(Untitled)

[conformalmap]

I have often noted that I'm bad at complaining. I'm good at bitching. I don't mind whining for fun, or when it's not really relevant, or just to get on people's nerves. But I am terrible -- to the point of meekness -- at asserting true, legitimate complaints

Comments

[iwaswinged]

I worked in my college's development office (we called it advancement) and have no question - once you've given at a certain level, they will expect that you can and will do it again. Unless you say no, and explain it to them. Then they still might ask, but they probably will be less likely to pull out the big guns. If you're sure you don't want to give at that level again, particularly because your previous giving was, in your mind, timed purposefully, let that be known. If you continue to give some ammount, they'll likely respect you more than if you stop all together, but it's possible that the result, instead of you agreeing to give away money you don't want to give away, is that in the future when they're looking for funding for projects they think you might like, they'll come to you

[conformalmap]

This is a good point. Man, the example was a lot more specific than my general crisis. [tl;dr version: I think I have no right to complain about anything, ever, for any reason.]

[electricdust]

there is no rule that says being privileged (in any way) means you forfeit your right to complain/say no.

If someone gives you a look instead of taking time to understand your position, it is their lack of insight, not your lack of character or empathy that cause them to do so.

A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

-- Stephen Crane

[catamethyst]

In terms of your specific example, I thought that it was specifically marked as a one-time large contribution? As in "Jon is helping to get this really cool program off its feet," not "Jon is going to pay X% of this teacher's salary forever." It's their job to be pushy (they're even pushy to me, and I don't have money to give them), but it's your job to push back and set your limits.

In terms of your more general point...yeah. It's understandable. But the "others have it worse, so I don't have the right to make things better for myself at other people's slight inconvenience" thought process is a downward spiral. Everyone deserves to be happy (as long as that doesn't explicitly cause others pain). And it's amazing that you're already using your privilege to help with things that you believe in and are invested in.

[anonymous]

Just be honest that you are a college student and money is tight, but say that instead of paying your regular donation now, you will donate some multiple of that in the future when you are wealthy.