning inside of me ever since I saw the flash of blond in the lake.
He turned to look at me and our noses were only an inch apart. “I…um. I couldn’t very well be bested by a Kelpie, could I? If anyone gets to kill you, it’s going to be me.”
I blame what happened next on the lake water. When one consumed as much as I did, one cannot be expected to behave like oneself. I had no control over my actions. Really.
Smiling, I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him.
“Potter!”
Then I kissed him. Yes, I, Harry Potter, kissed Draco Malfoy. I still blame it on the water.
The funny thing was that he didn’t push me away. Instead, he sat there frozen with his hands at his side.
He had really soft lips. He also smelled like heaven.
Malfoy’s a much better kisser then I am.
After pushing me away and staring, he kissed me back. I felt like dying; it was that good. His hand raked through my hair and he kissed down my neck. I moaned and he stopped.
We both stood, and Malfoy walked away. I simply stared at his back.
“You’re the girl in this relationship, Potter,” he called.
“Oh yeah? That’s what you think, Malfoy!” But I smiled, knowing that I was the girl in the relationship. Why else would I have been the one in need of rescue?
And they lived happily ever after.
Okay, not really.
Then again, is there such a thing as happily ever after?